A/N: I'm guessing the ending is going to be no surprise. I cut some yelling parts out though. I didn't wanna repeat all that.

This song, in my opinion, sums up everything and is totally perfect. If you wanna listen please do, but if you would anyway, just read the lyrics.

Disclaimer: I do not own the Outsiders nor the song Dance with the Devil by Breaking Benjamin.

June 17, 1967

Here I stand, helpless and left for dead. Close your eyes, so many days go by. Easy to find what's wrong, harder to find what's right.

It's so heavy. So fucking heavy.

How can someone carry this around? How can someone use it? It melts in my own hands. It makes the sweat run off my forehead and my heart stop. No one can work this thing the right way. Just...no.

I slip it under a few clothes so it's unseen. This is the important part. That, I was taught.

I crawl back over to the bed where Jake's snoring. I wrap my arms around his tiny body and pull him into my chest to where he just lies there and I shield him with my arms letting him know that I'm here and I'm not leaving. This is all for him.

For him.

"Ang." Tim knocks on my door. "We're gettin' ready to leave."

"Alright," I say. "I'll be there in a minute."

"Still mad at me?"

I take in a breath of air, and gently loosen my grip. "What'd you fucking do?"

He smirks. "Gotta be more specific that that darlin'."

I stare up. "Tim I know you did something. I know you and...Jeff, meet up after I was in the hospital. Don't fucking lie to me either this time."

He gets a sly look on his face and leans against the door frame. "'Fraid I don't know what you're talkin' 'bout sweetheart. Ain't seen Jeff since-"

"Cut the shit."

"What'd you say?" he asks. "You don't know shit Angela. Come on let's-"

"Shut the fuck up." I stand, jolting the bed. "Don't treat me like I'm a clueless dumbass. I know what's going on here Tim. I know what you're doing here and it's my mess. My fucking mess so tell me what the fuck you're doing!"

Jake wakes up. He's crying and screaming.

Tim huffs and cusses as he goes to pick him up, complaining about how loud I am and how I'm overreacting. I don't know when or how to shut-up.

"What'd you do to him?" I shout.

His face is red. He bounces Jake on his hip knowing he won't do anything as long as he's in his arms. "Why do you care? Just shut the fuck up this doesn't-"

"It concerns me!" I finish for him. "This is my battle. Let me fight it!"

"NO!"

"I fucking begged you Tim! Why didn't you listen to me?"

"I didn't do anything!"

My eyes start to water. I shouldn't be fighting this. I should be finding Jeff. I should be fighting with him, letting him know how I feel and take a fucking bullet to his head. I shouldn't have my bag packed right behind me.

Cowards run.

"God, cut the fucking water works will ya?"

I swipe them away quickly. "I'm not crying, dumbass. I just want you to leave it the hell alone. Leave me alone!"

He tries to calm Jake down when he's really calming himself. "You fucking did this." He points a finger. "I'm just cleaning it up."

"And who asked you to?"

He cusses again under his breath. He wants to hit me. If he wasn't holding that damn baby he would. He'd shut me up like Jeff did. He's been doing it for years. How is Jeff any different than him? Because I'm his sister?

"We gotta go," he speaks through gritted teeth. "Get your shit and get in the car."

He leaves, taking my child in his arms and running.

I take a good long look at the big brown bag sitting behind my bed. Cowards run. They always do.

I believe in you, I can show you that I can see right through all your empty lies. I won't stay long, in this world so wrong.

The preacher needs to shave. Maybe bathe too. What a fucking idiot he must be. Standing up there like a dumbass going on and on about love when his whore of a wife over there has fucked half the town...twice.

We're all liars though aren't we? I love you - most told lie in America. We say it all the time. Not that hard. Three words.

It's a mask we put on to hide the truth just screaming for air. We learn at a young age to silence that though. We tighten the mask and speak. We let the truth die.

We're all liars getting ready to burn in hell. We lie about how we feel, about each other, even to ourselves. We tell ourselves lies to cover up the truth; we tell people we love pure bull shit to save a fight. To save the whole freaking relationship. We think it's for the best.

We're just going to burn in the end.

We're all liars. We're all human. It's our nature.

"You're such a dick, you know that?" I ask him, shoving him in the back. "Everyone sees it; it's just that they're too damn scared to say it to your face! Even Curly's said it before but he's too much of a baby to tell you where to go!"

Everyone's inside, laughing it up and cheating on their diets because it's a wedding. They're here to have fun. They're going to drink until they fall dead.

They're going to live it up tonight. No cares.

"Oh is that right?" he yells, turning around. "Everyone thinks I'm a dick huh? What about you? You've seen more guys' dicks than Sylvia has! You don't think people talk about how much of a whore you are? Just leave me alone, alright?"

"You think I care what some losers think about me?" I scream. "I had a kid when I was sixteen, Tim. I think people already know"

"Yeah, you had a fucking kid with God knows who!" He waves a finger in my face. "There's something to brag about."

"I know who the father is, you ass!" My own screams ring my ears. "Who are you to talk anyway? I hear stuff too, Tim. You think I don't know what you do at Buck's? You ain't such a saint yourself."

