I don't own the character of Minerva McGonagall, thank Mrs Rowling for that!

This is something that just got written onto my notepad - How it happened, I'm not sure...

This is based from Minerva writing, it is Femslash but I haven't stated the partner she is with, so just imagine whon you would like it to be.

Enjoy it, I guess.

Comfort in Work

Why should you find comfort and console in teaching?

The simple answer: You shouldn't.

The one you love should be the person to help you find safety and security.

And what if the reason you are beginning to find comfort and console in teaching once again is because your partner isn't supporting you?

Well, then you really do have a problem.

It's wrong that you throw yourself so readily into your work to find that warm place that a person should fill. When that fear rises within you, you turn to teaching now, instead of her.

It's bad that you tell yourself most days that you would be happier sat in the classroom alone marking homework just to get by.

You've started to feel yourself losing touch, thinking of your work over anything else. You feel it helps to block things out to help you overcome them: And that's where you find your safety.

That feeling should be coming from her.

It hasn't done for a month now, so you have filled the time with teaching and fantasising about what you are desperate to feel.

It frightens you rigid that it's becoming so frequent now, but stopping would mean that, right now, you would have nothing to hold onto, to call your own, almost without a purpose, in a dramatic and totally over-reacted way.

But that's how you feel.

Could you stop it? No, probably not.

Not until she decides what's going on inside of her. Not until she finds her way back to you, and makes you some form of priority, and not someone to keep her company when she is alone, then can you finally stop the charade.

Are you ok? Not really.

You know the purpose behind your teaching is wrong, however much people praise you for it.

The feelings scare you, you know that everything you have felt and done this month hasn't been the answer to your problems, but you aren't really sure of what else to do.

How much comfort does it bring you to stand and teach? Too much.

Sitting at the front of the class with the desk and blackboard, two in-animate objects, are now the things that make you smile, laugh and feel special.

Even now you sit and think of how you can use this entry as a speech to teach in class, just to get it out there, without her knowing or ever guessing it's really you talking.

A/N: Thanks for reading.