Author's Note: This is in dedication to laura 101! Even if you like Star Trek more, LOL. Six part series of all the infamous (My favorite movies of all time.) Star Wars movies twisted and crossed over for Hellraiser, in it's own twists and characters! :)
Another Note: Hey y'all. Recently I went on YouTube and discovere a beautiful voice- her name is Christina Grimmie who covers songs on YouTube by the title of 'Me Singing...(for exmaple) E.T. by Katy Perry' on her piano and also has her own first album. Guys, she. Is. AMAZING. Think of it as the Gods and Goddess of Music had another star born. Honestly the way she covers some sonhs is even better than the artist themsleves! I promise you, if you check her out you will really like her! ;)
CAST
(For this Episode)
Elliot Spencer- Luke Skywalker
Terri/Dreamer- Princess Leia
JP Munroe/Pistonhead- Han Solo
Xipe Totec- Darth Vader
- Admiral Tarkin
Rick Atkins/Barbie- Chewbacca
Guardian Keeper- Obi-Wan Kenobi (Yes! XD)
Jimmy Hammerstein/CD Head- C-3PO and R2-D2
Random Nameless Cenobites- Stormtroopers
~Enjoy!~
A long time ago in a Labyrinth far far away...
HELL WARS: A NEW CENOBITE
The evil Labyrinth Empire has reigned terror across the galaxy for over nineteen years, and now are determined to end the spiritually determined Rebels once and for all with a recently built superweapon said to do untold destruction- THE DEATH STAR.
Emperor Leviathan has made certain order to his favored son and apprentice, Darth Xipe, to not let the Rebels grasp ahold of the minor construction secrets or else it would cause such a ruin to the prized weapon.
But now, Princess Terri races home onboard her ship to desperately reach her home planet, DreamWorld, with the stolen secret plans to the Death Star itself as Darth Xipe and his evil army of Ceno-Troopers restlessly pursue her as the fate of the galaxy rests in the young princess...
BOOM!
BANG!
And with all the special effect you'd normally find in the traditional super hero comics is the perfect way to describe the fierce ongoing battle between two ships in different size, giving an automatic judgement as to why may possibly wins. After all, the bad guys usually win the first one in every situation- do they not?
Onboard the small ship that seemingly doesn't stand a chance wasn't even built for these type of battle situations, giving an unfair advantage- something common- for the bad guys anyways. Green lasers firing against red lasers in a brightly manner enough to light it up in the dark sky of space and twinkling stars itself.
BAM!
Finally, the red lasers of the evil ship for the Empire of Leviathan make a hard blow to the Rebels ship, rocking them about as their speed began to slow in between the violent shakes it suffered.
"Aw shit. We're really screwed this time! Oh no! No! No! No no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no! I don't wanna die! I don't wanna! I don't wanna! I don't wanna!" the telepathic voice of someone entered through to nearby minds, voice in complete worry and over concern as he treied previously to make his way past the nameless Rebel members gathering about the entrance door where ships would usually board.
And this particular character you may ask? The former human of Jimmy Hammerstein, with five CDs lodged through his head and eyes wrapped from a leather strap as similarly clad in leather, was the CD Head Cenobite. Quite the jittery fellow indeed when his life was at risk, or when he was lead to believe in between hyperventilating in panic, crouched in a corner of panic.
But for once, our ex-servant to Leviathan was indeed correct. The ship belonging to the royalty of DreamWorld stoped dead in suddenly, receiving another direct hit from the opposing ship that had been restlessly pursuing them.
The reaction to our Rebels was rather errie and quiet, with those gathered by the door armed turned suddenly tense with wide eyed stares to the door, unsure of to predict next. There were omonious noises of rumbling and other such ruckuses but it otherwise became rather deathly quiet from what could be strained to hear from the other ship.
Leave it to CD to break the silence.
"I'M GONNA FUCKIN' DIE!" he screamed, wavijng his hands high as obnoxius electronic noises were made as he attempted to rush away as fast as he could.
"We're not gonna effin' die!" came a raspy response from an annoyed Rebel who seemed to know CD quite well- or rather his screams. In agreement came several nods and scowls, from those kind of Rebels with poles up their asses who roll their eyes at such immaturity. Turning their heads back to the door with big scowls on their faces, none had noticed until it was too late that the door had opened through suddenly, and with the added effects og mysterious, chilling smoke came through was a golden Box with it's own musical tune from a music box as it opened automatically and slowly on it's own.
