Secrets and Lies

1

Is the truth worth dying for?

Pa has always had us believe it is. There are some values, he says, which a man must fight for, and even die defending. Truth is one. Justice is another. My father is a man of high principles and strong determination. I admire him for that. All my life, I've tried to be the kind of man he is, a strong man who upholds fairness, honesty and integrity; a selfless man who won't allow himself to be swayed by public opinion or his own emotions.

Until now.

Now, waiting here in this hotel room, I realise I don't know any more. All that's happened in the last few weeks has left me questioning every conviction I ever held. After all, if I hadn't been so insistent that the truth be told, would we be here now, the three of us? Waiting to watch Joe hang tomorrow?

I still find it hard to believe that this whole thing began with such a simple, innocent event. If I had known what that chance meeting on a spring afternoon would lead to, I never would have gotten out of bed that day.

2

Virginia City was bustling, glowing in the warm sunshine as if the town was smiling to have finally shrugged off its winter coat. Pa and I were loading sacks of feed onto the buckboard. Joe crossed the street with a parcel under his arm. He was whistling as he walked. It was that kind of a day.

'How long's it take to pick up a shirt?' I teased him as he tossed the parcel onto the seat.

'Depends how good you wanna look.' He gave me a lopsided grin. 'Those girls at the dance on Saturday night ain't gonna know what hit 'em.'

I raised my eyebrow at him. 'Nor will you if you don't lend a hand.'

'Where's Hoss?'

'Getting his boots fixed. Said he might as well since we were in town. We're going to meet him over in the Silver Dollar before we head home.'

Pa straightened his back and tipped his hat to a small group walking past, an older woman in a cream bonnet, a younger one in a straw hat tied with a green ribbon, and a boy of about fourteen or so with a dark shock of untidy hair. I recognised them vaguely, and then Pa said, 'Afternoon, Harriet,' and I remembered who they were. Harriet Donohue. Her daughter had been friends with Joe when they were kids at school together.

Her daughter. I looked again at the younger woman. Was this dark-haired beauty the little tousle-headed imp who used to run wild with Joe?

'Ben Cartwright,' said Harriet. 'Nice to see you again. Do you remember my children, Josie and Danny?'

'I certainly do,' smiled Pa. 'But I wouldn't have recognised either of them; they've grown up so much.'

'Hello, Jo,' said Joe.

Jo. Of course! The instant I heard the name, I recalled the first time I'd met her. I'd thought I was being introduced to another Joe, another nine-year-old tornado hurtling around the ranch with my little brother. She had looked just like a boy in her old shirt and scuffed overalls, with her pigtails hidden inside her hat, and dirt all over her face. Joe and Joe. Double trouble. Then she had whipped off her hat and grinned at me, and I'd realised my mistake.

No mistaking her for a boy now, I thought. She was pretty even though the pale green dress she wore was plain and faded. She had heavy, shining ebony curls held back from her face with a simple clip.

'Little Joe!' The dark eyes lit up and the full mouth broke wide as she recognised him. I was not above feeling a slight stab of regret that I wasn't the old friend she'd just met again.

'Haven't seen you in ages,' said Joe.

The girl's eyes flicked to her mother. Her smile faded fractionally. 'No. We've been busy. Ma's married again, you know.'

Pa smiled. 'That's right. I heard. Congratulations.'

Harriet dropped her eyes. 'Well, it was a while ago now, Ben. But Zach's a good man, and he works hard. After Walter died, things fell apart some. It makes a difference, a man's hand around the place.'

Pa nodded, and we all smiled and said nothing about the state of the place even when Walter had still been alive. We all remembered Walter and his reputation as the town drunk.

Joe grinned at Josie. 'Why don't you come to the dance here Saturday night?'

I have to admire Joe. Plenty of boys his age are too awkward and shy to approach a girl, but not my brother. I flatter myself he acquired this particular skill from me, but truth is, he's bolder than I was at his age.

Josie looked at her mother again and dropped her eyes to the ground. 'I don't know, Little Joe. My stepfather… doesn't really approve of dances.'

'See if you can persuade him.'

Before Josie could reply, her brother stepped in. 'He says fellas only have one thing on their mind at a dance, and it ain't dancing.'

'Danny!' Harriet looked horrified.

I tried to disguise my smile. 'I'm sure my brother's intentions are strictly honourable,' I informed Danny.

Harriet's face had flushed a deep pink. 'Zach's only got your best interests at heart,' she told her daughter.

'I could pick you up,' offered Joe, undaunted.

'Perhaps another time.' Distracted, Harriet peered around Pa, up the street. 'We're meeting my husband for tea,' she explained. 'He goes to a prayer meeting Thursday afternoons, but we all came into town today specially, because it's Danny's birthday. I promised him a new knife. Come along, you two. We mustn't keep your step pa waiting. Good to see you again, Ben.'

We touched our hats as Harriet took Danny by the arm and moved away. Josie hesitated and looked at Joe.

'If I can get there, I will, Little Joe. Watch out for me.'

He grinned. 'I will.'

'About time that woman had some luck,' said Pa, as Harriet and her children walked away along the street towards Rosie's tea shop. 'Heaven knows she's had enough misery. I hope it works out for her this time.'

I picked up the last sack and hefted it onto the wagon, brushing the dust from my hands. 'Well, whoever she's married, he can't be as bad as Walter.'

Pa looked down the street. Harriet and her two children were almost at the tea shop. 'Oh, Walter wasn't always that bad. He turned to drink after his boy died. The youngest one.'

'Sam,' said Joe.

I hadn't heard this story before, but the pretty Josie had me interested. 'How'd he die?'

'Measles,' said Joe. 'He was only about three when it happened. They all got sick, Jo, Danny and Sam. But Sam went down the worst.'

'They've got some good land,' Pa went on, 'but after the child died, Walter just fell apart. Started drinking and gambling. And the place fell apart too. I guess there was no money left. When little Josie came round with Joe, I used to get Hop Sing to fix her something to eat because she was always hungry. Bit of a tearaway, I seem to recall.' Pa fixed Joe with an amused smile. 'Got you into trouble a few times, if I remember rightly.'

Joe smiled. 'Nothing serious.' He shook his head, remembering. 'Mostly we were out on our horses. Boy, she sure could ride!'

3

I didn't give Josie another thought until that Saturday night at the dance. I'd got talking to Beth Winsley. Her father was a lawyer and her family new in town. Willowy, elegant and fair-headed, she reminded me of a swan in her white silk dress. She was the kind of girl who turned heads when she walked into a room. I couldn't believe my luck when she accepted my invitation to dance.

