He Charmed My Socks Off

Harry can be just as charming as his father, as the girls at Hogwarts found out when their socks suddenly started disappearing.

Harry James Potter never knew his parents. No, they died when he was but one year old. Sad and terrible yes, he didn't dwell much on it; he couldn't do anything about it. Not that he didn't want to know them, he was an attention starved teenage orphan, he wanted to know all he could. People were generally more than happy to tell him about them. And of course being the attention starved orphan that he is, he wanted to be like his parents. So it wasn't completely his fault he ended up the way he did in seventh year. After all, he was told much about his father's charm, wit, pranks, and generally immaturity while he was only really told his mother was smart; well, he learned about their looks too but that wasn't important as he was already a meld of them there. So in seventh year, it should be no surprise that he was in the top of his class, charming, and quite the prankster. The school learned new type of fear, a fear that those who went through the Marauder's and the Weasley twins knew oh so well, prank fear.

Our story takes place one inconspicuous morning when the sun was just coming up in the sky. The young hero, also known as He-who-defeated-he-who-must-not-be-named, was sleeping peacefully like most other students in Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Looking at him now, sleeping peacefully like he is, no one would understand the fear others hold for him. A couple seconds after wondering this ponderation, they would find them scared as well, as young Harry Potter tended to somehow know when someone was thinking that nearby and would laugh diabolically in his sleep. When someone laughs like that while sleeping, people tend to back away in fear, or just in a freaked out manor.

The peaceful scene was destroyed and shattered by a loud, obnoxious ringing. Five boys, Harry included, swore colourfully, one even fell out of his bed and onto the cold, unforgiving floor.

"Who set the alarm?" No one was sure who bellowed what they were all thinking. Just as they were about to blame Neville, the boy had gained a backbone but could still be rather timid and thus perfect for blaming, their door opened admitting a female.

Poor Neville, the one on the floor, squeaked and pulled his blankets off his bed to cover his barely clad body. Harry ignored that and his best friends frozen form and instead smiled charmingly at the intruder. "Hello Ginny."

Harry's greeting snapped Ron out of his shock and shrieked, "Ginny!" He scrambled out of bed and stumbled to the door. "Get out, this is the boys dorm!"

"How'd you get up here anyway?" Dean sleepily asked.

The unrepentant female just waved her hand dismissively. "Not important."

"Not important!" Ron screeched, ignored.

"What is important is getting ready for Hogsmeade. We have much to do and too little time; so chop to it boys!" Ginny spun on her heel and stalked away.

"If I didn't see her as a sister, I would so marry her."

Ron turned red and slammed the door shut.

"She's not my sister," Dean leered.

Ron's face turned redder and Seamus smirked at Dean. "I recall you being dumped."

"Well then," Harry grinned at the room. "She's Ron and my sister, Dean's been done and dumped, Seamus is gay, soooo, Neville, my lovely friend."

"Harry!" Ron lunged and knocked his best friend off his bed. "Stop trying to set up my sister!" He yelled at Harry, face red.

"Who needs to?" Dean snorted. "She can find guys all on her own."

Ron didn't dignify that with a retort and stormed to the bathroom, slamming that door as well.

"Did he just lock us out of the bathroom?" Neville finally spoke.

The boys shared a look and with a unanimous thought, raced to the bathroom and started banging on the door.

"Ron!"

Ron let them pound on the door and yell for a few minutes before taking pity, or just getting tired of the noise, and unlocked the door. The other four boys quickly piled into the bathroom before they could be locked out again and started their morning routines.

An hour later - in which prompted teasing and being called girls - the boys were gathered downstairs.

"Okay," Ginny took control like a drill sergeant. "It is now seven-thirty-" "In the freakin' morning." "-and we have until five-o-clock to roam Hogsmeade." She paced in front of the group sprawled in different levels of awareness on the Gryffindor common's furniture. "To wake you sad saps up, our first stop will be the joke shop. After dragging Harry out, by the ear if necessary, we will head to Honeydukes. By then it will be close to lunch but not quite so we will wonder around window shopping until going to the Three Broomsticks for lunch. After that will be clothes shopping, and I will ask if my butt looks big in something so prepare your answers now." Most of the guys just blinked tiredly at her. "I warned you. After that will be the bookstore and then back here. Compendia?" Without waiting for a response Ginny banged the portrait door open and pointed out into the hall. "Move it children!"

Harry looked around at the slowly moving group. "Aren't we all older then you?" The glare he received coupled with Ginny fingering her wand caused Harry to laugh nervously. "But move we'll do anyway." He scurried out of the portrait door and smiled at the group on the other side.

