Titanic Nukage

Chapter 1: Duke Nukem Comes to Jump City

It sounded surreal that a bunch of alien pig cops were literally holding up a hamburger joint at Jump City with some Assault Troopers outside keeping guard.

"Please, don't hurt us!" cried the manager, "We didn't mean to cook your brothers and sisters as food!"

"Yeah, I'm a vegetarian" added the clerk.

"That apparently isn't enough" squealed one of the swine.

But as the pig cop that was moving forward toward the manager was about to use his weapon on him, a Baterang out of nowhere struck it, with the Assault Troopers outside running for their lives.

"Alright, it sounds like this restaurant does have a few mutant pieces of bacon walking around" said Cyborg after he knocked out an Assault Trooper that was coming his way.

"Aw man, you just used one of those meaty comments when I'm a vegetarian!" cried Beast Boy.

"Let's finish this, Titans, go!" ordered Robin.

The Titans charged at the pig cops, as the pig cops tried to throw pipe bombs at the Titans, Raven was able to use her powers to shield everyone from the explosions. The pig cops then charged at the Titans, and one of the pig cops was snarling right at Starfire which she could smell the pig cop's horrible breath.

"Please stop it, it's rude" said Starfire.

She typically responded by punching the pig cop that sent it flying right out of the window crashing right onto the street. But as the pig cop recovered from Starfire's attack, it noticed a familiar shadow and ran like the coward it was. The other pig cops were too busy fighting the Titans, one of the pig cops was chewing on Robin's fighting rod.

"Hey, get off!" cried Robin as he knocked the pig cop down.

Beast Boy changed himself into a gorilla and began to swing each of the pig cops around like mere toys and slammed each one of them down. Cyborg continued to fire his sonic cannon at the pig cops whom were coming his way, they were certainly no match for him.

"I see you Teen Titans as you are called around here took care of the matter before I arrived" said an unfamiliar voice to the Titans, "these alien scumbags got what was coming to them."

"Is that who I think it is?" asked Beast Boy.

"Duke Nukem!" cried Cyborg as he suddenly ran toward Duke Nukem himself with an autograph book.

"I see I got a few fans here" said Duke as he signed Cyborg's autograph book, "good work cleaning up the remnants of these alien scumbags."

"So why are you here?" asked Robin.

"The General says that a local villain of yours named Slade is after the alien technology, especially the ones that I fought against" continued Duke.

"That guy Slade?" asked Beast Boy.

"Come back to the tower with us" said Robin.

As the Titans along with Duke himself went back to Titan tower, Duke was impressed with the place but it wasn't as big as his own place back in Las Vegas.

"I must say, for a few kids with powers you sure got nice digs, I got better ones back home" said Duke.

"Hey, we kicked those aliens' butts back there before you came in" said Cyborg.

"Again, I appreciate that" continued Duke.

As Duke continued to look around Titan tower, Raven was not impressed by Duke's image as he continued to give himself his own self tour.

"I'm not sure if it's wise of us to bring him along" said Raven to Robin as Robin was on the computer figuring out where there might be crashed alien ships that were shot down.

"Listen, we need him for now" said Robin, "if Slade is after alien technology, it's our duty as well to stop him."

Slade indeed was interested in alien technology, the pig cops and the Assault Troopers the Titans had fought earlier had mostly returned back to Slade's hideout.

"Ah yes, welcome back my intelligent friends from the outer realm" said Slade.

"Duke, he's here" said a pig cop to Slade.

"Well aware of that" said Slade, "the media has all been over him."

"So what is it that you suggest we do?" asked the Assault Trooper.

"I want some pieces of your brand of technology that's still on the ground in the desert area near Las Vegas" said Slade, "the military hasn't come to seal those places yet, but I'll be the one to seal it for myself."

"And does that mean we also get to go home if we survive fighting Duke Nukem again?" asked another Assault Trooper.

"That depends if you're willing to help me" continued Slade.

Back at the towers, Robin finally got the coordinates of where a crashed alien ship was located, he and the other Titans along with Duke met in the main room.

"Alright Titans" said Robin, "and guest, this is where the location of a crash landed alien ship is located."

"Alright" said Duke, "so let's get this party started then and go."

Raven obviously didn't like Duke being quite rude, in spite of him being a hero defeating these aliens, but Cyborg was still blinded by Duke's own self-image as well.

"Come on Raven" said Cyborg as he noticed her face not being rather happy after Duke made those comments, "give the guy some slack."

"He should at least wait until he receives instructions" sighed Raven.

But as the Titans and their new friend were heading off for the alien wrecked ship in the desert, Slade and the alien survivors were on their way there too.