Wherein Kum is made into Disney. I don't understand this either. But I heard that Chord was being downgraded and was furious. So…I made him into a merman. I think Freud would find me fascinating. And I'm sure this has been done, at least to klaine. Oh well. Cliches are fun.

Disclaimer: They're demoting Chord and you think I own this show? No.

Bored, Bored, Bored. Oh, a fish! Bored.

Sam rolled onto his back. As much as he adored water, and all it's many glories, he was bored. Being a Prince of the Sea was boring sometimes. He could go over and have some fun with the dolphins, or he could go find out whether his sisters were doing anything interesting.

Probably not. Quinn and Brittany were two of the six Princesses of Atlantica. Princesses of the Atlantica didn't do much along the lines of worthwhile things. Sam had asked for warrior training, but as the only Prince of Atlantica of course he was too precious. So he was bored.

"Sam!" Sam pulled himself upright with a flick of the tail and grinned at Mercedes. "Where have you been?"

"Swimming." Mercedes rolled her eyes. She wasn't a princess, but a warrior. Sam had always admired her deep blue tail -he thought it looked better than his own light green one.

"That was implied, Samuel. I meant what are you doing outside the palace?" The shark teeth on her belt clinked as she shook with fury. "You are meant to be meeting with your father and your sisters!"

"Quinn said she'd cover for me." Mercedes crossed her arms. Sam winced. "The coral is out in bloom!"

"Which means the fishes are swarming, which means the fishermen are out, which means there are nets and boats and who knows what else! And sharks Sam! Your father will murder you-no, he'll murder me!" Sam guiltily shifted his fins.

"But he's got Quinn and Brittany and Santana and Tina and Rachel and Lauren to occupy him! Besides, I'm allowed to go to the surface, shouldn't I at least be allowed an unescorted swim around the seas?" Mercedes sighed. It was just her luck to get the disobedient son of the sea as her charge. "I've showed up for every concert, every rehearsal, every walk around the gardens-"

"And thus you aren't yet dead." Mercedes gestured with her sword. "And seeing as it's my job to make sure you stay that way, let's get back to the palace!"

"What, you don't think you could take on a horde of sharks?" Sam grinned. Mercedes glared. "And maybe if you taught me to fight with a sword, I'd be able to take one on too."

"You can stick with music Sam. Now come on." Mercedes grabbed the tip of Sam's tail and yanked. Sam yelped. "March!"

Sam considered his sisters a blessing and a curse. They mercilessly teased Sam (trouty lips was still whispered beneath hands), but they were also willing to shamelessly lie their pretty little tails off.

"Highness, Sam was fetching my comb from my chambers." Quinn attested. Her big blue grey eyes were wide and guileless. "I'm sorry, but we just didn't realize how long he would take. Sorry Daddy."

"I guess trouty lips was distracted." Santana tossed in. Sam reminded himself that she was doing him a favor, and therefore he had no right to be mad at her for using the detested nickname. "Daddy, you aren't mad at us for asking him to help are you?" She drew her fingers through Brittany's hair.

"No, no. Of course not." King Figgins sighed. "But Sam, please try not to worry me so."

"I'm sorry father." Sam bowed. Inspiration struck. "But I think I left Santana's fin ring." Santana raised an eyebrow and flicked her crimson tail behind Brittany's light blue one. On Brittany's other side, Tina removed the golden ring. "May I fetch it for her?"

"But…that's a long trip away…" King Figgins looked at Mercedes doubtfully. Sam cast her a pleading look. "Are there sharks about?"

"Not if he went no where near the reefs." The look Mercedes shot Sam said that he'd better not go near the reefs.

"Then hurry and grab her ring." Tina passed the ring to Lauren, who clipped it to one of her already highly ornamented fins. Figgins would never know the difference. Sam nodded, just stopping himself from grinning.

He did avoid the reef. All Sam really did was follow a herd of dolphins, which was quite safe. No shark was going to attack while he was with dolphins. If they went by the reef, and Sam was just dying to see what the surface around the reef looked like, so much the better.