Filch glared at the group as they waited to be checked off the list to go to Hogsmeade, but it was ignored with ease of practice. They gathered in the not-so-horseless carriages, laughing and joking.

"God, remember the time when Ron and Hermione ignored their attraction to each other." Ginny smiled at the couple. "These trips couldn't go by without a loud argument."

Ron and Hermione blushed while Harry smirked at Ron, informing them, "Oh yeah, I remember all right."

Ron's entire face turned red and the others perked up, smelling an interesting story.

"I know you eventually locked them together in the Prefects bathroom," Neville started confused, "but what'd you do before that? I know I wanted to tie them together often."

"I made sure that Ron couldn't get together with any other girl." Harry's smirk threatened to split his face.

Everyone was looking slightly confused so Ron decided, to his embarrassment, to clarify. "Every time he caught me trying to get a girl, or even if a girl was flirting with me, he would come up and ask…" Ron stopped, to embarrassed.

"So Ron, how's your aids?" Harry finished for his best friend.

Dean and Hermione gapped the black haired boy while the purebloods looked at the three confused.

"What are aids?" Seamus asked.

"And that's the question Ron was asked afterwards." Harry informed them as Hermione explained sexually transmitted diseases to the group.

As the carriage jolted to a stop those already in Hogsmeade and the little towns inhabitants stared as the group fell out of their transport laughing.

"What'd you do Potter?" A classmate from another group yelled from somewhere.

"Aids!" A couple of the group choked out while Harry just gave them all a shark smirk.

Flustered, Ron stalked past the group towards the joke shop. The group followed once the laughing got under control. Ron ignored the group throughout the joke shop and Honeydukes, only stopping when lunch came and his stomach demanded they stop window shopping and go get food already. Of course, the other's ignored him at that point, as the window shopping had just started.

"I'm hungry."

Harry snorted and Hermione sighed. "You're always hungry," Ginny informed her brother. But none-the-less, the group agreed it was finally a good time to have lunch.

The group gathered at a free table in the Three Broomsticks while Harry went to order their food, as well as attempt to charm Rosemerta, who seemed to be immune to the Potter charm after having to not only deal with his father, but his godfather as well.

"Any luck mate?" Ron asked when Harry returned, right before he beginning devouring his food.

"Nada, that woman is resilient." Harry pouted.

"Ah, there, there," Ginny patted his back as the rest of the table ignored them. "Guess you just aren't as good as the girls at school say, that's all."

"If that was supposed to be comforting," Harry deadpanned, "it was an epic fail."

Ginny just smiled at him and turned to her food, starting up a conversation with Hermione about pros and cons on having friends from different houses. The others were quickly drawn into the conversation as it got more into a debate then a conversation.

"Yes, but what about these trips?" Hermione asked. "Unless you have a friend in Slytherin the only people you can go to Hogsmeade with are fellow housemates."

"That's only because Dumbledore thinks it will promote 'friendship' between our houses," Ginny rolled her eyes.

"And it's only one day every week." Neville pointed out, on Ginny's side.

"Sure, only one day, but then there's classes, dorms in different sections of the castle, different tables, it goes on." Seamus pointed out to that and Dean nodded, both being staunch supporters of their house.

"There's nothing stopping you from sitting at other tables and everyone, save maybe Hermione, has free periods." Ginny argued back fiercely.

"But free periods don't always correspond." Harry threw out, on neither side, just enjoying watching them go at it.

"Yeah!" Hermione's side agreed.

"Then again," Harry wasn't finished stirring them up more, "it does give us reason to skip class."

Hermione growled at him while the rest of her group now swayed in their decision.

"There's that." Dean mumbled to Seamus.

Ginny smirked triumphantly, "Besides, it's not like that divide will still be there when you get out of school."

"Actually," a mirroring smirk curled onto Hermione's lips, "there is a division based on your house out of school. Gryffindor's are more accepted into the aurors, Slytherin's are likely to be hired for politicians, and so on."

Harry pouted as the debate started drifting away from the original topic and into a more boring one according to him. As he was debating a way to steer the conversation back, Ron took to unknowingly end the entire thing. Letting out a loud belch as he patted his satisfied stomach, the entire table's attention went to the red headed boy.

"That's disgusting." Hermione wrinkled her nose in disgust.

"Sucks to say I'm used to it." Ginny told the older female with an eye roll.

The guys snickering at the girls plight was interrupted by furious whispering a couple tables from theirs. "But it's the Boy-Who-Won!"

