Disclaimer: I 'm not Michelle Paver and I do not own the Chronicles of Ancient Darkness.

A big apology to you! I'm a poor time manager and once the exam is here I kind of mess my schedule up, since my mind is so preoccupied by revision plans and homework and stuff. But no matter what, the third chapter is here, enjoy~

Chapter Three

Again, Renn ended up sitting on her sleeping bag at night, trying to figure out this mess and problems which lay before her. This situation had continued for several nights, so Renn had probably gained less than six hours sleep these days. She felt tired, but she couldn't sleep properly. Her brain and spirit refused to rest until she had solved this mystery. In the tent there were at least two dozens women and girls, all sleeping and snorting soundly around Renn. Two or three girls had to share a same sleeping bag, and some women leant against the wall and curved their bodies because space was less. Some even didn't have sleeping bags or blankets or something that could protect them from the freezing cold overnight. They simply lay on the floor and crowded together to trap their body heat. Renn's place was at the corner of the tent, which was lucky. She could slip away easily without being noticed. Especially now.

She put on her jerkin, cloak and boots, took her knife with her and ran out to the cold. The silvery moonlight shone overhead like a million little stars. Renn looked at the moon thoughtfully. She used to adore it very much when she was young, but now she had grown up, the moon seemed less attractive to her. Nonetheless, it was still a pleasure to see it during the long lonely night when Renn was sleepless. The moon gave her comfort and energy to face the darkness, and that's why she could walk on the coast of the Seal Island in the middle of the night. The Seal Clan encampment was basically ruined, and the members had to crawl into unbelievably small temporary shelters to get a night's sleep after the fire. The bad pungent smell of smoke still bothered Renn's nose, so she strolled further away from the campsite and hoped the gentle sea breeze could wash away the scent. She hoped also, that the wind could blow away her anxiety and the problems she needed to tackle.

For exactly two weeks she stayed on the Seal Island with Torak and Finn-Kedinn, the three of them held their own mission. Torak for visiting his kinsman-Bale, Finn-Kedinn for building friendship with the sea people, and Renn for entertainment purpose only-originally. But after the great fire, things had become more complicated. All the evidence-the mistletoe and amber-like beads, the reindeer skin shreds, and the newly-discovered handprint with three fingers, pointed to one thing. The dark power of the remaining Soul Eaters had spread to the sea. Renn as a raven clan mage-to-be, she had to help the Seal Clan Mage curing the injuries and tracking the real killer. She had gifts in magecraft, of couse, but she didn't like it. She was active and curious about everything, so she'd rather went to the deep forest and hunt preys than sitting in front of an altar, using the flames to predict what would happen next. She was born to be a huntress, she belonged to the forest. But now the reality hit her strongly, she must not escape from her talent anymore. It's clear that the Seal Clan needed her. She struggled to choose between the two: hunting which was her interest, and magecraft her talent and responsibility. She knew curing the sickness and predicting the future was right for the whole clan, but her heart yearned for the green forest. She just wanted to be free, a free woman in this world. Could it be possible that she could handle both things at the same time? Suddenly a shrewd voice whispered in her ears gently, and Renn knew it well.

'A person may have different wishes and ambitions. But we must not be selfish or arrogant to think that we can realize all our dreams. To be an expert in one category, you must devote yourself, body-and-mind completely, to the profession you choose. Only this can you achieve your goal and reward to the World Spirit.' Finn-Kedinn said to her when she was eight or nine. Renn sighed deeply as she knew her uncle had been right. Someday she'll had to consider which way she would go, and she hoped it would never come. And it looked like it was haunting her at the moment, because Saeunn was getting weaker and weaker as the days passed. The burden of being a mage now rested on Renn's shoulders. She was the only apprentice of Saeunn, and if, just if-Saeunn died, what would become of Renn? She dared not think about her fate if she was named the new mage of the Raven Clan. Back to the forest her own people were starting to regard Renn as the next mage of the clan, and they spoke to her with increasing reverence and courtesy. And Renn hated every bit of it. Had they consult my opinion of being a mage? Renn thought bitterly. And Sauenn didn't stop them while she saw the raven clan people went to ask Renn about the threat of Soul Eaters instead of asking her. This was like an approval to Renn's status as a mage, so for this Renn disliked Sauenn even more. 'What profits had becoming a mage made me?' murmured Renn, in the utter darkness of the Seal Island.

