Side Notes and Sinking Thoughts: Chapter 3

The next few weeks had been probably the best weeks of my life. I had woken up with no new messages on my phone so I decided to text Vincent and Tifa, asking when we should hang out again.

Tifa had teased me (an action she began to do more and more often throughout those weeks), saying that I only wanted to hang out with her step-brother and not her. I let it blow over, even though at a time it was sort of true. It took Vincent a long time to reply (I got a text at five o'clock the next night) and I deemed that he was not a texting person. (A sad thing, since I was an addict to it…even though the only people I ever texted were Tifa and Cloud.)

His reply was a simple "Okay."

I wondered how long it took him to type it and what type of cell phone he had. He probably still had a flip phone (to which I giggled uncontrollably) and never texted anyone all day before, yet I kind of preferred it that way. We weren't even going out (yet) so we didn't have to talk all the time, and even if we did (do) we would probably give each other valuable alone time.

My reply was a long ass text asking him how "okay" was an appropriate response to "when do you want to hang out?" to which he called me and told me he didn't know how to text. I then threw my phone on the ground and was almost screaming in laughter.

"Vincent, you make me laugh," I told him afterwards.

"I thought you were dying," he replied.

We all ended up going on the double-date-like-thing with Tifa and Cloud but we went to go see Super 8 instead of Harry Potter and the Deathly Hollows Part 2 despite all of my begging to go see the former. But I was the only on in my group who loved Harry Potter and I had already gone to the midnight showing so I was told to deal.

It was actually a pretty sexy outing, because Tifa wore this really short skirt and Cloud was drooling all over the place. Cloud looked pretty sexy, too, but not as sexy as Vincent, because when cloud wore jeans and a dress shirt (he took this 'date' seriously), Vincent wore a black Avenged Sevenfold tee-shirt and dark jeans with sneakers and I was dead. It was perfect because I was wearing a black skirt (long enough, thank you very much) and my bright blue bunny shirt and we were perfect. I don't even know why we were perfect but we just were.

Super 8 ended up being really, really awesome because I actually paid attention this time and Vincent didn't try to snog me. We sat next to each other and talked almost the whole movie (mostly me, though, I think he actually wanted to watch the movie)but other than that we were basically just friends going to the movies together. I was content with this but in the bathroom I opened up to Tifa:

"He didn't kiss me!"

"We're in public…and he's with his step-sister."

"Right!"

And then we proceeded to leave the girls bathroom and I chucked my extra-large Coke (in honor of Vincent) into the trashcan.

"Did you finish all of that?" Vincent had asked in alarm. When I had bought it he gave me the "are you serious?" look and I didn't make him pay for it. (even though he paid for my ticket) I had grinned at him.

"Yes sir! I just took the biggest piss too because by the second half of the movie I was like, ten minutes away from peeing in my seat and-"

"Well! We better get going, you guys!" Tifa told us, saving me from total embarrassment.

"Yeah," Cloud said with a nod. (His only line in this entire story.)

I blushed and stopped talking. Vincent looked at me like I had grown three heads. But I think it was a good look.

I followed Tifa and Cloud outside of the movie theater with Vincent right behind me. Tifa said she had to go back home because she had work in an hour and Cloud walked her to her car. (What happened after that I will never know, even though I do know and I just don't want to tell you.)

This left Vincent and I alone.

"I had fun," I told him and he grabbed my hand before I could say anything.

"Yuffie," He said and I smiled at him, squeezing his hand in mine.

"Vincent!" I exclaimed happily and threw my hands above my head.

He cleared his throat. His back was stiff and he looked awkward. I narrowed my eyes and gave him a questioning look. "Is everything alright?"

He couldn't look me in the eye. Oh my god, it was the piss thing. My bladder is turning him off.

"Would you, um, like to continue on accompanying me…on situations…similar…to these?"

I blinked and just stood there in the middle of the movie theater lobby. What exactly was he asking me? Did he want to go to the movies again or do different things like go get ice cream or something? It was funny, imagining Vincent and I going to go get ice cream (even though we did eventually do it) and smiling and laughing together (even though we've already done those things) and he'd probably get some dark and brooding ice cream (like an ice cream sandwich or something) and I'd get sprinkles everywhere. And we'd be happy, so, so very happy. And then I realized what he meant.

"Are you asking me out?"

"I guess you could call what I am doing…that," He said gruffly.

My eyes widened. OH HELL YES.

He looked startled and I noticed I said that out loud and very, very loudly, a large group of Asians (hello brethren!) looking over to Vincent and I with angry looks on their faces. I then cleared my throat in a similar fashion to him and scratched the back of my head. My backs stiffened too and I clenched my fist and deepened my voice.

