I don't write outlines because the weird ways the plot twists as I write are much more interesting. This one is not one of them. It turned into a Mary-Sue fic near the end, I'm very sorry about it. It gets better, though, so just bear with me for this chapter.

~Kachow~

Back in their dorm, Neil attempted to continue the conversation in vain. No matter what he said, Todd would not respond. Instead, he stubbornly marched over to the library and slammed the door shut behind him. AKA, 'Don't you dare try to follow me, Neil Perry, lest I be forced to murder you.' Neil complied unhappily.

What would he do? Sit around and mope? No, he needed to talk about the best and one of the worst hours of his life with someone. If it couldn't be Todd, he supposed he'd mosey on over to Keating. There weren't really any other options, however awkward it may be to discuss sex with a teacher.

~Kachow~

Neil knocked twice softly.

"It's open"

There was a pause filled with the sounds of metallic jiggling. "Umm, sorry, sir, but I'd have to disagree with you on that one."

Mr. Keating chuckled and strode over to help the boy. When it was finally open he ushered him in and said, "My apologies. I suppose I may be more concerned about burglary and trespassing than previously known."

Neil grinned half-heartedly. Keating observed, remarking in feigned nonchalance, "Where's that trademark Neil Perry grin? Something seems to be the matter?"

"Yes, Captain." He sat down on a chair while its owner settled on to the edge of his desk. "It's about Todd."

"Did anything happen, or is it the difficulty of keeping this to yourself?"

Neil twiddled his thumbs as he stiltedly recounted, "Well, we went out to the cave today to run lines, and I was so angry because I thought he was not taking my affections seriously that I sort of yelled out how I felt. As it turns out, he didn't know beforehand, and I had just outted myself to him." Keating's eyes filled with compassion and mirth. Daring a glance up into their blue depths, Neil hastily stared back at his fingers to tell the next part. "Then we, ah did stuff to reach our climax." He turned red then, wondering if it looked as good on him as it did on Todd. The older man allowed no flicker of emotion to slip through, but he was surprised and a little impressed. Anyways. "Things turned sour. Todd kept claiming things felt wrong and that I can't really love him. I tried to assure him that I did; that it was solely his lack of confidence speaking; but now he's resolutely refusing to speak to me. Please help."

An answer was ready astonishingly quick. "I can't make him see how you feel. I can't take back all that has happened. I can't even be sure that what you are feeling is really love. I can give you this: Life will go on. You may feel you spend each day in agony, but at least you can realize what a pleasure Mr. Anderson is and treasure every moment. I suspect he'll come around in time. In the meantime, I suggest you talk to someone else about this. I know elders aren't the best to speak with about sexual matters. You are invited, of course, to continue talking with me. Lord knows I need the excitement."

Neil's grin reached a smidge further on his face. It wasn't quite the raw pleasure it usually embodied, but it was a start. "Captain?"

"Yes?"

"Have you ever been in love?"

"Many a time."

"What does it feel like?" The open innocence of the question pulled at Mr. Keating's heart strings.

"It feels like having a purpose. A constant thought you can rely on to cloud your mind at the most inopportune moment. Anxiety when you are distant. An uncontrollable satisfaction when you are near. The drive to be the best you can be. The need to tell someone your weaknesses. At times, even the breath of air after you've been underwater... Boring you yet?"

The boy's attention was unwavering. "No. I identify. Please continue."

Another chuckle escaped the teacher's lips. "I think I won't today. Run off now and do some thinking or talking with a boy close to your age."

"Aye aye, cap'n."

~Kachow~

Neil padded silently through the halls searching for Charlie, his best friend. If eccentric, rule-bashing Charlie couldn't accept him, he didn't know who would."... I swear, that's nothing but that truth."

An instant stop was in order. The object of his affections was telling a story- no doubt the story- to someone in the same empty classroom Neil had previously caught him and Charlie in. Instead of leaping in out of jealousy, though, he waited outside to eavesdrop.

Catcalling. "You two seriously went the whole way."

Charlie? Again? Apparently the two had grown closer than he thought. It made sense that they would meet far away from the other boys for secrecy. He was very glad that he hadn't told Todd where he went; Todd would've picked a classroom on the other side of the building if he knew that Neil would be out and about in this wing.

He listened more closely as Todd hurriedly interrupted, "No, no, no- I told you, we didn't have sex, he gave me a blow job and I... I provided him a leg to rub on."

Neil's ears burned at this. that dry humor he had come to adore used against him. Charlie roared with laughter. "The sexiest leg he ever did see."

"Why thank you." Todd? Allowing himself to be called sexy? Envy found reason to ignite in Neil.

"You're welcome."

There was a small awkward silence. Todd broke it. "Well. What do you, um, think?"

"I dunno. From the looks of it, it sounds like you really hurt the poor fella," Charlie speculated vaguely."

I think he'll get over it soon enough. He means well, but there's no way he could ever in a million years love me. Maybe this'll all blow over with time."

Neil refrained from stamping his foot in frustration. That twit was still stuck in 'I'm nobody' land. He needed to get the fuck out. Charlie surprisingly came to his rescue. "Give the guy some credit. If he says he loves you, why not try believing him?"

"Because that's stupid," It was an immediate answer, which made it very clear that he refused to even think about it."

That's not a reason at all. And we haven't even talked about how you felt about it yet. My ears are open, I promise. You did me a good turn when you comforted me." Neil giggled to himself. He could just picture Charlie's hands reaching up to non-existent stubble as he always did when he was embarrassed. He could've kissed the boy for asking Todd how he felt.

"You sure you want to hear this?" Typical Todd to draw out the moment he had been so eagerly anticipating.

"No, I want to walk back to my dorm and give Dick a foot massage. Yes, I want to hear about it, that's why I asked you in the first place. If you're queerer than a duck's ass, I'd be alright with that." Again, envy tugged at Neil's heart. He had never heard Charlie so compassionate, and they were supposed to be best friends. Todd brought out something special in him... His suspicions heightened over their relationship.

"I guess I'm not sure yet. I was supposed to hate it. But it feels so good- NO, not the sex part- okay, yes the sex part- but more the feeling of being wanted by someone. I dunno, is that weird?"

"A bit. You're so damn inconfident, you don't let yourself just feel. I let myself just feel. And right now, I feel like I wanna kiss you. You gonna let me feel? You gonna let yourself feel this kiss?"

Neil was spitting with rage, so much that he opened the door to reveal his position. "I heard that, bastard."

~Kachow~

I forgot how bad this part is. I really don't mean to do these overly dramatic things, but the bad writer in me is just bursting to come out! Oh well. Hope you enjoy it secretly. We all have our guilty pleasures, right?

Thank you again for the lovely reviews! I'm not one of those people that asks for reviews in order to post more chapters, but they do send me an email and it reminds me of this story and it really makes my week when I see feedback. Let me know who your favorite pairing is, any universe.