After thinking about her own question, she moved to the other's problems. An image emerged in her brain almost immediately, with black hair and russet skin, wit and humor sparkled in his big round eyes. His lips twisted to an unmistakably smile of a wolf. He was the one Renn cared the most, the one who had accompanied her for almost three years, the one whom she always trust and count on. She remembered the day when he first came into her life, in the form of a thief who tried to hunt on the other's land. Being caught together with a yearling wolf, the two were a weird pairing to Renn, but the twelve-year-old boy was especially stubborn. Nevertheless, Renn helped him to escape from her severe uncle, and in that way their friendship bloomed. She remembered when they were searching the evil bear, he used his incredible tracking skill to find out his prey; Renn had given it a deadly kill by shooting her last arrow in her quiver to the bear. She remembered how he risked his life to destroy the Tokoroth, and how he treated Wolf as a brother. She remembered the days when he was still an outcast, and all the clans were determined to kill him, but he refused to give up so easily and he learnt to run and hide, to start a fire without smoke and to make false trails. She remembered when his souls were sick, she sent Rip and Rek to cure him. When she claimed there would be a flood caused by the twin lakes, he was the first one who believed her. Whenever there was Torak, Renn felt safe, peaceful and comfortable. She enjoyed his accompany, and deep inside her heart, she knew that they both understood the other's thoughts completely. He was her closest and only friend in this world, and they needed each other. Unfortunately, Torak wasn't a normal person, and that changed everything. He was originally a Wolf Clan member, but later he turned clanless because he was a Spirit Walker. The people became frightened and panicked, and some even discriminated him. That was not a pleasant thing indeed. And from the day he was born, the World Spirit had given him a task, an almost impossible task to accomplish: kill the Soul Eaters. How would Torak feel if murdering somebody was his life's goal? In Renn's eyes, the Torak she saw was frustrated and miserable, sullener than before. He knew he had to do it, but everytime it caused injuries and sadness. His journey was filled with variables, and even a single mistake could lead to a total disaster. That was what made him so careful and worried. The Soul Eaters were not to be underestimated, and he had to think a lot before taking actions. Renn thought Torak was not only battling against the Soul Eaters, but also battling against himself. This was a matter of his stamina, speed and intelligence, and he looked tired when he tried to come up with a plan or something to fight against the Soul Eaters. Renn attempted to help him, but he seemed to have secrets and even Renn, his loyal partner, could not share his burden. In fact, if Torak had secrets, so did Renn.

Renn sighed deeply and lay back on the surface of sand. The mysterious moon stared upon her, the night gently covered her like a scarf, the wind howled a song of ocean as it brought back the distant smell of the North icy sea. Ocean, ocean, it sang, she never faded or diminished though there was sunshine, she never grew tired or bored though she hatched big waves and tides. Mother Ocean was one individual, though split apart by land, but it shall flowed back together in one, and reunited with her own people. After staying on the Seal Island for more than two weeks, she adapted to the environment gradually. In fact, amid hearing the seagull's calling, canoeing on the calm blue surface of sea and eating special meals concocted by halibuts and shrimps, Renn started to like this place. She had never thought about this possibility of loving the sealife on the island, but it seemed that she had been wrong. Although she missed the sight of forests, she found it relunctant to make an excuse to go back to her own place. From the year she was born, Renn had stayed in the open forest for most of her life time, so living on the Seal Island was like a whole new change for her, which was pretty good after soaking in the woodsy scent of trees for exactly 14 summers. In the past she lived in the world made up of green: the forests spread endlessly toward every corner of the earth, the willows, oaks and pine trees were all Renn knew about. But here she lived in a blue fantasy, where the great ocean extended as far and wide as the jungles, just like a beautiful piece of sapphire lay on the land. Complemented with the blue sky, it was a symphony of blue on the Seal Island, utterly different from the life in forests. Green and blue, two colours of nature which the former represents the homeland of Renn, and the latter a new paradise of marine amazements, waiting for Renn to discover. But thinking of her love for the Seal Island, she felt a slight hint of betrayal deep inside her heart. She seemed to betray the forest, her birthplace which she would never forget. Of course her preference for the ocean was temporary, right? Renn tried very hard to persuade herself that the jungles deserved for her permenant love and respect. But now, sitting on the coast of the island, all persuasions went useless instantly. 'What's wrong with me?' Renn prompted herself. She had once wanted to become a traveller, to explore the beauty and miracles of this fantastic world, but every clan had its geographical limitations. For instance, a Forest Horse couldn't survive in the freezing North, and a Mountain Hare couldn't live in land with low altitude. For Renn, a Raven couldn't go freely in the ocean, because it belonged to the forest. Forest.