He sneers at me. "Least I ain't got a kid."

I take a lung. He stops me and clenches my wrists together. He raises one hand but remembers and pulls it back down. His eyes widening and everything around him has stopped and he's just thinking about it, running it through his mind again and taking one good strong look at me.

He fucking remembers.

I jerk. "Fuck you."

He shakes me in attempt to bring me back down. He's not going be who he should be right now. We both know that. "What you gonna do kid? Do it! Hit me!"

I pull out of his grasp and rub my wrists where he squeezed. "Don't you dare say anything about my baby."

He shakes his head. "'Cause you're such a great mom, right? You bring around some fucking rat you meet while getting high and introduce him to your kid. You come home drunk as fuck and high off your horse, and that's if you even come home at all! That's what I call a good mother!"

"You shut your damn mouth!" Spit forms in the corners of my mouth. "I'm a good mother!"

"Right."

I take in a breath of air. My throat hurts from screaming and my ears are ringing. This shouldn't be happening. I have more things to worry about. He shouldn't be picking this with me. He should be letting me handle this. Me.

"Where's the kid anyway?" he grumbles.

I rub my head. "Danni's got him."

"Danni?

I shake my head. "Yes Tim. The Danni who you used to stick your penis in her mouth. That'd be her."

"I didn't use no one," he snaps. "In fact, your little friend came running to me not too long ago."

"What?"

Say goodbye, as we dance with the devil tonight. Don't you dare look at him in the eye, as we dance with the devil tonight.

"I can't believe you," I start in, drawing her attention back to me. "How could you do that?"

She turns back around and stares, worry all over her face. "What are you talking about?"

"Don't play the dumb act with me," I bark, wagging a finger in her face. "How could you do that to him again? He's my brother Danni! Did you even plan to tell me about it or were you just going to let it go like it was nothing?"

People are starting to look at us, making Danni even more nervous. I don't care how many people cop stares at us. I don't care what they think about us. I just don't care.

She rolls her eyes and grabs my arm, squeezing it tightly as she leads me into a more private place. Danni doesn't like people to judge her. She doesn't like stares and whispers of losers talking about her.

Danni needs to grow up.

"Angela, it wasn't a big deal. I-"

"Not a big deal?" Jake begins to whimper as my voice gets louder. "You can just do that and it not be a big deal? I thought you were done doing that."

She huffs and grabs the baby from me. "I am done with it. If you would just let me talk, I could have told you that."

I roll my eyes and folded my arms over my chest.

I've heard this story before. She's retold his story countless times. It wasn't what I thought. She doesn't care about Tim. It was nothing. All the same words I've heard since that night. That night she drove that knife in. She didn't care. She still doesn't.

"It was one time. I don't even know why I did it but I did. Call me crazy, but I made a mistake. Can you get off my case now?"

I take in a breath of air and turn my attention elsewhere. She deserves more, but she isn't who I'm mad at. "Tim is just pissing me off. I can't even stand to be near him anymore."

She sighs. I know she's heard this; she's going to hear it again. Maybe this time she'll understand. She just needs to understand this time.

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have snapped like that," she apologizes. "What's going on this time, besides the fact that he told you what we did?"

I spin back around and look at her. "He treats me like shit, Danni!"

She inwardly sighs.

I ignore her and continue my rant. "Ever since I had the kid, he treats me like the family whore. Like I'm a failure or a disgrace or something. I can't take it anymore. I need out."

"Ang, he loves ya all right, it's just-"

"No!" I try to hold back the tears that are ready to fall. "He hates me, Danni. You know it as well as I do. He won't even look at me anymore."

She sighs again and continues to look at the baby. "Ang, I just think-"

"Just watch him," I say as I hand her the dipper bag. "I have to…I got to do somethin', okay?"

I run my hand through my hair and run. I run one last time. I need out. I need everything to be fixed. I need people to hear me. I need someone just to listen.

"Ang!"

I keep walking

"Angela, wait!"

This is my battle. My problem to fix and I'll do it on my own.

Trembling, crawling across my skin. Feeling your cold dead eyes, stealing the life of mine.

It's cold. My heart won't stop. My hands are sweating and I think my bones are shaking. This has to stop. This day needs to be over already. This party needs to be fucking over. I need out of here.

I need a fucking beer.

"Angela."

"What?"

"You seen Tim?" He takes a drag from his stick. "He was running around here a minute ago. Lost him."

I take the smoking stick from his mouth and take a long drag of my own, sighing once I'm done. "He's pissed at me. No telling where he ran off to."

"He just-"

I put a hand up. "Don't make excuses for him." I fold my arms over my chest. "Once this day is over it won't matter much anyway."

"Why?"

I don't answer for a while. Curly's just a lap dog. He's going to tell Tim either way. He always does. "I'm getting my shit and getting out."

His eyes pop open. "Why? Where? God fuck Ang-"

"I can't take it anymore. I can't take Tulsa." I steal his stick again and finish it off. "I need a fresh start somewhere. Figure California? Go to the beach maybe. Always wanted to see the ocean."

His mouth is slightly open. "Bullshit."