Sam broke the surface and looked around. No humans in sight. No one would be fishing on a day that was this stormy anyway.

No one except whoever was in the boat over there. Sam dove beneath the surface.

A human. Sam dithered. He could go and get Santana another gold ring, or he could go look in the boat and see what a real human looked like.

He could just have a quick peek! Then, as long as he swam quickly, he'd be to the palace and back with Santana's ring so fast no one would be able to tell he'd taken a detour. As long as he wasn't seen, there'd be no consequences.

Sam swam up around the back of the boat. His heart pounded. None of his sisters had even seen a real human, not with father's attitude, and if he could just see what one looked like-he grabbed the side of the boat and poked his head up.

Oh. Oh. Oh.

For a moment, Sam couldn't find his breath. The human was paler than Quinn, with the softest pink lips Sam had ever seen. Each flash of lightning illuminated wide eyes, all pale green and blue with hints of grey. His hair was soaked by the rain and clung to his head, but Sam was sure it was some shade of brown.

Sam watched him yank on a rope. Sam had to admire the figure he cut. His white shirt had become nearly transparent in the driving rain, and the leather boots were making Sam enjoy the sight of legs.

Sam was so busy staring at the human, he didn't notice how close to the reef the boat had gotten. The human made one last attempt to turn the sails. It failed, and the little craft smashed into the reef. Sam's eyes widened.

The human cried out in pain. He'd hit his head on a piece of wood, and was sinking. Sam watched, mildly curious, until it hit him. Humans couldn't breath underwater!

Sam dove. There was wreckage all around him, where was the human? He frantically looked around. A pale hand extended from the depths. Sam swam for it, shoving away pieces of debris. He reached out and grasped it.

The human's eyes were closed, and his chest was unmoving under Sam's hands. Sam raced to the surface, his tail pumping. They broke above the waves. Sam clasped the little human to his chest, praying.

The human coughed. Sam sighed in relief. The torso he cradled was moving-the human breathed. They were shallow breaths, but he yet breathed! Sam swam for the shoreline.

He made it there in a few moments. Here in the surf it was calmer. The storm had passed. Sam laid the human on the sand and pressed a hand to his chest. His breath was stronger now.

"Sam!" He whirled around. Mercedes' hand covered her mouth. "Tell me that isn't a human."

"I…he…I couldn't just let him drown!" Mercedes swam closer. Sam shifted in front of the human, protectively. "Don't hurt him!"

"I'm not going to spear some unconscious man!" Mercedes looked fascinated despite herself. "Sam, your father will lock you in the dungeons if he hears of this."

"You could not tell him?" Sam suggested. "Come on, I've done nothing but behave! Don't I deserve to have feelings for one person he doesn't approve of!"

"We never said anything about feelings." Mercedes murmured. Sam blushed. Mercedes dithered.

"What…" The human blinked. Sam whipped into deeper water with Mercedes. They cowered behind a rock. "Hello? Was someone there?"

"Answer him, and I will cut you." Mercedes hissed. "And it'll be a mercy killing." Sam shot her a glare, but stayed silent.

"Hello?" The human pushed himself to his feet. He shook his head. "I must've just washed up on the beach when the boat hit the coral…" He looked around. "And I lost the catch. Fantastic."

Sam peered around the rock as the human began to walk along the beach. "I think he's going home."

"Great for him. And we never, ever, tell Figgins about this. Now come on." Sam followed Mercedes into the sea, his mind on land.

"What's wrong with Sam?"

"He's not responding when I call him trouty mouth!"

"He doesn't even notice guppy lips!"

"And he's just humming?"

The princesses of Atlantica crowed around the doors of Sam's chamber. The one and only prince of Atlantica was staring out the window of his rooms, eyes distant. He hummed the refrain of an old love song in an absentminded way, as if he didn't notice he was doing it.

Quinn decided to broach the subject with Sam himself. She hesitantly swam into the room, hushing the other sisters.

"Sam. Did you stay in the sun too long?" Sam jumped.

"Huh? Oh, um, no. Nothing happened. Nothing at all." Sam avoided her eyes. Quinn's mouth opened.