"I would be very jovial and interested about joining you on outings such as these and I would thoroughly enjoy gaining the title of a friend that is a girl but it something more than a girl because they're romantically involved and I'm not good at imitating you, Vinny."

He stared at me for a long while and I wondered if he was contemplating whether or not he loved me (.oo1% of that happening) and then he kissed my cheek like a good gentleman does. He grabbed my hand and gave me a small smile. "May I accompany the lady to her car?"

"Hell yeah you can!"

And that's the story of how I got a boyfriend. The end.

I lied! (I do that a lot in this story)There is still a lot more to go on this story and this is not the climax.

So weeks passed and Vincent called me every now and then. I stopped by GameStop on weekends and I'd bring him food sometimes (because I'm a good girlfriend) like McDonald's because I effing love McDonald's. He'd told me before that he's not a fan of fast food but I disregard that every single time I order him a happy meal. I happily gave it to him on his lunch break on every Saturdays (which is when we always meet up) and he always blushes, tells me to stop it, and then eats in anyway. But I always make him give me the toy because I love the toy.

Sometimes I'd call him when I'm playing video games and we'd play Xbox Live together like the nerdy couple we were and kick complete and utter ass with our co-op skills. We became known as "Mr. and Mrs. Smith" around our local Xbox Live group. (Mostly because I'd chant the name repeatedly into my headset while kicking ass, as always.) Or he would come over my to house and I'd read my favorite chapters out of my book collection to him and he'd listen. He'd listen to anything I'd say and I never figured out why. At first, I thought his occasional "mhmm's" and "I see's" were his mindless attempt at fooling me, but I later learned that he actually was listening to me, every word I said, and that meant more to me than anything ever could.

We would go over to his house and I'd hang out with Tifa and even sometimes Cloud if he was over too. Tifa would cook some delicious meal or I'd prank call Pizza Hut until I got hungry and actually wanted to order some pizza. (They would usually refuse until I called back from another number with a fake voice.) Watching movies was a normal occurrence, with or without Tifa. I made Vincent re-watch Red vs. Blue with me over and over again one night at his house until I got dizzy from his kisses. But it never got dirty; at least I don't think so. He never touched me anywhere I wasn't comfortable and he made everything even more comfortable with his small murmurs and hand holdings.

It was March when my mom began to get sick again. She'd drop her utensils from her shaky hands during dinner and I'd have to help her in and out of bed and showers occasionally. She said she was taking her medication like she normally would but something just didn't feel right. I had to watch her a lot, so I spent most of my time downstairs with her in the living room. I did my homework on my father's old desk by the grand piano and would watch a small amount of television before my mom went to bed. I tried spending a lot of time with her by talking, but she started to become quieter and quieter as the days went by.

Things like that had happened beforehand in my life, so I didn't worry too much and never took her to the doctor. The only real thing I did was get her meds refilled.

I woke up the morning of May 2nd, 2011 feeling dead like usual, for I was not a morning person.

"Uhhhhhhhhhhh…," I groaned and threw my beeping phone to the ground. It went quiet, my breathing stopped, and I realized I had to go to school. "Uggghhhhh…," I said again.

Slipping out from underneath my wonderfully cozy blankets, I grabbed my robe and tied it around my shivering body. My mom always liked to keep the house incredibly cold (she was getting old) and much to my horror, it actually helped her. Me, being the heat and summer lover that I am, lived in the freezing temperatures begrudgingly and dealt with it, simply because I didn't want to upset my mother.

I almost fell down the stairs like normal and walked into the kitchen. My mother wasn't there (like she usually was) so I assumed was still asleep. I took this time to pump up the heat in the kitchen. I stood by the heater and thawed my cold toes.

"Uuuuuuhhhh," I said in pleasure.

My toaster fell victim to my cooking abilities when I forcefully shoved two waffles into its awaiting mouth. (Take that, waffles!) I then sat my ass down on a kitchen chair and sipped at some orange juice while my waffles cooked. (Burnt)

I looked to the clock above the stove and saw that it was six forty-five. Perfect. I like my morning's niiicee and sloooww.

When my waffles sprung from their confinements, I grabbed them and drowned them in syrup (low fat; mom) and grabbed a fork and knife. I didn't even both to sit at the kitchen table and I ate each waffle in three bites on the counter.

"Uuuummmmmm," I groaned at my full stomach. I put the dish and cup back into the dishwasher and slowly trudged my way upstairs. It felt like I was climbing a mountain.

I made it into my room surprisingly still alive and threw off my clothes. My dresser was open from my search for pajamas last night and I grabbed a purple dress (for the spring!) and debated between sneakers or flip flops. My eyes shot back and forth between my beloved orange shoes and small white sandals my mother had given me for my last birthday.

