Part One

SH: Getting milk

JW: You? Get milk? Are you feeling well?

SH: Yes I was just passing the store and I thought we needed milk. I bought four gallons.

JW: Thank you... please leave on whole entire gallon free from experimentation. And I don't mean between the four jugs- I want one whole jug to myself!

SH: But I've gotten them for a purpose. What do you mean leave a whole gallon? I need them.

JW: I should have known. You only told me because you didn't want me to use them, didn't you?

SH: Yes. They are in the fridge. I will be back later. For now, Lestrade has me at a new case. Solved easily, leave my milk alone.

JW: Next to the severed head, I presume. You don't need my help on the case, do you? I won't make any promises about the milk

SH: Not this one. I've just seen the scene and it is hatefully dull. The murderer was the son. How predictable. And I've gotten rid of the head. Your over reactions got annoying after the third time. Besides, I kept the eyes... Don't microwave anything.

JW: Good to know. I'm glad that wretched head is out of the fridge- don't bother to tell me where it is now. I haven't microwaved anything since the "drugs bust"

SH: Damned drugs bust! I still am unable to find my scalpel! Anderson most likely misplaced it somewhere stupid. I swear, talking to him, about him, or even at him causes my IQ level to drop drastically! I am on my way back. Put on some tea.

JW: I found your scalpel in the garbage disposal. I'm afraid you'll need to buy a new one. It would be preferable if Anderson weren't on the squad but consider that there could always be someone worse- wait, I take that back. Just make sure that his head doesn't end up in our fridge. I don't mind his eyes or fingers though. ;)

SH: Sounds like a plan. I think I see him across the street actually. I am half tempted to pull over the cab and kidnap him- donate his body to science and all... However! It's not worth the effort. And who puts a scalpel in the garbage disposal? I'll be back in about ten minutes. Have tea ready

JW: No he isn't. Besides Lestrade would- but you don't care about that. Anderson probably knocked it into the sink since YOU left it on the counter. You really ought to clean every once in a while. I have the kettle on. See you soon.

SH: If I cleaned I would never be able to find anything, it would all be in the wrong spots. I whole-heartedly blame Anderson, in any case. And I want tea.

JW: I'm sure you'd manage. As for blaming Anderson I wouldn't expect anything less from you. You'll get your tea! Shut your yapping skullhole!

SH: I take offense to that. If anything you are the skull. Quite the honor I'd say.

JW: Take offense to what? Yes I know that I'm your skull. Most people would take offense to being referred to as such. I was trying to quote a motion picture.

SH: I take offense to you calling me the skullhole- you are the skull. Be happy. And I'm coming up the stairs. I want tea.

JW: Whatever. Tea is ready. please tell me you haven't done any experiments in the kettle.

SH: Not that I remember. Or, at least recently.

JW: Thank God we have extra-strength dish soap

SH: Yes, good. But did you use the dish soap before you put in the tea?

JW: Yes, I did. Thank goodness. Why are we still texting?

SH: I don't know. Perhaps because I didn't feel like yelling across the room?

JW: I've had enough. Tea is ready. I'm coming out. Are there any glasses I shouldn't use?

SH: Are there any glasses you *should* use. That is the question.

JW: Sherlock, how is it I live with you?

SH: Because no where else would take you? Purely conjecture though.

JW: Just get your damn tea.

SH: Bring it here.

JW: Fine. I'm not your maid, though.

SH: Ha! I win.

JW: Stop gloating. I'm not in the mood to argue.

SH: That's why I won.

JW: Shut up. I'm bringing your tea.

SH: I know.