A/N: And here it is… the sequel to 'Week One'! *pumps fist into air*

"…"

If only it lives up to expectations. :P

Okay, updates are going to be kind of random seeing how its summer and my brain/body willingly chose to go on a writing spree (like this morning). But rest assured this won't be abandoned. I have it all mapped out…for the most part. Just bear with me and be patient!

Enough rambling- here's the story.

Warning: Language, OOC, violence, etc.

Disclaimer: All rights belong to Masashi Kishimoto- for now.

^v^

Itachi shook his head and blearily rubbed his eyes, patting at the desk beside his bed for his glasses that he totally didn't wear. He had just shoved the thing square frames on his face and tripped out of bed, when he finally took notice of the loud commotion coming from his kitchen. His dark eyes narrowed. There were an awful lot of chakra signatures in there- and all of which he knew.

He growled. Ever since Deidara had officially joined in with his clan of psychopaths, he held parties every other night that ended with his bedroom in a fireworks show. Needless to say, he wasn't very pleased while all the other Uchihas, Naruto, and Hiruzen laughed at him. And he didn't even know why the Hokage was there in the first place!

Itachi took a deep breath to calm himself down, stumbling to his doorway with a brow twitching and frown on his face. Unfortunately he never made it out his door, slipping on a wet spot conveniently right in the gap between his room and the hallway.

There was the loud sound of snickering and hushed whispers which soon turned to shrieks as Itachi rose to his feet, Sharingan activated and wielding a katana that Shisui foolishly gave him for his past birthday.

That's right.

Uchiha Itachi was now officially fifteen years old.

Two years had passed since the horrific day his parents had left him with his younger brother and Naruto-no-baka. Two years of waking to pranks, Shisui, and more stupidity than he could handle. And the biggest problem?

His parents still hadn't come back.

Day One: Growing Up (never easy and never reassuring- especially in this family)

Itachi huffily sat at the kitchen table, arms folded and sternly staring down a grinning blonde. "Did I ever tell you how much I hate you?"

Iwa Deidara cheekily winked. "Every day."

Now Itachi had come to like the annoying asshole that Deidara was to him. The blonde bomber was smart in his own right and always sticking up for what he thought was right. Like torturing Itachi and making him seem like the biggest idiot alive. Itachi still didn't get it.

Itachi rolled his eyes and grabbed the box of cereal in front of him, beginning to pour it before realizing he didn't get a bowl.

"Here nii-san," Sasuke muttered, chucking the needed item at his brother's head.

Itachi barely caught the flying projectile, giving Sasuke an annoyed glance. "Well look who woke up on the wrong side of bed. What- did Naruto stuff his foot in your mouth again?"

The youngest Uchiha scowled before taking a position next to Deidara, grumpily snatching the cereal from Itachi who was just about to pour himself some breakfast. "Why can't Naruto get his own futon like Deidara-nii?"

Itachi gave him a bored look. "Because we only had enough money for one. Besides, you know you'd just cry if you ever got separated from Naruto-no-baka."

Sasuke responded by stealing Itachi's spoon.

Deidara laughed at Itachi's misfortune before chuckling behind his hand when the raven's glare turned onto him. "Sorry. It's just that Sasu-kun's really turning into you. A cold, heartless, troll who feeds on the souls of pure-hearted children."

Sasuke looked at the older blonde with wide eyes. "Really?"

Deidara ruffled the boy's already tousled locks. "Nah. You'd never get that bad."

Itachi gave them both very dirty looks.

Naruto wandered into the kitchen looking lost and disorientated. "Where…am I?"

Sasuke sighed and threw his newly acquired spoon at the blonde's head.

"Ow! Sasuke- what was that for?" Naruto angrily glared at him.

"Your face annoyed me," Sasuke nonchalantly replied. "Now sit down and eat or else we'll be late for the Academy."

Itachi rolled his eyes and placed his chin in his palm, idly listening to the two bicker in the background.

Uzumaki Naruto was the most hyperactive and stupid kid to ever leave alone for more than three seconds. He had grown four inches over the years and still managed to be shorter than Sasuke who didn't grow at all. Granted the blonde had a big heart and had a great way with lightening the mood- but pulling pranks afterwards nearly always turned that loving aura into one of pain.