It was only as we were dancing, and I found myself almost shoulder to shoulder with Josie that I realised she was there. Joe, holding onto her, flashed me a jubilant grin.

'Glad you managed to persuade your stepfather.'

Josie returned my smile with one of her own. She was dressed in the same plain green dress we'd seen her wearing in town. I wondered if money was still tight for the family since Walter's death and Harriet's remarriage. But with hair as beautiful as hers, and her wide dark eyes, it wouldn't have mattered if she had been wearing a horse blanket; she would still have been pretty. Her rich, deep curls were fixed with a simple ribbon, but that was enough.

The music drew to a close, and since we were together, I offered to fetch drinks for both ladies. Much to my delight, Beth accepted. It seemed likely I would have the next dance too.

'I think I ought to be going,' said Josie, flicking a glance towards the door.

Joe looked disappointed. 'It's only been three dances,' he protested. 'At least stay for one more.'

She looked back at him, and then once more at the door. 'All right,' she agreed. 'I'll have a drink and one more dance, and then I really have to go.'

He grinned, and I could see he thought he would be able to persuade her otherwise when the time came.

Joe and I went to fetch drinks and when we came back the two girls were laughing together.

'Josie was just telling me about the time you landed in the mud, Little Joe,' said Beth, her blue eyes dancing with fun.

Joe grinned. 'Just the one time? Seem to recall I was always the one to land flat on my face when she had one of her hare-brained schemes.'

'We were jumping the creek, remember?' said Josie.

'That was your idea, as well,' Joe reminded her. 'Jo thought we should get our ponies to jump the creek, wider and wider.' He shook his head, remembering. 'Trouble was, my pony had other ideas. He stopped dead and I carried on. Wouldn't have been so bad if there had been some water in the creek, but it was just mud at the time. She laughed at me all the way home.'

'I couldn't help it. Every time I looked at him, it just started me off again,' Josie recalled, laughing even now. 'With his hair sticking up all over his head! There was mud in his ears and mud up his nose! And as we were riding back, the sun was drying him out, and all his clothes were going stiff like they were made of clay.'

I'd forgotten that little incident until Josie recalled it to me. At least I remembered Joe riding back into the yard and Pa's look of despair when he saw the state of his youngest son. I grinned too. 'That's right. I remember you arriving home. You looked like a mud-baked scarecrow!'

As Josie giggled, I caught a glimpse of the mischievous nine year old tomboy again. Strange how she and Joe had been such close friends for a couple of years, always out on their horses together-– the one as reckless as the other - and then she had faded from the sphere. Was that just because they were both growing up, and the gender difference had finally intruded between them? I couldn't remember when she had ceased to be part of Joe's life. With twelve years between Joe and me, I never really took much interest in his friends. Now, remembering what Pa had said, it must have been about the time her brother died and her father's downward spiral began. I hadn't even noticed her absence, yet now I found myself wondering how her life must have been changed by circumstances beyond her childish control. Jerked without warning from carelessness to responsibility. I felt a sharp pang of regret, and realised I was thinking of my own childhood. As far back as I remember there was always Pa to worry about. Then Hoss, then Joe. How I've envied Joe the freedom he had to be a child. He never had to grow up too fast. Sometimes I've rolled my eyes and despaired if he would ever actually grow up at all!

Ironic really. He's not going to have the chance now.

That night, at the dance, I could see that long ago friendship between them had never really died. The spark was there again in both their faces. There was something more in Joe's too. My brother is like an open book, never able to keep his feelings from showing in his face. I could see the glow in his eyes whenever he looked at Josie. I could sense a similar glow inside me whenever I looked at Beth, but I knew nobody would read that as easily in my face.

The band struck up for the next dance, and Joe put down his glass and reached for Josie's hand.

'Come on, Jo. Let's dance.'

'Excuse us,' said Josie, turning to flash a smile at me and Beth. The smile froze on her face, her mouth fell open and her eyes widened with horror. I turned to look where she was looking. In the same instant I was barged roughly aside by a bulky shoulder, and a huge man pushed past me and seized Josie by the arm.

'Outside!' He had a broad, heavily chiselled face and the build of a wrestler. His barked order did not invite protest, but Josie resisted all the same. Obviously she hadn't lost any of the feistiness she'd possessed as a nine-year-old.

'I'm not a child!' she said, attempting to twist her arm out of his grasp.

'I'm afraid you are. You're certainly behaving like one right now.'

She tried again to pull her arm fee, but the big man jerked it up behind her back. She let out a sharp cry of pain.

'Hey!' said Joe, who still had hold of her other hand. 'You're hurting her.'

The man flashed him a cold look. 'Mind your own business, sonny. Now, Josephine, outside.' He gave her pinned arm another twist and she sucked in a sharp breath of pain.

I was torn. I don't like to stand by and watch a man deliberately hurt a woman, but I could only assume this was Zach McKenzie, Josie's stepfather, and I wasn't sure I had the right to intervene.

Joe, however, let no such reservations stand in his way. 'Let her go. You're hurting her,' he frowned, and reached to grab McKenzie's arm, the one that held Josie.

Instantly, McKenzie's other arm flew out and Joe sailed backwards, colliding with several unsuspecting couples on the dance floor, and landing sprawling amongst their feet. A murmur of dismay rippled through the room, and the music stalled momentarily. While we were still gaping, the big man shoved Josie ahead of him, out of the room.

A brief, stunned silence stilled the dance floor. Almost instantly, the band recovered and picked up the rhythm again. Those furthest away began once more to dance, as though nothing had happened.

James Drew and Philip Huldon were helping Joe to his feet. He looked dazed and unsteady. Quickly I stepped over and took his arm. Hoss pushed his way through the throng of dancers, his face anxious and creased. 'Who was that? Wha' did Little Joe do to upset him?'

'I imagine that was Josie's stepfather,' I answered.

'Zach McKenzie,' said Beth. 'One of my father's clients.'

'Let's get Joe outside, into the fresh air,' I suggested.

'He was a big fella,' muttered Hoss as we led Joe out into the street between us, 'even by my reckoning.'

'That's going to be a nasty bruise,' said Beth, pulling a face, as I sat Joe down against the wall.

Joe rubbed gingerly at his temple. 'Boy, I sure didn't see that coming. What was eatin' him?'

'I get the impression he wasn't happy to find Josie at the dance,' I told him. 'Presumably she didn't have permission to be here.'

Joe moved his head slowly from side to side, as though worried it might have come loose. 'She didn't. She already told me that. That's why she wanted to get away quickly.' He looked aggrieved. 'There was no call to go hurtin' her though. Or me!'