Suddenly her heart gave a loud 'bang'. Thinking of forest, she recalled the previous memory of the fire breaker. Everyone else knew who was he-to speak more accurately, everyone else except the Seal Clan people. It was clearly Thazzi's work-stirred up incidents between people was his first prowess. But what bothered Renn was the reason behind this ruthless action. 'Think like him,' Renn muttered to herself, 'think like Thazzi so you can find out anything.' Now that Seshru had died, Thazzi and Eostra were the ones left. He knew he had to be faster than Eostra, and no wonder his prime target was the Fire Opal on the Seal Island. The one controlling the magical crystal would be king. Thazzi was clever enough, he knew he needed chaos to distract people's attention, but Renn had never thought of him starting a fire. Remember here was coastal areas, and the probability of lighting up even a spark was as low as that of picking down the moon. But indeed his element of surprise had worked, the whole clan didn't notice the fire at first. 'He must have been on the altar uphill when everybody is splashing water to kill the fire,' Renn figured it out. After gaining what he needed, he slipped away before the people turned conscious and suspicious, leaving no trails behind. But burning down the Seal camp wouldn't do him any good, of course the Seal Clan people would go after him...'No, no. Something is weird.' Renn murmured to herself. Why did he set fire to the tents only? Why didn't he kill somebody instead? It would be easier than starting a fire. So the purpose behind this action was not killing, he simply started a fire and left as if nothing had happened. Sooner or later would the Seal Clan warriors formed a team to hunt for Thazzi, but...suddenly a thought bumped into Renn's brain. The fire had not only been a distraction to the clan, but it left injuries and damage of properties behind, so they slowed down the hunting of Thazzi because there were weapons missing. Now the whole clan was cloaked in horror and sadness, everything had not settled down. Although Bale and his kinsmen were willing to kill Thazzi and defend the honor of their clan, they couldn't go because of the shortage of weapons and food. That had made time for Thazzi to go further away and disappeared to where he was the most powerful-the deep forest. Renn had knew this earlier this day when she predicted where Thazzi had gone from the flames. 'Yes...he do this so to dismember the clan and break the harmony and unity of them,' Renn concluded, her teeth clattering because of both fury and coldness. 'He must have felt delighted to see the weak and vulnerable people suffered from pain. The fire has fulfilled his twin wishes: to dismember the Clan and slow down their rhythem, and to let them suffer and drown in misery.' Renn's fists clenched as she finally figured out what was happening. The tiredness crept onto her body, and she planned to go back to the shelter. But she kept tripping over stones and pebbles since the moon was covered by the clouds and there was no light left. Plus she was too angry and furious to walk properly, and after felling for the fourth time, she gave up. Something warm was flowing out from her wrist. She must had cut herself accidentally. The wrath had faded gradually, and it turned to sorrow and great grief which made Renn cried. She cried quietly and buried her head in between her knees. She had never felt so tiny and useless before, and she had not cried for years, but now the continuous disasters happening on the island had push her to the breaking point. She cried in front of the Raven Clan Mage the night when she vowed to forget Torak and his missions, and she wept for the entire Seal Clan, for the miserable fate of herself and for the cruelty Thazzi performed tonight. All this time she had experienced endless misfortunes in her life, but she had made it every time. But this time she could not. In fact she didn't have energy to defend herself now, after witnessing countless deaths and injuries today. She could have been stronger and control her emotions, but she had used up all her power virtually. After all, she was just a 14-year-old. It's not fair, Renn thought while biting her lips, why did people expect so much on me? Why must I become a mage? Why did they think that I can tackle these things on my own? She started to understand Torak's feeling, that the world was filled with injustice: he was forced to become a murderer, although the people he was killing had done all the bad things on the world; she was forced to become someone that people expected her to be, but not the one that she wanted to be. She felt sick. Her knees trembled, her tears streamed down her face uncontrollably, her heart ached and bled. Renn wanted to scream, to shout out her troubles and problems and pass out, but she literally couldn't.