"You're in love?" Sam groaned.

"No, I'm not!" Quinn folded her arms and raised an eyebrow. "He's just…entrancing. That's it!"

"Oh really?" She fought the urge to grin. "Who's the lucky merman?"

"You have to swear not to tell. Anyone." Sam raised his voice. "And I want to hear it from all of you!"

The sisters filled the room in a moment. Solemn vows of secrecy were uttered. Sam buried his face in his hands and whispered. "He's a human."

There was absolute silence. Sam peeked out from between his fingers. "This is the moment where you all tell me that it isn't hopeless."

"Oh, Sam!" Quinn swam forward and hugged him. "I'm sorry."

"You're screwed." Quinn glared at Lauren over the head of her distraught brother. Lauren shrugged.

"She's keeping it real. There's no way father is going to let you even see the guy." Santana said flatly. She reached forward and patted Sam's shoulder in a consoling way anyway. "Sorry."

"I know." Sam groaned. "I can't stop thinking about him."

"Could you go see him without telling father?" Tina asked. She looked hesitant. "I know it's not what he wants us to do…"

"You owe it to yourself to try." Quinn flashed Tina a smile. "We can cover for you."

"You will?" Sam glanced around. "What should I do?"

"Just get another peek." Lauren smirked. "You can see if you want to do anything serious about this little infatuation. Or go see him do something idiotic and it'll all be over."

"Father will be busy buying me new shells." Santana said. "I plan to spend a long time on selection."

"Thank you." Santana sniffed. Quinn hid a smile.

"It's just so you'll quit moping."

Sam hid behind a rock and eyed the castle. The human was walking down a beach path with an enormous dog, whom he absently stroked. Another human followed, wringing his hands. Sam ducked down and swam closer.

"William, I can't help it. I don't want to marry any of these prospective suitors." The other human adopted a wheedling tone of voice.

"But Kurt, what about that Prince Finn?"

"The one who couldn't bring himself to touch me?"

"Or, or, the Prince Blaine! He comes with a handsome dowry!" Kurt rolled his eyes.

"I see nothing so appealing about him."

"If you'd just meet him…"

"I'm telling you William, there's someone special out there. Someone I saw in a dream once."

"Oh, not this drowning thing again!" William groaned. "Kurt, you're deluding yourself."

Kurt glared at the ground, and Sam bristled. He suddenly wanted to take a swing at the curly haired man.

"I'll make my own choices, whatever my delusions may be." Kurt's voice was like ice. Sam smiled, feeling smug.

"Like staying on your boat, alone?" Kurt crouched down and fondled the dog. It was enormous and fluffy. Very cute, and unlike anything Sam had seen in the sea.

"I couldn't just leave poor Wes to die, could I?" The dog barked and licked Kurt's face. Kurt chuckled. William winced. "I'll find my man when I find him, and rushing me into the arms of some foreign prince isn't going to help my kingdom."

"Yes, yes, but your marriage!" Kurt shrugged and got to his feet. Somehow, not one grain of sand had gotten on his clothing. Sam sighed. Time to face it.

He was head over tail in love.

"What?" Sam heard it even as he returned from spying on Kurt. It sounded like his father.

Mercedes heard it at close range, and cringed. She hadn't meant to tell King Figgins anything about what his son had been up to. But Brittany had inadvertently told him that Sam was in love (someday, someone would have to teach that girl subtlety). Mercedes had assumed the worst, and quite by accident asked if Figgins was really okay with his son being enamored of a human.

Then all hell broke loose.

Luckily, Sam had sisters.

"Sir! Please be reasonable!" Quinn planted herself in her father's path. "Surely you can admit that Sam can be with whoever he chooses!"

"A greedy, dirty, no good, human!" Figgins found his way blocked by another daughter.

"You need to cool your tail." Lauren folded her arms. "Maybe we should take a trip down to the lagoon."

"Move aside, daughter!"

"Daddy, can't you reconsider?" Rachel pouted. Figgins growled.

