Apologies to those I upset, I realise with nerves already on the edge for tomorrow's final Ep (Mine included!), I've been a bit hash but I do thank you sooo much for all the comments and prods. It makes my day to think you guys enjoy reading what's here.

This is the longest chapter I've posted but couldn't bear to split it and hopefully explains why it took a tad longer to post. Please please do review or I'll be left in the dark and no one like the dark…

So much had been planned. This wasn't how it was supposed to play out…

-.-.-

It had been several days since Harry's funeral. In that time Ruth hadn't gone to work, there seemed no point to it, in fact Ruth saw little point to anything these days.

Morning rain hammered on her windows, its relentless clatter was the only reason she was awake before noon.

Pulling her dressing gown tight around her, in cosy slippers she flipped on the kitchen radio, the quiet tune to Bryan Adams', 'When you're gone', hummed from the speakers, sighing, it seemed the world was united in a mission to remind her of her grief. With tired eyes Ruth considered if it was to be tea or coffee her body most required.

Reaching for her strongest coffee Ruth was scooping spoons into her red mug. The mug had been a joke from Malcolm in his retirement, its print reading: 'Keep Calm and Carry On', Ruth was left to muse the instructions as the doorbell rang. Glancing down the hall through the marbled glass, Ruth made out the silhouette of someone hunching from the rain and holding what looked like a newspaper above their head.

Reaching the door she unlatched it and let a rather scruffy but harmless looking chap, a foot within the doorway.

Lowering his soggy newspaper and turning his collar up against the morning chill, the man smiled, "Morning Miss."

"Can I help?"

"I'm lookin' for a Miss Everhead."

Ruth sighed, "It's Ever-shed, and that's me."

Looking her up and down, the man frowned, "Right. Well your taxi's ere. I'm guessing you either forgot or changed your mind?"

"Taxi?"

"Yep, Miss Everhead, Seven AM."

"Evershed," she growled, "and I didn't order a taxi."

"Look luv all I knows is I've been paid triple to come collect you by seven."

"What?" Ruth was further confused "To go where?"

"Dun-no" he shrugged.

"Don't know? You're the driver!"

"Technicality."

Ruth was well practice in holding her patience, dealing with civil servants all day, it had become essential requirement, but his morning Ruth was not at her best, "What? ..There's no technicality about it. There's the taxi. You drive it, ergo, Taxi-Driver."

"Not a morning person are you luv?..." he replied drearily.

Ruth silently fumed.

"…I've been given a postcode to type into the satnav once, and only once we set off. Dat's all I know. Did seem a bit dodge to me but it's up to you miss, you coming or not?"

Ruth pulled her dressing gown tighter around her. She felt like a fish taking the bait. "Erm…alright. Give me two minutes…"

Having hastily thrown some form of clothing on Ruth grabbed her long jacket and about to step out the door, glanced at the phone on the side, she realised she should report what's happening.

She should, but of course she didn't.

-x-x-x-

The thick tar-like smell of diesel consumed the air as stepping from the cab Ruth wandered curiously along a paved path towards a large aircraft hangar. The rain thumped down in heavy droplets, thudding against her shoulders and sealing strands of her hair together. Wiping the rain from her eyes she looked around her.

The desolate grey tin hanger stood alone, surrounded only by green sub-urban fields and with a single black strip of tarmac that she presumed served as a runway. Deserted of people, the patter of rain muffled a distant sound of a small engine purring from within the hanger.

Nearing the hanger entrance, pleased to at least soon be out the rain, Ruth's path was blocked. From behind the large sliding doors stepped out a figure and Ruth halted in momentary shock. Less than ten meters from her, marbled chocolate pools of expression stared back. Buttoned in a thick long jacket, a ghost peered back at her.

Wind-burnt rosy cheeks coloured her otherwise whitewashed face. Eyes glued wide open she softly stepped closer till the distance between them was at arms breadth. Both transfixed in a silent gaze, Harry's heavy breath misted the air between them. Rain lightly beat his shoulders and with a timid smile he was just starting to let her name fall from murmuring lips when he recognised the heart-ache imprinted in her face and spotted too late the open hand that rapidly sped its way to his jaw.