'Fellas only have one thing on their mind at a dance, and it ain't dancing,' I reminded him, and gave him a grin to cheer him up.

There was no avoiding Pa's questions when we got back to the Ponderosa. A purple bruise was already darkening the side of Joe's face and threatening to encompass his left eye.

Hoss jumped quickly to Joe's defence when he saw Pa's craggy brow draw down ominously. 'It wan't his fault, Pa!'

I refrained from adding, 'for once,' because Joe didn't look like he'd appreciate the comment with Pa's hawk eyes trained on him. Pa looked first doubtful, then puzzled as we related what had happened.

'He's a big fella,' I told Pa. 'Built like a grizzly. Could give Hoss here a run for his money. Lucky he didn't knock Joe's head off!'

Joe gave me an indignant look.

Pa shook his head. 'I guess he was worried. If Josie had disobeyed him, it's understandable he'd be angry.'

Joe was still looking hurt. 'It was only a dance, Pa. We weren't doing any harm.'

'If she'd been told she wasn't to go, then she was bound to get into trouble. She never did shy away from trouble, that one.' Pa held up a hand to stall Joe's protest. 'We can't be judging other people, Joe. That family's been through difficult times, and now they're learning to settle down all over again. It might sound hard to you, but Zach McKenzie probably has very good reasons for taking a firm hand with those children. They never got much discipline when they were younger, after all. My advice to you, Joseph, is not to interfere. Her stepfather's not likely to take kindly to it. Steer clear. Don't go looking for trouble.'

I couldn't help raising my eyebrow at the irony of those words. To Joe. Don't go looking for trouble. Seems to me, Little Joe never has to go looking for trouble. Trouble just finds him anyway.

Big, big trouble.

4

I got an opportunity to renew my acquaintance with Zach McKenzie only two days later.

Pa and I had our heads down over the accounts, working through them in our usual meticulous fashion. It was a task that required concentration and was more efficiently achieved without constant interruptions, so Pa had sent Hoss and Joe away with enough fence mending to keep them occupied until sunset.

'Somebody's riding in,' I said to Pa, lifting my head from the paperwork to listen.

'See who it is, will you?' Pa was in the middle of adding figures, so I got up and went to the door.

'Mister McKenzie.' I took a few steps out onto the porch as he climbed down off the back of a big grey gelding and turned to greet me with an unsmiling nod.

'You're one of the Cartwright boys, are you? Your father at home?'

'I'm Adam Cartwright.' Ignoring the implied dismissal, I held out my hand and met his hard gaze with my own. I wasn't about to be intimidated by this man, not outside my own house, even if he was twice my size. He took my hand, a little grudgingly. I could feel the hard callouses of his palm against mine. 'My father's inside. Won't you come on in?'

Pa looked up as we came in, and I saw his eyebrows twitch upwards as he took in Zach McKenzie's vast proportions.

'Pa,' I said, 'this is Mister McKenzie, Josie's stepfather.'

Pa got up to shake hands and wave our visitor into a seat. He offered coffee but McKenzie declined with a shake of his head. 'I'm not here to keep you from your business, Mister Cartwright. What I have to say won't take long.' His broad-boned features were stern and hard, like they had never been designed for smiling. 'As you probably know, Harriet and I were married only a few months back.'

Pa nodded. 'Yes, I heard. Good news for Harriet.'

McKenzie acknowledged that with a nod. 'There's been a deal of work to do to bring that place back to any kind of order, but it seems to me it's finally coming together.'

Pa nodded again, as if he was wondering where McKenzie was leading. 'You've done a fine job, Mister McKenzie. The place is hardly recognisable from what it used to be.'

'I try, Cartwright, I try. But that's only one part of it. The hard part's bringing some order to those two young ones of Harriet's. You're a parent, Cartwright, you appreciate how hard it is to raise children. And these aren't my own which makes the task doubly difficult.'

'I can see it'd be a challenge,' Pa agreed. 'And the name's Ben.'

'Well Ben, those two children, they've been left to run their own ways for too long now. Their late father set a poor example; and their mother - she's a kind and caring woman, but she's let them take advantage of her good nature. They've lacked discipline and guidance, and I intend to put that right and turn them back onto a straight path.'

I gave Pa a sideways glance. I could see the little frown beginning to dent his forehead.

'I'm a man who believes deeply in the Good Book, Ben. As I'm sure you do too. "The rod and reproof give wisdom: but a child left to himself bringeth his mother to shame".'

Pa's frown had deepened. 'Mister McKenzie, exactly what is it you came here to talk to me about?'

'About your son, Ben.'

Pa looked at me.

'Your other son,' said McKenzie. 'Little Joe, I believe he's called?'

'Ah, Joseph, yes.'

'Your sons may have told you of the little altercation we had on Saturday night in Virginia City.'

'They certainly did.' The stern lines in Pa's face deepened. I knew he was thinking about the colourful bruise Joe was still wearing as a token of that altercation.

It was McKenzie's turn to frown. 'It was a presumption on his part, Ben, to interfere in business that didn't concern him.'

'He was simply trying to defend a friend,' I intervened, and McKenzie looked at me in some surprise, as if I had no right to join in the conversation. 'He didn't like seeing Josie get hurt. None of us did.'

'No harm came to my stepdaughter, I assure you.' McKenzie's eyes, fixed on my face, were iron grey. 'She had been told she would not go to the dance and she chose to disobey. She is a very wilful girl with little respect for any authority and needs to learn to do as she is told. The Good Book commands children to obey their parents.'

Pa's mouth tightened. 'I think you'll find, Mister McKenzie, that the same passage also advises parents not to provoke their children.'

McKenzie was silent for a moment while he measured Pa with his colourless gaze. I was surprised when he nodded. 'You're right, Ben. I pray continually for guidance in dealing with those children, and it never was my intention to provoke the child. But sometimes young people cannot see that the things we do for them are for their own good, for the good of their futures, their characters.'

'That's certainly true.' I could hear in Pa's voice he was trying to remain courteous, but his patience was wearing thin. 'But what is it you want from me, 'Mister McKenzie?

'I would like you to tell your son, Joseph, to stay away from Josie. I have been informed by several reliable sources that his reputation is -– how shall I put it? -– dubious. Sorry as I am to have to say it, association with your son could compromise a respectable girl's character.' McKenzie held up his hand to forestall Pa's protest. 'I was young once, Ben. I know what goes on in the heads of young men.' He spared me a disdainful glance as though I too was a vessel of licentiousness. 'My advice to you would be to keep a tight check on that boy of yours before he brings your name into disrepute.'

