Theatre of the Absurd

Summary: [AU] After some years, Orihara Izaya finds himself back in Ikebukuro. In this dead city, the highschooler wondered what could possibly occur? "You'd be surprised."

It had been two weeks since he met Ryuugamine Mikado, an ordinary salary man with the gentlest smile imaginable. And he felt the irresistible pull of human nature's mysteries.

The man looked meek and acted in a completely unguarded fashion that Izaya was almost disappointed in his initial impression. His actions didn't go with his words and it took Izaya a moment to realize that he had fallen into the man's trap. By the time he realized he was supposed to call Shiki-san, the man had disappeared into the night.

Now thinking back to it, Ryuugamine Mikado had been fantastic in mismatching actions with words. His threats rolled off his tongue like sweet honey while his praises stung like angry wasps. Even though their talk completely revolved around New York and Shiki-san's company, Izaya felt more and more curious about Ikebukuro as the man kept comparing and contrasting the differences. The man spoke of Dullahans, of plots, of blonde super humans, of schemes, of cursed swords, of friends and of angels. It was all light hearted and incomplete. All while enjoying dinner at Kida Masaomi's run down diner. And it tore at Izaya's mind.

In Izaya's mind, he was being offered an apple. The apple of information beautifully presented on a heavenly platter. Behind those shy smiles and meek words, the man emitted an aura of seduction that surpassed any one Izaya has ever met. Not the perverse seduction of a crass prostitute, but the sweet drowning seduction of a deceitful nymph. A devil. A snake.

So at the end of the night when Ryuugamine Mikado wrote down his private number and a chat room nick name, Izaya had it memorized even before the paper touched his fingers.

Tanaka Tarou. 1-xxx-xxx-xxxx

For the first time in his life, Orihara Izaya felt obsessed over one human.

"Izaya-kun, I heard you've met Kida-san," Shinra said, intruding on Izaya quiet thinking.

He needed to know how.

"Hm, and his girlfriend Saki-chan!"

He needed to know how those wheels turned and where the hinges creaked.

"I don't think Kida-san appreciates you addressing his girlfriend as such," Kodota, forcibly nicknamed Dotachin, reprimanded.

He needed to know how to force that smile off and expose that ugliness underneath.

"Well, it's good to know that you've found something to do here! Working part-time might be outside school rules, but none of us will tell, right Shizuo?" Shinra

He needed to know how he where he could find purchase to whisper poison in that corrupted mind.

"Flea, I thought I told you to stay away from Kida Masaomi," Shizuo growled, not unlike an animal.

He needed to know how he could worm his way into the inner ranks of the Dollars.

"Mah, it's fine," Shinra concluded. "Kida-san has left his old ways. Izaya-kun would do good to have a rehabilitation partner."

He needed, nay, craved to know how.

"You speak as though Izaya spending time with Kida Masaomi would end up well," Shizuo bit back.

How to utterly destroy the man.

"Well, Shizu-chan, you'd be surprised."

"Lazy brat," Kida grumbled as he observed Izaya chatting away with some female customers and Izaya did nothing to douse the flames when he gave the man a smile.

"Well, my boss seems not to happy with me chatting," Izaya finally excused himself much to the disappointment of the girls, but with one look at the angry blonde, all shrunk into their seats in silence.

"Izaya-kun, I'm glad that you're having fun, but remember, we hired you as kitchen help," Kida growled similar to another blonde Izaya knew. "But in the past week and a half, you haven't even stepped foot into the kitchen."

"Well, Masaomi-kun," Izaya smiled. "Saki-chan's been down with the flu this whole week. Without me on the floor, you wouldn't have any waiters!"

"I never gave you permission to call me that," the blonde scowled but didn't argue Izaya's presence outside of the kitchen.

"Hm, well, it's either Masa-chan or Masaomi-kun, you're pick!"

"I wish you'd just call me Kida then," Kida grumbled as he moved to return to the kitchen. "Feel lucky that Mikado told me to put up with you."

"Mikado-san?"

"Why is he Mikado-san yet I'm Masaomi-kun?" the blonde blew up comically, but the steam quickly left as the blonde gave Izaya a leveled stare and answered, "He's interested in you. I don't know if that's ever a good thing because he get's bored easily. So try to keep up."

"…"

The blond walked into the kitchen and from the oscillating door Izaya could hear the blonde continue, "His personal motto in life is: Supreme rule of life is to adapt without compromising. So keep up boy. Keep adapting or he'll…"

The door clicked shut before Izaya could finish listening, but the brunette had known even without the blonde's warning.

So for the whole day, Izaya pondered to himself the level of involvement he wanted in this. Was Ryuugamine Mikado worth all this? Unlike in New York, there was no Shiki-san paying him anymore. Would the man's crushed and betrayed face be enough of a reward to continue?

"Ah, Izaya-kun! I thought you might be here." And there he was, smiling and waving.

Izaya felt a sudden chill that spread from within him to the tips of his fingers. Yes. It would be worth it. When this human was on the floor, looking up at him in fear and passion, Izaya would smile a dreadful smile and laugh a dreadful laugh.

But for now, Izaya would smile a friendly smile and laugh a cheerful laugh. He would smile at the woman who came with Ryuugamine Mikado. He would tease the man about having a girlfriend. He would not touch the knife in his pocket to scratch that woman's pretty skin. Nope.

At least, not today.

At the sounds of light tapping, Izaya turned his head and as he suspected, Celty was tapping a message.

Izaya-kun, I saw you with Mikado yesterday.