And then you had Uchiha Sasuke. Two years could really do a lot with a person's mindset. Sasuke had gone from the adorably loving kid to the one you always wanted to punch whenever he spoke. Well Deidara thought he was still adorable. But Itachi didn't really care for his opinion. Thankfully, Sasuke treasured his friendships and would not hesitate to defend his friends. Or beat the crap out of them when they pissed him off.

The sad part about all this, was that the two were only ten years old and already off on the path of violence and intolerance with each other.

Naruto scrunched his nose at the younger Uchiha. "You're so bossy Sasuke."

"Sue me."

"Maybe I will. Once Deidara-nii and I go blow up the bank of course…"

Itachi's head snapped to a smirking blonde. "I thought you said last week was the last time you'd do such a stupid thing!"

Deidara gave him a look. "I also said that every week before that. You need to get up to date un."

Itachi felt a vein pop. "Konoha can't keep building banks just because you enjoy seeing money fly around in the air."

"Well Konoha also needs its own taste of fun," Deidara scoffed, waving his hand at him. "With killjoys like you around its practically begging for some life."

"You're going to be begging for life as soon as I get my hands on you…" Itachi muttered under his breath. He glanced sideways at Naruto who flopped down beside him. "No blowing up the bank baka."

Naruto blew a raspberry in response.

Itachi's brow twitched, hand coming up to shove the blonde's head in his freshly poured bowl of cereal.

Naruto sputtered while Sasuke gaped and Deidara burst out laughing.

Day Two: Fighting As Usual (because old habits die hard)

Itachi walked into the living room with every intention of telling Deidara off for leaving a trail of mushy brown clay behind him as they walked through the village before shouting, 'OH COME ON ITACHI! I JUST POTTY-TRAINED YOU YESTERDAY!'

Itachi was proud to say that the Iwa nin now sported two large black eyes. Speaking of which…

The oldest Uchiha came to a halt, staring at Deidara who calmly sat on the couch before their new television set.

With a bag over his head.

Itachi was slightly disturbed when Deidara's head turned and all he could see were two cut-out circles where he presumed the blonde's eyes to be.

"…"

"…"

"What…are you doing Deidara?" Itachi finally asked after several more minutes of silence.

"I'm watching T.V., what else does it look like un?" Deidara all but snapped at him.

"Can you even see out of that?" Itachi wondered aloud.

Deidara turned his head back in the direction of the television. "Shut up. I'm not talking to you hmm."

Itachi raised a brow. "Why?"

"Because I had to go out in public with this bag over my head and everyone kept staring at me and whispering," Deidara vehemently hissed, crossing his arms. "And those stupid Hyuugas with their stupid apples kept chucking them at me when I walked by."

Itachi blinked. "I thought you liked Hinata."

"That's not the point!" Deidara all but shouted. "That Neji punk tried to throw a tree at me! A frickin' tree!"

"Take it easy will you?" Itachi rolled his eyes and strode over, standing in front of the blonde and blocking whatever gruesome movie he was watching.

"Get out of the way," Deidara growled.

Itachi thoughtfully hummed before leaning forward and ripping the bag off Deidara's head, ignoring the horrified gasp that came with it. He stared. "Oh my Kami you look like a panda. And not in the good way."

Deidara scowled fiercely and attempted to snatch back the bag Itachi had in his hands. "Gee, thanks for making me feel better you bastard hmm."

Itachi looked almost sympathetic. "Hey- you made it look like I had major bathroom issues."

"You do."

Itachi chose to ignore that. "I didn't know my punches would make that much damage."

"My skin's pretty delicate un. I try not to let anyone touch it."

"Right…" Itachi skeptically eyed him, thinking back to all the times Deidara had been hit. He shuddered at the thought of Orochimaru's Bitch Slap of Doom Jutsu. In fact- is that even a real jutsu? It's like Ibiki's Sonic Clap jutsu. He deadpanned. Complete and utter bullshit.

Deidara sighed, opting to undo his hair tie and cover his entire face with his long hair. "There. Now no one can see anything."

"And neither can you," Itachi dryly said.

"Pipe down Uchiha-kun," Deidara grumbled. "I'll get you back in due time. Just you wait un…"

Itachi smirked, turning to walk away and leave the blonde to his own devices. "Bring it."