Pa's mouth fell open. He snapped it shut again. 'Thank you for your advice, Mister McKenzie, but I have faith in the honour and integrity of all my sons.'

McKenzie rose. 'I hope you won't find your faith misplaced, Ben. As long as he stays away from Josie, there won't be any more misunderstandings.'

Pa shook his hand in stony silence, and followed him to the door. I wasn't sure whether to be amused or affronted. As Pa closed the door and turned back to me, I couldn't suppress a smirk.

Pa gave me a hard look. 'It's no laughing matter, Adam.'

'Aw, come on, Pa! The girls flock around Joe, sure, but he's hardly disreputable!'

'People haven't forgotten about Julia.' I could see McKenzie's words had opened an old wound for Pa. Joe's affair with Virginia City's most renowned prostitute had cut deep.

'It's also public knowledge, Pa, how Joe tried to make that respectable. He asked Julia to marry him. She declined. McKenzie can hardly hold that against him.'

'He's got a daughter to think about. If I had a daughter, maybe I'd feel the same way.'

We never talk much about Julia in our house. Any mention of her name always seems to end a conversation. It's like a scar that won't heal, and it's inside both Pa and Joe.

5

'Quit your dreamin' Adam an' hold this post, will ya?'

Hoss was rarely grumpy, but this was one of the rare days, and it was mostly down to his being hungry. I wasn't helping his mood much, distracted as I was. Last night I'd taken Beth out to dinner, to the little French restaurant in Virginia City. All evening we'd talked like we'd known each other for years. Not only was she beautiful, she was intelligent and articulate, with a quick wit and a bubbling laugh. It was easy to laugh with her too. Afterwards, when I drove her home in the buggy, she let me kiss her.

It was that glorious kiss I kept reliving. I still felt as if I was floating inches off the ground when I thought of it. The soft coolness of her mouth and the scent of her perfumed skin as she leaned into me. Even putting up a fence couldn't bring my feet back down to earth. I kept catching myself grinning inanely at nothing in particular. Hoss had humoured me so far, but I could tell his patience was wearing thin.

'Sorry, Hoss. I was thinking...'

'About Beth,' Hoss finished for me. 'Yeah, I know. Here hold this, will ya? Between you and Little Joe, I might as well be working on my own.'

Little Joe was the real cause of Hoss's resentment. He was supposed to have been down to lend a hand with the fence, and, more importantly to Hoss's mind, brought our lunch with him. It was now four o'clock and there was still no sign of him. Resigned by then to going hungry, in my state of heady distraction I'd hardly noticed, but Hoss was not happy.

'Maybe Pa decided to send him off on some other errand,' I suggested, my mood inclining me to generosity toward my wayward youngest brother.

Hoss grunted as he hammered the post. I got the distinct impression he would have liked to hammer Little Joe instead.

'More likely he's slacking off again. Like he did last week when he was supposed to be helping us move that cattle and he never showed. How come Pa lets him get away with it all the time?'

'Aw, come on, Hoss. Joe's always getting an earful from Pa for something or other. It's just his mind's always off on other things. You know Joe.'

'Seems everyone's head is off on other things today.' Hoss picked up a fence rail. The little frown gradually eased from his face. He could never hold a grudge for long. 'So when are you planning to see her again, Adam?'

Cochise was in his stall when we got back. I loitered in the barn, deliberately slow in rubbing down my horse, while Hoss stumped off in search of our errant little brother. I was still reliving the night before in my head and I was reluctant to spoil my euphoria with a petty argument. I could hear the raised voices in the house, even from that distance, and then yelling in the yard, and Pa's voice bellowing for a ceasefire over the top of Joe's protests. Then there was a loud splash and a shrill squawk from Joe. I finally deemed it safe to emerge from the barn, in time to see an indignant Joe scrambling out of the water trough, and Hoss marching away towards the house, rubbing his hands together in satisfaction.

'Look what he did!' Joe held up his hands to give me a better view of his sodden state. Seeing I was unmoved by his predicament, he rolled his eyes.

'So where were you?' I asked him.

He pulled off his boots to empty them of water. 'Sorry, Adam. I guess I forgot. Boy, Hoss sure was mad!'

Hands on his hips, Pa was watching us from the porch. Joe peeled off his shirt and wrung it out.

'I take it you weren't where you were meant to be, Joseph,' said Pa, looking stern.

Still dripping, boots in hand, Joe headed for the house. 'Sorry, Pa. I forgot, that's all.'

He was brought up short in front of Pa, who hadn't moved at all, his formidable frame blocking the doorway.

'It's not good enough, leaving your brothers to do all the work.'

Joe hung his head. Bedraggled and wet, he looked suitably pathetic. Hoss was right, I thought. Joe can rile Pa like no one else, but when he wants to, he can wrap Pa around his finger with those mournful eyes he pulls, like a little lost dog.

'I'm sorry, Pa,' he repeated, as the water dripped from the curls clinging to his head and ran down his face like contrite tears. 'It won't happen again.'

Pa let out an exasperated sigh. I wasn't sure whether it was aimed at Joe or at himself for giving in yet again to those sad, angelic eyes. 'Make sure it doesn't. Go on. Go and get dried off.'

And then, the very next week, it happened again.

It was Thursday morning. Hoss and I were shoeing the horses, outside the barn. Joe was splitting logs by the house. Pa was meant to be resting. One of our big cart horses had trampled his foot the day before. We suspected he had some broken toes too. His foot was certainly bruised and swollen. Pa hates being laid up. His mood was as black as his foot with the enforced inactivity.

He hobbled out of the house, leaning heavily on a stick and waved a sheet of folded paper in the air. 'I need one of you to ride into Virginia City and send this telegram. It's important. There's a note for the bank too.'

'I'll go,' I said swiftly, deliberately keeping the eagerness out of my voice. A ride into town gave me an excuse to call on Beth.

'Yeah, I bet you will,' murmured Hoss, under his breath, and gave me a crooked grin. Obviously I was more transparent than I imagined.

Joe looked piqued that I'd beaten him to the task. A ride into town was always preferable in his mind to chores around the house. 'I've nearly finished these logs. I could go instead,' he volunteered.

Pa was in no mood to be gainsaid that morning and gave Joe an abrupt response. 'You've got plenty to be doing round here.' He made to turn back into the house, but a thought struck him and he turned back. 'Since you're so keen to be in the saddle, you can take some supplies up to Ol' Trapper. I haven't been up there in a while and now, with this foot, it's going to be a good while longer.'

Joe's face fell. 'Oh no, Pa! Can't Adam do that and I'll do the bank?'