I picked the sneakers.

I dug the brush through my hair in one quick motion and grabbed my phone to annoy Vincent with an obnoxiously early good morning text even though he probably wouldn't reply.

Grabbing my black backpack from the corner of my room by the television and slinging it over my back, I made my way outside the door. I looked to my mother's room.

"I'm heading to school, mama! I'll see you later!"

I got no reply so I assumed she was just really, really asleep. I made my way outside into the cool, spring air and got into my little blue car. I sighed and turned on the engine and rubbed my eyes.

Gaia High School wasn't but ten minutes away (I still had no idea where the hell Vincent went to school.) so I drove slow and sang along to a CD I had made more morning such as these.

I pulled into my parking spot in student parking (the one I used every single day) and shut off my car. Turning my head I saw Tifa and Cloud holding hands (d'aaaww) and I sprinted out of my car to be annoying and ruin their fun.

"HEY GUYS!" I screamed behind them and jumped in between them, making their hands become unclasped. Tifa looked at me and laughed but Cloud wasn't as happy.

"Hey, Yuffie, you're energetic this morning," Tifa told me and Could told us bye after we entered the building. We (me) were probably embarrassing him with our best friend antics.

"Not really, but I saw you two and felt the need to be obnoxious," I told her and grinned.

"I didn't know that was a need, I thought you just do it without thinking," and I promptly slapped her.

Tifa opened her locker and I leaned against the one next to it, talking aimlessly about my adventures in gaming last night while I doubt she listened.

"Teeeefa, you're thinking about Cloud, aren't yeeewww?"

"And you're thinking about my stteeep-brrotthheerr," she teased.

I flushed. "Actually, five seconds I was, in fact, not thinking about him, but now I am and I must thank you for gracing me with such sexy thoughts."

"Please don't tell me Vincent is sexy," she said.

"But he so is!"

It was hard to deny it, but I think it was easier for Tifa considering she lived with him. I still had a hard time accepting that, the fact that my best friend lived with my boyfriend. I almost thanked god every night that they weren't actually related.

I said goodbye to Tifa and made my way into first period (English) with Mr. Angeal. The halls were mostly quiet by the time I used the bathroom and went to my locker to get my textbook. I sat down in my regular seat and noticed how Mr. Angeal forgot to shave.

"Good morning class, this morning we're going to…,"

"Uggggghhhhhhhhhhh," I said quietly and stuck a piece of gum into my mouth. I can't focus on books this early in the morning. I almost slammed my face down onto the desk in front of me.

It was about forty minutes into class when the intercom above us beeped. There was a pause and a breathy voice coming from the walls.

"Yuffie Kisaragi please report to the main office, Yuffie Kisaragi please report to the main office."

By the time the voice began my voice for the second time my bag was already over my shoulder and I was opening the classroom door. I'd get the homework from Tifa later. I didn't even bother listening to Mr. Angeal's goodbye.

I always loved times like this, when I got to be outside of the classroom while everyone else was inside of them. (this mostly happened when I was going to the bathroom) I didn't even think about why they would be calling me, the only thing that mattered was the fact that I got out of class this early in the morning.

The bell above the door to the office rang when I entered and it reminded me of the first day I walked into GameStop. My stomach fluttered and I smiled, walking up the main desk. I looked at the chubby lady we call our school secretary.

"I'm Yuffie Kisara…," I stopped when I saw the doctor.

He had a scruffy beard and shortly cropped hair and if I didn't have a boyfriend I would have found him handsome. He sat in one of the chairs against the walls of the office with a frown plastered on his face. My heart, shrinking to the size of dust, sank into my stomach.

"What are you doing here?" I asked. I recognized him. He was my mother's doctor.

"Yuffie, please follow me," He said and I didn't move. My eyes were wide and my breath hitched.

"Why are you at my school? What the hell caused you to come here?" I asked him with my fist clenched. Anger burned through my veins and I didn't know why. I didn't move. I never moved.

"Please, let's discuss this in private," but I refused. My feet were glued to the floor and nothing in this whole world could have made me move in that moment. All of the happiness that I was feeling in those past weeks, whether it was from Vincent or Tifa or beating a video game or going to McDonalds or seeing my mother smile and planting flowers was swiped away in a flood of darkness. My knuckles were white. My mother was dead.

I knew it before he even said it. I could tell so easily from his body language. Having spent all of those days in the hospital waiting room, I had seen countless doctors walk up to the sobbing families and tell them their loved ones weren't coming back. I knew the fake frown and the saddened voice until they bombarded you with papers and legal requirements. I hated doctors, then and there. They didn't care if your heart was breaking, they just wanted money.

"Yuffie, your mother..," but I didn't listen. I just turned around and left.