He was far to preoccupied to notice that his red tailed daughter had vanished.

Santana swam like a horde of sharks was on her tail. She had to reach Sam before he came home! The King would throw him in the dungeons! Santana could haul tail when she wanted to, and she caught Sam on the outer edges of the gardens.

"Sam! You need to run!" Santana grabbed his arm. "Go far away!"

"What? Where?" Sam asked frantically. "I've lived here my whole life!"

"Go to…go to the witch." Santana turned him around and pointed to the east. "She's the only person who could give you legs!"

"Isn't she evil?" Santana pushed him forward.

"It's better than staying here! Go!" Sam fled.

"Hello? Is anyone here?" Sam swam slowly through the cave. It was a dreary place. Some of the twisted plants below his tail even looked living. Living in agony. Sam was about to examine them closer when he was answered.

"Why, Prince Sam." The witch of the seas came into view. "I thought you would seek me out."

"Um, yes?" Sam gulped. The witch of the seas was tall and lean, with short blonde hair and a tan tail. Her grin was sinister. "I didn't know where else to turn."

"To snare your pretty prince? You came to just the right place. You want legs." She held out a cordial. Sam stared. He could see his reflection-a reflection with his green tail and scales turned to legs. "You'd be free on land. Don't you want freedom?"

"Yes, but-" before Sam could finish she'd swept around him.

"And this would provide that easily." She produced a piece of paper. "I don't have a great payment in mind. Just a small thing." Sam tried to follow her movements. "Your voice. You'd be fine, strong in body, still handsome, and no prince desires a man who speaks."

"But…my sisters…" Sam stared at the contract. It glowed.

"They would be quite safe. It's a seaside kingdom. This offer is limited time, and you'll be permanently legged and in your prince's arms, provided that you can make him kiss you in 3 days." She tossed him a pen. "Of course if not you'll be part of my garden, but who needs three days! You'll have him in one!"

"I…" The thought of Kurt's eyes convinced Sam. He signed. The witch grinned.

"To the surface with you!" Sam coughed. He couldn't breathe. He tried to move his tail and found that two appendages moved down there, and neither was propelling him quickly enough. The witch grabbed his arms and pushed him up.

Sam coughed as she flung him onto the beach. He flicked hair out of his eyes and stared below his waist. They were so strange.

"Wes! Wes, down Wes!" The dog! The dog he'd seen before! It was running up to him, barking and wiggling. Kurt was following, too focused on his pet to see the man. "What's gotten into you…" He looked up. "Oh, my."

Sam opened his mouth, to say what he wasn't sure, but no sound came out. Right. Sam had to be content with smiling bashfully and scrambling to his feet. Kurt glanced away.

"Ahem. Here." He pulled off his jacket and held it out. "For your modesty."

Sam blushed and took the jacket. He folded it around his waist, wishing that his first actual meeting with Kurt wasn't quite so undignified.

"Who are you?" Kurt frowned when Sam didn't answer. "Where did you come from?"

Sam pointed at the ocean.

"Can you speak?" Sam shook his head. Kurt held out his hand. "Then I'll bring you to the palace. We can clothe you and provide for you until your people find you."

Not much chance of that. But it's kind of you to shelter me. Sam thought. He blushed and took Kurt's hand. Kurt tightened the grip.

"Did you just arrive to this country?" Sam nodded. Kurt looked disappointed. Sam cocked his head. "It's nothing. Just a thought, about a dream."

Oh. Sam followed Kurt into the palace and hoped for ideas. He had absolutely no clue how to woo a human, not when he couldn't even tell the human that he was somehow already in love with him.

In the palace, Sam was scrubbed, and presented with clothing. He also managed to rip three pairs of pants before he finally figured out how the hell to get into the things. As a result, Sam hurried into the dining room late.

"Ah, my guest." Kurt's smile was a bit tight. "Sit down." Sam sat. "I was wondering what you could tell me about your kingdom. Is there any way we can contact them?"

Sam shook his head.

"What can I do to help you?" Sam reached out and took Kurt's hand. Kurt bit his lip and tried to think. "I can give shelter, at least. How would you like to tour the city tomorrow?"