Day Three: On The Matter of Age (because none of them really knew)

"So…something's really been bothering me," Itachi said the next day at dinner. Naruto and Sasuke gave him expectant looks while Deidara simply ignored him.

"What is it nii-san?" Sasuke asked.

"We don't know how old Deidara is."

"…"

"…"

Deidara still ignored him, although now there was the slightest tick mark on his cheek.

Sasuke and Naruto looked at one another. "He has a point," Naruto said. "How old is Deidara-nii?"

Sasuke shrugged and then looked at the older blonde. "Aren't you older than nii-san?"

Deidara slowly turned to stare at the three who were staring back. "I'm…thirteen un."

"WHAT!"

"You're younger than me?" Itachi asked in disbelief. "That can't be right. You're telling me that you were eleven when we took the Chuunin Exams? You said you're a special Jounin. When did you…?"

Deidara pursed his lips, glaring at the raven. "Long before you, that's for sure you old geezer."

Itachi felt a vein pop.

Day Four: Phone Call (Itachi should have just disconnected the line)

Ring…Ring…Ring…

"Mushi-mushi un?"

"Hm? Who is this?"

Deidara held the phone away from his ear with an eyebrow raised. Then a coy smile spread across his face. He cleared his throat, making his voice higher than usual. "Oh, you must be Fugaku-sama. Itachi-kun has told me so much about you."

"What? I…wasn't aware my son had company over."

Deidara grinned. "You mean he never told you?"

"Told me what?"

"We're married~!"

"WHAT!"

Deidara had to cover the speaker of the phone as he laughed hysterically to himself. Once he had managed to get the tremors in his voice under control, he went back to his conversation. "Itachi-kun isn't here right now, but I can kindly take a message."

"…"

"Fugaku-sama?"

"…"

Deidara shrugged, hanging the phone back up with a large grin. "Must've killed him un."

Itachi walked out of the kitchen, a bowl of chips in his hands. He knew something was up when he saw Deidara standing by the phone with an euphoric expression on his face and snickering loudly. "What did you do?" he dryly asked.

The blonde turned to look at him. "Oh nothing Itachi-kun~ If I were you, I'd call your father back and make sure he's still breathing hmm." He began walking down the hall.

Itachi stared after him. "What?"

Deidara waved a hand carelessly behind him, beginning to pick up his walking pace. "Nothing un."

"What did you do Deidara?" Itachi shouted after him. He glanced towards the phone, holding the bowl of chips in one hand while checking through the Caller ID list with his other. His eyes widened at the most recent number and name. Oh. My- "DEIDARA!"

Deidara burst out laughing, breaking into a run with the older Uchiha hot on his trail.

Sasuke poked his head out the living room doorway as his brother ran by. "Nii-san, what's-?"

Itachi flipped the bowl onto his head. "Not now Sasuke!"

Sasuke deadpanned, lifting the bowl off his head as the chips inside poured down his shirt. "Gee, thanks nii-san." He sighed, turning to go back to the couch where Naruto was seated. They had been watching a horror movie when the phone rang. And Sasuke- with his super hearing abilities that he had- listened in on the phone conversation.

He really wouldn't be surprised if his dad died.

"I thought you went to get snacks-" Naruto cut himself off, staring at his chip-covered friend. He reached over, pulling a chip out of the raven's hair and threw it inside his mouth, chewing obnoxiously for a good three minutes before beaming like a mad-man. "Wow! My favorite flavor!"

Sasuke blinked. "Sometimes I have the urge to punch you."

"Huh?"

"Nevermind."

Day Five: Wedding Gift (every married couple get one, right?)

Itachi growled as the doorbell rang, sitting up in bed and throwing his covers off of him. He glared at the blonde sprawled across his own futon before getting up and throwing his pillow at the bomber's head. Just because he liked pissing the blonde off- and he now had to figure out a way to assure his father that he was not married. That, and he had missed his chance at finding out where exactly his parents were! Two years was an awfully long time to be on vacation.

Deidara snarled something that sounded like a curse before chucking the pillow right back at him, missing in his sleepy state.

Itachi ignored the blonde, stomping out the room as the doorbell rang again. "I'm coming already so shut the hell up already!"