The highway buzzed with cars and the occasional motorcycle, much to my amusement. The air was smoggy due to my close proximity to the city and I knew I shouldn't have been there. But maybe I should have, because I didn't have anywhere else to go.

No one knew, I don't think. No one knew that I was out here on the side of the highway, getting looks from drivers driving home to their wives and children for their lunch break. They were going to hug their children while I go home to an empty house.

My eyes were dry. I didn't even think about it until later. For now I just walked, I walked as far away as I could from my revelation. My sneakers were scuffed from the dirt on the roads and my hair was a mess from the wind. The wind blew into my eyes, drying them even further, even though no tears threatened to fall. The fields from beyond the highways looked as comforting as they've always looked for me, on long car rides to the airport (we used to fly to Japan for Christmas with my grandmother, but she passed on in fifth grade.) I would look out my window and imagine rolling around in the soft field of grass and running around until my legs gave out. My mother used to say-

Well, she used to say a lot of things I never listened to, I suppose.

My mind was completely blank the entire time on the highway, my brain only picking up tid bits of my surroundings, like the pavement on my feet and the cars honking their horns at me. I ignored everything else.

Once I got off of the highway I subconsciously turned to the main road that lead to my neighborhood, the trees and signs becoming familiar to me. My throat was sore from my heavy breathing and my cheeks were wind whipped. I probably looked like a complete mess, but then, I thought I deserved to look terrible.

My neighborhood was a really, really small one filled with normal suburban families and normal kids with normal parents and normal pools with normal dogs. When my mother and I had moved in we were the only international family in the neighborhood and the housewives were wary when they brought over the classic cookies to welcome new families into the neighborhood.

We had bought one of the smaller houses of the lot, simply because we didn't need as much room as the five person families did. When our neighbors realized that it was only my mother and I (no father; the horror) living in the suburban home they were pretty shocked, I guess. But I didn't realize it when I was little. I had tried to go out and make friends but none of this kids were really inside of my age group, most of them way younger than me, or a few years older and didn't want me inside of my group.

But, I had met Tseng and Barrett through school so I guess I had a few friends, but they were both boys so my mom never saw me with friends over. Only when I became friends with Aerith did she realize that I wasn't socially inept and could, in fact, make a few friends if I tried.

I turned out to be a pretty big social butterfly if the time called for it, and I could make a few friends when I wanted to. I met Cloud awhile back in seventh grade and we've been close, you already know Tseng and Barrett's story, and Tifa's. And Vincent's.

Vincent.

I pondered over calling him for a moment, but I decided against it when I reached my house. There was no trace of an ambulance anywhere. It looked just like it did when I left this morning. The lights were still on and I could almost imagine the television playing in the living room with my mother knitting quietly.

I didn't want to go inside, so I didn't.

I sat down on the last step of my front porch and sat my chin in my hands, my arms being propped up by my legs.

I honestly just sat there for the longest time. I could imagine the neighbors whispering to themselves silently, "the poor girl…we should go help her…," but they wouldn't because that wouldn't be normal enough for them and I'm too much of an outsider to deserve any help.

Maybe I was just being a pessimist because my mother had just died.

I swallowed at the thought and reached up to touch my eyes. Nothing was coming out. I had no tears to shed. I started to feel bad; there was nothing I could give to mourn my mother. My eyes were the driest they've ever been in my life during the situation that should have made me cry the most.

I looked to the trees and the skies for answers, but all of them declined me and told me I should try again later.

My phone began to buzz after the first hour, and by then I had assumed that school was out and it was Tifa wondering where I was. I didn't answer. I didn't have the strength to answer. I didn't even think I had the strength to talk. Tifa would just be listening to me breathing.

The buzzing stopped and I sighed in relief, my thoughts drifting back to my surroundings, and eyes setting on top of the large magnolia tree in my front yard. I used to climb it when I was little, and by the time I was thirteen I had reached the top, accompanied with my scrapes and bruises from my past attempts. I was so proud of myself, and I once again felt like the ninja I knew I was.

I was about to go up and try to climb it again, to get up and up into the air, as far away as I could, when my phone buzzed again. My head shot down this time and I looked at the light illuminating from my pocket. I debated on pulling out but I decided not to, letting it ring, and I imagined Tifa angrily leaving another voicemail. Maybe she was beginning to worry.

It wasn't more than five seconds later when my phone continued to buzz and I tried to ignore it as much as I could, but I couldn't, as much as I tried. My attempts were in vain by the time whoever was calling me had called for the fifth time and I grabbed my phone from my pocket and chucked it at the magnolia tree. It hit the tree with a soft 'clunk' and snapped in half. It was only a matter of time until my home phone would begin to ring, with lawyers and funeral home directors and people to give me their condolences.