After what seemed like a thousand years time, Renn heard footsteps, becoming louder and louder. At least she picked up her courage to trudge forward one step or two to have a clearer sight, and the intruder was holding a torch or something. Renn's internal alarm rang. She took out her dagger which was hidden in her fur boots, but before she could make further movements, the intruder said in a barely discernible volume, 'Who's there? Is that Renn?' he trotted forward and saw Renn standing alone on the beach, gripping a dagger. She looked ferocious and aggressive indeed.

But after recognising who he was, she relaxed and knelt down on the sand again. 'Hey, Bale. What makes you here?'

Bale chuckled and sat beside the red-head-raven girl. 'Why are you here, then? Guess we both cannot sleep properly.' Bale said. They were silent. Renn was so happy that someone eventually appeared to have the same feeling that she had, and she felt more protected and safe with Bale's accompany. She gazed at the shining stars above, so remote from the stir of society and so unreachable.

'We have legends about the stars, you know,' Renn spoke up, 'most of them are comedies. How I wish to be in one of them! Living forever high in the sky without worrying about all these mess...' life in those myths seemed to be perfect and carefree, totally different from the reality.

'Yeah, sometimes stories are tempting, but legends are just legends. They are crafted to perfection to make us realize the cruelty of the real world. And believe me, my ancestor's story is really ridiculous.' Bale replied. Renn raised her eyebrows, questioning. 'Our predecessor, the King of Seal, had once dived deeply into the sea, deep enough to reach the sea bed. But unfortunately he didn't float up again, instead while he was sinking to the bottom of the ocean, a great piece of land bumped out suddenly in the exactly shape of a seal. So that's how our precious Seal Island was born out of nothing at all, except the quirky choking death of our most honorable ancestor.' Bale finished, satisfied with his presentation.

Renn burst into bits of laughters immediately, her muscles on the face were starting to ache since she laughed too hard. 'You...mean...the seal actually drowned? I mean...isn't he a god or something? By the way, a normal seal shouldn't drown either.' said Renn.

'Yeah, this is the point that makes it funny. Think that the cold sea water must have become the graveyard of our ancestor.' Bale grinned. In fact he was trying desperately to hide his feelings toward the girl sitting in front of him, less than a forearm's distance. He had prayed for thousands of time that the Guardians could give him a chance to declare his words to Renn, and now the moment had come. So why did he feel such dread? He frowned. Was it because of the fire? He had been busy all day long, arranging temporary cabins for everyone, searching the lost weapons and making a list of missing properties, checking the altar uphill and the snares set in the shallow water in the bay. He had just managed to sneak out of his tent because he was too worried to sleep. Being the clan leader-to-be, he knew he had big responsibility to afford. Right now he couldn't take his eyes off of Renn, who looked amazingly beautiful yet frigid in the moonlight, resembling a graceful deity. He cleared his throat and took a deep breath before he spoke. For the first time, he let his heart spoke for him, fully revealing his thoughts to somebody.