Sam nodded enthusiastically.

The tour was fascinating. Sam wished he could ask questions. He just knew that Brittany would've loved being able to rush about up here. But he wasn't going to see Brittany again, so it was pointless to think about her.

He had to be grateful that Kurt apparently liked boats. They'd gone rowing in a lagoon, which was quite romantic and nice. If only Sam had any idea how to utilize the atmosphere.

"What's wrong?" Kurt leaned over the oars and put two fingers under Sam's chin. "What are you thinking of?"

Sam blushed and shrugged. Kurt frowned.

"Hmm. Do you miss your family?" Sam ducked his head.

How did you know? He wanted to ask.

"You've got very expressive eyes." Sam furrowed his brow at Kurt. Kurt smiled. "I remember the first time I was sent overseas to another country. I was terrified."

Sam smiled slightly.

I'm afraid the circumstances are a bit different in my case. You didn't make a bargain with the most feared being of the seas in order to get legs, thus losing your voice, because you fell in love with someone from another species. Or maybe you did. I can't exactly ask.

"I wish I knew your name." Kurt said. "I did go through the royal families to see if someone of your description came up, but you're an anomaly. Let me guess…Darren?"

Sam shook his head vigorously. Sam He said in his head. Sam.

"Chord? Kevin? Cory? John?" Sam's eyes widened. "John then?"

He shook his head, staring past Kurt's shoulder into the lagoon. Mercedes had surfaced there, and was staring at Sam with unadulterated shock. No, no, perhaps there was a bit of horror.

"Sam?" She whispered. Kurt blinked.

"Sam?" Sam jerked his attention from Mercedes and nodded. Kurt smiled. "Sam, then. We need to head back. It's almost dawn."

"Prince Sam!" Mercedes hissed. Sam crouched by the docks. He'd rushed down after breakfast, having guessed that Mercedes would linger until they'd spoken. "What are you doing here?"

Sam shook his head and pointed to his lips. Mercedes raised an eyebrow.

"You ran away to avoid being known as trouty mouth?" Sam glared. "I know you were mooning after that Prince, and somehow you got away before King Figgins could lock you in the dungeons, but none of the sisters will talk and now you're here…" she trailed off. "You made a bargain with the witch didn't you?"

Sam nodded. Mercedes cursed.

"Voice for legs?" Sam nodded again. "I'll find her and spit her on my sword!" Sam shook his head, frantically. "Why not?"

It's a contract, we can't break it. If you try, it's her legal right to kill you and my father won't be able to protect you! And I don't want to go back, I've fallen in love. Even if I might become a minion of the witch if Kurt doesn't kiss me by sundown…

"Oh Sam, you didn't sign a contract?" Sam nodded miserably. Mercedes rubbed her brow. "I…How long do you have until she takes you?"

Sam held up a finger. Mercedes winced. "And I don't suppose he's shown signs of acting on impulse?" Sam's expression spoke for him. "Well, I suppose it's possible that…"

"Master Sam!" The clerk, Will, trotted up. Sam felt a second of admiration for Mercedes. All that was left of her was a few ripples on the surface. "Prince Kurt was looking for you."

Sam cocked his head inquiringly.

"He's listened to me at last. Prince Blaine and he shall be married after sunset!" Sam's mouth dropped open. Will looked taken aback by the expression of total horror on Sam's face. "Prince Blaine made an offer we couldn't refuse. It's been decided that they'll be in alliance to wrest the sea trade routes from the country Lacov Enilanerda. It's rather important to the people."

But my people could do that! Do it easily! With my father's trident alone, we could win any navel battles! Sam mouthed in outrage. Will shot him an odd look.

"Well, Master Kurt wanted to apologize. He said that as he would be on a boat en route to Notlad while they were married, perhaps they could transport you closer to your homeland." Sam bit his lip so hard that blood trickled down his chin. "You'll be expected on the ship."

Will walked away. He had a bad feeling about the whole alliance, but it made sense. They were of the same age, both good looking, and it was surely favorable to the people. Prince Kurt would stop looking so miserable after the wedding night.