THUNK- Slapping him hard, Harry caught the full force of her strike. Her expression broken, she had no insult adequate for words.

Hand cradling his face, Harry cringed from both the sharp pain searing through his jaw and from mounting guilt.

Sealing the gap between them, his gentle paws gripped her shoulders and with the softest purrs he entreated, "Ruth please."

Deep furrows dug across her brow, lips left to quiver, her emotion boiled over into an angry sob and with loose fits struck his chest.

Harry withstood the beating, gradually pulling her closer to him he quashed the fight in her and held her shivering chest next to his.

Spoken to his chest she shuddered, "All the time..."

His gravelly voice vibrated through her, "I'm so sorry"

Ruth shook her head and tilting back trapped him with her eyes. A tear rolled her cheek, "I thought you were dead, do you have any idea?"

"I-"

Abruptly Ruth pushed back so her body was freed a little space from his and she further drilled her eyes into his, "You should have told me. You could have told me!"

"Ruth, " The purr of her name his continued and begged apology.

Crystallised eyes looked back at him, with infinite caution his arms drew their bodies back together and bravely his fingers rose to trail up her jaw, tucking aside her locks of hair, he felt her surrender to his touch.

Ruth's hands rested on the lapels of his jacket, her eyes still tinted in anger but glazed with relief, she lifted a hand to his cheek. His head melted into her touch and unable to hold back Ruth fell to him and brushed her lips with his. His lips burned through her whilst his heated breath was left to wash her mind numb of sense. Withdrawing her lips her thumb continued to brush across his cheek and in broken utterance, whispered "Of all the things you've done Harry."

Turning her hand from his jaw he softly kissed her palm. Her hand now in his, he sighed with regret. Seeing the pain he'd caused, the pain he always caused, it ate rotten through his soul.

Overwhelmed and feeling the fool, Ruth twisted her hand free of his and replaced her fisted hands on his chest, "I've even been talking to your bloody grave for Christ sake."

Again Harry cringed and it was time to explain. His horse voice began, "It had to be this way…"

Ruth's face narrowed with doubt.

He continued, "…Science can be faked, but your reaction was undeniably real. You, of all people Ruth, had to believe it was me so others would too."

Fathoming out Harry's game, Ruth's face dented further, "So your watch?"

Averting his eyes he admitted, "I knew you'd know what it meant to me, how unlikely I would be to leave it."

Ruth paused, her breathing deepened and raising her battered eyes to meet his, her voice was left numb, edged in final disappointment, "You used me Harry."

Her words ripped breath from his lungs. Jaw clenched in rising anguish, his fingers lifted to scrunch her shoulders a little tighter, "I know what I did was terrible but I didn't want any of this, it was the only way." His head sunk and his expression pleaded with her.

Her mind awash with surreal confusion, Ruth removed herself from his spellbinding gaze and looked aside. Harry's arms fell from her shoulders and Ruth was woken to his fingers threading through hers.

Snapping her eyes to his, she wanted nothing more than to kiss him, act out just one of the thousand scenes she'd wished for if she ever had just five minutes more with him. Yet his use of her, stung, "Of all the things you've done Harry, this, this…." Cracked with emotion her voice trailed off

Harry squeezed her hands and with pain edged in his face breathed, "Forgive me."

Her fingers flexing within his, Ruth's face twisted aside and her face filled with resistance.

Rasping his plea, "You said anything."

Gently she shook her head, "What?"

"In the park, when you asked to help, you said you'd do 'anything' and I said, 'it wouldn't be easy.'."

Ruth was firm in her defence "Harry, I didn't agree to-"

"Forgive me?" he cut in.

"Oh Harry," Feeling duped she deflected the memory but undeniable was the brick of recollection that hit her. The evening in the park, the passionate kiss of his lips and her blind promise of forgiveness, Ruth's mind was flooded with it all.

