But I'm a cheerleader!

Hermione Granger starts her 7th year at Hogwarts with nothing but low self-esteem and no boyfriend. Ron Weasley cheated on her over the summer with Lavender brown and now she's a hot mess.

With the help of her best friend Ginny Weasley, she persuades Hermione to audition for the newly announced Hogwarts Gryffindor Cheerleading team.

Hermione reluctantly agree, auditions and gets in. With her new looks and new attitude, Ron begins to get jealous of the boys she's attracting, especially Harry potter and unexpectedly, Draco Malfoy.

A/N: THEY ARE NOT AMERICAN! They are British. The idea came for me when I was watching THIS video: .com/watch?v=VpbImVaTutw&NR=1

(Don't call me a dirty mare because I just like the song, okay: D )

DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN HARRY POTTER, ANY OF THE PLACES OR CHARACTERS, EXCEPT FOR THE PLOT. IT ALL BELONGS TO JK ROWLING. NOT ME.

"Ginerva Weasley you are absolutely barking" Hermione Granger snapped as she walked with Ginny to the Gryffindor girls dormitory.

Hermione rolled her eyes at the comments Ginny made about her being a "Hot Mess" and always being in the library. Ever since Hermione started her 7th year she's been nothing but miserable and the definition of anti-pep.

But Ginny had a plan. She's been watching Hermione do running laps around the school once a week, she had the stamina, and the body.

"Ginny what on earth are you staring at?" Hermione questioned Ginny.

"What do you mean?"

"You've been looking at me an awful lot, recently. What's going on?" Hermione replied.

"Hermione, listen to me. Look at yourself! You're a…" Ginny was interrupted.

"Yeah I know, I know…a HOT MESS!" She rolled her eyes again.

Ginny sat on the bed next to Hermione.

"Exactly! Ever since you and Ron broke up all you do is go to the library, and do homework. We never see you in the hall anymore…" Ginny explained.

"I like to be alone…"Hermione whined.

"You weren't like that before the summer holidays! You were cheery and friendly and always around! You're like a hermit!"

"well, thank you for the kind comment, Ginny" Hermione scowled sarcastically, reaching in her side draw for a book. She pulled out Hogwarts, a history and began to turn to one of its thousands of pages.

Ginny leapt forward and yanked the book from Hermione's grip. "Hey! Give that back!"

"Not until you listen to what I have to say" Ginny said.

"Fine" Hermione groaned, crossing her arms. "What do possibly have to say that is so important?"

Ginny smiled smugly.

"Did you hear the last announcement Madam Hooch made in the great hall?"

Hermione tried to remember-nothing.

"Well…"Ginny began "For quidditch, there's going to be a Hogwarts cheerleading team. One team for each house. All 7th and 6th years" Ginny smiled.

Hermione froze. She looked up at Ginny and knew where she was going with this.

"NO! NO! NO! NO!"

"Aww c'mon Hermione, why not? It's not like your crippled or anything like that!" Ginny retorted.

"I am NOT joining a cheerleading squad! Have you seen the outfits in the muggle world? Short skirts! Short tops! Showing of the legs!" Hermione complained wildly.

"It's not like you haven't got the body, either" Ginny replied truthfully.

Hermione sighed and finally snatched the book from Ginny's grip. She looked down at her angrily. "I am NOT joining a cheerleading squad! And that is final!"

"Hermione I've seen you do cartwheels with Ron and Harry outside the burrow in 6th year! You've got the ability! You're pretty and kind and…"

"Ginny stop! NO!" Hermione slumped back onto the bed and sighed again, running her hand through her hair. "Why do you want me to join so badly?"

"You need the self-esteem, Hermione. Seriously, look at you! You wear more layers in material than a mummy! You hide your face and oh my god! Do you KNOW how hot you'd look if you wore makeup!"

"Whatever…"

"Look at lavender! She wears that Chanel stuff and all the guys are after her!"

"It's because she shows more cleavage than brains, Gin." Hermione replied.

Ginny paused for a second. She was about to hit a line, and cross it. She hoped she wasn't going to piss Hermione off too much.

"…What about Ron?" Ginny suddenly said.

Hermione's head jerked up and stared at Ginny, narrowing her eyes. "What about him?" she snapped.

"He's been sleeping with Lavender because of how good she looks, Hermione. Wouldn't you like to get your own back and show the git how good looking you actually are? Imagine him in the quidditch field, watching you come out in that short skirt and top looking absolutely hot…" Ginny egged Hermione onto the brink of persuasion.

"Ginny, I don't know…"

"You could get any guy in the school! Show lavender who's boss around here?"