"Oh, Sam…" Mercedes surfaced. "I'm going to talk to your sisters. We can't let you become one of the witch's playthings."

Sam waved goodbye. She dove, the blue tail fins catching the sunlight as they flipped up. Sam tried to keep the image of sun on scales in his mind. He wouldn't be seeing anything that beautiful as a shriveled plant.

Sam leaned on the railing of the ship, staring out on the waves. He was pretty sure he'd pegged where the palace was under the surface. He deliberately avoided Kurt, who was greeting guests with a strained smile.

"Sam. Are we going to be going anywhere near your home?" Kurt had slipped away from the guests and was watching the waves. Sam shrugged. "I love being on the sea. I always wonder what it would be like to see what's really under there, not just what we see in the shallows."

Sam smiled wryly. Kurt eyed him. "I'm going to help the kingdom by marrying him."

Kurt hesitated, looking like he was struggling. "I wish I had met you before now."

I wish I'd never heard of Prince Blaine. Sam thought vindictively. Kurt touched his shoulder.

"I promise that we'll help you go home. With the sea between Blaine and my lands secure, we'll be able to go almost anywhere in the world. We can find a map and you can put your finger on your own country." Sam tried not to look Kurt in the eyes. If Blaine would be so advantageous to him, it would be unfair to throw himself at the Prince's feet and beg.

"Sun's almost set. That's when the wedding is." Kurt commented. Sam braced himself.

"Sam!" Kurt's mouth dropped open. Sam leaned over the edge and stared down at the waves. Quinn's head and shoulders were above the surface. "Sam!"

Quinn? What are you doing? His other sisters were with her.

"Mermaids." Kurt breathed. Sam nodded.

"Sam! We've saved you!" He noticed something. All of his sisters were wearing matching tops, a sort of uniform. They were red and white. Even their hair had changed. All had it bound above their heads. "We belong to her now. You're free."

What did you girls do? Sam tried to scream. His legs were wobbling.

"We bought you freedom!" Santana called. "You can speak!"

"What the fuck are you guys talking about?" Sam yelled down to them. Kurt's mouth, already hanging open, seemed to gape wider.

"You are the one I saw in a dream! Sam, what are you…your legs." Sam fell heavily as his legs shimmered. "Forget that. Sam, your tail."

"I can't…" Sam's breathing grew labored. "I'm having trouble breathing."

Kurt wrapped an arm around Sam's waist and pulled him up. Kurt was shockingly strong for someone so slight, and had Sam on the railing in a moment. Sam was wheezing. The sun was down.

"Kurt, I…"

"Get in the water!" Kurt said urgently. He pushed Sam over the side of the boat. Sam fell into the water with a splash, feeling relief. It was no joke to have his tail completely dry. Kurt glanced over his shoulder, to where the wedding would be held, then back down to the mermaids. "Oh, Blaine can go find someone else to be condescending towards. This is far more interesting."

Kurt dove into the water.

Now with a voice, Sam realized that he had no idea what to say. Kurt was looking at his sisters in fascination.

"Mermaids. You're of the mer. What were you doing on land?" Sam opened and closed his mouth.

"It doesn't matter. I'm tailed now and you're…you can't exactly come live in Atlantica." Kurt's brow creased. "I made a bargain to be with you. You had to kiss me by sunset on the third day, or I would be a plant thingy."

"That's it? I've wanted to do that for three days!" Kurt paddled towards Sam and draped an arm over his shoulders. "Let me talk to this witch. After this." Kurt leaned in and brushed his lips over Sam's.

"Wanky." Sam broke away to shoot Santana a look of doom. "I just sold my allegiance for you, guppy. I'm entitled to all the commentary I want."

Quinn covered Santana's mouth with her hand. "What we mean to say, is congratulations."

"But we're different species. Father will never allow this." Sam said. Kurt, one arm still draped around Sam's shoulders, lifted his chin.