Pa's expression hardened. 'It won't hurt you to do something neighbourly. Ol' Trapper's been suffering with his back the whole winter. You can take the supplies up to him and help him out with anything that needs doing.'

I almost laughed at Joe's expression of disgust. Ol' Trapper lived a reclusive existence in a shack up on the mountain, doing as his name suggested. We've always called him Ol' Trapper, and if he ever had another name, I've never heard it. Pa has a real soft spot for the old hermit. Ol' Trapper began his working life as a cabin boy on a ship, and was a sailor for countless years before drifting west and settling here, and maybe that's why he and Pa have that connection. Ol' Trapper and Pa get along real fine, but the old man is of the strong opinion that good character in a young man is directly proportional to the amount of work he is given to do. When Pa takes supplies up to Ol' Trapper, the two of them sit and drink coffee and swap tales of the sea. When Hoss, Joe or I go, he feels it incumbent upon himself to find as many chores as he can for us to complete.

Ol' Trapper's health had been failing in the last year, but nothing would persuade him to move down off that mountain where life would be easier. 'Everyone's gotta die somewhere, so I might as well die here an' die happy,' he would say whenever one of us mentioned the idea.

Joe wasn't about to give up easily. 'Well, what about Hoss?'

Pa's brows drew down ominously. 'Hoss has those horses to finish. You'll be done with those logs in an hour. I'll get Hop Sing to pack up some supplies.' Without waiting for any more argument, Pa turned back into the house, banging his stick hard into the floor with every step to express his irritation.

Joe scowled. Hoss looked at him with an impish smile on his face. 'Never mind, younger brother,' he said to Joe, his voice teasing. 'If you're lucky, Ol' Trapper may just have had his annual wash.'

Joe gave him a black look.

6

It took only a short time to send the telegram and sort out the business at the bank, leaving me plenty of time to call on Beth. We took a short walk together and when we were out of sight of the town, she let me kiss her again, almost as if we both needed to reassure ourselves that last night hadn't been a dream. Her lips were as soft and cool as I remembered, and maybe even a little more yielding. After that, we had tea with her mother and sister, and I set off back to the Ponderosa, more light-headed than before.

The stupid grin was back on my face. My lips were still tingling. We had known each other barely a month, but already I was in love. How could I not be? I could not get her out of my head. How to know if she felt the same way though? Was it too early to say something to her? Would I scare her away if I did?

I had left the road a while back, cutting cross country towards home. With less than five miles to go, I spotted a movement in the rocks ahead. Pulling up my horse, I leaned forward to get a closer look. For a moment there was nothing; then I saw it again. No mistaking it this time. Slinking between the rocks, sleek and sinewy, was a big mountain lion. I reached for my rifle. The calves we'd lost in recent weeks, I reckoned I'd just spotted the culprit.

The cat hadn't seen me. It slipped down easily through the rocks, heading for the creek. I couldn't take my horse down the steep rocky drop, and if I clambered down on foot, the cat was sure to spot me and take off. I wheeled my horse about quietly and backtracked a hundred yards to where a narrow trail wound down through the scrub. With luck, I could head it off before it reached the bottom of the gully and get a good shot from below.

I nudged the horse down the slope. We had the cover of the brush for fifty or so yards, and then the path opened out and I could see the creek below, fringed by new spring grass. I scanned the left hand slopes for any sign of the lion, but my eye was caught instead by a movement on the other bank.

A black horse, nose down, grazing, and just behind it, another horse, white and black, with unmistakable markings. I frowned as my eyes moved on.

I didn't have to look far. Behind the grazing horses, I could clearly see two figures, stretched out on the grass together. There was no mistaking my brother, and it took me only a moment to identify the girl in his arms. A girl, dressed like a boy, but with long waves of black hair that glinted darkly in the sunlight. I was close enough that I could have thrown a stone and hit Joe on the shoulder, but they hadn't seen me; they were too wrapped up in each other.

I bit my lip and backed into the brush cover again. At that moment, I didn't know whether to be cross or amused with my little brother, but my head was still full of Beth, and I was inclined to the latter. If I was in love, why shouldn't Joe be too?

Was this the explanation for Joe's mysterious absences? I thought back, and pieces fell neatly into place. It was Thursday afternoon. If memory served me correctly, it was Thursday afternoons he'd vanished before with no explanation. Now it made sense. On Thursday afternoons, Harriet had said, her husband went to a prayer meeting in town.

I had been there the evening after Zach McKenzie's visit to the Ponderosa, when Pa told Joe that he needed to stay away from Josie if he wanted to keep his face intact. Well, Pa didn't phrase it quite like that, but that was the gist of the warning. So now it seemed they were resorting to secret meetings. Little Joe, I thought to myself, you're playing with fire!

The image of the two of them played on my mind as I rode on home. I knew Joe wouldn't appreciate any interference on my part in his affairs with the opposite sex. But there had been an element of truth in what Zach McKenzie had had to say about my little brother, and while that seemed to sit lightly with Joe, it gave Hoss and me -– and Pa especially - plenty of cause for disquiet. I would have to have a quiet word with Joe, I decided, before he and Josie found themselves in more trouble with Zach McKenzie.

Joe wasn't back for dinner. Pa and Hoss weren't surprised because they knew Ol' Trapper. I wasn't surprised because I knew what had really delayed him.

'Prob'ly got Joe puttin' whole a new roof on his shack,' grinned Hoss, enjoying his own mental images of Joe's sufferings.

I said nothing to Pa and Hoss about what I'd seen down at the creek. Pa's mood was still marred by his injury, and not simply because it restricted his usefulness around the ranch. I could tell he was in more pain than he would ever admit. Learning that Joe had deliberately countermanded his instructions would only have soured his temper further. And it seemed right that I should talk first to Joe, and find out what he had to say for himself.

By ten o'clock, I could see Pa glancing at the clock and becoming restless. Shortly after that we heard sounds outside and I saw relief sweep briefly across Pa's features, until we realised it was not the sound of one horse we heard, but several. And the rattle and rumble of a wagon too. I went to the door, Hoss right behind me. Out in the yard was the sheriff with one of his deputies, on horseback, and a second deputy driving a wagon. I looked at Hoss and saw the same apprehension in his eyes as I knew was in mine.

'Roy,' said my father, from his armchair. 'What brings you out here at this time of night?' There was alarm in Pa's face too. The same dread was in all our minds.

'Bad news, I'm afraid, Ben.' Roy's face was grim. 'Just been out to a body. On your land. A few miles down the road, down by the creek. A girl. Josie McKenzie.'