Dammit, Ginny…Hermione thought. She sighed and put the book back in the draw, looking back at Ginny again.

"Fine. I'll audition. But if I DON'T get in then that's it."

"Deal!" Ginny grinned earnestly.

Back in the common room, Hermione was sitting on the couch, in front of the fireplace, doing left over classwork. She heard the portrait door swing open and in walked a giggling Lavender Brown wearing that stupid necklace she and Ron wore, followed by Padma, Ginny, Katie Bell and Romilda Vane.

"So Ron was saying how much he wanted to…"Romilda nudged Lavender to signal that Hermione was sitting right there. "Never mind…" Lavender sighed and rolled her eyes.

"So are you auditioning for the try outs tomorrow?" Katie asked.

"I am!" Lavender says joyfully. "Just so Ron can see me in the tight little skirt…"she giggled.

"I think it's a stupid idea" Said Katie, who was a chaser for the Gryffindor team alongside Harry and Ron.

"I'm auditioning" Ginny said. She turned to Hermione who's back was turned to the whole lot of them. "So is Hermione" she explained.

Everyone fell silent. Lavender and Romilda gave each other a meaningful glare, and looked over at Hermione who was still concentrating on her work.

"Hermione? Hermione GRANGER?" Lavender was on the brink of laughter when Katie shot her a glare of ice, to make her stop.

"Yes. She is. With us." Padma was on Ginny's side. "Hermione!" Padma called out. Lavender look at her best friend with shock, why was she taking Hermione's side on this?

Hermione looked around and stared at the group of girls. "Yes, Padma?" she asked kindly.

"Try-outs are at 12 in the afternoon tomorrow!" she smiled.

Hermione gave a sarcastic (but tried not to show it) thumbs up, turned back around and whispered to herself: "great."

It was a hot, sunny Wednesday afternoon at Hogwarts school of witchcraft and wizardry. Madam Hooch had chosen the *perfect* time to hold the tryouts…in the middle of the quidditch pitch while the team practices.

Hermione was struggling what to wear for try-outs. And knowing Ginny, she soon held up a pair of pink (Urgh-Hermione hated pink) short shorts while Hermione provided the white tank top.

She had seen cheerleaders before. In their matching skirts and tops doing back flips and cheering for a crowd of people they probably didn't give a rat's ass for, anyways. The idea of seeing herself being a cheerleader, wearing makeup and in a short skirt made her want to puke.

"Shoes?" Padma asked, looking at Hermione.

"Uh…I don't know…trainers?"

"Good" she replied "Socks too" and walked out of the room.

Just then, Lavender appeared through the door as Hermione tied up the laces of her trainers. She stood in the doorway with her arms folded across her chest and chuckled.

"What's so funny, Lavender?" Ginny asked, putting on her red tank top.

"Nothing…it's just…Hermione bookworm Granger… auditioning to be a cheerleader…why?" she laughed bitterly.

"Because I want to" Hermione replied.

"Who for?" Lavender raised an eye brow and walked to the edge of Hermione's bed.

"Excuse me?" Hermione asked nervously.

"Why are you doing this? I mean look at you" Lavender stepped back "You're obviously not cheerleading material, or guy eye candy. So what is this? A joke?"

Hermione clenched her fists and stood up in Lavender's face.

"I'm doing this because I want to. Not for someone else" Hermione half lied.

The thing is, she was doing this PARTLY to see the look on Ron's face. But mostly because she knew she was doing something for herself. She was tired of being the bookworm; she wanted to reinvent herself-In a good way.

"I think you're lying" Lavender hissed.

Hermione grabbed Ginny by the arm and left the dormitory in anger.

"That's right! Run away Hermione! RUN AWAY!" Lavender laughed wickedly.

"Just ignore her!" Ginny put an arm around Hermione. She didn't cry or anything like that- she was furious.

"You're too good for Ron anyways…" Ginny said.

Just then, Hermione remembered the day it all ended:

"Hermione, we need to talk" Ron said, sitting next to her on a bench outside the burrow.

"What's wrong?" Hermione asked.

"Hermione, you know I love you…always" he began. Hermione nodded a yes.

"And I love you too…seriously Ron, what's up?" she asked again.

"Hermione I love you…"He began again.

"Ron, seriously…?"

"…Like a sister."

Hermione froze.

"What?"

"Hermione its over. I can't do this anymore…this relationship. At first I thought…we were made for each other. But you're just so…plain"

Hermione's mouth was ajar. "Plain?"

"You don't dress…you know" he replied.

