Author's Note;; First posted to tumblr (certifiable-insanity). I think I'll keep doing that.

Messing up timelines, ahoy! Just for the technology, though. This is a lolfic that was supposed to be a drabble, but ran away from me and morphed into a ficlet of a thousand words.

Again, due to HP/Glee all over my dash and Luckypressure's HP arts.

There was a lot that could be said about muggle-borns and, sometimes, half-bloods.

Due to being brought up by muggle parents, Rachel Berry had access to this thing called the Internet, whenever she went home for the holidays. With the internet came Wikipedia, which she found absolutely interesting and helpful when it came to all non-magical things, and youtube.

Ah, youtube. It really was amusing, and during the holidays, Rachel found herself camping out in front of her fathers' desktop and spending endless hours watching hilarious video after video. They offered to buy her a laptop to bring back with her, and when Rachel informed them that it may very well explode should she try to use it in the school, they looked so adorably crestfallen that she had to conjure up her patronus- a bobcat, in case you were wondering- to distract them.

Being of age really did have its perks.

Anyway, on youtube, she had managed to dig up a video that contained Draco Malfoy. He wasn't doing much, just swaggering along while the person holding the video camera filmed someone else doing something called The Creep after him.

Rachel couldn't hold back her laughter even if she tried. Muggles really were entertaining.

}{}{}{

Being a half-blood in Slytherin house brought about its fair share of heckling, so Rachel took a leaf out of the Weasley twins' magical jokebook (no, really. They had this journal thing) and started hurling hexes at those who still wouldn't let it go after six years of being in the same house. When Crabbe's hair shone bright pink for ages, and Karofsky's tie kept doing itself up and half strangling him, they learned to back off.

At least, until the last incident faded from their minds and she was forced to come up with more inventive ideas. Her next plan involved setting their quills on fire at inopportune times. Like when they were nearly done with a twenty inch essay.

But, for now, all animosity was forgotten in favour of all of them nearly falling out of their seats as they gave their full appreciation to the Beauxbaton girls' behinds. They were just… Really firm and shapley, okay! It didn't help that they wiggled them so.

It took Finn Hudson over at the Hufflepuff table crashing loudly onto the floor to snap all the Hogwarts students- girls and boys alike- out of it, the lot of them hurriedly sitting up straight and looking away sheepishly. Then, girlfriends began slapping their boyfriends upside the head.

Rachel couldn't fault the boys, though. Those girls, dressed in their blue, fitted uniforms, had been fiiiiiiiine. And the sighing? Was going to fuel a whole lot of wet dreams tonight.

}{}{}{

The ball was coming up, and everyone was scrambling to find dates to it. In fact, she had borne witness to Ron Weasley's humiliation when the boy had asked- more like blurted out- Fleur to accompany him. Didn't he know that she was far, far beyond his grasp?

The Sorting Hat never once said anything about Gryffindors being stupid, but after that display, she was tempted to think that with their great courage came great stupidity.

At least, she thought this until she found herself in her own embarrassing situation with a Beauxbaton girl by the name of Quinn Fabray.

}{}{}{

She hadn't meant to do it, she swore. It was a nice night, so she had just gone up to the Astronomy tower while everyone stuffed their faces during dinner in the Great Hall. She definitely hadn't expected someone else to already be up there, twirling her light blue hat and causing little birds to appear from it.

Rachel knew of the blonde- How could she not, when just about every dateless boy at Hogwarts was scrambling after her for the Yule Ball? She remained one of the last few Beauxbaton students still without a date, though it wasn't due to lack of requests. Rachel thought her really pretty- maybe even as pretty as Fleur, she wasn't sure since her mind tended to explode in a haze of rainbows whenever she crossed paths with one of them.

And now here Quinn was, sighing prettily (how did they do that!) as yellow birds flew around her head and back into her hat.

When Rachel suddenly appeared, Quinn had looked up, startled, before giving her a half-smile and brushing past the Slytherin girl as she left.

It was that light, almost-there touch that did it.

Rachel Berry subconsciously began doing The Creep after Quinn Fabray.

If she had been in possession of all her wits, she would have smacked herself silly because what about that screamed 'Good Idea'? Her actions were, she would admit, creepy, and she didn't fault the taller girl for doing what she did. Though she had to whine, why her nose and her hair?

Couldn't she just have stuck to throwing a spell that set her green and silver headband on fire? Why did Quinn see the need to throw that hat (that happened to be much heavier and more solid than it looks) at her face, sending it flying right for her nose?

When Quinn rushed forward and her fingers were laid on Rachel's face, the girl may or may not have forgotten her throbbing nose and just stared at her in utmost worship, which, she reflected upon later, might have warranted Quinn slapping her across the face.

Rachel's errant hand sneaking up to grope at her assets might possibly have to do with that, though.

}{}{}{

By the time Rachel made it out of the Headmaster's office, her dignity was in tatters and her ears still ringing with Madame Maxime's screeches of 'inappropriate groping' and how Rachel ought to have her prefect status stripped away after she demonstrated, rather appallingly, how she lacked for brains.

Rachel wished she would just get eaten by a dragon.

But, bright side was that she got to rub in everyone's faces that she, Rachel Berry, half-blood, was going to have Quinn Fabray on her arm during the Yule Ball.

A fact cemented by the number of times they got caught making out in little niches in the school by a livid Madame Maxime or Professor Snape, resulting in Rachel racking up the number of points Slytherin lost.

However, when Quinn tugged teasingly at her green and silver tie after her Headmistress stormed away, Rachel found that she didn't really give a damn.

Whoever knew that learning how to do the creep would result in this?