My heart took a horrible leap into my throat. I had dreaded the sheriff might have another name on his lips. I should have been relieved, yet the shock hit me like a blow to the belly. 'Josie!'

Roy turned his face to me. 'You know her?'

'We know her,' said Pa. 'She and Joe were at school together. They were friends. What happened, Roy?'

Roy shook his head. 'We don't know for sure. Head smashed open on a rock.'

Hoss grimaced. 'She fall from a horse?' he asked, but Roy shook his head.

'Don't think it was as simple as that.' His mouth tightened. 'She'd been attacked. Wa'n't a pretty sight.' He jerked his head in the direction of the door. We're takin' her body back into town with us now. See what the doctor can tell us. Since we were passin', I thought I'd call in and see if any of you had seen or heard anythin'. And as this has happened on your land, Ben, thought I oughta let you know that I'm gonna have to come back with some men tomorrow and have a proper look around in the daylight. I'll need to talk to your men too.'

Pa had paled. I imagined, like me, he'd been hit by that same blast of instant relief followed by stomach wrenching shock. 'What can we do to help?' Pa gestured at his injured foot. 'I'm afraid I'm not much use at the moment, Roy, but if my boys can help, or if you need any men...'

Roy nodded. 'Thanks, Ben. I might take you up on the offer. See what daylight brings.'

'When did this happen?' I had to force my voice out. I hoped it sounded level.

'We're not sure yet Adam. 'Safternoon, I'd guess. When she didn't show up for dinner, her ma said she was ridin' down by the creek an' Zach McKenzie went lookin' for her there. He was the one who found her. He's gone back to break the news to her ma. Poor woman! As if she ain't had enough tragedy!'

'I can ask around the hands here. Find out if anyone saw anything,' Pa offered.

'Thanks, Ben.' Roy looked round at us all. 'I'd best be on my way. Need to get the girl back to town. Where's Little Joe tonight?'

'He rode on up to Ol' Trapper's with some supplies. He's not got back yet.'

'I'm sorry I had to bring such bad news about an old friend of his.' Roy nodded at Pa. 'I'll speak to you tomorrow, Ben.'

Hoss went to the door to see the sheriff out, to save Pa hobbling any more than he needed to on his injured foot. I was glad he went. The thought of Josie lying dead in that wagon filled me with inexplicable dread.

We heard the sheriff's convoy ride away and Hoss came back inside and closed the door. He looked at me and frowned. 'You awright, Adam?'

I sank down in the armchair. I must have looked as white as I felt. Without saying another word, Hoss poured each of us a brandy. I accepted mine gratefully, while my mind wrestled in a knot of indecision.

'I saw Josie,' I said, finally, gathering my resolve, 'this afternoon. Down by the creek.' I could feel Hoss and Pa staring at me in puzzled surprise. 'She was with Joe.'

'Joe?' Pa shook his head. 'Joe was up at Ol' Trapper's.'

'No, he wasn't Pa. That was where he was supposed to be.'

'Down at the creek?' I could hear the hollow realisation in Hoss's voice. 'When was that, Adam?'

'On my way back from town. About two o'clock I guess. They didn't see me, but I saw them.'

Nobody said anything for a few moments. I knew we were all having difficulty grasping the implications of what I'd just told them. Pa stared hard into his brandy glass, his brow furrowed deeply. Then he looked up at me, dark eyes filled with dread.

'What were they doing when you saw them?'

I didn't want to have to tell him, but I'd already started rolling this snowball down the mountain. I couldn't stop it now.

'They were... pretty well entwined.' I felt like a traitor, but I couldn't lie, not to Pa.

'Dang!' said Hoss, and it seemed an understatement to me. 'That ain't good.'

'Whatever Adam saw,' Pa said, his mouth set in a hard straight line, 'we know that

Joe didn't hurt Josie. When he gets back, we'll be able to clear this up.'

There was no point in any of us going up to bed. We knew we wouldn't sleep. We made pretences of dozing in our chairs. Hoss poured a second brandy for each of us. I tried to read a book but the sentences remained incoherent on the page as my mind focused on the night outside, straining for the slightest sound that might indicate Joe's return.

Hoss's sharp ears caught it first. At half past midnight, I saw his head jolt up. 'That's him,' he said.

Pa made to rise from his chair, grimacing with the pain of his foot. I held up a hand to stall him. 'I'll go get him, Pa.'

Joe had just put Cochise into his stall. He jumped when he saw me behind him in the barn. 'Adam! I thought you'd have all gone to bed. It's late.'

'I know.'

He saw my face and rolled his eyes. 'You wouldn't believe how much Ol' Trapper had for me to do. And then, on the way back down, Cochise threw a shoe. I've just walked the last six miles.'

'You'd better come inside. Pa wants to see you.'

He pulled a face, but he looked resigned. 'I'll be in, in a few minutes, once I've seen to Cochise.' He had unbuckled his saddle by then. I reached over and lifted it from the horse's back.

'Leave Cochise. Pa wants to see you now.'

Anxiety flickered in his eyes. He gave me a little frown, but I guess something in my face or in the tone of my voice conveyed my seriousness, because he followed me across to the house without any more argument or protest.

'What's happened?' he asked as soon as he saw the expression on Pa's face.

'Sit down,' said Pa. Joe's frown deepened but he did as he was told. Pa took a deep breath. 'Joseph, Josie's dead.'

Joe stared at Pa in disbelief and gave a little laugh, like Pa was making a terrible joke. 'No,' he said. 'No, she's not.' When Pa didn't respond, Joe swallowed hard and I saw the colour drain slowly from his face. 'Wha... what do you mean, she's dead?'

'Sheriff Coffee came by earlier this evenin',' put in Hoss, staring hard at the rug on the floor. 'Told us they'd found her body. Down by the creek.'

Joe turned to me, as if I would tell him this wasn't true, but I couldn't say anything. My voice was stuck somewhere in my throat. He shook his head. I could see his chest rise and fall as his breathing grew harder. He tried to say something and failed. Rising from his chair he headed for the stairs.

I called after him. 'Joe, you were with her, weren't you? Earlier. I saw you down by the creek together.'

He spun round and gaped at me, his eyes oddly dark in his white face. 'You saw us?'

I nodded. I felt vaguely sick. I thought he would say something more. Offer some explanation, make some excuse. But he just stood there, like a ghost, silent and staring.

'Joe?' said Pa, eventually, when the silence had stretched so tight, I could almost hear it jangling.

Joe turned his hollow face to Pa's.

'Do you want to tell us what happened?'

Joe looked at him blankly.

'When you met Josie earlier today. What happened?'