"What? Like a WHORE?" She snapped. Hermione stood up. "I knew it"

"Knew what?" Ron said, confused.

"You! You're cheating on me!" she raised her voice.

"I don't know what you're talking about, Hermione!" He was obviously lying.

"WITH LAVENDER BROWN!"

"No! I'm not!" He defended his lies, again.

"Then whose pink underwear labelled "L.B" was that under your pillow last night? I KNOW SHE APPERATES HERE EVERY FRIDAY TO HAVE SEX WITH YOU!"

Hermione could see Ron's face get redder with embarrassment.

"You know Hermione, if you weren't such a frigid, uptight BITCH WE WOULDN'T HAVE THIS PROBLEM AND I WOULDN'T HAVE TO SHAG SOMEONE ELSE!"

"YOU GREEDY, UNGREATFUL BASTARD! I HATE YOU!" Hermione cried, and ran back into the house.

It hit Hermione like a ton of bricks. Ron had been sleeping with Lavender Brown (for 3 months he revealed later on) all because Hermione was HERMIONE and refused to sleep with him- she was a firm believer in celibacy.

"Hermione? Hermione are you okay?" Ginny waved a hand in front of her face, and she snapped back to reality.

"Oh, sorry Ginny." Hermione replied.

"Try-outs are in 10 minutes, c'mon, let's go" Ginny hooked arms with Hermione and they walked out of the Gryffindor common room.

5th, 6th and 7th year boys were glancing at Hermione as she walked past in a pair of short shorts and tank top- she never walked outside in this unless she was running a lap around the school…and that was at night.

"Everyone's staring at us" Hermione whispered to Ginny as they approached the entrance to the Quidditch field.

"Yes- they're staring at the future Gryffindor Cheerleaders, that's why" she grinned.

Hermione walked into the sweltering heat of that of the middle of the quidditch field. She noticed flying in the air was the Gryffindor quidditch team and the Slytherin quidditch team on either ends of the field.

There were 4 large groups of girls from each house, all standing away from the other houses, together. Hermione began to feel very self conscious as she stood in front of the Slytherin girls. Consisting of a very pug faced looking Pansy Parkinson, Millicent Bullstrode and other girls with very icy, pointed features.

A few of them, including Bullstrode, noticed Hermione in the crowd of Gryffindor's, and began to whisper and chuckle about her within the crowd.

"Welcome ladies to the first Hogwarts cheerleading Try-outs!" Madam hooch walked forward. "These are the only try-outs for the year and once you are a cheerleader you cannot resign UNLESS there is someone out there to take your place. Rules are as follow: you will do a couple of stunts to a song coming from this muggle contraption…I think it's called a VD player or something like that…"

"CD player, Madam Hooch" Pavarti Patel corrected her. Hooch nodded a thank you and continued.

"I will read a name from each of the lists; you will walk forward and do a couple of stunts and steps. I will grade you on how well you behave. Tomorrow morning at 9am, a list will be posted to the door of each common room with those that have gotten in. you will all have a uniform provided from the school. They will be your house colours…"

"I love red on me…"Lavender beamed vainly.

"…Twice every week you will be taken off lessons to practice. Every team shall have a routine to practice for every quidditch tournament..."

In the air, Harry Potter and Ron Weasley had stopped to look down at who was auditioning to be their team's cheerleaders. They spotted Ginny and Lavender, along with Romilda Vane.

"Look!" Ron pointed "There's Lav" he grinned at his girlfriend who looked up and waved at him before blowing a kiss. Hermione and Ginny threw up a little in their mouths.

"Ron…look…"Harry pointed, he smiled "Hermione's auditioning too!"

"WHAT?" Ron pointed his broom down and went closer towards the ground, he saw Hermione standing nervously with Ginny, watching the first girl, from Ravenclaw, do some moves to music.

"That's great! She does amazing cartwheels…" Harry said.

Ron shrugged a "whatever" and went back up in the air to finish practice with the team.

On the other side of the pitch, the Slytherin team were practicing. Draco Malfoy hovered in mid air with Blaise Zabini on his left, and Gregory Goyle on his right. "Hey look, your two slaves Parkinson and Bullstrode are auditioning to be cheerleaders…"

Draco threw a glance of disgust as Pansy jumped up and waved to him. "DRAKKIE!" She waved again in deluded joy. Draco scowled her and turned around; she was oblivious to the fact that she was just a play-thing when he needed a quick romp.

"Look, the mudblood's auditioning too" Blaise pointed to the crowd of Gryffindor's. There she stood in front row, standing next to Ginny.