"PMSing bastard!" Deidara's voice could be heard shouting after him.

Itachi launched himself at the front door as it rang again, throwing it open in almost a maddened state. After all, he was still donned in his pajamas, hair out and askew. "What do you want?" he practically screamed into the face of whoever was out there.

Shisui grinned with a wave, one arm hidden behind him. "Ohaiyo favorite cousin number two."

Itachi's eye twitched. "Number two?"

"Yeah." Shisui's grin grew. "Deidara's now my number one favorite cousin."

"Just tell me what you want," Itachi ground out. "And why you've seen it fit to wake me at seven in the morning on a Friday which is my day of relaxation."

Shisui smirked. "I just like screwing with you."

Itachi felt a vein pop. "Shisui…you-"

"And also-" Shisui whipped out what he had been hiding behind his back, holding out a bouquet, sparkles surrounding him as he loudly said, "CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MARRIAGE!"

Itachi's fingers clenched and unclenched before his fist went flying into his older cousin's face. There were several tic marks plastered to the back of his head as he grabbed the flowers and slammed the front door, storming through the house and back into his bedroom where Deidara was groggily getting changed.

He looked up in the process of pulling on a shirt when the Uchiha came in. "Hey, what's the big idea you bastard un-"

Itachi smacked him over the head with the bouquet, vein throbbing. "Here's a wedding gift from Shisui you baka!"

Deidara took the flowers, a suddenly glowing aura around his body. "Flowers for me?" he dramatically cooed. "Why Itachi-kun~ you shouldn't have!" He lunged for the older teen.

Itachi blanched and hurriedly scooted away. "Don't do that!"

"But we're married!"

"No we're not!"

Deidara smirked, beginning to chase the raven out the room and down the hall. "Itachi-kun come back!"

"Stay back you horrid monster!"

Naruto groggily walked outside his shared room, only to be yanked back by his shirt by Sasuke before he could be run over by a wide-eyed Itachi and laughing Deidara. "WHA-?"

"Dobe," Sasuke sighed.

Naruto rubbed his eyes. "What's going on…?"

"Nii-san and Deidara-nii got married."

Naruto's eyes bugged. "Huh?"

Itachi halted, letting Deidara run into his back as he whirled around to point a finger at his grinning younger brother. "Stop spreading lies foolish little brother!"

Sasuke shrugged, turning to go back into his room and dragging his best friend along with him. "Have fun on your honeymoon," he called.

"SASUKE!"

Deidara snickered, holding back a raging Uchiha who had many tic marks plastered onto his head.

Day Six: Typical Mission Briefing (it's the Third Hokage- what do you expect?)

"Hokage-sama, you wanted to see us," Itachi politely said from inside the Hokage's office.

The old man was calmly sitting at his desk, smoking a pipe and looking out the large window behind him. "Yes I did."

Itachi stared at his Hokage. "Smoking will kill you."

"So will this pipe!" The Third Hokage shouted, chucking the object in his mouth at the Uchiha's head.

Itachi dodged, his eye twitching.

Deidara laughed quietly from his position next to the older raven, waving his hands placatingly at his Hokage. "It's okay Hiruzen. Sometimes Itachi-kun speaks without thinking un."

"Doesn't he do that all the time?" Hiruzen asked.

Deidara blinked. "Good point."

Itachi whacked the blonde over the head.

"Ow!"

"Anyway," The Hokage continued, as if he hadn't attempted to strike down one of his most talented shinobi with a smoking pipe. "Your mission is very simple. Or it should be for one of your ability Deidara."

Itachi held out a fist, vein throbbing. "Are you ignoring me on purpose!"

"Wow~ thanks Hiruzen un," Deidara grinned.

"Sure kiddo," the Hokage laughed.

Itachi hung his head. "They are…"

"So what's our mission?" Deidara curiously asked.

"Glad you asked," the Hokage hummed.

Itachi felt a brow quirk uncontrollably. Don't say something like that when you summoned us here in the first place!

"You two are to retrieve a very important scroll from an old friend's base," Hiruzen informed them.

"An old friend?" Itachi inquired.

Hiruzen nodded, stroking his tiny beard. "Orochimaru."

Both Itachi and Deidara's eyes widened. "Orochimaru!"