Joe shook his head. He opened his mouth to answer, but again no words emerged, just a strange little choking noise in his throat. He took hold of the stair rail as if to steady himself. I saw then that he was trembling. He finally forced his voice out, hoarse and unsteady. 'What happened? How did she die?'

Hoss shook his head. 'We don't know for sure, Little Joe. She...' He faltered and looked at Pa.

I saw Pa's jaw tighten. 'The sheriff says she'd split her head open on a rock.'

The emptiness in Joe's eyes was replaced by a tremor of pain, as though he finally grasped the truth of what we had been trying to tell him. 'She fell?'

Pa shook his head. 'We don't know for sure. Seems somebody attacked her.'

For a fleeting moment, I thought Joe might actually faint. His hand gripped tighter on the stair rail, and he swayed unsteadily. Then he seemed to gather himself back together. 'When did this happen?'

'This afternoon.'

Joe shook his head. 'No. I was with her then. She was fine.'

'Did you leave her there, by the creek?' I asked him, and he swung pained eyes in my direction.

'No. She rode off home. I watched her go.'

'What time was that?'

'Must have been near enough four o'clock. She wanted to get back before her step pa got home and found she was missing. She was real worried because she was late. We... we fell asleep.' His voice crumbled on the last few words. He cleared his throat and dropped his head.

'And all the time you were together, she was all right, was she?' asked Pa.

Joe gave the smallest shrug of his shoulders. 'She was fine, to begin with. But then she got upset. And then she fell asleep.'

'Why was she upset?'

'I don't know. She wouldn't say.'

Pa frowned. 'Joseph, you... you didn't do anything to her, did you?'

Joe stared at Pa in horror. 'What? You think it was me killed her?'

'No, I don't think that. I just...'

'Then why are you asking me all these questions? I already told you she was fine when she rode off.'

'We're just trying to find out what happened,' I told him, keeping my voice deliberately calm.

He rounded on me. 'Well, you know what happened! You were the one spying on us?'

'I wasn't spying. I was just...'

He turned his back on me and had climbed three stairs by the time I managed to grab his arm. 'Don't just walk away, Joe. We have to know what happened.'

'Why? Don't you believe me when I tell you she was fine?' I knew he was struggling to keep back the tears; I could hear it in his voice. 'There's no way I'd ever hurt Josie.'

'Joe, the sheriff's going to ask you all this tomorrow.'

He wrenched his arm out of my grasp. 'Fine. Then I'll talk to the sheriff. Now leave me alone.'

7

For the remainder of that night, I tossed and turned, unable to sleep. Dawn was close when I finally dozed off, but my respite didn't last long. I was woken by a sound that didn't at first register in my weary brain. Then I realised it was a door opening and closing that had woken me. After all these years, the creaks of our floorboards are as familiar to me as the scars on my own body, and I was out of my bed in an instant. Whoever it was, was heading for the main stairs.

The first pale light of day was just nudging through the window. There were sounds from downstairs. I rushed to the top of the stairwell and peered down.

'Joe!' I yelled.

He didn't answer. I ran halfway down the stairs and saw him by the door, buckling his gun belt around his middle.

'Where are you going?'

Joe looked up at me. His face was pale and hard. 'Don't worry, Adam, I'll be back to talk to the sheriff.'

'Joe, wait!'

But Joe had gone, pulling the door behind him. Cursing, I ran back up the stairs and bumped into Hoss at the top. He looked like he'd been startled out of his sleep too, probably by my yelling, and even more startled to collide with his naked older brother on the landing.

'What's going on, Adam?'

'It's Joe. He's gone.'

'Where?'

'I don't know. He's got something on his mind.' I realised Pa had appeared in his doorway too, leaning heavily on his stick.

'Get after him, Adam,' he said urgently.

I nodded.

Hoss said, 'I'll go with you.'

I hauled on my clothes and was still fastening buttons as I reached the door. Hoss leapt down the stairs behind me, shirt tails flying, hair all awry.

Joe's horse was gone from the barn. Hastily we saddled our own. He hadn't had much of a start on us, but he'd ridden off at a lightening pace. We could see no sign of him ahead once we'd cleared the ranch buildings.

'Which way?'

Hoss was staring down at the ground below us. He pointed west. 'That way.'

It was still barely daylight. At least Joe's tracks were fresh which made it easier to follow him, but even so, we had to stop and check several times. I realised suddenly where we were heading.

'The Donohue's place,' I said aloud.

Hoss looked at me in dismay. 'Why would he be going there?'

I shook my head. 'I don't know. I hope I'm wrong. But I bet that's where we find him.'

From the Ponderosa, the approach to the Donohue's homestead brought us down through a belt of pine forest that marked the eastern edge of their property. Once clear of the trees, we could see the house about half a mile away across the intervening meadow. There was a small corral and a couple of barns with the house behind. As we kicked our horses to a gallop, I spotted Cochise tied to the rail of the corral, and my heart beat faster.

'Dang, Adam, look over there by the barn!'

We were riding fast but I could still see what Hoss had spotted. A burly man, hurling something at the barn wall. It might have been a sack of grain. But it wasn't. It was my brother.

There was no plan. Hoss and I fell back on instinct as we charged our horses into the yard and launched ourselves out of our saddles at the vast bulk of Zach McKenzie. I don't even remember clearly the sequence of events of the next few moments. I know I registered with horror the sight of my brother sprawled against the barn wall, and McKenzie's animal grunts as his boot thudded repeatedly into Joe's unresisting body. I know I caught a glimpse of Harriet McKenzie, white-faced and sobbing on the porch, her arms wrapped around her terrified son. I know I somehow had McKenzie's huge meaty arms in my grasp, hauling him back with all the strength I possessed, knowing instantly I was no match for his weight and strength, but determined that he would not touch my brother again.

McKenzie was bellowing in fury, like a mad bull, trying to shake me off. I knew I would not hold him for more than a few seconds. We staggered backwards, and he tried to swing me off. His weight was too much for me, but he was clumsy and somehow we both went sprawling in the dirt, McKenzie on top.

It was like being hit by a falling tree. For a second I was rendered completely helpless, every ounce of breath knocked from my body. The bull though was back on his feet and lunging again for Joe.

Hoss stepped in the way. I had a brief vision of two giants face to face, then Hoss's fist swung in one mighty punch, and McKenzie flew backwards and crashed heavily against the corral rails. There was a loud splintering as the spars gave, and McKenzie tumbled to the ground amidst the broken wood.

'Adam, get Joe!' Hoss yelled, heading after McKenzie.

I didn't wait to see whether the angry McKenzie would rise again or not. Still gasping for breath, I staggered the few yards to the barn and dropped down beside Joe.