"I can't believe that she of all people would be auditioning for that crap. What's the point of having cheerleaders?" Draco asked.

"Groupies" Blaise grinned.

Draco smirked. "Good point."

"Look at her she's gonna mess up the whole team, ha ha!" he joked.

Song: .com/watch?v=bgmAt3-ipM4&NR=1

Back down on the ground, Hermione watched as the first Ravenclaw girl embarrassed herself by messing up her routine and forgetting some of the moves. She ran away crying minutes later.

"Okay then…"Madam Hooch sighed of disapproval "Next- Romilda Vane for Gryffindor!"

Romilda was the tallest girl in her year. At 6'2 she was tall and supermodel thin with curly, bouncy black hair. She walked forward with a smile on her face and turned around. Hooch pressed the "play" button and the song began.

She started off with walking forward and kicking her leg in the air before doing a small front flip. Hooch nodded to this and scribbled something by her name. She turned around and did a cartwheel. When the song ended, Romilda went into a pose. You could tell that she had gone gymnastics before—and that made Hermione dread with fear. Romilda walked back to the group of Gryffindor's before Hooch smiled with approval and ticked her name.

Song: .com/watch?v=dDAGh2AMMXc

"Pansy Parkinson- Slytherin!"

Pansy walked forward in the most revealing top Hermione had ever seen, her chest nearly pouring out of the shirt itself. She swayed her hips and made a very silly pose, pouting her lips.

She jumped up and did a 360 turn, and flapped her arms in the air before bending down and doing a front somersault. Ginny laughed and commented that it made her look a little bit like a chicken. She then did a handstand but couldn't hold it any longer than 2 seconds, thus falling to the ground, crumpled. She stood up and began to do some weird dance moves.

"OKAY! That's enough Ms Parkinson!" Madam Hooch turned off the music and cleared her throat before reading the next name off the list: "LAVENDER BROWN! GRYFFINDOR!"

Song: .com/watch?v=ifJ0dTg1mOI&feature=related

Lavender pushed past a couple of girls and walked to the front. She grinned and put her legs together. The song began to play.

She stepped out and put on leg over the other, doing a front flip. She wiggled her (non-existent) bum and then did a cartwheel. She kicked her leg in the air and shouted out a peppy "YEAH!" Before doing a round-off kick and flip (similar to a cartwheel) she finished with a double hand clap and did a one leg cartwheel.

"WHOO! THAT'S MY GIRL!" Ron clapped and cheered from above. He had hovered down to get a better view.

Ginny rolled her eyes and nudged Hermione with encouragement. She began to shake as Hooch smiled with approval and ticked her name off. "Very well preformed, Ms Brown" she nodded and Lavender walked back to the Gryffindor crowd, smirking at Hermione in particular as she stood next to Padma.

SONG: .com/watch?v=ifJ0dTg1mOI&feature=related

"NEXT- MILLICENT BULLSTRODE!"

The Nirvana song boomed from the CD player, shocking half the girls in the crowds. Millicent walked forward and stumbled over and onto the grass. Girls behind her chuckled. Hermione didn't.

She wasn't one for bullying, and she actually felt sorry for Millicent as the girls behind her started to whisper about her bulky stature.

"Don't be so rude!" Hermione hissed at Lavender and Pavarti Patel, shooting them deathly glares.

Millicent stood up and did a few moves which were rather strange and looked like something from an occult ritual. She stepped forward and kicked her leg in the air, before slipping on the grass and falling right on her bum.

"Okay Ms Bullstrode I think that's enough" Hooch said, turning off the song. Millicent looked on the edge of crying. Hermione and Ginny walked forward to help her off the floor.

"Are you alright?" Hermione asked her, concerned. Millicent looked up and yanked her arm from her, and ran off crying.

Song: .com/watch?v=x8jca8ZATfA

"She'll be fine, ladies…NEXT! GINERVA WEASLEY!"

Hermione smiled at Ginny and walked to the front and started her routine. Hermione had practiced with her the day before, and thought her routine was rather good. Ginny was a good enough athlete, although she'd been slacking off recently after turning in her notice of being a chaser in the Gryffindor team and wanting to be a cheerleader.

Ginny did a backflip and a cartwheel with both hands.

She went on with a few other moves before doing a long round-off and doing a handstand.

In the air, Harry wolf whistled- catching the attention of annoyed Ms Hooch staring at him with her cat eyes.

She kicked both feet up in the air and did a split to finish.

Most of the girls clapped, and Madam Hooch looked pleased- she ticked off her name.

"That was great, Ginny!" Hermione smiled.