Reigning in her grievances Ruth tried to gather her thoughts and giving in to an aching heart, sighed a mix of defeat and despair as she finally let her body truly wilt into his, "Oh Harry, this has all been such a mess."

Placing a kiss in her hair he wrapped his arms round her and drawing back, nuzzled his smooth shaven cheek against hers, his eyes fluttered shut and he murmured relief, "Oh Ruth, my dear Ruth."

Gazing up at his tired, hollow eyes Ruth sniffed back the tears that'd pushed to the corners of her eyes, "What happens now?"

Harry nodded behind him and lamely replied, "I'll find another country, another life."

Ruth bit her lip and found some lightness, "I see you're going out in better style than I did then?" Stiffing back tears she nodded towards the small plane behind him.

Forcing a smile he replied with the glimmer of cheek in his eye, "Tomas Cook loyalty points, seems I've exiled enough spooks to earn an upgrade to wings."

With his awful joke came a shared burst of sad laughter and Ruth clutched him tighter.

Her fingers rolling along the edges of his coat her question was laced with an element of mother-like concern, "How will you manage?"

Tilting back he shot her a questioning look.

Ruth explained, "You've lived God knows how many years being chauffeured around, dinners served in a club, I doubt you remember the last time you had to even look at a washing machine."

An amused smile grew across his face and whilst his spare hand re-tucked strands of her wetted hair behind an ear, replied, "Ruth, I assure you I am fully house trained. Out of practice yes, but competent nonetheless."

Leaning to his touch, Ruth gave quiet sigh, "Yes I know, I just-"

His hand started to trace her jaw, "I be fine," he breathed.

Her eyelids faltering under their own weight, his fingers continued to caress, "I know."

Tracing his thumb over her lips he longingly sighed, "We making such a terrible habit of goodbyes, Ruth."

Prising her glassy eyes open she nodded and her breathing deepening a little, "So take me with you."

Harry's face fell with shock. "What?"

"I'll come with you. Us, we can be together. Start a new life."

Harry looked deep within those swirling blue eyes, his lips quivered in doubt, "Ruth, you've not thought this through, you're emotiona-"

"What's left to think?" She demanded.

He uttered his response, "It just can't be, Ruth."

Broken and confused she replied, "Why?"

"Oh Ruth," the answer lay hidden in his eyes.

"You said….you said you loved me."

"And I do," He replied firmly, "Completely."

"I don't understand then." Taking a breath, she sort to reassure him, "This isn't a sacrifice for me, there's nothing left for me here. This life it's…well it's slowly destroying me and you, you're the only thing I-" Biting her lip she finished her confession, "Harry, without you I'll always be lonely."

Harry squinted and for a terrifying moment Ruth thought it was disgust she saw but with a shake of his chest she realised he was trying hard to suppress a growing shudder of emotion.

Her hand reached up and cupped his jaw, a hopeful smile grew over her, 'perhaps he thinks a life with him is a poor trade? How wrong he is,' and for the first time in weeks hope filled her trodden heart. "Together, you and I, just think of it."

Her hands soothing his jaw, she'd made it sound so simplistic that he could see it, perhaps even almost touch it, but biting his lip and with a mournful shake of his head, his voice trembled in return, "You must stay, Ruth."

Hands slipping from his face, "Don't. Don't say that," she appealed.

His breath was husky but firm as he gave her a final explanation, "Going AWOL just a week after my apparent death, don't you think someone would suspect?... The risk of anyone thinking, or even slightly suspecting that I'm anything but dead, would mean the hunt restarted, eventually they'd find me...they'd find you too."

"So where does that leave me Harry, what am I to do?" she replied whimpishly.

With no answer, Harry replied, "I so wish it could be different, I really do."

Ruth shook her head, drawing a shallow breath she cursed, "Why did you bother with this? Why not leave me to think you're dead?… At least then I wasn't rejected."

"I am not rejecting you!"

"Feels like it."

"Damn it Ruth, do you not think this is hard for me too?..."

