PLEASE READ AND REVIEW!

Hi guys! This is my first Mass Effect fic! I'm excited about it and I hope you enjoy reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it :) Tell me what you think!

PS. If you're looking for the smut (which I admit to doing from time to time haha) it's in the last section of the fic ;)

Anxiety wasn't a feeling that Garrus was particularly familiar with. His Spectre candidacy and the years of C-Sec training had nearly extinguished his ability to feel nerves at all. Composure in the face of impossible odds was his deadliest weapon, and quite possibly the most Turian trait he possessed. He prized it, cherished it, and got extremely pissed off when something caused it to falter.

How had she done it? How had Shepard managed to find the one crack in his otherwise unshakable foundation? The world had hardened him since their last meeting and it was getting more and more difficult for Garrus to see things in black and white. Grey confused him, made him angry. Justice shouldn't be grey. Black and White, his training had taught him, Good and Evil.

Sidonis had been Black, the sort of infinite blackness Garrus associated with uncharted space. A wormhole. Or, at least, that's what he had thought. But crouching there on Omega, Sidonis's head in the crosshairs of his scope, Garrus had faltered. Not for Sidonis's sake, he could care less about that son-of-a-bitch, but for his own. Killing Sidonis would avenge his fallen squad mates but where would that put him? Even as the shot entered Sidonis's brain, Garrus hadn't fully decided. Revenge was grey.

Omega had left him drained. He needed time to think about things, to refortify his walls, but Shepard hadn't allowed it. She had cornered him in the Main Battery, all innuendos and less than subtle suggestions, and with little effort had rattled everything he was made of. Had she smelled his vulnerability and knew he couldn't refuse her? For the first time in a long time, with her cool eyes smirking seductively at him, Garrus had felt a distinctive sting of fear.

That fear still pulsed through him every time she showed up at his door, something she was doing with increasing frequency. It was irritating at best. Garrus wasn't used to his emotions ruling him; it made him feel weak and human. For years he had worked to rid himself of "inconvenient" impulses, now he couldn't get away from them. She brought knots to his stomach with the slightest glance, nervous balls of fear ready to burst if he wasn't careful. Turian woman never had such an effect on him.

He had managed to dodge the issue for weeks but she was persistent. Soon suggestion gave way to frank, point blank questions. Garrus felt trapped between a meteorite and a hard place. You could dance around double entendres, but when somebody came right out and asked "Do you want to have sex?" you were somewhat obligated to give them a straight answer.

Garrus had agreed to her plan initially out of curiosity. He didn't really harbor any fetishes for humans, generally he never gave them a second look, but there was something different about Shepard. Maybe it was her fuck-with-me-and-die attitude he found attractive, or her expertise at Krogan head butting. He wasn't sure, but the thought of her writhing beneath him was something Garrus had entertained for some time, usually in the dead of night and with the help of lubrication. Lately, however, she was becoming less of the proverbial "notch in the bedpost" and more an object of his sincere admiration. The things she had accomplished were impressive regardless of race or gender and he respected her immensely for it. If he was really going to go through with what she wanted then he was going to make sure Shepard knew she was more than a conquest. She had to be. Garrus didn't think he could take any more disappointment.

When the hell did I become so liberal? If his father could see him now he'd most certainly have a heart attack. Garrus had always been a horrible example of a Turian, but this was pressing boundaries even for the most relaxed members of his species. Humans were the "forbidden fruit"…you looked and lusted but didn't touch. You weren't supposed to want to touch. But he did…badly. The idea of Shepard's soft, malleable body wriggling underneath his touch, of her supple curves contrasting his own harsh lines and angles, was unbearably erotic.

More than that though, Garrus longed to break though the wall she had built around herself. Shepard had burst through his, maybe without fully realizing what she had done, and now he wanted his turn. He wanted to look into her eyes and see all the things she buried within herself. Now that she had unlocked in him those emotions long since discarded, he needed to know he wasn't alone and he wanted Shepard to prove it to him. Garrus wanted to see that behind the hash military façade she was just like him, vulnerable.

Shepard hadn't really meant for things to go so far.

It had started out innocent enough. She had gone down to the Main Battery to check up on Garrus after what had happened on Omega, just as she would have any other squad mate. Predictably, he had been moody. All she had meant to do was try and get him to loosen up, to forget about Sidonis and focus on something else. She could have picked anything to talk about; weapons upgrades, designing a new Mako, stamps…nope, not good enough. Not for Shepard, defender of the galaxy, taker of risks, and now, apparently, sexual deviant!