Then I realized how completely alone I was. I didn't have any other family member alive in the entire world right now. The Kisaragi Japanese family line was now reduced from two to one and it was up to me to either end it all or rebuild it. I was having a hard time making a choice.

I wish my father was still here. I wish I had known him. I wish I was actually sad when he died, I wish I had more memories of him than just coughing in his hospital bed. I wish he was there to pat me on the back and tell me everything's going to be alright even when it wasn't and I knew that no one was going to be coming to tell me everything was going to be okay. Because for once in my life (lie) everything was going so, so very wrong.

I barely noticed when their black car pulled up unto the curb by my lawn. They engine stopped and the car just sat there for a while, as if it was waiting for me to look at it. But I didn't look up. I didn't want to and I didn't think I could.

The car door opened and I heard a pair of shoes hit the road pavement, slowly walking over to my house. My eyes were set on the rocks by my feet, my hair shielding my face from the outside world, keeping me safe and sound and with lack of emotions.

The footsteps stopped when they were about a yard away from me. I could feel their stare, burning into my hair covered forehead and letting the gaze sit there for how knows long and I forgot they were there for awhile, until they finally spoke.

"Yuffie."

It was Vincent, but I had known that when I saw the black car. It was a no brainer; Tifa probably had to go to work and sent him to come and check up on me. It made perfect sense, really. But part of me wished it was Tifa there to be the first person I saw instead of Vincent. Tifa would understand if I yelled at her to go away.

He came closer and repeated my name until I shifted my legs, moving me slightly father away from him. I really, really didn't want to talk to him right now, because if I did talk about it, talk about everything (and nothing) going through my head right now I knew I'd burst from some unknown emotion I never wanted to find.

"Yuffie, are you alright?" He asked and I could hear the worry in his tone. And then I tensed because, gawd, I didn't want to make him worry about me. I didn't deserve to be worried about. I was just some little girl who wanted to be alone. I should have told him that, but I didn't. I just stayed silent while he sat down beside me.

"You can tell me, if you want to, I mean, I'll listen," and I almost started crying then and there because I was washed over with so much admiration for him because I knew he wasn't good at this. He didn't know what he was doing but he was doing it for me. Because I had a frown on my face (or did I? I didn't even know what I looked like then.) and wasn't speaking. And those few things made him concerned, concerned for me because he liked me.

And I don't even know why he liked me in the first place, because I wasn't anything special. I just liked video games.

But he wrapped one of his arms around me in a sort of bro-hug way but it wasn't like a bro-hug at all. It was normal and comforting in a way and my breath hitched and I wanted to tell him everything. I wanted to tell him that I didn't even know for sure if she was dead but I knew she was because she just wasn't there anymore. Because I knew I was so alone right now that no one was going to even be similar in the ways that my mother was similar to me. I won't have anyone to laugh with about learning English or how she didn't know how to use a frying pan; just a wok. And that she hated flying but she did it because she wanted to go back to our real home. And then I wanted to struggle out of Vincent's arms and fly to Japan.

If there was something I wanted more than anything in that moment it was to sit at my old house in Japan and drink tea with my grandmother and look at old photos of my father. I suddenly wanted a family more than anything else in this entire world but I knew I wasn't going to get one. Because the last person who ever loved me was gone, and all I had was this crazy boy who thought I was special.

"Yuffie, talk to me," he said.

And then my eyes went red and my stomach flopped and I moved out of his grasp. I looked straight into his eyes and opened my eyes, ready to scream my heart out and tell him to just fucking leave me alone but I couldn't because I realized how special he was to me. And he was the person I never wanted to lose, because he was there, right next to me, caring. And that was all that I needed.

I let out the biggest sob I have ever sobbed in my life.

My eyes closed and my mouth wiggled and I made very loud noise that was similar to a scream but it wasn't. It was just a sound of pure agony. And I set my face slowly in my hands and I just cried. I cried because I wanted my mother to not die and for Japan because it was my true home, and for Vincent because I liked him suddenly more than anyone else in this world right now.

His hand rubbed my back while I bawled into my hands, not knowing why I was crying, but he hadn't left yet, so everything was okay. Somehow, everything was okay.

He whispered some comforting "shh's" to me in his Vincent voice and I almost started laughing in hysterics at him because he was actually really bad at this. He wasn't one of those dramatic 'oh baby I love you so much everything's going to be okay' boyfriends because everything, despite what I just said, wasn't going to be okay.

But he just rubbed my back in the way that Vincents should, because Vincents are socially awkward and didn't know how to properly comfort their girlfriends, but that was okay because I preferred it that way.