The Rebels trembled, holding their breaths as they backed away slowly- without any weapons. Well who in the Hell- rather Leviathan in this case- goes to fight bad guys without weapons? Dear God no wonder the bad guys have been in the big top business for so long without a defeat. This is one of these kind of moments worthy of a beautiful face palms.
As the box finally stopped turning at a specific spot, the music turned to soft, creepy notes and then came a dark silence.
Wait for it...wait for it...wait for it...BAM! Chains came flying out and about everywhere, stabbing and piercing through the faces and other sorts of body parts of the Rebels. Ooh! Ouchies! That's bound to leave a good mark or two right about ther- oh. Wait. They're dead.
Suddenly, out immediately came a countless- fair to say about a dozen or so- Ceno-Troopers, the evil Cenobite working willingly for Leviathan and the Empire itself.
And in the meanwhile, whatever happened in curiosity to our panic-stricken friend, CD?
Ah yes, he had found himself running about the endless hallways and taking turns, unsure if they were wrong or not. Either or, the only true thought on his mind at the current moment were of involving getting the hell outta here and off this crazy ship.
"Rebel insurance comes with my own lawyer in case I have my own complaints right? Because OH BOY do I have my own bucket full of complaints don't I! Why I oughtta- GAH!" CD gasped as a pair of small, feminine hands grasped ahold of him, and yanked him suddenly to the nearby room he was about halfway from passing- the escape pod room in fact!
Trembling, he made a squeak and eep like a squirmy mouse unsure of courage itself.
"Don't rape me with chains!" he screamed automatically, covering his head and CDs in protection, since some of those lodged through his head were a collection of rare in novelty- some even autographed. Hey, gotta make a living off at some point on eBay?
"Ugh. No, you moron. In your dreams anyways would I do that. Now quiet!" hissed the voice of a sweet girl's voice, no older than about seventeen to nineteen in the age. CD relaxened to the sight, that despite being blind, had an ability to 'see' (It's a mind warp if I attempt to go into details for an explanation. INCEPTION.) a lovely, petite and slim girl hooded in a body hugging silk white dress, along with a hood worn on her face that covered a majority of her pale face. Though her doe brown eyes were seen well through the darkness itself, streaming straight to CD.
"Woah. Oh, sorry P-Princess Terri. What can I do?" he apologized as the hooded princess looked cautiously to the left and right of her and him, checking twice to make certain they were alone. Inappropriately, CD wondered if he was getting 'lucky' for a brief second as the princess then grasped ahold of something within her hand- a lovely golden box similar to the one that had been used by the door and a CD.
"Uh...is this some kind of a joke?" Jimmy skeptically asked, honestly unable to resist avoiding it at the sight as the princess opened her mouth to speak again and explain.
MEANWHILE
DUN DUN DUN!
Cue the evil themed music, of none other than the infamous chilling Imperial March. As the Ceno-Troopers moved out of their way to create a path for their leader, who entered rather majestically in an appearance of all clad leather black, seemingly fresh looking eternally bleeding wounds across a well toned body (Ugh for God's sake I better get on with it before I have spasm of fan-girl insanity) and a Darth Vader mask in a grid pattern, with pins meeting at the intersection.
This, behold Darth Xipe! The evil cruel Sith Lord Cenobite of Leviathan's Empire.
"Where are the plans?" his icy, English accented voice smoothly demanded even in impatient anger as the Ceno-Troopers gestured to there being no sign of it yet, as Darth Xipe curled his fists tightly together in anger, the place shaking a bit as well as growled lowly under his breath before sighing to calm himself.
"Find the plans! As well as the nieve princess herself! She cannot hide from my games for long, and there will be no escape! Am I CLEAR?" Darth Xipe ordered fiercely to the trembling, gulping Ceno-Troopers.
"Y- Yes sir." one stammered as they rushed off and about to find the princess and plans.
In which by the escape pod room they weren't far from, CD glanced to the escape pod, before quickly rushing off to one and shutting the door before the princess could take notice to him leaving her sight and simply escaping off in a cowardly manner without even asking kindly if she was going to stay and fight bravely or tag along.
"So...I'll just assume you're going to be stupid and suicidal by acting all heroically brave to fend off the bad guys while I just escape. Bye!" CD just said as he pushed the button for the pod to take off without a notice from the bad guys.