'Don't you think the Seal Island is a wonderful place, Renn?' he began, staring at the ocean instead of Renn. His voice was gentle and comfortable, his mind was happy and relieved.

'Of course, I like this lovely isle,' Renn replied undoubtly, her words flowed out of her mouth so naturally and her lips twisted into a genuine smile automatically. 'On Seal island I feel...free and easy, because I have left my worries behind, in the forest. Only in here can I enjoy myself, enjoy life itself as I stroll along the coast and collect marvelous seashells, row the skin boat on the sea surface with a speed comparable to flying, play tricks with seagulls and admire the amazing view of sunset as the sparkling red and the peaceful blue blend together. It's like a spiritual vacation, that my mind has finally allowed to rest even just for a couple of weeks, and every day I wake up and find the sea roaring and the sun shining, I feel life itself has come upon me. I feel as if living in a real dream, a dream of blue, and I'll never get old for dreams, you know. That's why I love the Seal Island. At first I think for a forest girl like me, it's impossible to fall in love with the ocean, but as far as I can tell, I have been wrong enough.' Renn said queitly. Bale shivered in joy; he didn't expect an answer from Renn like this, he even became to wonder whether she was lying or not.

But Renn gave a bitter laugh and continued, 'although that is the case, there's never a day when my heart stop missing the green forests. No matter how I love the dolphins, seals and whales here, the image of willow, mistletoe, shrubbery and those beautiful flowering plant with fresh fragrance has imprinted on my mind. I love the salty scent of ocean, but I know life in the forest best suits me. I just know it. I like smoked elk, mushrooms and pigeons, I like wandering between the trees and chase the herd of sheep, I like every bit of forest. It's cruel to say that, but surely my heart yearns for forest more than the ocean.' Renn finished with a sigh. Surely she loved forest...more?

Bale looked like he had gulped down a few flasks of vinegar. The little hope that had just roused from his heart died again, like short-lived fireworks. He should've known it. He should've known that, no matter how hard he tried to persuade Renn, to tempt her to stay on the Seal Island, he would never succeed. Renn's loyalty towards her home would eventually overcome the newfound joy she had on the island, and...what chance did he stand when it came to Torak and Renn? He had sensed the chemical between the two long before they themselves realized it; they seemed determined to be together. Raven should be with Wolf, not Seal, Bale thought bitterly. Nevertheless, Bale was a true Seal to the core: seals didn't give up easily. Although he knew that the battle was lost already, he wouldn't let his chance to slip away; he wouldn't acknowledge his defeat without having a go first.

'I know you will say that,' muttered Bale, more to himself than to Renn, 'if the situation is reversed, I will choose Seal Island rather than the Forest.' He grasped a handful of sand, and watched it spilled out of his fist gradually. His heart was giving a symphony of mixed emotions: happy, sad, peaceful and slightly disappointed. But mostly it was bittersweet. A bittersweet lullaby. With a shiver, he began again.

'When I met you two years ago, I thought you were nothing more than a rude and reckless, brave yet frigid redhead Raven girl,' Bale said, 'but things had changed a lot after Torak was outcasted.' He recalled the memory of Renn, seeking his help for the sake of saving Torak. They had travelled in secrecy, fearing their trails would arouse the clans' attention and rage; they had faced the mysterious Otter Clan twin Mages together, they had journeyed through the rough seas and storms to reach the sick Torak on the swamp. They had gone through so many things in the past few months; and in Bale's heart, that was all that mattered in this moment. 'The division between land and sea no longer exists; Torak comes back as a brand new son of all clans.' He continued, addressing the moonbeam reflected by the calm ocean surface. 'And you, Renn, you have grown into something more than a rude and reckless, brave yet frigid redhead Raven girl: you're a mature, quick-thinking and wise young woman now.' He turned his gaze to look at Renn; he couldn't judge her reaction in this darkness, but she seemed relatively astonished, though remained still in her position.

Bale smiled to himself. 'I've always wanted you to know, that I treat you like a sister, a sister so good and caring, so thoughtful and lovable.'

