For SasuSaku month. It's for the prompt "birthday" under week 4 "Special Occasion"

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto.

A splat in the face

"I've told you guys a million times: I. Don't. Want. A. Cake.

Sasuke crossed his arms and stood firmly, as if to prove his point.

"But Sasuke-kun," piped Sakura, her green eyes shining in his face pleadingly, "we agreed that ―"

"No," he said sternly, turning away from her shining eyes.

"But ―"

"No."

Sakura's eye started to twitch. "Sasuke-kun, it's ―"

"No."

Naruto stomped his foot on the ground and pointed at Sasuke. "Teme, you're gonna get a cake for your eighteenth birthday, and you're gonna like it!" he roared, spewing spit at Sasuke's face. He grabbed Sakura's arm and began dragging her away from their friend. "C'mon, Sakura-chan, let's go before he destroys all the bakeries."

"I already did that," Sasuke called after them. He turned in the opposite direction to smirk at his ingenious until what felt like a boulder collided into his head. He sincerely wished Sakura had never acquired that super strength.

Sasuke lay down on some shaded grass, eyes closed and too hot to move. Curse his birthday for being in the summer. It was way too hot today even in the shade; curse fate for making today warm. At least he could enjoy some quiet alone time.

"Yo, Sasuke."

Or not.

"You can't convince me to come to your surprise party," Sasuke said, not opening his eyes.

Kakashi's visible eye twitched. How'd he know? "Oh, but I wasn't taking you to a surprise party."

"I'm not getting laid for my birthday."

Damn. Kakashi roughly shoved a seductively clad woman into a bush. "I'd never let that happen to one of my students."

"You're certainly not making me eat cake."

Kakashi ground his teeth, his fingers itching to drive a Chidori into the boy's arrogant duck-butt face. Too bad he was under specific orders not to do that.

"How 'bout a Happy Birthday then?" Kakashi said instead. Sasuke gave a grunt of thanks, and then Kakashi got an idea. He had a "mission" to do so this might help. "You know, Sakura's at Naruto's place and they're making a cake for you right now."

Sasuke snorted. "I destroyed all the bakeries and Sakura can't cook." He remembered a time when Sakura made onigiri for him and he almost puked on her shirt. But she looked so charming when cooking.

"Oh, but Naruto can cook, and they're all alone right now. Who knows how long it'll be before he makes a move on her and ―"

There was a loud vroom! and a cloud of dust as Sasuke rushed in the direction of Naruto's apartment.

When he arrived, he listened for any sounds of his teammates. What he heard horrified him.

"Is it too big?" asked Naruto.

"Nah, it's perfect," came Sakura's voice.

"We need to be careful or ―"

"Aah!"

Sasuke heard enough. He wrenched open the door, expecting the worst. Instead he found a fully clothed Sakura colliding into him and knocking him down followed by a large, circular white thing splatting in his face.

"Cake," he said stupidly, smelling the semi-sweet smell of the stuff that clogged his nose. "Carrot cake."

"Sasuke-kun! What're you doing here?" asked Sakura. "Uh oh, the cake. Maybe we can still salvage some of the pieces." Naruto handed her a plate and fork and she scraped off as much frosting and cake off his face.

"So Sasuke-kun, why are you here again?" she repeated as she stood over him.

"I, uh, I thought . . ." his voice trailed into inaudible murmurs.

"Thought what?"

"Eh, I better tell Kakashi that the party will have to wait for a while since this dude―" he pointed at Sasuke "― ruined his cake." Naruto pulled Sasuke to a chair, put some cake in front of him then left.

"You gonna eat?" asked Sakura.

"No." Sasuke pushed the plate far, far away.

Sakura pulled the zipper of her shirt down enough to expose just the top of her chest. She leaned across the table and put on her best pout.

"Sasuke-kun . . ." she purred.

Sasuke gulped, his eyes zooming in on the inside of the unzipped collar. He could feel his ears turn red as Sakura's hand trailed up his chest. "No Sakura, I don't want ―"

He didn't finish as a large wad of cake was shoved in his mouth.

Enjoy your cake, Sasuke!

Made some last minute edits too.