Harry took a second breath to recalibrate his tone, with his heart on his sleeve, there was a thin line between anger and frustration.

Calmer, he added, "I didn't want this. I would have walked away, would have let you think me dead, because as much as it may pains me to lose you, I'd do anything to spare you further grief."

After a pause, brushing his sentiment aside, Ruth dug around his words and, convince he'd no answer to give, asked, "What do you mean, you 'would have'?...What changed?"

"You Ruth, you asked me for a promise… That park, you made me swear we'd meet one last time, one last goodbye, well this is it."

Ruth's heart tumbled to oblivion; this whole meet was so Harry could merely kept his word.

Eyes lost to some distant deepness, her words stumbled, "I'm not sure I can do this alone."

"You're not alone."

Her eyes snapped to his, "I'm without you."

Harry swallowed.

Ruth added, "I didn't even look."

He frowned in confusion.

Offering over a weak smile, "When I gave you your new ID, the two passports, I didn't check the names. So I don't know your name, your new name, I'd figured it safest that way."

Crest fallen, he already knew the implications.

Lips quivering she choked on her warning, "You leave and I'll never find you." Failing to quash a sob her hand found her mouth and held it partly back.

"Ruth," Harry sighed bowing their temples together and breathed, "Oh my dear Ruth."

Spilling through staggered breath, "Somehow you always leave me tears Harry."

Harry grimaced; knowing no words that could make her hurt any less, he pressed a kiss into her hair and with a strong but gentle hold, continued to cradle her.

Knife still twisting in her heart Ruth quietly confessed, "It hurts so much, loving you."

Through a mutter he offered something of a weak apology, "I don't deserve it."

Tensing her arms and pulling back, she looked to him, "Don't you dare say that. Don't you dare say what I've given you isn't worth it."

"That's not what I said."

"No?"

"No." Harry's gaze remained resolute but his heart waning, gave into the risk of temptation, "Let me give you my name. One day maybe you-"

Ruth winced, "No. You don't get to discard me only to feed me some distant trail of hope. You make your decision. One way or the other, it ends here."

Bleakly he replied, "You're right of course, you always are…. Ruth, I will have to leave."

Ruth's face flinched with his decision.

He spoke softly, "I understand your need for a clean break from this but for myself, I'll pray fate finds us."

From pursed lips Ruth expelled a burst of air. "Pray?" She asked incredulously, whacking his chest with her tired fist, "You don't believe in God, much less in 'fate'."

Tilting his head, Harry grazed his cheek down across hers, murmuring into her skin, "I believe that when it comes to you and me, there's something, something else at work."

"Harry. Please I-"

"…Oi. Sir, you coming? A spritely young pilot hollered from the seat of a plane, across the airfield.

Swivelling his head and casting a placating nod in the direction of the pilot, hesitation flicked through his eyes. Dipping his head he pressed his lips with hers, tasting her lips and feeling her hands spread against his chest, their muffled breathing drew heavy and in their last moments Ruth clung to him as though she was squeezing the moment for every last drop.

A last brush of her lips with his, the rain washing her tears down both their faces, "Harry you can't."

Lifting his lips from hers he silenced her with soft petalled kisses along her jaw, at her ear he whispered, "This isn't goodbye, it never is with you and I."

Feeling the shudder of her chest beneath him he lifted his head and placed a final kiss in her hair, pausing one last time he inhaled the lightness of her perfume before breaking his body from hers and circling toward the plane. Not looking back, not letting her see the tears that'd started to run freely down his cheeks, he reached a block of steps, briskly climbed up next to the pilot and pulled shut the door to his side.

Propeller spinning in a blur, the engine's fierce buzz intensified and the wheels rolled off...

-.-

Alone in the rain, Ruth stood till the small dot in the sky was no longer visible. Rain had drenched her through and fresh tears rolled down her cheeks. She looked out to the empty sky and wondered if it was worse thinking he were dead or knowing he lived but she'd no hope to ever see him.

Her tattered heart couldn't decide, all she did know, was it hurt all over again.

.

-.-

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