My shoulders shook with my weeping and I soon ran out of breath. I just sat there for awhile, gathering my breath while Vincent's hands traveled from my back to my shoulders to help me sit back up. I tried closing my eyes so he wouldn't see my bloodshot eyes that were similar in color to his red ones but I failed miserably.

I just looked at him. I took a deep breath and said, "Ninja's aren't supposed to cry."

He frowned. "Ninja's can cry as much as they want."

I sniffled. "My mom's dead," I said and looked at him. His eyes widened a smidge.

"Yuffie…," He started.

"I left before they even told me but I know it's true. Because I know for a fact that she's not inside there," I pointed behind me to my front door, "making dinner and waiting for me to get home from school, because it's like five right now and I totally would have been home right now and she's not freaking out yet like she always does, so she's not there and she only buys groceries on Wednesday," I said, and it was Thursday. Hope was lost by a day.

"Do you know how?"

"No. I really don't want a doctor to give me a mental image of my mother having an epileptic attack, so I really, really don't want to know, so can I move in with you?" I blurted out and I saw that I was crying again, fine tears tainting my red face. He wiped them away with the back of his hand. I think he laughed but I couldn't remember.

"No," he said and I frowned, "but you can talk to me."

And I think that's all he and I really wanted at that moment, to talk to each other, well, me talking to him about my feelings. My brain told me I didn't want to tell him more about my mother but I ended up doing so, talking about how she never found out about my stash like I thought she was going to, and my plan for showing her the day she drives me to college was now completely foiled. And that I used to steal her knitting needles and stick them up my nose when I was a little kid and she would dip them in bleach for a day. (Which never really made sense to me.)

He held my hand and nodded with me and let me put my head on his shoulder when I started to cry again because I missed her and not just a normal miss, but knowing that I should have been eating dinner with her right now then sitting on the porch and crying into a GameStop cashiers shoulder made me miss her more than anything.

Then Tifa showed up after her shift at Food Lion ended (she was a bagger; it was hilarious) and sat on the other side of me for about five minutes before she made me go inside. But when she arrived I was a crying mess again because I really wanted to eat my mom's wonton soup but I couldn't because I didn't know how to make it. So I made Tifa promise me to take me out to Chef Lee whenever she was free and she said she would even though she just wanted to get me inside.

So I sat at my kitchen table with no wonton soup in front of me with Vincent next to me pushing back my hair and Tifa was on the phone talking to the hospital because all I could do was talk about my mom at that time.

"And she used to m-make me go to bed at nine thirty…," I wailed again and Vincent stroked my hair. I didn't like it after awhile so I pushed him away and grabbed the ponytail from my wrist and put my hair up in a terrible fashion. When Tifa emerged from the kitchen she almost laughed at me, then she saw my red face.

She walked over to me and continued to touch my hair, putting it up in a better way than I had because I was bad at everything. She spoke from behind me:

"The doctor said it was SUDEP, and that it was fast and-"

"STOP IT!" I screamed at the top of my lungs and put my hands over my ears.

Ididn'twanttoknow

Ididn'twanttoknow

Ididn'twanttoknow

Ididn'twanttoknow

Ididn'twanttoknow

Ididn'twanttoknow

Ididn'twanttoknow

"Tifa," I heard Vincent mumble and she gasped and said she was sorry but I didn't care.

I saw my mother getting her breakfast like always, in her robe and hair all put up nice because her whole being was nice despite her crushing grip on my hand, and she was getting some waffles because we both likes waffles. She'd accidentally burn them but she wouldn't throw them away like I would because she's a better person than I ever was.

But when she would grasp the waffles her hand would shake and the tremor would lead up to her whole arm and eventually her torso would be convulsing in such a violent way it made me want to throw up. And I almost did, too. I gagged and covered my mouth because I really, really didn't want to throw up all over Vincent.

And the tremor would take over entire body until her legs couldn't support her anymore and she fell to the ground to hit her head. And she'd try to scream out for help but she couldn't because the tremors were inside of her now, taking over her vocal chords and making her shake all over the floor. And it was the most horrifying image to ever grace my mind, but then she'd stop and everything would go silent. And she'd be dead, because her body couldn't handle it, and she'd go to say hi to my father.

SUDEP: Sudden Unexplained Death in Epilepsy

So I think I did barf, all over the kitchen table because I now had a fine and deep image of my mother's cold, dead body on the floor so I left before I started to cry again. I ran away, up to my room and locked the door. I heard Tifa and Vincent yelling after me but I ignored them because I wanted to ignore everyone, including the world because even the world was becoming a bastard and changing from the world I knew back in kindergarten.