"Indeed you did," Izaya answered, careful to avoid catching the attention of Shinra and Shizuo who've decided to walk him home. Behind them, the blonde and the wannabe doctor were in a fiery dispute on household remedies for the common cold so Izaya wasn't too worried.

I talked to Masaomi the day before and he says that Mikado has been coming to talk to you. Is that true?

"Hm, not exactly," Izaya smiled. He sprinkled little truths with the lies and he knew that it would do the trick when the truth probably wouldn't have. "He's been coming with his girlfriend. They're friends with Masaomi-kun."

Celty seemed to pause for a moment. Her motorcycle hummed as she gently pushed it forward to match Izaya's quickening pace. Her silence seemed to be thoughtful as she started typing and deleted and started again several times before she directed a question towards him:

Are you apart of the Dollars?

"Are you headless?" Izaya countered. Ever since he got to Ikebukuro, the motorcyclist had refused to affirm or deny any of the rumors. She merely brushed him off every time. He would be lying to say he didn't expect Celty to shake off the question and get sidetracked with the new topic.

But, she flicked off the visor and exposed the emptiness inside. The truth for a truth. Celty wanted a serious answer. She probably was trying to show him the gravity of the situation and how far she was willing to go, but this merely incensed Izaya's hunger even more.

He wanted to know more of the Dollars. So far he's only been able to scratch the surface. He knows only what Ryuugamine Mikado wants him to know.

"No, I'm not," he answers. It was only fair he supposes. "For now."

Don't underestimate the Dollars or Mikado. He will trap you in his games. He is dangerous.

Izaya merely hums at this information and smirks in satisfaction as the headless rider gave a frustrated shake of her head.

I will show you then.

He looks over at the motorcyclist with a disinterested look. She snapped down her visor with a decisive flick. Celty slipped her phone up her sleeve before motioning for his. Izaya handed it over casually and watched as she added herself as a contact. Returning the boy his phone, Celty retrieved her own phone and messaged:

Call me when you get off work. I'll take you to the heart of the Dollars.

And with that, she sped up, leaving the group to their own devices and ignoring Shinra's confused calls of her name.

"Izaya-kun," Saki called their new helper over with a cheerful smile. The boy had just finished with the last table's order. Izaya walked over with a smile. In her hands, she held a bundle of cloth or what seemed to be a bundle of cloth. "This is for you!"

Shaking the fabric loose, Izaya realized it was an apron. The same one that Saki and Kida wore. A simple pale yellow apron with the restaurant's logo printed on the chest part, a circle with the American dollar sign inscribed in it.

"I made it during my week off," Saki explained. "I thought that whether you worked in the kitchen or on the floor, you should have a basic uniform."

"Thanks Saki-chan!" Izaya proceeded to put it on over his school's white button up.

"Here, let me help," Saki offered good-naturedly. She gently turned him around to tie the back. "You've been a great help, Izaya-kun."

"I only do what my job description says," Izaya countered demurely. He could hear Kida cough in the background and mumble what were probably insults. "It couldn't be helped that you were sick. Are you feeling better?"

"…yes," Saki answered, her hands giving the aprons strings a final tug. "It sure was cold the past week wasn't it?"

Izaya stayed back facing her. He didn't want her to see the smile that crept on his face. She messed up. Saki had not been sick this past week. The past week had been hotter than normal and cooled down considerably yesterday, but that's not what the weather report said. The weather report had said the past week would be cold. Saki had not been around to know the weather report's error.

"Oh, by the way Izaya-kun," Saki interrupted his thoughts. "Masaomi and I were wondering whether you'd like to do weekends."

"Weekends?" he echoed, finally turning around knowing his smile was fixed and perfect.

"You only work during the evening on weekdays which are pretty slow for us," Saki explained. "We would really appreciate your help during the weekend if you have time."

"I'll think about it Saki-chan," Izaya replied, still polite and charming. But in his mind, he had already rejected the offer. The weekends were the only times he got to go around collecting information. Either that or ditch school, which wouldn't be a problem but similarly, weekdays were slow for information as well. Well, unless something more interesting happened here during the weekends…

"Saki, could you take this to table seven? Izaya, come into the kitchen!" Kida called.

"Hai, Masaomi-kun!" Saki answered and hurried off with a quick smile directed toward Izaya, "Think about it okay Izaya-kun?"

So Izaya made his way to the kitchen and was greeted by the back of the chef.

"Masaomi-kun," Izaya sang in the tone he knew that Kida hated. "Was there something you needed?"

"On the weekends this restaurant is closed for normal business," Kida began, back still turned from the boy. The man didn't make his usual complaints about the boy's tone or lack or respect. "The Dollars meet here during that time."

Izaya frowned. Well, that was no fun. He didn't even have a chance to find this out himself.

"I'm telling you this now because this weekend Mikado says he wants to begin something big," Kida continued. "It's going to save or break the city."

Finally the blonde turned toward the boy with an expression, Izaya couldn't place.

"This is your last chance to back out, Orihara Izaya," Kida said, his voice soft and unwavering. "Once you come to the meeting, you're agreeing to stick out until the end. Those who don't…your friends Shinra and Shizuo know very well what happens then."

Shinra? Izaya wondered. He knew about Shizuo's previous affiliations but Shinra as well?

"Regretfully, Shizuo left the Dollars after punishing Shinra."

A/N: Oh woah, um, I didn't think people would actually like my little 3am idea. I'm not sure if everyone understands but Kida and Mikado are adults around Izaya and Shizuo's canon ages. Yeah, just making sure, 'cause I realized that I never specified that. Thanks for reading guuyz. : )