She was a terrible commander.

How had sex seemed like the right answer? Moreover, why hadn't her brain alerted her to the fact that she was stepping into embarrassing, and potentially dangerous, territory? She wasn't even sure humans and Turians were able to have intercourse. Their physiologies were so different, what if the pieces didn't go together? Or what if she was allergic to him, or him her? She remembered reading somewhere that that could occur. And what about the tension that still existed between their species? There was no way in hell that a human-fucking Turian would ever be taken seriously by his race again…

Yet Garrus hadn't tried to stop her. He hadn't even put up a fight, nor was he in any apparent hurry to back out of their agreement. Surely Shepard wasn't the only one to dream up all the ramifications of them sleeping together. He knew the risks and he didn't care. And the more Shepard honestly thought about it, the more she realized she really didn't either. Once the initial shock had worn off, Shepard found herself actually enjoying the idea of a night with Garrus. It had been a rash and stupid thing to suggest and it could have severely damaged their friendship, but since it hadn't what was stopping her from actually wanting it? She trusted Garrus probably more than anyone else she knew. It was perfectly logical for them to be attracted to each other.

Logical…listen to yourself, Emma. This isn't tactical planning. Shepard pushed her hair out of her eyes and tried to regain focus. She had been trapped in her head long enough for one day, there was a ship to run. She and Yeoman Chambers had commandeered a table in the Mess Hall and had been sifting through paperwork all morning. Or rather Kelly had been sifting through papers while Shepard overanalyzed the past week of her life like an oversexed schoolgirl. Disgusted with herself, Shepard pulled a pile of datapads towards her. There were dozens of messages in her terminal to go through and at least twenty possible ship upgrades to sort out; she didn't have time for hormonal distractions.

"I still have diagnostics to finish but I'm pretty sure the problem is with our first cannon."

The low rumble of Garrus's voice caught her ear. He and a crewmember from engineering were passing through the Mess Hall on their way to the Battery, evidently to sort out some technical problem. Their eyes met and Garrus nodded, the Turian equivalent of a smile on his lips. Shepard's heart skipped a beat and her cheeks reddened before she had a chance to ready herself. She buried her head in a datapad until he was out of sight. Damn it, this is ridiculous. So you're going to faint every time he's around? What kind of a commander are you?

"Oh right," she mumbled, "a terrible one."

"Excuse me, Commander? Did you say something?" Chambers asked eagerly. Her big watery eyes smiled at Shepard from across the table. They made her uncomfortable.

"Nothing, Kelly. Just talking to myself." Shepard forced a smile. Kelly wasn't appeased.

"Do you need something? Someone? I could get it for you."

"No, really its—"

"It's what I'm here for Commander, it would be no trouble at all!"

"I know, I just—"

"A drink maybe? Something to eat?" Kelly was standing now, her excitement to please causing her to bounce on the balls of her feet.

Shepard stared at Kelly in exasperation. Her apparently endless supply of energy and dedication irritated Shepard to no end. She was like an overbearing Chihuahua, yappy and oblivious to the nuisance she was. But it was better to give her a task to complete than watch her sulk for hours.

"Fine," Shepard sighed under her breath. Kelly's eyes widened expectantly. "Um, tell EDI to reroute a course to Virmire. And then…here, take these files to Mordin. I'm done with them."

She handed a very satisfied Chambers a pile of datapads and watched her skip off.

Shepard slumped back in her seat and surveyed the mountain of work still in front of her. Her head ached dully at the thought of tackling more of it, or any of it now that Chambers wasn't around to do it for her. I could take a break and go to the Battery…I wonder if Garrus needs help—No, damn it, Emma, stop it! Shepard frowned and started violently scrolling through the files on the datapad. She wouldn't think about Garrus, she would do her job and be professional and not imagine how his rough body would feel against her skin, or the sensation of his talons scrapping her breasts, or his hardened length poised and ready to enter her…

Ok, that didn't work, Shepard thought with a sigh. She shifted in her seat. A dull, moist pressure was building between her thighs, hot and uncomfortable. Leaning back, Shepard crossed and uncrossed her legs. Her sex throbbed mockingly, it wouldn't be ignored so easy. A brief image of Garrus buried between her legs flashed through her mind. Her pulse jumped, Shepard closed her eyes. The Garrus in her mind thrust his tongue in and out of her rapidly.

The Mess Hall was much too hot for her now. Shepard felt beads of sweat sprouting on her forehead. She wiped them away with a shaking hand. Perhaps a nap would be a better idea…or an extremely cold shower.