"And? He comes here every Gryffindor-Slytherin weekend." The whispers companion grumbled.

"And? And! He's the Boy-Who-Won! Why didn't you tell me you got to see him."

"He's a Hogwarts student, how dense can you be?"

"Do you think he'll give me an autograph?" The whisperer seemed to be ignoring his companion now.

The group looked at each other and agreed it was a good time to leave. Ginny immediately took the lead and led them to her favorite clothing store in the small village. As the fiery red head was the only excited one the rest of the group just wandered until they were herded to the change rooms in order to give Ginny their opinions.

On the fifth dress Ginny tried on she finally asked that dreaded question, "Does this make my butt look fat?"

They shared a nervous look before staring at Harry, go sacrificial lamb.

"Normally," Harry gave his best friends sister a nervous smile, "I'd say something charming that would no doubt make you buy that dress; but that dress really does make your ass look big."

Ginny nodded thoughtfully, "I thought so too."

She walked back into the change room and the group breathed a sigh of relief that her famous bat boogie hex wasn't unleashed on them. Luckily, Ginny didn't drop any other potentially dangerous questions and the rest of the time in the store went by safely.

As soon as they left the store Hermione took point and swiftly lost them in her dust as she speed walked to the bookstore. The group arrived a few minutes after their bushy haired friend and meandered off to different sections. Harry just absently wondered, picking up anything that caught his attention.

106 Ways for Magic to Make Your Home Life Comfy, right next to Greta Catchlove's Charm Your Own Cheese . Harry raised his eye at the title and flipped through the book. He snickered, snorted, and outright laughed at some of the spells in the book. Really and truly, why would he need a spell to ring his own doorbell or to give his clothing life so they could pick what he should wear?

His flipping stopped and a devilish grin spread across his handsome face as he gazed at another odd spell. While its use was to cause you comfort without having to move, his prankster brain came up with another use for the eccentric spell. What could he do with a spell that vanished smelly socks at the end of a tiring day? Well, the muggles had a saying about charming people, and Harry was going to make that saying true in the literal sense.

"Harry!" Harry looked up and Neville waved at him from a couple aisles away. "It's time to head back."

"Be right there," he yelled back. He looked down at the page and made sure he had the spell memorized before closing the book and replacing it on the shelf. He didn't let on that he had anything planned as he gathered at the door with the others to wait for Hermione to pay for her books but Ron, Neville, and Hermione seemed to have a sixth sense when it came to Harry Potter. Neville eyed him nervously which tipped the others while Ron was strangely calm.

"I'm done." Hermione came up, sporting a huge smile.

"Great!" Ginny ushered them out. "I saw the Skeeter-bug a few minutes ago, so let's get outta here before she comes back with the rest of the swarm."

"Sounds like the best plan you've had all day, but I have thing I need to do first." Harry smiled charmingly and darted towards the Three Broomsticks. "Be right back."

"You better hurry!" Ron called after him.

Harry quickly found Rosemerta and scurried up to her side, smiling up at her with his most charming smile.

"Hey Rosemerta? There's a muggle saying that a girl says when a guy is really charming, or the other way, but girls say it more." Harry smiled when she rose an eyebrow. "It's 'He charmed the socks right off me'" He said in a false girly voice. Rosemerta gave him a look, wondering why he was telling her. Harry just flicked his wand at her with a bigger grin. Rosemerta blinked, wondering what the spell did. "I just charmed the socks off you." He jogged away with a Cheshire grin as she looked down at her feet amused. "See you next Hogsmeade weekend," he called to her as he left.

"What was that about?" Neville asked curiously when he rejoined the group.

"Hmm, oh, I just finally charmed the lovely Rosemerta."

"Really?" Dean burst out and started walking backwards in front of him. "How'd you do it?"

"It is a secret that will only be passed down to Potter's," Harry told him mock seriously. "So you're shit outta luck," he finished brightly.

Pops from the apparation area interrupted Dean's interrogation as the group took off at a run, Harry out of mind. They were followed by shouts as the reporters noticed their prey getting away and the group laughed as they piled into a carriage that took off before the swarm could even get a picture in.

"Ah, paparazzi, gotta love them." Harry lamented with a hand over his heart.

Ginny snorted.

Filch sneered at the group once again, this time for coming back, man just couldn't be happy.

"So what's the plan now?" Seamus asked once the passed through the court yard.

"Food." Ron's stomach growled to support his statement. The group laughed at the red head boy. "I'm a growing boy," he defended.