"Whatever Curly. I'm leaving. Like it or not, today is the last day you'll see me so you better take a good long look and say goodbye."

I hand his cigarette back and walk away.

Today is the last day. The last day I'm putting up with this trashy hole in the wall town. I'm getting out. I'm running this time. It's been too long I haven't.

I'm running until I can't anymore.

"I figured you'd be in here."

He turns around, the whisky bottle he's holding slightly spilling. "What?"

I take a few small steps forward. "That all I get? Wow. Shocker."

He rolls his eyes and turns back around, continuing to drink. "Get out of here Ang. Ain't in the mood to deal with your shit."

"Just came to say good bye." I walk forward. "Figured I'd tell you before I head off. Maybe thank you? I don't know, for all the shit we've been through. Great times, huh?"

His head rotates over his shoulder, his face disgusted. "Fuck off."

"Make me."

"I hate you! I fucking hate you Tim. You don't understand. You have never fucking understood anything about me! I hate you!"

"You don't get anything Angela. You just don't."

My throat hurts. He won't stop yelling. He just won't. I need to run now. I need to get out and never look back. I need to leave this town. I need shut-up now and run.

I don't need him. I don't need anyone.

I just need to go.

There's a loud bang as the door flew open, closing behind the figure that strolls across the room toward us. The figure of someone who's going to keep their promise. The person who was going to end this fight for me. The person who's going to free me.

He walks out of the shadow revealing a haunting smile on his face, a smile I've seen many times.

"Je-Jeff?"

A sly smile runs across his face. "Hello there, doll face. Miss me?"

I believe in you, I can show you that I can see right through all your empty lies. I won't last long, in this world so wrong.

They're crying. My mother is shoving her way through the room as the doctors try to bring me back.

Black tears run down her face as she shouts for me.

The doctor looks to his watch and speaks to the nurse beside him. Curly's holding her back. She's reaching out to my body and screaming my name as the nurse places the sheet over my blue, bloody, face.

Curly's crying. He's not holding it back either. This is the first time I've seen him cry in years. He's not just crying either. He's balling. He's balling his eyes out and holding our mother back from me.

Tim's sitting in a chair with his hands on his face. He's crying, though he doesn't want anyone to see him. He's in pain. Physically, but more emotionally that anything.

He feels bad for the things he's said and he knows he can't take any of them back. He's thinking of our childhood. The childhood of the children he'd blocked out long ago.

He's apologizing to me over and over again.

I try and scream back but he doesn't move. He's just sitting there, letting out small whimpers.

I want to hug my mother and tell her I'm sorry. I want to tell her I'm sorry for not understanding what she's been through her whole life. I want to tell her I know why she's the way she is. I want to hug her and tell her I'm sorry for what her father did to her and apologize for the deeds my father did to her.

Curly leans his head against the wall and lets out more cries. No one rushes to him to comfort him.

He's special, even though Tim's told him different his whole life. I need to tell him to make something of himself one day for me. I want him to be Curly Shepard. Curly...not Tim.

Tim's still crying quietly. He's shouting in his head so many words.

I love him.

He's been more of a father to me than anyone else. He's taken care of me and cared more about me than anyone.

This isn't his fault.

I want to tell him to be a father figure in my son's life, and look after him. I know he can do it. He's been doing it for me my whole life.

Jake needs him. Jake needs a parent in his life.

I don't feel the regret of the things I've done. I don't feel mad at the man who did this to me. I don't feel the pain from the men that have touched me wrong without my consent.

I just don't feel.

Jeff's body lies in the next room, cold and blue just like mine. There's a hole on the back of his head and blood coats his slimy dirty hair. He's lifeless. He's gone.

Tim stepped up. He made a promise too to Jeff and like Jeff, he carried it out.

That's the sweet part of this.

I can't apologize for the shit I've done. I can't grab Tim by the fucking throat and tell him to grow some fucking balls and suck it up because he's just being stupid.

He knows me.

I can't tell him he's a fucking idiot for letting me get to him - letting himself believe me.

What's done is done.

So this is the part where I say I'm sorry. I made a mistake, I've sinned. Don't do what I did. Be smart, use your head.

I ain't perfect. I ain't a fucking angel. The shit I've done is still there and there isn't an eraser big enough to get rid of them. You could say that this same shit is what did this to me. Got me to this point of where I'm at.

My life. My mistakes.

Sorry I'm not perfect. Sorry I'm not the angel you wanted me to be, but here I stand. I'm saying I screwed up. I'm saying I didn't use my head. I'm saying I didn't listen.

And I wanna thank you. Thank you for everything. Thanks for making me. Thanks for everything.

This game...this fucking game is finally over.

I win, Jeff. I fucking win this. Me, Jeff.

Me.

The beast is dead. Long live the fucking king you son-of-a-bitch.

Long live the king.

Hold on. Hold on.
Hold on. Hold on.
Goodbye.

A/N: Hope you all enjoyed. Thank you all so much again for reviews and your time you spent reading. Really means a lot and I love and appreciate you all.

Light up the Fire, will be posted very soon for those of you who want to know.

Again, hope you all enjoyed and thanks so very much! :)