I knew I could never live in this house again because this was where my mother had died, in my kitchen, so I needed to move. I then began to pack everything I saw into my backpack that was still on my shoulder (Vincent had tried to take it off but I refused) which consisted of two shirts, one pair of underwear, no bras, Final Fantasy X, a pair of my mom's stolen knitting needles, and a picture of my mother and father when they were getting married. And then unplugged my Xbox, picked it up, and opened the door to Vincent and Tifa.

Vincent was in mid knock (I hadn't even noticed him knocking) and ended up lightly hitting me in the face, his knuckles brushing my dry tears before he stopped and paused. I paused too, looking at his eyes, and saw Tifa with bloodshot ones. And then Vincent wrapped his arms around my Xbox and me and pulled me (us) into a hug which almost crushed my poor console. I would have cared before, but now I just let him hold me with as much strength that he would muster.

And he kissed the top of my head and said that they were there for me, but I didn't cry this time because I was more anxious to get out of that house than anything. So when he pulled away I looked at Tifa and let out a small, "Please..," which basically meant please please please take me with you to wherever you are going I cannot be alone right now.

She nodded and took my hand (Vincent taking the Xbox) and took me out to their two cars. She asked me who she wanted to drive with and I just looked at them dumbfounded.

"I don't want to be alone," I said.

So Tifa nodded and we all piled up into her pick-up truck she got teased about all the time in school for but I actually really liked it and had named it Hurly. But it only had room for three people so I had to sit in Vincent's lap to buckle in my Xbox. This was only allowed to happen after I started to scream again.

And the road was bumpy and I almost thought things were about to get sexual with me and Vincent with Tifa right next to us but then we pulled into their beautiful home. I grabbed my Xbox before anyone else could and hopped out of the car, the console almost slipping out of my hands.

When we got inside Tifa's mom and Vincent's dad looked at me with the 'aw poor baby everything's going to be okay look' and I got really angry really fast but Vincent stopped me before I said anything. He grasped my hand and intertwined with my fingers and I knew I loved him then and there.

I never called the doctor when I was settled into Tifa's bedroom, a cup of orange juice by my side with Vincent plugging my Xbox into her television which was so much bigger than mine. I got really excited for a moment and then I felt Tifa's phone buzz.

I wasn't thinking.

"Hello?" I said when I picked up, and Tifa gaped at me.

I listened to the man on the other line. I swallowed, and in the most professional voice I could muster I ask him if his refrigerator was running.

The man started to laugh a little but then asked me about what funeral home I wanted to use and suggested coffin prices and at the word 'coffin' I promptly threw Tifa's phone against the wall and snapped it in half.

"Sorry," I said.

Tifa just stared for a moment until she said she was surprised I even picked up.

"Why did they call your cell phone number? You aren't on any of my hospital files unless you're actually related to me but you don't look Japanese," I said.

"I gave them my number to call when I contacted the hospital."

And then I knew I loved Tifa, too, but in a sisterly way because she was the best sister (but never mother) I could ever have. And I knew she was going to take care of me to the best of her ability and maybe things were going to be okay until they weren't, like when I have to dress up in black to go to her funeral.

But it wasn't time for that yet and when Vincent handed me my Xbox controller I started to cry again. But he didn't do anything and he just sat down next to me, grabbing the second controller and played video games with me while Tifa made fun of us and drank my orange juice.

Vincent was really good (like always) and my hands were really shaky- unsure at first so he beat me the first few times. But after a good hour I felt my butt getting sore and my hands going to the buttons at all the right times and my eyes were finally dry when I saw my name on the high scores list.

A month had passed and Vincent graduated before I had even started setting up details for my mother's funeral. I wore a white dress and my sneakers and it was really funny to see him in a graduation gown but he looked sexy as always. I asked Tifa if I could bring an "I love you, Vincent Valentine!" sign to hold up during the graduation but she said that I'd probably get kicked out.

And it turns out he was already accepted into this really, really good college and just never told me. So when he came to see us, diploma and all, I kissed him with all of my might before he even got to say hello to his dad.

Tifa and I took our final exams (I got exempt from a few, fuck yeah.) with bad attitudes but we screamed and shouted when we drove home together in her car on the last day of school. We picked up Vincent from his shift at GameStop and then Tifa treated us all to a wonderful dinner at T.G.I Fridays.

I ended up moving back into my old house, getting loans from the bank that I had to pay off before I died, and faced my inner demons with confidence. Tifa and Vincent helped me scrub down the entire kitchen and made me stand back up when I fell onto the floor in a sobbing mess. And I stood back up like the badass ninja I was and made that kitchen cleaner and more disinfected than it's ever been in its' whole life.

Tifa's mom and Vincent's dad ended up buying me a nicely sized television for my bedroom, which I accepted with huge hugs, and I plugged it into my wall and flipped on my PS3 and played Final Fantasy XIII with all of its graphical beauty. But I never brought my video games and consoles from out underneath my bed, and they stayed there, hidden, until I moved out for college a year later.

