Disclaimer: I own nothing. The characters should pray for their good fortune.

Title: Why Can't I Be Like That

Summary: Jack wants to be like Barbosa, and Barbosa wants to be like Jack. Can they make each other finally accept who they are?

Rating has changed from this chapter. Also this is the last chapter.

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Barbosa was often considered a cut-throat pirate, and anyone who had ever saw him would never forget it, if they lived long enough. He had no problem executing or torturing people. Usually when word spread that he was in town windows and doors were shut, locked, and bolted, while the residents hid in their closets. Everyone feared his brutality, skill, and status.

The tales that spread about the Black Pearl during the time that the crew and captain were cursed were proof of Barbosa's cruelty. There were almost always no survivors' and those that did survive were scarred for life. He sank many ships and watched as the survivors swam around helplessly in the water, dying from injuries sustained during the fight, or the sharks who hungrily chewed on the easy meal. He was notorious for his cruel treatment of prisoners, especially those of the navy.

It was well-known that he was a skilled fighter, dispatching many men in battle. They died many different ways, and it seemed he was not obliged to give them an easy or quick death. A few lucky ones were pierced through the heart, while the unlucky lot lost limbs or were injured and left to slowly die. His crew was not much better, for they feared turning soft, and being punished like Jack Sparrow.

All around word had spread of Captain Barbosa and his brutal crew. Many avoided the talking about him, for they believed it was a bad omen. Even his loyal crew had dared not mention his name without the title, even in casual conversation. His status as captain had automatically put him a step above them, and they not dare question it.

Still, Barbosa was unhappy at the legacy he had created for himself. He was currently residing in the Captain's cabin of the Pearl mapping out his next destination. The candle light was barely illuminating the room. He had all his maps and charts splayed out as he hunched over them to see the finer details on the maps. The chair he was sitting in was hard and his back was beginning to cramp from leaning over so long. He was finding it hard to concentrate at all.

His mind was roaming over his life and what he had achieved. He knew he should be happy at the reputation he had managed to carve out, but he wasn't. Men quaked in fear at the mention of his name, and merchants always prayed that he steer of them to ensure them a safe voyage. Even his own crew jumped whenever he walked into the room. The only person who dared stand against him was that cocky little bastard, Jack Sparrow. Yet that's exactly who he wished he could be.

To Barbosa, Jack had everything any man could wish for. He had the charm that everyone inevitably fell for. The wenches in Tortuga practically fell into his lap. He could go to any tavern, and not only did most of them recognize him, but they all competed for his attention. Even Elizabeth had questioned her loyalty to Will for a while after his attempts to seduce her. Barbosa deeply wished that he could get one to come near him, let alone have all the benefits Jack had. The wenches were so terrified of him they usually tried to hide when he and his crew showed up. It disappointed him immensely, and he found his needs were hardly ever taken care of.

Also, Jack found his way out of situations that were dire to anyone else. Somehow he always had a plan, and just enough luck to see it through, no matter how ridiculous it was. Barbosa knew that if he was ever caught by the navy or anyone else, that he would never be able to escape. He didn't have the knowledge or luck to execute an escape plan by himself. He had always left that up to Jack. He relied on his reputation to keep the thoughts of pursing him out of people's minds.

Another thing Barbosa wished he could have was a friend. Jack did betray his friends on occasion, and made many enemies that way. However, he did have a few good ones who he could confide in and who would help him out of his sticky situations. Gibbs, was one friend who Jack seemed to have a special relationship with, because Gibbs could get Jack to tell the truth, even when he didn't want to. Gibbs also protected Jack when he was in trouble, like when he came back to rescue him from the hangman's noose, and when Jack, Will, Elizabeth, and Barbosa all had guns drawn ready to shoot each other. Gibbs had taken Jack's side and kept a gun on Barbosa the entire time, even though he wasn't involved in the conflict.

Jack did feel compassion for others, even though he tried to hide it. Barbosa almost wished that he could have a connection with another person. However, his reputation, and need to intimidate those around him to keep them in line prevented it. He had to remain rigid when in reality all he wanted was to let go and be happy for a change. He was hardly ever happy, and it was something he desired most.

It made him even bitterer that these thoughts were not occasional. They happened often, even more so when Jack was around. Barbosa would sit by himself alone and think of all the fun Jack had, and all things he wished he could do but couldn't. It was suffocating and made him resentful of himself, which in turn made him meaner, thus distancing himself father from the life he wished he could live. It was a vicious cycle.

In truth, it would be hard for Barbosa to be like Jack though. He hardly ever thought before he acted, and so his movements were sloppy and uncoordinated compared to the swift, sure movements Jack made. Also, he was nowhere near as intelligent, and had never even been to school as a child. He was taught the basics by his parents, but nothing more. Of course, his physical being was completely different too. He was taller and more muscular than Jack and so sneaking around and performing the same stunts would be nearly impossible.

