Once a year, Shinra held possibly the most pointless competition ever—if only to add a little bit of cheer to their SOLDIERs' lives. A dirty contest, full of cheating and sand throwing—well, sandballs, actually. Quite similar to a snowball, but made of sand. They weren't the best thing to have thrown at your nether regions. A contest to find the most skilled pair among the lot, one to win the best prize a SOLDIER could hope for.

Every year, Shinra Electric Inc. held a sand castle building contest. The prize? A full month off of duty.

And every year, Sephiroth sat on the sidelines with the judges (much to his displeasure because Hojo was one of the judges) because he never, ever had a partner. Everyone was just far too afraid to pair up with their General—especially when the man was in such a foul mood. Which he normally was. This year, however, he was determined to be teamed up and win. He wanted that month off of work. A month off of signing paperwork, commanding the utter morons under him, and most of all… A month away from that fucking nutcase named Hojo. Because even though the self-proclaimed genius thought he should get to poke Sephiroth's arms and legs with needles every other day to get blood samples, he was still a fucking creeper.

Yes, Sephiroth was determined this year. For four years, he had been automatically disqualified for being on his own. But not this year. No, this year, he would threaten someone if need be. And he would win.

He frowned and leaned further forward in his beach chair, squinting in the sun and scanning the beach for a teammate that would at least not slow him down. The moment he had woken up that morning, he had sprinted down the living quarters' hallways in his boxers and hammered on Angeal's door, demanding they be partners for the contest. His best friend had opened the door, pointed out he was not properly dressed, then muttered an apology and something about a dog. Sephiroth wasn't sure why the fuck it mattered if he stood outside in his boxers, but he had a feeling the "dog" was actually that damn annoying teenager the man was always hanging around.

And thus, Sephiroth did not have a definite partner. He glared at Zack as the teenager bounced happily alongside Angeal, a tiny little blonde civilian following close behind and wildly turning his head this way and that, examining everything going on around him. He cocked an eyebrow; why was there a civilian wandering around the beach? In the past years, the only people allowed anywhere near the beach on the designated sand castle contest day were Shinra employees. Shaking his head, he turned to look for Genesis. The redhead would surely pair up with—Oh. Right. Genesis was on a mission. So much for that idea.

A whistle sounded, and the chatter died down around him. He whipped his head around and narrowed his cat-like green eyes at the president. That fat ass was already about to start the contest? But he hadn't found a partner yet! He bolted to his feet as the man started to speak into a megaphone.

"Welcome to the 31st annual Shinra sand castle building contest!"

Sephiroth turned to the nearest employee—his secretary—and opened his mouth to demand they be partners. She gave him one look, and latched onto the man next to her, begging him to team up with her.

"As you all know, the team that makes the best sand castle—"

Sephiroth's eye twitched and he murmured a threat to the woman before taking off across the beach. SOLDIERs everywhere launched themselves at each other the second the General's feet started moving.

"—gets a full month off of work! Now, doesn't that sound nice?"

Yes. Yes it did. If his troops weren't such fucking wusses that ran the second it came to spending three hours building a monstrous castle out of sand with their General.

"Well, I won't keep you all waiting. I declare this sand castle building contest begins… now!"

A shot rang out, and Sephiroth roared out a swear, fists clenched at his side. A few SOLDIERs inched away from him and he glared long and hard at Zack before turning to stomp his way across the sand. He was positively fuming. And Zack was going to fucking wake—

"Um, s-sir?"

A light tug on his swim shorts caught his attention, and he half-turned to look over his shoulder. The small blonde civilian was blinking up at him with wide blue eyes, blonde spike-covered head cocked cutely to the side with a small pout on his face. "Civilians are not allowed on the beach." he snapped before turning again.

"B-But, sir," the blonde squawked, grappling onto the General's hand instead. "I-I'm a cadet!"

Sephiroth almost laughed. Almost. He paused and turned to face the boy, examining him with narrowed eyes. He wasn't quite as slim as he'd initially looked; there were telltale signs of developing muscles, and he wasn't that much shorter than the General. His name carried across the beach to him, and his lifted his gaze to locate the source. Zack waved his arms around wildly and gave him a thumbs up. Sephiroth blinked. Then cocked his head and pointed to the blonde in front of him. Black spikes bobbed up in down in a quick nod, and Zack flashed another thumbs up.

"Well, I'll be damned. That little bastard brought me a team mate?" Sephiroth thought aloud, absentmindedly petting the blonde spikes before him. They were surprisingly soft, and the General allowed a very, very, very small smile to work its way onto his lips. "What is your name, cadet?"

