Summary: John tries to take Casey a bath…post-game. Slash. Karkat/John. Bluh. One-shot.

Notes: This is really fluffy. Like cotton candy.

"Casey."

"Bluh."

"Casey!"

"Bluh!"

"Gog dammit, Casey!" he growled friskily, trying to still Casey's wriggling legs. John Egbert was currently poised over the bathtub, Casey clinging to his shirt for dear life as he unsuccessfully tried to lower her into the tub. The salamander was absolutely filthy; dirt marks riddled the expanse of her scaly body, caused from playing outside in the mud, and the area around her mouth was stained red from the ketchup she had downed earlier. He still couldn't figure out why she liked ketchup so much, and it didn't make things better knowing she liked to drink it directly from the bottle— that was kind of gross, but no matter!

Like all good little salamanders, Casey needed a bath; however John was having a terribly difficult time coaxing Casey into the warm bathwater. He had even put bubbles in for her, scented bubbles! Who could resist bubbles? Apparently, Casey.

Sighing, John eased back from the tub and wrapped his arms around the quivering yellow body, patting Casey affectionately on the head. He cooed at her, whispering soothing words as she nuzzled into his chest, her feet still wriggling here and there. She "bluh'd" for a good minute or two, sending vibrations coursing along his chest. He didn't see why she was so adamant on not taking a bath. Weren't salamanders supposed to love the water anyway? Was something wrong with her? Had the time spent in Sburb somehow traumatized the poor thing? John rolled his eyes as a thought came to mind. Casey had spent a good amount of time with Rose; he supposed that accounted for something.

He stared down at the amphibian, frowning, buckteeth worrying at his bottom lip. Just seeing her like this, all huddled in on herself with her beady little eyes sealed shut, made his chest ache. Groaning, John stood up and hugged her snugly to him, leaning over the tub to turn the faucet off. He then headed out of the bathroom and traipsed down the hallway, all the while bouncing Casey up and down against his chest. He didn't particularly mind being stuck with a filthy little salamander all day, but it would have been nice to see her squeaky clean (for once). She was such an adventurous thing.

John clambered down the stairs and headed towards the kitchen, whistling under his breath. The house seemed sort of empty, despite the two new additions to his home. He had won everything else but the life of his father. He shook his head, willing the thoughts from his mind, his body aching as the realization dulled into something more like a dream. Maybe he could pretend that his dad was on some sort of vacation, the type of vacation that didn't allow the person to come back. Ever.

As John entered the kitchen, he was surprised to find Karkat leaning against the counter, his chin resting on his gray palm as he absentmindedly traced the rim of his cup with the tip of his yellowed claws. The troll was drinking water.

"You know we have Tang right?" John queried, flashing Karkat a bright (although somewhat forced) smile. The human pried Casey off his chest and sat her down on the counter, pressing a finger to her mouth when she started making frustrated little noises in her throat.

"What the fuck is that?" Karkat growled, still leaning on is palm, serrated teeth poking out his mouth.

"Uh, what?" John asked in confusion, staring at the alien as if he had grown two heads. He pointed at Casey. "You mean Casey? I think we already went over this, she's a salamander! Haha!"

Karkat's face deadpanned. "Fucking Jegus, Egbert. I didn't mean her, you raging nooklicker, I meant the Tang, or whatever the fuck you call it."

"Oh! It's juice! You drink it!" John giggled, holding Casey's legs still when she began to fidget. The look on Karkat's face was one of absolute horror.

"You drink it?" the troll asked bemusedly, claws gouging into the kitchen counter. "That orange liquid is a beverage? What the fuck. That's like drinking a pitcher full of Tavros, like fuck do I want to drink that."

John's mouth fell open. "I— ."

" —and what the hell is that red stuff on your shirt, are you bleeding? You humans are so pathetic, fucking leaking all over the place, I swear."

John looked down at his shirt, which was more or less smeared with ketchup stains. He narrowed his eyes at Casey, shaking a finger at her. She blew a bubble at him.

Again, to Karkat's sheer horror, John smeared his finger against the ketchup on his shirt and brought it to his mouth, licking it clean off his finger. He beamed the Cancer a smile, licking his lips.

"It's called ketchup," John laughed. Turning away from Karkat, who was now sporting a faint red tint to his cheeks, John licked his finger again and rubbed off the remnants of ketchup from Casey's mouth, earning an indignant squawk from said salamander. He didn't even mind when Karkat chucked his cup at him.

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