Kissing

By: Windgale/Nana/Burlesque

AN: What great fun it was to write this. I wrote it during school right after I had read the book. BECAUSE JORDAN NEEDS TO DIE.

Warnings: Mentions of homosexuality and homosexual kissing? 0-0

I rarely curse. I find it useless and distasteful. I am far too smart to use such short, distasteful words. Sure, I am rather poor, but that's never any excuse for using foul language. I just hate every part of saying them, especially the aftertaste of the word on my tongue. It all disgusts me.

Of course it made no sense, then, why curses were the first words to escape my lips after Gatsby kissed me. It was not a bad kiss. It was dry and gentle and everything I think of when I picture Gatsby kissing a woman. It had its own secret agenda as well. There was a hint of sorrow and worry. It was rushed, as if Gatsby were trying to say goodbye and apologize at the same time.

I never got a chance to return the kiss, or even think about returning it; it was over too quickly. It was just a shock, a flurry of soft lips and sweet taste and then it was gone. He lingered against my body for the shortest of moments before backing off, leaving me confused and conflicted. Would I have kissed him back given the chance? I don't know.

He tasted good, though. I can't lie through that. I had never thought about about how Gatsby might taste, but in the split second that I did, I tasted everything. Sugar and citrus and lime and a bit of alcohol and a tiny bit of smoke. There was a bit of something else as well. Something unidentifiable. Something I can only speculate is the taste of money. I can't explain how or why I enjoyed it like I did. All I know is that he tasted like chocolate mixed with oranges and perfection.

I still see him now and again. Out in his yard, at his parties, in the windows of his house. We rarely speak and it's even rarer that we make full eye contact. I got used to it, but I still wish that things would be less awkward. It feels like he's embarrassed he kissed me me, which he really shouldn't be. It's like he feels like he should be punished for what he did. I didn't mind, though. It wasn't anything painful. I just chalked it up to experience. I had been kissed by a man. Why should i mind?

It wasn't like Gatsby wasn't attractive. I figured that if men could be attractive, Gatsby would be. He's got a wonderful smile. He should seem downright wonderful to women, but recently, I've noticed he's shunned people. He keeps to quiet, lonesome rooms during parties. He's become even more of a mystery to his party goers than usual. I try to join him whenever I find him, but he always makes an awful excuse and leaves. I wish he wouldn't ignore me so fervently. It bothers me. I know why he does it, but I still feel like he truly dislikes me or something.

I suppose I wish I would have kissed him back. It's wrong of me to feel that way, I know. I'm not... like that. I have nothing against people who are. I respect them all the same. I, however, had never liked men like that. I wish I would have kissed him back nonetheless. If i had, perhaps he wouldn't have left so fast. It would have been worth it if I could have tasted him longer.

I need to swallow my pride and kiss him again. No one really bothers to talk to me except for Gatsby. I can take the label from everyone else. Homosexual. I could take it. Not that anyone would have to know I kissed him. No, I need to do it. I need to kiss him. If not for myself, then for him. And I really want to taste him.

Pointless comment: Hi Tyke.