AN: This is just a silly little comedy one-shot, so don't take it too seriously. I'm not even sure why I wrote Puzzleshipping. As the description says, this takes place post-series. Thief King Bakura and Atem meet up in the afterlife and get into a fight.

Thanks to Individually Packaged for the beta!


Atem saw a flash of gray hair, and he wandered over, curious. It couldn't be...but it was...

"You made it into the fields?" Atem cried out.

"Of course! What the hell did you expect?" said Bakura.

Atem gaped at him. "But you...you couldn't get in the last time you tried..."

"That's only because Zorc was weighing us down!"

"And by "us," you mean..."

"Ryou and I, you imbecile! Either one of us could have gotten in our own...both of our hearts are lighter than a feather...but with Zorc in there with us, of course it was..."

Atem interrupted. "Hah! Ryou, I can believe! But you? You're..."

"I'm what?" Bakura said, glaring dangerously. "The one who spent thousands of years trying to avenge the unjust murder of my people? The one who stood in front of Ryou to protect him while you sent a death blow towards him?"

"I wouldn't have hurt Ryou!" sputtered Atem. "I only attacked because I saw that you had taken control!"

"Oh, because you would never have hurt an innocent to further your goals," said Bakura sarcastically. "If I believed that, I wouldn't have taken control of the body, and you know it. If I believed that you wouldn't have killed Ryou, then clearly I would have stayed in control of our body and I would have won the duel by default when your turn timed out."

"You can believe what you want, but I would not harm an innocent," said Atem. "Only the guilty did I..."

"Oh, sure," Bakura cut in. "Only when someone was guilty of such a horrible crime as insulting Yugi, or stealing something insignificant from Yugi, did you take such measures as killing someone, or blinding someone, or driving someone insane, or burning someone alive..."

"Shut up!" yelled Atem. "Just shut up!"

Bakura only smirked, and Atem turned away, trying to regain control of himself. "It's because Yugi was- I would have done-"

"When I came out of my Sennen item, even I wasn't as crazy as you, and I had more reason to be, after all I'd been through," Bakura said smugly.

"You turned people into dolls!" exclaimed Atem, abruptly turning back to face Bakura. "Including my- including Yugi!"

"And that's oh-so-much worse than murdering people or driving them insane," said Bakura sarcastically.

"I changed!" yelled Atem. "Because of Yugi, I changed!"

"And you never slipped?" asked Bakura slyly. "Even when that child claimed he'd hurt Yugi..."

"Anzu pulled me back!" said Atem defensively. "She made me realize that Yugi wouldn't have wanted me to kill him, and though I admit that I threatened the child, in the end I did not harm him!"

"You were ready to kill him for a joke he made," said Bakura, narrowing his eyes.

"You would have killed for less!"

"When have I ever?" said Bakura. "When have I ever killed without good reason? Answer me that, Pharaoh."

"You- I-" Atem stuttered.

Bakura leaned back on his heels, arms crossed over his chest, and smiled.

Finally, Atem found his voice. "You're just angry because I'm so much better than you. I killed you in Egypt, I killed you in Japan, I defeated Marik's dark side where you failed..."

Atem was not at all prepared when Bakura suddenly launched himself at him, shoving him hard. "Don't you talk about what happened with Marik!"

Atem stumbled backwards, but he soon found his feet. "Oh, Bakura. So bitter that I managed to get the Rod instead of you?"

"Fucking moron," Bakura seethed, his fists clenched. "If I'd wanted the Rod, I'd have dueled for the Rod. Hell, Marik's dark side offered to duel me for the Rod, and I refused. Instead, I wagered my own soul against the soul of Marik's dark personality so that I had a chance to destroy him. Do you think I risked myself needlessly? I'm not stupid."

"In that case, it seems to me that you're telling me that you are stupid, because if you'd just dueled for the Rod, then you and your own landlord wouldn't have died needlessly-"

Bakura glared at him. "You ignorant, pretentious little...how stupid are you? Marik's dark side would have obliterated Marik's soul, and killed his family, so I had to-"

And then Atem understood, and he smiled maliciously. "Ah, so that's what it is. I saved Marik where you failed."

Atem had a moment to see the rage spark in Bakura's eyes, and then Bakura's fist connected with his face.

Atem reeled back from the force of the blow, but he soon recovered and looked at Bakura with maddening calmness.