"You grow anymore, and you'll look like Hagrid without a beard." Dean told him unbelievingly.

"I don't think Hagrid would look good with Ron's hair." Seamus chipped in.

"I don't know, I can kinda see it, and I don't think it'd be that bad." Harry said, critically eyeing Ron.

Hermione and Ginny also turned analytical gazes to the red head.

"Yeah, if he kept his slimmer build, well, slim compared to Hagrid, and let his hair grow out, he wouldn't look bad at all."

Ron by this time was cherry red, "Can we just go?"

The other boys took pity on him, or maybe they, too, wanted to get away from the conversation on how good looking Ron could be, and agreed. Thus, the females had to follow unless they wanted to be left behind, damn males out numbering them and all.

Supper was a boisterous affair, full of laughter, arguments, and cat calls.

"Who's up for some exploding snap?" Dean enquired as they finished up their desert.

"Sorry mate, I have to start my crusade." Harry grinned unrepentant and bounced over to the Hufflepuff table.

The group shared a look, before deciding they didn't want to know, and left for their common room.

"Hi Susan!" Harry chirped.

"Hi Harry." The Hufflepuff girl smiled at the dark haired boy.

Harry waved his wand before moving onto the next girl he knew, "Hi Hannah!"

Meanwhile Susan looked herself over, wondering what Harry had done to her. Eventually, she reached her feet, and while making sure she didn't have talons or fur of some sort, discovered her missing socks. "Harry!" She screeched and glared down the table to where Harry was currently charming the fourth years. "Where are my socks!"

Harry grinned charmingly at her, "Why, I charmed them off of course."

As the other girls investigated and found their socks missing too, Harry made a bee line out of the great hall, after the Slytherin's that had left moments ago.

"Hey Parkinson!" He skipped past the bulldog like girl with a flick of his wand. "Yo Greengrass! That blue looks lovely on you." Another flick. "Bulstrode." Flick. He skipped through the entire group heading to their common before hightailing it around a corner. Just in time, as the female snakes dashed after him wanting to know where their socks where.

His next destination was his own common room, a perfect sanctuary against the angry snakes. "Wha'd you do this time Potter?" rang out as he slammed the door shut.

"Nothing!" Harry sounded perfectly appalled, even as muffled yells came from behind the closed door. "All I did was charm the lovely ladies."

The Gryffindor's seemed to take him at face value but left it alone.

"Those aren't the Hufflepuff's you were talking to at the end of dinner, are they?" Victora Frobisher, a Gryffindor who tried out for the keeper position two years ago, - and a shame she would put charms club before the game, he wouldn't have minded being able to gaze at her every practice - asked.

"No," Harry sighed. "I decided to hit up the Slytherin girls. They didn't want me." He sighed again. "Why does nobody appreciate me."

"Because you're insane." was deadpanned as his answer.

"Yeah?" Harry stuck his nose up in the air, "Insane enough to charm your socks off."

"Potter," Demelza Robins snorted. "The day you charm me is the day-" She broke off mid-sentence as Harry sent the charm her way and her socks vanished. "Well, I'll be damned."

Harry proceeded to charm the rest of the girls with a cheeky grin; confident in a quick escape should he need as the pounding on the entrance had long stopped. Luckily for him, this was his house, and they were all more then used to him. The house got a good laugh, though many had to ask why charming off girls socks had anything to do with charming in a non-magic way.

"Well, I must be off." Harry smoothed down his shirt. "Hogwarts is just full of girls and they are just waiting to be charmed."

"Good luck," Seamus grinned at him.

"Don't die," Ginny yelled from the stairs as she left to go get a pair of socks.

He hummed a tune as he wandered through the halls, charming any female he came across. After a chase from McGonagall he finally arrived at his destination, the Ravenclaw tower. A portrait of a joker stood guard. Harry was actually a little disturbed with the guy.

"What is it that a beggar has, that a rich man needs, and that the dead eat?" The jester cackled out like a deranged clown.

He stood there staring at the portrait, he didn't know the answer so he couldn't get in. Harry looked down when his feet suddenly felt different, and after pulling his pant leg up slightly, realized his socks were gone. He whipped his head up and around in time to see Luna Lovegood tucking her wand behind her ear with a dreamy smile. Harry gave the blond a wolfish grin. "Well I'll be. I believe you just charmed the socks off me Miss Lovegood."

For those who don't know, the "Charm Your Own Cheese" book, is an actual book in the Harry Potter series.

Also, I don't know what year Victoria Frobisher or Demelza Robins was in, so if they were above Harry, sorry.