"I am quite capable of taking on the King of the Seas, Sam." Sam opened his mouth to ask how Kurt had figured that out. "Sam, please. All these girls couldn't be anything but princesses."

"I like your mate Sam." Lauren commented. Kurt flashed her a smile.

"Now let me cut a deal with this witch. Where is she?" Quinn peered around.

"Actually, she should be around here somewhere." The eldest daughter shrugged. "I suppose she drifted off to sink a ship…"

"Wrong, Q. I'm right here." The witch surfaced next to Quinn. Her eyes danced. Kurt blinked.

"Godmother?"

"Godmother?" Sam stared at the witch. Kurt shifted to face her properly.

"That's right, godson." Kurt glared at her. "Standard agreement of half year on land half year underseas."

"If you thought you'd found me a Prince, you could've just contacted me and given me my wishes!" Kurt said. Sam tightened the arm that was around Kurt's waist. "This is twisted!"

"Think of it as a test of valor for the Prince of the Sea. And I needed some minions." The witch ran her eyes over Sam's sisters. "We'll be quite a merry band of underseas demons."

"But-" Sam put a hand on Kurt's arm.

"Maybe we shouldn't question her and just be happy to be together?" Kurt turned to Sam and smiled.

"I suppose you're right. I've always wanted to see under the sea." Kurt frowned. "My legs feel strange."

Sam looked down. Stretching from Kurt's waist was a gorgeous tail, shimmering in the water. All colors danced across it as the light hit it from different angles. Kurt stared down at it.

"This will take getting used to." The witch cackled.

"You two have fun. Minions, away!" She dove down. "Daddy, awake!"

"What?" Sam tried to move, but Kurt was holding his arm down. "What do you mean!"

"Daddy! Wake, up!" Sam blinked his eyes open. A pair of grey eyes stared back at him. "Daddy, wake up!"

"I'm awake Jes. What…" Sam blinked around himself. The pressure on his arm was Sue, who had attached herself to one side of his body and was asleep. "What time is it?"

"It's nine o clock! You fell asleep during the movie!" Sam put an arm under Sue's bum and lifted her up as he stood. The five year old must've crashed hard. Unlike Jes, who had insane amounts of energy even when it was past his bedtime.

"Sam, I don't know how you can fall asleep during The Little Mermaid. It's classic Disney." Kurt appeared in the doorway to the kitchen. He smiled at Sam. "I almost woke you up, but you were too excellent a pillow."

"We sang along!" Jes said cheerfully. He hopped into Kurt's arms. "And Dad told me about the time Aunty Mercedes sang it when you were in high school."

"Oh, God." Sam grimaced. "You had to tell that didn't you?"

"It's a treasured memory of mine." Kurt smiled. "You stood up and kissed me in front of New Directions, and Finn spat out his water on the back of Rachel's head."

"Didn't I sit down awkwardly immediately after, and start stuttering?" Kurt patted Sam's hand.

"It was cute dear. Can you put Sue in bed while I get the popcorn grease off Jes?"

"Hey! My hands are clean!" Kurt raised an eyebrow at their eldest child. The little blonde boy shifted guiltily. "Mostly."

"Exactly. Now up to the bathroom." Kurt shooed Jes up the stairs. "Sam, be quick." Sam grinned when Kurt winked at him. He had the awesomest husband ever.

And next movie night, they were watching Avatar. Not something he'd be falling asleep during that classic. And he was sure he'd outgrown dreams of Kurt as a Na'vi.

A/N: Uh. I feel like I should point out that I have a deep hatred of Ariel (little superficial bitch.) But I ended up watching the Little Mermaid to write this. And I hated her even more, and thought the plot was stupid. So I changed it. And…um. I won't have internet for the next two weeks, so I cannot respond to reviews, but they'll still be much appreciated!

But one other thing. So, I imagine Quinn with a pinkish blue tail, Brittany with a pale blue tail, Santana with a crimson tail, Tina with a purple tail, Lauren with a really rich green tail, Rachel with a reddish/brownish tail, and Sam with a light green tail. And Kurt with a rainbow tail. Someday, I'm going to coerce Sofia into drawing these.