Or an hour to myself.

Gathering up the remaining datapads, Shepard headed for the elevator. Whatever happened with Garrus, she hoped their night together would put an end to the…distractions.

Something told her it wouldn't.

Garrus felt extremely silly. Mordin had given him several vids to study in preparation for the "big night", but try as he might he just couldn't commit himself to watching them. They were too clinical. Not that he would have been more comfortable with something totally graphic, but they had the same flavor as some Elcor porn he had seen once. Watching the way-too-serious actors scientifically pick apart the act for him somehow made the thing feel incredibly dirty. In the end, Garrus decided that floundering around on top of her for a while would be less awkward than having to sit through another moment of "Interspecies Intercourse: A Step By Step Guide".

With the abandonment of the vids, Garrus found himself entering battle completely blind. The only women he had ever been with were Turian. He was used to hard, strong, angular bodies. Part of him was terrified of crushing the life out of Shepard or accidentally stabbing her with a talon, things he never before had to think about. But she was so damn soft…it seemed almost impossible not to hurt her.

Why did she want to do this? He might kill her at any point in the evening, was this not a turnoff for her?

An exciting thought shot through Garrus. Maybe it wasn't a turnoff…maybe Shepard liked the element of danger he presented. It wouldn't really be out of character for her. She was a bit of a glutton for punishment, always rushing into one catastrophe or another, maybe she was the same way in the bedroom. He smiled to himself. Well, if rough was what she wanted he could certainly provide. Turian sex was rarely gentle. His species was known for intercourse related injuries, sometimes deaths. Garrus would make sure to hold back just a little bit. Nothing would kill the mood more than Shepard being smothered…or stabbed.

While the idea of crazy, Turian-esque sex with a human was severely peaking his interest, all Garrus really wanted was a chance to tell Shepard how he felt. He needed her to know that he was in it for the long haul before anything physical could happen between them. Give him that, and he'd throw her against as many walls as she wanted.

Shepard pressed a button and the searing spray of the shower died. She stepped out onto the bathmat, steam billowing around her naked body, and gave her hair a shake. With one hand she wiped condensation from the mirror and surveyed herself. Her skin was still flushed from the hot water. Shepard frowned. What would Garrus think of her? By Turian standards she was probably hideous, deformed even. Do Turian women even have breasts? Shepard cupped her own in her hands and turned to the side. She flattened them and then made a face. No good.

"This is either going to be a disaster, or the best night of your life," she said to her reflection.

Grabbing a towel, she headed into the bedroom.

Shepard had to stifle a startled yelp when the door slid back to reveal Garrus. He was standing with his back to her, looking at the fish swimming around in their tank, a bottle clutched in one taloned hand. Shepard glanced at the clock on her desk. He was early, almost twenty minutes so. She smirked and tightened the towel around herself.

"I'm afraid you caught me at a bad time, Mr. Vakarian," Shepard said softly.

Garrus turned. His eyes roamed her nearly naked form before landing on her face.

"I was in the neighborhood," he joked. He held up the bottle, "I brought wine."

Shepard smiled and leaned against the wall. Garrus shifted uncomfortably.

"That's a nice—um—towel," he said, awkwardly attempting a compliment. "Is it new? You're hair looks good too. I was going to bring chocolates, I read on the extranet that you're supposed to love them, but I didn't know how I'd react to them. And since you're going to be…you know…I thought we shouldn't risk any unnecessary trips to the Med-Bay."

"Very wise," Shepard hummed, taking several steps forward. She took the bottle of wine from him and put it on the coffee table. "Are you nervous?"

"Terrified," Garrus breathed. She was so damned close now he could feel the heat radiating off her body.

"Me too."

He almost didn't believe her. Commander Shepard, galactic hero, afraid of something as incidental as sex? But as she lifted her hand to his face Garrus heard the pounding of her blood underneath the soft pale skin. There was no mistaking that sound; he had heard it thousands of times in battle. She was scared. Nervously, Shepard's fingers trailed their way over his mandibles. Garrus's nostrils flared, burning with the potency of the pheromones she was giving off. It was almost enough to knock a Reaper out cold.

Keeping her eyes fixed firmly on his, Shepard let her towel fall to the floor with a soft thoomp. The cold air of the bedroom instantly brought goose bumps to her skin. Her nipples hardened painfully. Garrus took all of her in. Her pale skin, the supple curves of her hips and breasts, they excited him more than he expected. His plates shifted. Garrus raised a hand to her shoulder and drew a talon down the length of her arm. She grabbed his wrist and placed his palm over her right breast. It was soft and doughy. Garrus kneaded it gently and Shepard closed her eyes.