Hiruzen tossed them a mission scroll which Itachi caught one-handed. "That's right."

Itachi glanced to the side, noticing Deidara subconsciously rubbing his cheek with a sore look. He couldn't help but roll his eyes and swat the blonde's hand away from his face. "We'll take the mission Hokage-sama. Does it pay well?"

The Third Hokage flashed them a thumbs up. "You bet it does!"

Deidara perked up considerably. "Hooray!"

Day Seven: An Old 'Friend' (payback time!)

"Well we've got the scroll un," Deidara said. "But this was way too easy!"

"For once I agree," Itachi replied, pocketing the scroll in the confines of his shirt.

Deidara blew a raspberry at him. "Whatever. Let's just get out of here~"

Itachi narrowed his eyes, drawing back a leg to kick Deidara hard in his face.

Deidara sprawled onto the ground, looking over his shoulder with wide eyes and a trial of blood dripping out his mouth. "What the hell was that for?"

Itachi stepped forward, Sharingan activated. "Did you really think I'd let you leave…Orochimaru?"

Deidara straightened up, a coy smile on his lips as he licked the blood away. "How'd you know it was me Itachi-kun~?"

"Because of that annoying habit you have. Itachi-kun~" Itachi irritably mocked as the henge of his teammate was dropped. "It's pretty hard to ignore."

Orochimaru tilted his head to the side. "So what are you going to do? Fight me?"

Itachi blinked. "No need."

"Yeah you creepy jerk! Not when I'm here yo do it!" Deidara dropped down from the ceiling, delivering a flying kick to the older man's head. Orochimaru went skidding a few feet away. The blonde glared at him and then looked at Itachi. "Thanks for helping me out that snake pit back there un."

Itachi smirked a bit. "You could get out yourself. Besides, it was fun waiting to see what Orochimaru had planned."

Deidara stomped his foot, vein popping. "It wasn't fun for me!"

Orochimaru suddenly appeared before the younger blonde. "I see you just can't wait to be struck down by me again~"

Deidara smirked, getting into a stance neither Orochimaru or Itachi had seen before. "Oh really un? I haven't forgotten our last encounter. So here's to returning the favor- TENFOLD!" He swiveled on the heel of his foot, bringing his palm around front to slam it into the snake man's face. "NINPO: BITCHSLAP OF DOOM PAYBACK STYLE!"

"Wha-!" Orochimaru went flying into a stone pillar fifty feet away which collapsed immediately upon contact.

Itachi stared wide-eyed and then looked at Deidara who was shaking out his hand. "What the hell was that?"

Deidara amusedly faced him. "New jutsu."

Itachi felt an eye twitch as he lunged forward, tugging on the corners of the blonde's cheeks with a popped vein. "That wasn't even a real jutsu Dei-da-ra! It looked like something from the Hyuuga Clan!"

Deidara tried to push the raven away. "Oi, oi- don't get all jealous just because you can't touch my ability hmm Itachi."

Several tic marks plastered themselves to the back of Itachi's head. "Who's getting jealous?"

Suddenly the floor began to tremble, bits and pieces of the stone room they were in beginning to fall apart. The two stopped their bickering, jumping apart as a giant metal beam fell where they had just been standing.

Deidara looked around, brows furrowed. "Where did we come in again?"

Itachi also glanced about, motioning up to a platform behind the blonde. "We'll head out there."

Deidara nodded, taking off for the platform immediately.

Itachi was about to follow when his Sharingan picked up on a chakra signature coming up on his side. So he's still alive? Of course this guy wouldn't die with that stupid jutsu Deidara used, Itachi thought with a rather large sweatdrop.

Orochimaru grabbed Itachi by the shoulder, cheek obnoxiously swollen. "I won't let you get away Itachi-kun!"

Itachi felt an eye twitch as a particularly large hunk of ceiling came crashing down beside them.

Orochimaru encouragingly smiled. "Come join me."

"KATON: FLAMING FIST NO JUTSU!" Itachi punched him in the face, sending Orochimaru flying into the same pillar Deidara had, before meeting up with the blonde at the exit.

Deidara glanced at him as they started to run out the caving building. "And you yell at me for making up jutsus un."

"Shut up."

A/N: So how was it? I'm curious what you think about it.

^v6

It was utterly fun to write though