He did remember one time when he had tried to reach out and help someone. The Pearl had been captured by another pirate crew when Jack was captain before the mutiny. The crew was locked down in the brig on the lowest deck. However there was another cell on the floor up from the last. That was the cell that Jack and Barbosa were placed in. The captain it seemed wanted to keep the Pearl so he had two ships. Jack was being mouthy the entire time, which didn't bode well with the captain or his crew. He was taken to the captain's cabin so he and the captain could have a little chat, as it was said. Barbosa remembered waiting in the cell by himself for what seemed like an eternity. He half expected Jack's lifeless body to be thrown overboard and never spoke of again, but he was returned. However, seeing the man dragged back to the cell and thrown in the corner where he curled up into a ball was not something he expected. He looked him over and saw that he looked awful. Then small sobs began to emerge from Jack's corner, and his body started to shake. Barbosa crawled over the corner and tried to comfort Jack the best he could. He tried to figure out what was wrong, but got no answer. Finally, he just pulled Jack into his lap and let him cry into his chest, while rubbing small circles on his back. Finally Jack fell asleep. The next day Jack came up with an escape plan and everyone was back on the Pearl watching the other ship sink, gone forever, along with the captain and what was left of the crew who were tied the mast awaiting their fate.

He did notice something was off about Jack after that. He seemed more vulnerable, though he tried to act the opposite. He also seemed like he was in pain. Barbosa had told him to go rest after the other ship was completely submerged underwater, but made sure the crew didn't notice. He tried to be a little nicer and helped Jack out more too. He didn't need to be told what happened, because he was sure he already knew. That was the one time he could remember being proud of himself for something he did.

Then he remembered the mutiny, and the utter look of betrayal on Jack's face. Bitterly he thought about how he had robbed himself of his the one possible friendship he had.

He decided to clear his head by going for a walk. After all, he wasn't getting work done in here, and he wasn't tired. He walked around on deck for a bit admiring the moonlight. The moon sure was bright tonight. So bright in fact, that it seemed like white sunlight. He walked up the stairs, and upon reaching the top saw Jack sitting on a crate drinking, by himself.

He noticed the sad look Jack wore, and the tension rising between them. He decided to break the silence between them. "Lovely night isn't it."

"Yes, not a cloud in the sky and a nice temperature to boot." Jack told him. Barbosa could sense the weak act from him though, and could tell he was quite miserable, despite the half heated attempt to seem interested. It still made him feel put out however. After all, it wasn't like he was the cause for Jack's depression.

"What's wrong lad?" Barbosa tried to be nice. Seeing how miserable Jack was made him realize that he needed to use a different approach.

Sighing Jack answered. "I wish I wasn't so soft. I wish I could do the same things you do. I don't have the physical strength to take down enemies with purely that alone. I can't intimidate someone that easily. People take advantage of meself way too easily. Also, I have a conscience that I hate, but can't get rid of. So, I could never live up to the real expectations of a pirate." Barbosa noticed he wouldn't make eye contact and made no move to get up either, but instead directed his gaze to the ocean. This was troubling to him.

Then he suddenly thought about the incident that had come to his mind earlier, and wondered if that could be the problem. So he said "Is this about that incident that happened eleven years ago 'cause that wasn' 'ur fault…."

However Jack cut him off by yelling "No!" Barbosa abruptly stopped and listened. "But thanks for reminding me of that." Now he knew that he probably should not have mentioned that since it was still a sore spot and would more than likely always be one.

However, Jack's speech did make him realize something he thought suddenly. It wasn't all fun and games having Jack's life. It was possibly harder and more stressful than Barbosa's and he wondered if that's why Jack drank all the time, to escape reality. Suddenly he felt better about himself, and felt better in his own skin.

Jack did say something about a definition to piracy though, and it wasn't as cut and dry as it seemed to be. Barbosa decided to correct his thinking. "So, you think that being a pirate means being brutal do ye'. Well your considered one, and ye' are doing just fine. 'ur just different, always 'ave been."

"Yes, but when people are remembering great pirates' years from now I won't be one of 'um." Apparently that hadn't worked so it was time to try something else now.

"People will remember ye' not 'cause ye' were some bloody thirsty killer, but 'cause ye' weren't. People will want to tell stories about ye' 'cause they are adventurous, not bloody. They can tell their children tales of a great pirate, and they grow up thinkin' 'bout piracy like some romantic fairytale. They won't want 'em to know how it truly was. The reason ye' get people ta' believe ye' so easily is 'cause people don't wanna see the truth." Barbosa watched carefully this time and noticed Jack seemed to take that in much better. He was satisfied that he had finally gotten though that thick skull.

"Hmmm…. Maybe your right." Jack smiled and it made Barbosa happy too. He finally felt like some strange tension was relived between them that night, and that things would get better from here on out, so he smiled too.

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