"GO GINNY!" Harry shouted from above, Ginny looked up and beamed.

"Okay! Next is…HERMIONE GRANGER! GRYFFINDOR!"

SONG: .com/watch?v=oFUG2sDP2BU (PLAY THIS LOUDER!)

There were a few whispers from each house. Lavender was laughing un controllably at snarky comment Romilda made about Hermione. Ginny shot them both a glare which made them shut up.

"GO HERMIONE!" Harry shouted from above, Ron just hovered there.

Ginny and Padma clapped, telling her to go on.

Hermione walked forward and just…stood there.

"Go on, Ms Granger" Said Madam Hooch.

Hermione breathed in through her nose and exhaled through her mouth. She stepped forward and waited for the right beat. She hadn't done anything like this in a year, (well, since yesterday as she was practicing)

Hermione went forward and started with a handstand, and stood there for a few seconds before doing one single backflip.

Lavender laughed at her simplicity. "She's gonna end up with a broken leg, soon! Quick! Someone fetch for Pomfrey now! HA!"

Hermione turned back around and raised her hands in the air before leaping forward into 4 long front hand sprains. Padma's mouth fell open.

She then walked back two steps and did a long cartwheel, two turns with both hands and then another two turns with 1 hand. She rolled back and did a long jump in the air, going back and doing 6 back hand sprains.

Lavender froze. Hermione was actually really, really, really good.

Draco stopped playing and threw the quaffle ball back at Blaise as he watched some girl do a front aerial with ONE HAND! Who is that girl? He thought.

He hovered lower to get a better view. Whoever she is, she's got a nice ass, he smirked.

"What the-?" Blaise snapped.

"Shut up!" He snapped. Blaise turned his attention to the girl on the field doing stunts he's never seen a girl do before in his life. His eyes popped. He looked closer.

"THAT'S GRANGER!" Blaise gasped.

"WHAT?" Draco turned to him. He looked back at the girl and suddenly realised that the ass he was checking out was the ass of HERMIONE GRANGER!

"fucking hell!"

"She barely touched the floor!" Romilda gasped, amazed.

Madam Hooch smiled and kept ticking Hermione's name, soon to be scribbling down notes by her name all at the same time, smiling and nodding.

Lavender Brown watched in complete jealousy at the attention and praise Hermione was getting. Her cheeks flared red with anger.

Hermione then proceeded to do an Aerial Cartwheel; she jumped up and put her hands and knees together, flipping through the air and landing on her feet.

Ron watched in awe at the girl he dumped, 5 months ago, doing gymnastic moves he never knew she could do. In fact, halfway through her performance, he started to get VERY improper thoughts about it…

Hermione threw her legs forward and pushed her body up as her hands reached the floor- throwing herself into a longer version of a front handspring. She crouched down when she finished the handspring and then stood back up to signal that she was finished.

"OH MY GOD! THAT WAS AMAZING! THAT WAS BLOODY FANTASTIC!" Ginny ran to Hermione and threw her arms around her, smiling. "I told you! I said you could do it!"

"VERY well done, Ms Granger! Have you done gymnastics before?" Madam Hooch asked.

"When I was 7 I used to go to gymnastics classes." Hermione replied honestly.

"Well they've paid off, Ms Granger!" Madam Hooch ticked her name AGAIN and walked back to the CD player.

"That was great Hermione!" Harry landed onto the field, dropped his broom and ran to her. "Absolutely bloody amazing!"

"Wasn't she great? RON! RON! COME DOWN HERE!" Harry shouted after him. Ron landed on the grass soon after and walked next to Harry.

"That was really good, Hermione" Ron smiled weakly. He hadn't said anything to her face in weeks.

"Thanks" she smiled back, weaker than his smile.

Lavender pushed past the Hufflepuffs and ran to Ron, latching on his arm and pulling him away from the group like she was his property.

"How did I do, Won-Won?" Lavender beamed.

"Uh…good. Very good. Great!"

Purposely to make Hermione jealous, Lavender grabbed the back of Ron's head and kissed him with such force that it looked like she was trying to knock him out. It hurt Hermione like hell, she was still in love with Ron.

Ginny scowled at her brother and turned back to Hermione whose eyes were fixated on the floor, her eyes were watery.

"Hermione…let's go" Ginny said, tugging on her arm. Harry followed the two before turning back and shouting at Ron and Lavender:

"GET A BLOODY ROOM!" and hurried up to Ginny and Hermione.

End of PART 1

A/N Sorry about all the links for songs. Every character doing a routine had a different song.

DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN ANY OF THE SONGS!

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