Lily

*coughs* This is not what it looks like. Actually, it is what it looks like. And it may well be awful, because, well, I'm new to this. I would like to point out, that the Severus/Lily pairing makes me want to rip my eyes out with a screwdriver - I much prefer Severus with Tom or Albus (depending on my current disposition). I do not like this pairing at all.

However. This is written for a friend. A very important friend.

This is dedicated to His Lil Half Blood Princess, in honor of her and the fact that she's an amazing person who makes me laugh, and smile, even when it's very dark over here. Thank you, my dear. *hug and smile*

Enjoy - if enough people like it - I may consider writing something similar. Oh. Albus isn't very nice in it, either.

~ SS19

"If you will not do this for me, Severus, at least consider doing it for her." Albus Dumbledore was sat, watching his companion, on the bench atop the Astronomy Tower. His eyes were hardened, his expression firm, and he would not relent the glare, not even when the tremble ran visibly through Severus' body.

Severus was leaning on the balcony opposite him, back to Albus, fists clenched around the uppermost railing so his knuckles were white. "-Don't-" He broke off, shaking his head, but refusing to speak any further.

Albus stood up, almost abruptly, "You made her a promise, Severus." His voice had turned almost sharp, "You owe her." He came closer, "Do you not remember that you are to blame for her death?"

Severus flinched, noticeably. He whirled to face Albus, "How dare you?"

Albus didn't react to Severus' words, "Thanks to you, Severus, Harry Potter does not have any parents. He has grown up not knowing his mother or his father - because of your selfishness and determination to prove yourself to your master."

Severus looked as if he wanted to take a step backward, but he was already pressed close to the railings. A frown was creasing his forehead.

"You condemned that child, Severus - and now, you dare to tell me that you will not protect him any further? You will leave him open to Lord Voldemort, so he could access his mind, perhaps see information that is paramount to our security, and worst of all, you do it because of a petty grudge." Albus raised one hand, "James Potter does not owe you anything, Severus. You owe him."

"I owe him nothing!" Severus shouted, "Do you forget what he did to me in my sixth year? Do you forget what he did in my fifth - "

"No - but I think you have forgotten what you did in your fifth year. What you said - to her."

All the emotion seemed to drain from Severus' face, leaving him colorless and pale before Albus, who was not quite finished. "I do not think you realise quite how hurt she was. You owe James and you owe Lily, because if it had not been for you, they would still be alive today - and yet you cannot bring yourself to teach Harry Occlumency?" He raised one eyebrow, blue irises like knives, "I do not think you loved her at all."

The change was very sudden. Every single muscle seemed to tighten in Severus' body, and Albus wondered for a fleeting moment if the Potions teacher would strike him. His voice had become deadly calm, "Do not bring her into this."

"Why not, Severus? Can you not bear it? The guilt?"

Severus' hand trembled, but Albus remained in his personal space, "What would she say to you if she could see you now? The way you abuse her son?" He could tell he was having an effect, because Severus' emotional control was truly slipping now. And behind that mask of indifference was a soul that was split and corrupted and screaming at the world, agonizing to the human who was forced to bear it. "So tell me, Severus, do you call that 'love'? What you do? How you belittle him? Embarrass him in front of both his friends and his enemies. How does that...make you...any different from his father? His father, that you state was a bully and a cruel person. How does that make you any different?"

"Do not compare me to him!" Severus spat, "I am nothing like him!"

"That is true. He was a star, Severus, a dazzling star who was brilliant - and you were selfish, and weak, and foolish - and thanks to you - he can no longer light up the sky, and we are left with the...cowards..."

Severus raised one hand, as if to strike Albus, but Dumbledore moved quicker and caught hold of Severus' collar, pushing back against one of the columns, "I see I have touched a nerve."

"I am no coward!"

"Then prove it - teach the boy Occlumency, and prove to Lily that you are worth something." He tightened his grip and Severus jerked his chin away so that none of his skin touched against Albus' hand. His eyes, however, did not leave Albus', "I loved her." He whispered.

"Did you? Did you really?" Albus knew he was almost taunting the younger man, "I do not believe you."

"Let go of me." Severus wrenched himself away, turning away. Albus waited for a second, but Severus seemed to offer no more.

He moved toward the exit of the Astronomy Tower. "He has her eyes, you know, Harry. I do not see how you can look at him, and not feel terribly guilty. The guilt must be so much to bear - if only...there was something you could do to protect him, to redeem yourself...in her eyes...to make sure the last of Lily Evans is not destroyed by the same darkness..." He kept his back to Severus, ignoring the fact he could hear sharp intakes of breath suggesting the other was no longer stable.

Silence. And so he waited.

And then. "When?"

"You can start tomorrow night." Albus turned back to Severus, who was facing him now, "Thank you, Severus." He rewarded the younger wizard with a small smile.

Severus continued to stare at him, "It is not for him. It is for her."

"That does not matter to me. Ensure you keep your promise, Severus. I will not be quite so forgiving next time." Albus turned away and left Severus, stood atop the Astronomy Tower.

Severus looked back to the stars, a single tear leaving his eye unbidden before he could catch it. "It is always for you." He paused, something choking his throat. "Lily."