And before the princess, Princess Terri to be exact, could object as she rushed over quickly and banged on the window to cuss out the "Cenobot" the sound of rushing footsteps to the Ceno-Troopers caused our princess to jump and hurriedly hide herself.
It wasn't long before they rushed in immediately, searching about to see if they could find sight of the princess. In which at first they were unsuccessful, and some began to drop like flies in pale stricken fear they were so screwed by Darth Xipe.
Princess Terri in the meanwhile had hidden herself in a corner nearby, hand gripped tightly to her favored weapon of a cigarette (A habit she had of smoking), sneaking up carefully behind one Ceno-Troopers and burning them painfully right at the butt. Ooh! Another painful image to think of! But a costly one as well, for her giggle and the Ceno-Trooper's painful yelp as well caused attention from the others.
"Oh shit." the princess mouthed loudly, doe eyes widened as she attempted to burn another Ceno-Troopers before rushing hurriedly to get away, but instead one of the Ceno-Troopers fired what was called a 'Stun Chain' that when hit someone would knock them out- and hit Princess Terri right at the back, causing her to collapse unconscious.
"Woopee! We're not gonna get fired!" one Ceno-Trooper cheered in joy, jumping up and down happily while one grabbed ahold of this one to seize it from continually stopping.
"You moron! We don't have speaking lines!" the one who grabbed him hissed.
"You just spoke!" another accussed, pointing to the anrgy one.
"Well so did you!" another accussed to the one who accussed.
"You did too!"
"You just did too!"
"Shut up!"
"You talked!"
"Did not!"
"You're both talking!"
"You morons are gonna get us fired!"
"Well not like you're helping!"
As you can see from here...a pointless argument ensued, one which as they grew more infuriated and frustrated did they raise their voices loud enough for Darth Xipe to hear, whom groaned and rubbed his forehead in frustration for the morons he was stuck with.
MEANWHILE
On the escaped escape pod that had barely managed to escape the eyes of the watchful and deadly Ceno-Troopers on guard to make certain no one escaped the ship..
FLASHBACK
"I spy with my little eye something big..." one Ceno-Trooper trailed, obviously suspecting that this guard duty was nothing more than time to waste for a break while his comrad buddy took notice to the floating escape pod quite large and clearly passing by.
"The escape pod!" the second one replied, in which by the time the first one turned to see out the window what was clearly not he spot, the escape pod was out of view.
"No you idiot. It's that star right over there!" the first one groaned at the second one's stupidity, pointing to one of millions of countless stars.
"Where?"
"That one!"
"Where?"
"THAT one!"
"That one?"
"Where? Wait- what? NO!"
"Then which one?"
"OVER THERE YOU BLIND IDIOT!"
"I'm not blind! You're just stupid!"
A pointless slap fight then ensued by this.. obviously meaning I should probably stop this flashback before it gets out of hand.
FLASHBACK END (No really?)
CD trembled, fearful of Terri and all the others fates. Wondering if they were okay, safe, had escaped the bad guys on their own escape pods or even...died!
He gulped, paling a bit when he realized in his CDs he had WiFi connection and access to DVDs as well, and curiously began to scroll about the place- completely ignoring the ship and possible danger thoughts for the future to instead a little place called Netflix and a rather eye-catching movies in particular called none other than Hellraiser, Hellraiser 2: Hellbound, and Hellraiser 3: Hell on Earth.
"Pffuit! Wow these movies are stupid!" CD laughed in mock, barely breathing from laughing in disbelief of these movies, especially when he had strangely chosen the third one.
"Wow the club scene is so greatly effected. Swear, they could all win an Emmy hear. Geez! Wow, especially that rather handsome looking but stupid deejay! Psh! What a moron! HA! Way to stand there while CDs fly and get shoved thorugh your head idiot. Psh...what an idiot." CD laughed, waving a hand and gesturing to do something of rolling his eyes, at the morons of this movie he was watching.
Wait for it...wait for it...wait for it...now!
"WAIT A MINUTE!...Psh. Nah." he simply shrugged as the escape pod came to a nearby sandy planet filled with nothing but environment of desert.
To Be Continued...
So what have we here? GASP! Princess Terri has been captured by the evil Darth Xipe and CD has escaped with the plans she gave him.
Next Up: We will meet the aweomse soon-to-be hero Elliot! And the Guardian Keeper, Barbie, and what I'm looking forward to writing with perverteded, smartss humor yet charm- JP Munroe! XD.
Remember to review! Thanks!