The cadet cocked an eyebrow and blinked up at the man. "Cloud Strife, sir."

"Well, Cloud," Sephiroth started, releasing the blonde and starting to swat SOLDIERs away from him. They'd have to kill him for this exact spot. "Are you ready to make a sand castle so amazing, everyone will go home crying because they're so worthless and didn't pair up with me?"

The second blonde eyebrow shot up and Cloud nervously glanced at Zack, who waved cheerfully at him. He swallowed hard and slowly dropped to his knees next to the silver-haired man. "Uh… Yes?"

"Good." the General replied gleefully, already mounding sand into a pile. "This will be as easy as pie." He paused, sitting up straight and resting his ass on his heels. "No, pie was not easy to make. It will be as easy as—"

"Easy as ramen in a cup?" Cloud offered with a small smile, molding the pile of wet sand.

Sephiroth grinned toothily and shook his head. "As easy as the time I tricked Angeal into thinking Zack died."

Cloud opened his mouth to ask, then closed it and returned to the sand castle. Zack had said Sephiroth wasn't exactly the most socially inclined person to walk the planet. He supposed that was what his best friend had been talking about. One did not normally compare sand castle building to tricking someone into thinking a loved one was dead.

…At least, Cloud hoped people didn't do that. He suddenly wondered if his grandfather really was dead, or if his mother had played a terrible joke on him when he was twelve.

It took Cloud all of twenty minutes to discover he was completely horrified of Sephiroth; the General had pelted a ball of sand into the back of one SOLDIER's head so hard, the poor man had gone flying face first into his sand castle. He chucked another one at Zack, but Cloud yelped in surprise and his best friend managed to dodge it. Instead, it slammed into Angeal's face and Sephiroth burst out laughing.

Which was quite possibly the sexiest sound Cloud had heard in his eighteen years of life and led to the second discovery. Cloud was head over heels for his General. Still. Despite the demeanor of a clinically insane man that was apparently very determined not to lose a very simple contest.

To Cloud, he gave gentle commands, telling the teen what to touch up and where to pile up sand. To everyone else, he roared threats of death to anyone who even dared to consider throwing a sandball at either him or Cloud. It somehow made the cadet feel special, even though he was well aware that Sephiroth was only treating him nicely because they were team mates.

But he could pretend his General loved him, right? Right.

Of course, it would be much easier if the man wasn't being suspiciously nice. A sand-covered palm was gently placed on Cloud's back when he leaned back so quickly he almost fell over. Another sand-covered palm wrapped around his hand and showed him how he should pat down the sand. And he was pretty sure Sephiroth didn't need to lean so close to tell him anything.

But he pinned it down to that social awkwardness Zack had mentioned.

He was feeling pretty good about the situation. When Zack had woken him up that morning, begging him to be the General's partner, Cloud had refused. And then he had to refuse again. And then Zack pulled out the "But you love him! You don't want to see him upset because he didn't win, do you?" card, and Cloud caved. Because yes, he did love the General. And no, he did not want to see the man upset. Ever. He wouldn't have to, though; they were clearly going to win the—

"Cloud, be caref—"

The warning came a second too late, and Cloud put his hand down. Directly on a sand tower. Sand shot out from under his palm, and he gaped down at the sandy mess he had caused. Then he whipped his wide-eyed, fear-filled gaze to his General. "S-Sir, I'm so sorry. I didn't mean—"

Without a word, Sephiroth plucked the teen's palm out of the sand, brushed the grains off, and started rebuilding the tower. "Accidents happen." he murmured without a hint of anger or irritation. He patted the new, quickly-built sand tower and gave Cloud a small smile. "There we go. All better."

Cloud returned the smile, and they set to work patching up the ruined section of the castle. The cadet found a small shell in the sand and pressed it into the tallest tower, explaining to the General that it was a window. Sephiroth laughed, told him he liked that idea, and started digging around for even more shells. By the time the fat pork—er, president stood back up with a megaphone, their castle was covered in seashells and Cloud had no idea where his left sandal was.

And both he and Sephiroth were grinning ear to ear and covered head to toe in wet sand.

The entire speech given by the president, Cloud had to bite his lip to keep from laughing; the General kept leaning over to mutter some comment about the short, fat man. All were completely inappropriate, and Cloud was so giddy with excitement from actually talking to the General that he really didn't care.

What he did care about was the judging.