'And I've always wanted you to know, Bale, that you are an excellent big brother to me, so bold and long-sighted, so courageous and responsible.' Renn replied silently. Somehow, she could predict what would happen next.

Bale swallowed back the hot liquid that was prickling his eyes. 'I am glad you say that...Renn...and I think, just for a fraction of a second, that after the hunt of the Viper Soul Eater, that after we experienced so many things together...I think that, though how very mindless and wishful it seems: you have finally, finally grown into something that is more than a mere sister to me.' The last phrase came as a whisper, even softer than the softest murmur, and Bale was not sure whether Renn could catch it; but it didn't matter anymore. He had spoken what he should've spoken years ago. And then he braced himself for the upcoming sorrow that would swell in his ribs and stomach, for he knew what would Renn say next. No matter what she said, it would most likely shatter his pointless dreaming and longing, and break his heart into a million pieces. Something boiling hot had slithered down his cheek again like streams of despair and grief, but Bale bet she couldn't see them. He heard Renn drew a deep breath before she spoke, and her voice seemed distant and...unreachable.

'Bale...I don't know what to...I...' Her lips moved, but she just couldn't find the words. A strange, sinking and twisting feeling started inside her heart; she felt hollow, unprotected, frail. The world might have just doomed before her eyes, but she couldn't feel it. She couldn't feel a thing; not even the wind roaring, the sand shifting or the raindrops dripping. I think that, though how very mindless and wishful it seems: you have finally, finally grown into something that is more than a mere sister to me. She hated herself for what she was going to say, because it would destroy him, it would blow out the weak little flame of hope that kept him warm and still; it would torture both of them, and their spirits would scream in agony and great sadness. It would haunt them forever, but she had to make it clear to Bale. If she didn't, Bale would be in even more pain dangling on this relationship. Yet her body wouldn't cooperate. The muscles refused to move while the soul was tearing itself apart.

'I...think...you...know,' she breathed, tears rolling down her cheeks as they splashed on the sand.

Bale shuddered, struggling to pull himself together, and fighting the urge to sprint back into the camp and rip everything he could reach to shreds and pieces. 'You're like the sand on this beach, Renn,' his deep voice flowed out of his mouth, surprisingly smooth and rather calm. He grasped a handful of sand again and said, 'fine and gentle and soft...but slips away easily. Something, someone, that you can't have.' He unclenched his fist and released the sand. Renn was already soaked in tears, as Bale fumbled to reach his pocket and pulled out what seemed to be a cork. An invitation originally...all the young 15-year-old or above Seal boys gave it to the girls they loved, as a promise that he was ready to protect, to love her...forever. Although Bale knew what the result would be, he still handed it to Renn, and stuffed it into her shivering palm.

'Keep it for me, would you? A gift.' Renn stared at the object through watery eyes: a cork with a few golden hairs entwined on it. She gasped and looked at Bale: though broken his heart must be, he forced a small smile on his face, with that bittersweet expression. This was too much for a gift: he devoted part of his soul to Renn's hands, a girl who would never repay his love. After all, he still trust her, and although there would be nothing happened between the two, he was willing to sacrifice some part of him, as a confession for his love towards her. Renn summoned all her will power to speak.

'Bale, I-'

'You don't need to explain,' He interrupted her softly, standing up at the same time. 'I understand, I know it.' He turned to leave, but he hesitated for a moment before adding, 'You just need to know...that somebody had once laid his love on a girl, a girl he can never truly have.' Renn was close to tears again.

Bale's throat was dry. 'You just need to know that.'

And he turned, disappearing into the utter darkness.

So, there you go! Another chapter about Bale and Renn. I've always wanted to speak up for Bale, for his forbidden and fruitless love towards Renn, and this bittersweet feeling always seems positively intriguing to me. I don't know whether this chapter looks cliche or not, but that is my interpretation of the Bale/Renn issue. Like it? Hate it? Feel free to comment and review, please! Thanks for reading:)