"You dare to strike me?" asked Atem. "You have me to thank for destroying the demon that was attached to your soul- the one that would have kept you from getting here, into the fields! If not for me, you would be in the jaws of Ammit!"

"Ah, yes," said Bakura coldly. He was shaking with barely controlled anger. "I forgot to thank you for ruining my chance at getting the revenge that would have freed the souls of my people so that they could move on to the afterlife."

Atem smiled cooly. "You should be thanking me. In the end, my father helped your people into the afterlife, and I willingly took place in the ceremonial duel so that my life would end. If it weren't for us, your people wouldn't be here, and yet still you blame us, when we had nothing to do with-"

"You knew!" shouted Bakura, stepping towards Atem threateningly. "I told you what had been done to my village, so you knew, and yet you still attacked me and kept on with it all!"

"I was only protecting my people, as was my duty as the Pharaoh-"

"Oh, and it had nothing to do with your anger over me having dug up your father's corpse and-"

And now it was Atem that threw himself towards Bakura, his fist connecting solidly with Bakura's stomach.

"He didn't deserve it!" roared Atem, as Bakura was thrown back, gasping in pain. "He knew nothing of the attack on your village, any more than I did-"

Atem was cut off as Bakura kicked out blindly, his foot connecting with Atem's leg. Bakura sent Atem sprawling, and from his place flat on his back, he heard Bakura's voice above him.

"But near the end, you did know, because I told you!" Bakura gasped, still winded from Atem's blow. "And you called me evil, and then you used the items made from the death of my family to attack me and eventually kill me-"

Atem managed to struggle to his feet while Bakura was ranting, and he aimed another punch at Bakura's head. Bakura had time to turn sideways in an attempt to dodge, but only just- though Atem's fist missed his face, it hit his shoulder, and Bakura winced in pain.

"I did it to protect the people in my kingdom!" Atem said. "And you should have stayed dead, but you didn't!"

Bakura turned and struck Atem again, punching him in the chest.

"Neither did you!" yelled Bakura.

Atem was thrown backwards, and he clutched the part of his chest where Bakura's fist had struck.

"Where you accomplished nothing, I succeeded," Atem hissed. "Every soul you ever cared about- Marik, Ryou, your family, your people- they were all saved by me or by my line, the chosen-"

Bakura saw red and rushed forwards, ready to launch himself at Atem again before Atem could fully recover.

Just as Bakura's fist was about to connect with Atem's face a second time, a sharp bolt of light cut between them, blowing them both backwards and away from each other.

"THAT...IS...ENOUGH!" rang the booming voice of Osiris.

Bakura lifted his head off the ground and sat up slowly. Across the field of reeds, he could see that Atem was trying to do the same.

"I will not have this here!" shouted Osiris, and the god's voice reverberated through both Bakura and Atem, causing each of them to quake.

"I have now seen that neither of you are yet worthy to reside in the fields," proclaimed Osiris. "And so I cast you...OUT!"

There was another flash of light, and this time, it blinded both of them for several moments.

Some time later, Atem opened his eyes. Sun. Sky. Sand underneath him. He was...

Atem scrambled to his feet.

"Oh, fuck! Do you see what you've done, thief?"

Bakura struggled to sit upright. "Oh, hell...where am I?"

"It's Earth, you degenerate!" yelled Atem. "We've been cast from the fields, and it's all because of you!"

Bakura managed to lift himself up off the ground. "Me? You started it!"

"No, you're the one who turned it into an argument!" retorted Atem.

Bakura's eyes widened. "But you were the one who approached me and started harassing me!"

"And you're the one who struck me first!" said Atem. "I only...only defended myself."

"That's exactly the sort of rationalization you would use, Pharaoh."

Atem clenched his fists. "I have been ejected from paradise!"

Bakura's body tensed, and his muscles coiled, ready to strike. "And so have I!"

"And now we're back in the world!"

"Back in the world," Bakura said, suddenly relaxing, and it seemed that there was a sense of wonder in his voice, as if he had just realized something.

"What the hell are you on about now?" asked Atem.

"I'm back in the world...where Marik is..."

Atem stared at Bakura with a shocked look, as comprehension dawned on his face.

"In the world...where Yugi is..."

They looked at each other for a moment longer, and then they both spoke at the same time.

"Thank you!"

And then they ran off in separate directions without a backwards glance.


AN: Thanks for reading! Reviews are appreciated!