The way poor Cloud saw it, if they didn't win, he was dead. He shoved the tip of his thumb into his mouth and chewed on the nail, completely unaware of just how much sand was entering his mouth. Sephiroth cocked an eyebrow, tugged the teen's thumb out of his mouth, and just sat there. Patiently. Prodding a crab with index finger and grinning like a madman every time the crustacean tried to latch onto him. By the time the judges even got to them, Cloud was panicking and Sephiroth was trying to pry the poor crab's shell off.

Hojo, creeper that he is, stood there and smiled down at Cloud, completely disregarding the General's irritated growl as the crab put up a fight for its shell. The cadet shifted uneasily, avoiding the scientist's gaze.

And then Sephiroth did possibly the greatest thing he had done that entire day.

"Hojo, stop scaring my cadet." Sephiroth growled lowly, glaring at the man.

The scientist cackled and it sounded oddly similar to nails on a chalkboard. Cloud cringed. Sephiroth didn't bat an eyelash. "He could be a darling specime—"

He was cut off by a crab being launched into his face. It immediately clamped down on the man's nose and absolutely refused to let go. Hojo let out a howl of pain, and the other judges ushered him away, casting fear-filled looks at the much-too-happy look on the General's face. The SOLDIERs next to them inched slightly closer to their sand castle. For a moment, the beach was quiet—half of the SOLDIERs were staring at Sephiroth, while the rest were trying their hardest not to laugh at the pained cries coming from their resident psychopath.

And then the president lifted the megaphone.

"The winner of this year's sand castle building competition—"

Cloud held his breath and bit his bottom lip, begging whatever gods were listening to not let him die by the hands of his commanding officer.

"—Sephiroth and that scrawny cadet!"

"W-What?" Cloud cried out loudly. "I'm not scrawny! I'm just short, you ass—"

Cloud was cut off by a pair of arms scooping him off of the ground and holding him close to a well-toned bare chest. And then Sephiroth was kissing him. On the lips. In front of the entire fucking Shinra army. And Zack was making catcalls. Just as quickly, he was dropped to his feet and the General was petting his spikes.

"Would you like to go to Costa del Sol? I hate traveling alone, and we won together, so—"

"Sir?" Cloud interrupted. "Why did you—"

"Kiss you?" Sephiroth offered, raising his eyebrows. Cloud nodded slowly. "It felt right."

"O-Oh."

"I am gay, if that is what you intended to ask." the taller man stated calmly, kicking his leg back and hitting an eavesdropping SOLDIER in the knee. "So, Costa del Sol?"

"S-Sure." Cloud replied, watching the man tumble to the ground.

"Then it is a date." Sephiroth smiled politely, then turned on his heel and kicked the man in the shin. "Don't fucking eavesdrop on me ever again." He then turned his head to the approaching forms of Angeal and Zack. "I will have you know I have a boyfriend now and we are going to Costa del Sol. Up yours, Zackary!" he bellowed, wrapping an arm around Cloud and pulling him close.

"B-B-Boyfriend?" Cloud squawked, jerking his head up to stare at the General with wide eyes.

"Well, yes. Gods know I couldn't stand having to sit around with anyone else for that long." Sephiroth answered, rolling his eyes. "You are quite adorable, and you make me smile." He tilted his head slightly and frowned. "Do you object to the idea?"

"N-No. Absolutely not. Boyfriends." Cloud rushed, grappling onto a long-fingered hand, and grinning at Zack.

Who was giving them both odd looks because not only had Sephiroth just shouted the whole two feet to him, but he had also made it known to everyone that he was gay. And taking a cadet to Costa del Sol. And he was smiling. With Cloud. Was he fucking dreaming? He pinched his arm and squinted one eye. Nope. He was not dreaming. And his arm was now sore. Angeal tapped him on the shoulder and waved his hand towards the beach parking lot, urging the teen to stop gawking his his best friend and General.

Sephiroth leaned down and captured the blonde's lips in a kiss again, then straightened up and stretched his arms. "They're just jealous because I won."

Cloud highly doubted that was the reason the two had walked away, but he remained silent. If winning was that important to the General, it was a good thing Cloud was skilled at losing everything. He beamed at the man. "Damn right."

Sephiroth barked out a laugh and kicked in a tower of the sand castle before heading for the parking lot. "Damn right indeed."

I thought of this while sitting in a car without air conditioning today. In temperatures reaching near 100. One would think that I'd be thinking about something cool. Like ice cream, snow, being naked in a pile of snow, or a cold glass of lemonade. But no. I thought about making a sand castle on the hottest day so far this year.

To everyone in the heat wave spread across the USA: Stay safe, stay cool. Drink plenty of water, etc., etc.

Thanks for reading. Leave me a review?