"I don't really know what to do…" he admitted.

"Kiss me there," Shepard whispered.

Pulling her to him so their bodies were flush, Garrus bent and took the tight pink nipple into his mouth. He traced circles around it with the tip of his tongue and flicked the hardened mound rapidly. Shepard moaned. His plates moved more violently. Very gently, he bit down on her. Her breathing hitched and then accelerated. Shepard ground against him. Her nails found a soft patch in his plating and sank in. He grunted and pushed her against the glass of the fish tank. Shepard's mouth found one of his mandibles. She had clearly done her homework much better than he had. Turian mandibles were enormously sensitive. With a final uncomfortable shift, Garrus's erection bulged in his pants.

Shepard's hand was suddenly around him. Her grip was hard, almost as firm as he was with himself, and Garrus heard himself growl throatily. Not nervous anymore, Shepard? And she wasn't, not with her entire being burning for him. Shepard snaked her way out of his grip and knelt before him. He watched her, confused, almost afraid of what would come next. Was she going to bite him? Surely that wasn't acceptable no matter what race you were. He braced himself for the worst.

Very slowly, Shepard pushed her hot mouth over his tip. Her tongue swirled around him and Garrus shuttered. She gripped the base of his length with one hand and worked him deeper and deeper into her mouth. Garrus grabbed the back of her head and thrust into her. Shepard gurgled inaudibly. Her teeth scraped against him on accident and Garrus nearly flew over the edge. He pulled away from her and brought her to her feet all in one swift motion.

"Shepard, wait," he panted. "I have something to tell you."

"Call me Emma," she said, pushing him toward the sofa.

Emma? That's pretty, he thought as he collapsed on the seat. She started tugging off his clothes. His pants slipped from his hips and his erection burst free. Shepard's eyes bulged, surprised by the sheer size of him. Garrus had a quick moment of pride before remembering what he had been trying to say.

"Emma, I know how this started but I don't know if that's how it should end." Her hands were on him again, pumping hard. His mind swam. "What I mean is…I can't just let this be a one night thing. I –oh spirits!"

Shepard straddled him. His length slipped between her soaking wet folds. Garrus wasn't sure he was going to make it.

Pull yourself together!

"Shepard, stop," Garrus grabbed her around the waist to stop her moving. They stared at each other for a long moment. When he spoke next it was soft, almost a purr. "I need this to go right, Emma, please. I need to know you want this too."

Shepard bent and kissed him gently, a human kiss. He liked the feel of her lips on his.

"Of course I want this, Garrus," she whispered. "I'm scared as hell, but I want this." Garrus couldn't help the laugh that escaped him. Shepard frowned. "What?"

"Nothing, you're just very good at hiding your terror," Garrus said, eyes glittering. Shepard smiled and nibbled his mandible again. His shaft jumped against her inner thigh. Garrus growled huskily. "Very good. Shep—Emma, you should really stop that."

Still working her lips across his mandibles, Shepard's fingers found the sensitive nub of nerves hidden under his fringe. She massaged it roughly. Garrus hissed. If she kept at him like this he didn't know if he would be able to keep his strength in check. Shepard rolled the sensitive ball between her fingers and Garrus thrust against her, missing her core but still slipped easily through her wetness. His talons dug into her sides painfully. Shepard gasped. She gave a jolt and Garrus's penis slid against her again. He couldn't take much more of this but he wasn't ready to end it just yet. He wanted his chance to make her scream. In one easy motion, Garrus flipped her onto her back. He held her arms still and dragged his teeth down her neck and across the stiff peaks of her nipples. Shepard ached into him, savoring the scrap of his scales and the moist pressure of his tongue on her skin.

The smell of her musk intoxicated him. It was earthy and rich and unbearably, erotically human. He released one of her arms, proudly observing the red mark he had left on her delicate pink flesh, and reached down between her squirming legs. Shepard's breath caught in her throat.

"Garrus, yes, please…oh, Spirits…"

He let a talon slip between her. She was unbelievably wet. Turian women were never so obliging. It was all heat and friction with them. Garrus imagined it would be like slipping into a warm bath with Shepard…once he decided to stop teasing her.

