Another version of the missing night. Keep in mind that the emphasis is on the emotions rather than the actual sex. Also that writing heavy M stuff is completely embarassing for me so I strategically avoid it wherever possible.
The Hand in the Dark
She wasn't sure if her spontaneity was due to her grief or if it was a combination of related factors. She just knew that now was the moment she had to say something. Brennan took a few seconds to reign in her sobs at least most of the way and picked her head up from Booth's shoulder to look him in the eye.
"I don't want to be alone anymore," she told him in a shaking voice. Where had her self control gone?
"You're not alone; you have Angela and Hodgins and Max and Russ and me," he said softly. He raised his free hand that was not wrapped around her back to lay it against the side of her tear-stained face.
"That's not what I meant." She struggled to find an accurate way to voice her desires. Where had her composure gone? She sat up with one leg folded beneath her and the other hanging over the side of the bed. His hand dropped from her face and he raised himself onto his elbows.
"I want a romantic relationship with you," she said finally, wiping the wetness from her cheeks. "I want everything you believe love to be." Booth sat up fully and they found their bodies closer than either had expected. "I don't want to be alone anymore—I want to be with you. I want the life you think we can have together." She was still crying, no matter how hard she tried to stop. She thought of the last time she'd cried like this, in the car after he'd prevented another car from hitting her in the rain in some deserted alley.
"This is not a decision I've made out of sadness over Vincent's death," she emphasized. "I made this decision because," she paused to give a tearful laugh, "because I love you, Booth, and I regret not admitting it much sooner."
His mouth opened a little, as if he was going to say something to her, and she saw the light mist of tears in his eyes. He decided he didn't know what to say, and she saw him lean closer to her and then he came forward to press his lips so tenderly to hers. She closed her eyes and a few more tears leaked from her eyelids but she couldn't tell if the salty wetness she tasted on his lips was due to her tears or Booth's.
They had toed this line for so long, too long in fact, and neither could manage to slow their frenzied kissing down. Brennan had extraordinarily strong emotions coursing through her body and didn't know what else to do to express them besides hold on tightly to his upper arms as he lowered her to the bed and perched above her on his elbows. He cradled her head in his hands, his fingers threaded into her hair, and she trailed her hands up to his shoulders and then down his waist to the elastic of his sweatpants, feeling his muscles twitch beneath his fingers the whole way.
"I love you," Booth mumbled into her lips. "So much."
He kept repeating it, and she never grew tired of hearing it. But her body felt like she had poked a wet finger into an outlet and it was making her crazy. How long had she waited for this moment? She couldn't even remember anymore. It felt like forever.
"Booth... shut up," she complained quietly. She raised her head against his hands to hold their mouths together again. He gently removed his hands from her hair and kept one braced against the bed while the other slipped beneath her shirt—his shirt—and splayed over her abdomen briefly before continuing upward to her breast. Her skin felt so soft to him, smoother than he had ever imagined and so warm. His fingers pressed into her skin and she sighed softly, momentarily forgetting about kissing him.
He moved his lips to her cheek, still damp, and then to her jaw and neck. For a few seconds she feared she wouldn't make it another minute, so she pushed his hand out from under the shirt and quickly drew his up his back and over his head. She tossed it over the side of the bed and he shifted one knee between her thighs to support more of his weight as she quickly pushed his sweatpants and boxers down his legs. She hooked her foot around them from behind and pulled them off the rest of the way. Booth kissed her again and curled his fingers around the edge of her underwear to fumble with them until they dropped onto the floor with her pants. He leaned on one elbow and with his other hand pulled the sweatshirt over her head. Her face was red and puffy from crying, and yet she had never looked more beautiful than at that moment.
The anticipation was almost overwhelming in the seconds before Booth entered her body and then she was nearly in tears again as she wrapped her legs around his. Despite her beliefs about the laws of the universe and the extent of human senses, she could feel everything changing between them so fast. It had always been building up to this, of course, but it had never actually reached this level of change. Their relationship had been at a metaphorical standstill and now it was jumping off a cliff all at once.
Brennan had always been fascinated by the human body, the way muscles and bones worked together intricately, and the way Booth's movements brought incredible sensations to her body did not cease to amaze her. Sex with other men had always been pleasurable, but this experience with Booth seemed to be on an entirely different dimension. He only had to shift his hips slightly to cause currents to shoot through her nerves. It was not surprising, then, that she orgasmed and he followed almost immediately, all within a minute or two. Her fingertips pressed into his shoulders and he dropped his head onto the bed beside her neck, both breathing heavily.
Booth did not regret anything that had happened that night, but he had to wonder. Brennan had rejected any romantic relationship so strongly and for so long that he questioned his consciousness. He was stressed out and exhausted. It was possible that he was just dreaming. But then one of her hands settled on the back of his neck and he felt the pinch of one of his hairs being pulled and knew that he was perfectly awake and he had just made love to the woman he had been thinking about for years. He was fairly convinced that he was in some sort of shock, though.
"Bones?" he whispered, unwilling to move.
"Yes?" she breathed, trying to reclaim her coherency.
"What happens now?"
"I think you should sleep," she told him.
"I think that's a good idea," he agreed. Very slowly, he pulled himself away from her, though she maintained a grip on his arm until they were both lying under the blankets facing each other and she settled for just watching him with his eyes closed.
"I can't sleep when you're staring at me like that," he mumbled, cracking one eye open.
"I'm sorry," she said. "Would you like me to face the other direction?" She started to turn over to her other side to face the wall, but he put his hand on her arm to stop her.
"No. Just go to sleep, Bones. You still have all morning to stare at me," he whispered, moving his hand to hold onto one of hers.
"Okay," she agreed. She wanted to say something else to try to convey her feelings for him, though she was not sure what to say. He took that problem away by telling her that he loved her and she responded by holding tightly onto his hand. She would later refuse to see the significance of it, but they both fell asleep that way.
So? How was it? Let me know in a review please!