But it's not time for that.

I was wearing an orange skirt and a white tank top with socks. My television in my room was on and some One Piece was spewing out of its speakers but I wasn't looking. Outside of my window was a black car and I knew exactly who it was.

I didn't turn off the television and I left my bedroom, running downstairs to open the front door. My wonderful boyfriend greeted me with his sexiness when I opened the door and I smiled.

"You're beautiful," He said before I could even open my mouth. My smile dropped and I looked down at myself.

"I look normal today!" (The horror!) I said and twirled around in my skirt, "But this skirt is very flow-y. I feel like a princess."

"I want to take you somewhere," he said and it was 5:47 on a Tuesday night in the middle of June. My smile returned (I was smiling more these days.) and I grabbed his hand.

"Take me awwwaaaayyyyyyy!" I yelled and let him guide me into his car and when he turned on the radio I immediately changed it to the CD option, letting the sounds of the CD's I've made him over the recent weeks fill my ears.

"You never take these things out, do you?" I asked and he shook his head.

"They remind me of you," he said and I smiled.

"That makes sense. I did make them, you know," and he knew, because I made them on his laptop with his blank CD's but with my fingers.

It was silent then, for a little while. I asked him where we were going but he wouldn't answer. He just kept driving until we turned and he told me to close my eyes. I was surprised, for Vincent never was one for surprises, but I did as I was told and covered my eyes with my hands. (Only to peek through the slits of my fingers.)

"You're taking me to GameStop?" I asked him when the car stopped and the engine died. He sighed.

"I told you not to look," He said and I lowered my hands.

"GameStop is closed on Tuesdays!"

"Exactly," he said and he held up the keys to the store and I died then and there.

So I bolted out of the car and raced him to the front door, even though he didn't run until I tripped on the sidewalk and he caught me because he's a good boyfriend. And he opened the door to the GameStop with a soft clink and the bell overhead us rang just like the first day I met him.

And it was only us in there. The lights were off and all of the demo consoles were dark and it was kind of spooky until he kissed my temple. I giggled and ran over to the New Releases section behind the cash register counter. I growled.

"These babies have been mocking me for weeks! Agh! Vinny, I love you, I really do," and I meant it because I loved him more than anyone else in the world.

He never said it back, because that's how he is, silent but loving. I know he does, deep down in his heart, but I'm still waiting for the day where he whispers it into my ear when I'm not expecting it.

I grabbed the case of Modern Warfare 3 and kissed it. "You're gonna be mine, all mine in three weeks, you got that?" I asked the case and Vincent laughed at me. And then I got down on my hands and knees and got under the counter to look at all of the gum left behind by bored cashier workers.

"Gross," I muttered and stood up. I opened the cash register, jumping at the loud 'ding!' and touched the money and for a split second I thought about stealing it all and using it to throw my mom the best and most fun funeral in the entire world because that's what she would have wanted.

But Vincent stopped me by smirking at me, as if reading my mind, and pulled me away from the register, closing it shut. I growled and pushed him, laughing, and ran around the store.

"This is so cool!" I said to him, throwing my hands up in the air.

And suddenly he was behind me, breathing into my ear and I hoped and wished with all that I had that he would tell me he loved me. But he didn't and it was okay, because I loved him and he got me into GameStop when it wasn't open. And then he kissed me like he loved me which I knew he did.

Somehow we slid down onto the ground and my hands were on his face and hair while his were holding my waist and we just kissedkissedkissed until we were breathless. And then we stopped and I laughed, took in a huge gulp of air, and went back to kissing him.

He growled and kissed me harder until my lips were bruised but I liked it. But it never got sexual. It never did get sexual. Not until waaayyyyy later, and at that moment we were content with ourselves and our bodies and all we wanted was each other but we could deal with fingers and lips for awhile before we needed anything else because I loved him.

So I stood up, breathing heavily, and ran towards the door. Before I left I looked back to him, standing way back in the used game section and he was just staring at me like he always does and I smiled at him as big as I could muster. And then I sprinted out the door and I felt his footsteps following me. I looked to the sky and yelled, "No one can catch The Great Ninja Yuffie!" but I knew someone could. I wasn't inescapable because I had given my heart to someone who deserved it.

And I didn't stop running until he caught me and I knew I never wanted to be let loose again.

I'd like to thank: Relient K, A Day To Remember, and The Wonder Years, my bed for letting me sit on it for three days while I wrote, Cool Ranch Doritos, Coke, my sister for playing Kingdom Hearts and giving me this idea, Microsoft Word, and Vincent and Yuffie for being the best characters a gamer could ask for.

And you guys, for reading this.