Shepard watching him, Garrus lifted his hand to his mouth and licked her juices away. She was salty and warm. He slid down and placed his head before the wispy tuft of hair between her legs. What he was about to do he'd never done before. Oral intercourse was not something his species engaged in, mostly because they were afraid of having something ripped off and/or internally demolished. But Garrus was determined to give it a whirl. Carefully, he spread her folds to expose the rosy insides of her hidden self. Tilting his head so his mandibles wouldn't be in the way, Garrus flicked his tongue across her. He was unsure of the spot he was supposed to be looking for.

Shepard could sense his unease. She knew it was new for him and rather daunting. She placed her hands on top of his head and guided him to the spot. Garrus's tongue poked around clumsily until he found the cluster of nerves.

"There, right the—oh, ooh!"

He suckled harder, swirling his tongue around the sensitive area. Shepard's hips bucked wildly and he clamped down on her thighs to steady her. With a wet smack, Garrus detached himself. He knew she was close to finishing. He sought her center with a talon and found it. His finger plunged inside her and Shepard cried out. She grasped at the edge of the couch. He thrust in and out of her, relishing her moans and caressing his painfully throbbing erection with his other hand.

"Please," Shepard mewed, thrashing her head from side to side. "Garrus."

His mouth clamped down on her clit again and stars burst in front of Shepard's eyes. She screamed out a slew of curses, some not even in her language, and rode out her orgasm with spasmodic jerks and twists. Garrus watched her violent climax with wonder that bordered on fear. Was she having a reaction to him?

Shepard fell to shuddering on the sofa. She was sweaty and very tired but otherwise unharmed. She glanced up at the apprehensive look on Garrus's face and laughed a little.

"Who needs vids, right?" she joked. Garrus relaxed and crawled his way back up the length of her body. "But what about you?"

"Oh, we're not done."

Relieved he hadn't killed her, Garrus picked Shepard up and tossed her gently down onto the bed. He hovered over her a moment, pumping his glorious length and watching her eyes hungrily take him in. Then he nudged her thighs open with his knee and placed the tip of his shaft at her still soaking opening. It quivered there with anticipation.

"This might hurt," he purred into her ear. Shepard's hands grasped the plated muscles of his arms.

Slowly, he pushed into her, grunting loudly. Shepard squeaked in pain and dug her fingernails into his unyielding scales. He gave her a moment to adjust to his girth before making her take all of him inside.

Garrus was trying very hard not to explode. She was wonderfully hot and tight and wet, so wet! He couldn't help himself. He wanted to be gentle with her but if he wasted any more time he might lose his mind entirely.

"I'm sorry, I can't…" His gurgled apology was lost under Shepard's mixed cries of pain and pleasure.

Taking a leg under each of his arms, Garrus pounded into her mercilessly, rapidly. He slammed her down over his pulsing dick with incredible force. Shepard screamed, climaxing again, her juices spilling over him and onto the bed sheets. Garrus turned her around and took her from behind, talons sinking into her shoulders for leverage. Two crimson lines of blood slid down the smooth ivory of Shepard's back. Garrus thrust harder, deeper. He could feel his end nearing, could hear the rushing in his ears marking his climax.

"Emma, I'm—I'm. Shit!"

Garrus pulled out of her and spilled his seed onto the bedclothes. His whole body shook and his vision was strangely blurred. His dick pulsed appreciatively, unaware that an orgasm could feel so good. Humans, who knew? He thought vaguely. Guess Dad was wrong…

Garrus crouched above her for a long moment, shaky and weak. Beneath him, Shepard lie face down on the bed panting heavily. He collapsed next to her.

They didn't speak for a long time. They didn't know what to say. Shepard pressed herself against him and he took her in his arms. Garrus attempted to place a human kiss on top of her head but got his mandibles caught in her hair. Shepard laughed. The next moment though she had fallen silent, contemplative.

"Are you sure about this?" Shepard asked slowly, speaking into the crook of his neck. "Are you sure you want me?"

"I could ask you the same thing," he murmured. His chest vibrated against hers.

"I do…I always have."

Garrus felt something hot spring to his eyes. He swallowed the tears that threatened to reveal themselves. He'd already broken enough Turian laws for one evening, he'd save crying like a bitch for a later date.

He pulled a clean sheet over them and pressed her to his chest. She nestled close, indifferent to the cool inflexibility of his body. They lay listening to the soft bubbling of the fish tank, basking in their post coital glow. Garrus heard her breathing slow to a steady rhythm. She had fallen asleep. He smiled to himself and tried to think back to the last time a woman had fallen asleep in his arms. He couldn't pinpoint one. But that was a Turian…strictly hands off if they weren't killing or fucking something. Garrus thought he could get used to this, this human type of love. His soul needed it.

Needed her.