He lay on his side in a crumpled, unmoving heap. His shirt was ripped. There was blood all over his face and blood in the dust beneath his head. I leant over him and saw the back of his head was a matted red mess. At that moment, I didn't even know if he was dead or alive.

Suddenly Harriet McKenzie was crouched by my side, clutching at my arm and weeping hysterically. 'Get out of here! Get out of here!' she sobbed over and over. I glimpsed Danny, standing behind her, deathly pale.

'You should go, Mr Cartwright,' he whispered, 'before my step pa gets back on his feet. He says Joe killed Josie.'

I put my hand over the back of Joe's head. The blood seeped instantly through my fingers. Harriet McKenzie stared in horror, her sobs frozen momentarily. Then she fumbled with the ties of her white apron, dragging it from her waist. Folding it clumsily, she pressed it to Joe's head.

Joe's shirt was already torn. Almost without thinking, I tugged at the ripped fabric and dragged a strip away, noticing even in my distraction that his right arm was bent strangely beneath his body. I wrapped the torn strip over the folded apron and tied it tightly around Joe's head.

'Let's get out of here, Adam.' Hoss was back by my side, breathless and perspiring. 'I don't reckon he'll stay down for long. Get your horse. I'll hand Joe on up to you. Quickly!'

I sprang for Sport. I still felt like I couldn't breathe, but it was nothing to do with being winded now. Hoss bundled a limp Joe across my saddle, and I hauled him up against my own body.

'Get him home, Adam. I'm gonna ride for the doctor.'

It was less than ten miles home, but it was one of the longest journeys of my life. Joe's deadweight slumped in my arms so that my muscles burned, but I would not stop or let go even for an instant. I was too scared that, if I did stop and look at him more closely, I would find that he had already died in my arms. He made no sound or movement the whole way back, and even when I rode into the yard, and Pa came hobbling out of the house, all the anxiety of his enforced wait written plain in his face, and I slid Joe down into his waiting arms, the boy did not flinch or murmur.

I carried Joe upstairs, with Pa limping behind. Unfastening the makeshift bandage from his head, I was relieved to find the bleeding had stopped. Beneath the knotted tangle of blood and dust in Joe's hair, I could feel a deep depression in his skull, and a gaping gash. Bruises were beginning to darken on his face, his eyes and lips puffed and swollen. But it was only when we got him undressed that we saw the full extent of the beating he'd taken. Several of the deepening bruises across his torso and legs bore the clear imprint of a boot sole. His right forearm was twisted at an unnatural angle, twice its normal size, livid blue and purple.

I fetched water and cloths and Pa and I cleaned him up as best we could while we waited for the doctor, but still Joe made no sound or movement. I left Pa watching over him and went back outside to see to my horse, waiting patiently in the yard.

It was only after I'd finished unsaddling and rubbing down Sport that I discovered I was trembling. I sank down in the straw and hugged my knees in an effort to still the tremors, but the uncontrollable shivering would not cease. It wasn't simply the horror of all that had already happened that was shaking me, but the dread of what had still to come. We were in a dark place now, but I had a terrible premonition that it was about to get darker still.

8

Doc Martin examined Joe carefully and his face was grim.

'Last time I saw someone this bad, he'd been trampled by a stampede,' he told us. 'Are you telling me one man did all this?'

'Big fella,' said Hoss.

'What do you think, Paul?' asked Pa.

The doctor looked grave. 'It's a waiting game, Ben. I'll stay on here for a while. The sooner he comes round, the happier I'll feel. That arm's going to need fixing. And I'm going to stitch up that gash in his head. But that's not going to help any damage that's happened inside.'

'I left a message for the sheriff, Pa,' said Hoss. 'Deputy said he'd already left for the McKenzie's jus' after sun up.'

'He said he'd call round later anyway,' said Pa, his eyes never moving from Joe's swollen face. 'You'll need a hand, Paul. Just tell me what to do.'

'We'll need to cut his hair away from round the wound,' said the doc. 'You start with that, while I get the other equipment I need.'

Hoss shook his head. 'Joe ain't gonna be pleased when he wakes up and finds you've given him a bald patch in the middle of his head, Pa.'

Pa tried to smile. 'No,' he said. 'He's going to be real mad.'

Hop Sing made us sandwiches, although I might as well have been eating sawdust, for all I noticed what they tasted like. Hoss and I were in the great room downstairs and Pa and the doc were still upstairs with Joe when the sheriff finally arrived.

Roy Coffee's face looked tired and lined as I invited him in and offered him some coffee and a sandwich. He accepted wearily.

''Fraid I've only got more bad news, Adam. Zach McKenzie's claimin' it was Little Joe killed Josie. Says his wife told him last night they'd been meeting in secret.'

I put down the sandwich I'd been eating, feeling suddenly sick. 'They were together yesterday afternoon. I saw them.'

The sheriff looked puzzled. 'Yes'erday afternoon? Why didn't you say when I came by last night?'

I shook my head. 'I don't know, Roy. I guess I should have. Only Joe didn't know then that I'd seen them together, and I thought he should be the one to tell you.'

'You know he didn' do nothin', Roy,' put in Hoss. 'Little Joe'd never hurt Josie.'

Roy put his coffee cup down on the table. 'Think I'd better speak to Little Joe myself, boys.'

'That's going to be difficult,' I told him. 'He's still unconscious after the beating he took from Zach McKenzie.'

'Unconscious?' Roy frowned. 'I just been over to the McKenzie place. Zach McKenzie said the boy had the gall to turn up on his doorstep. Said he'd given him a hiding he wouldn't forget in a hurry, but nobody said anythin' about unconscious.'

'You'd better come and see for yourself,' I told him.

Roy stepped back from Joe's bed and shook his head. 'That sure was some hidin' McKenzie gave him, Ben. But it don't change the facts. Little Joe's been accused of murderin' Josie; an' as sheriff, I can't ignore that. 'Specially now Adam tells me they were together yesterday afternoon, and down by the creek, a'most right where we found her body. It don't look good, Ben.'

'That doesn't mean he killed her.'

Roy acknowledged that with a brief nod. 'No, it don't. But I'm still going to have to take him into custody. Soon as the doc here says he's fit to travel.'

The doctor finished tying the splint to Joe's arm. He looked up at the sheriff and pulled a face. 'I wouldn't hold your breath, sheriff. That hammering he took to his skull –- well, right now, I don't even know if this boy will wake up again. And if he does, whether he's going to be capable of telling anyone anything, ever again.'

9

I've always joked that my youngest brother has the hardest head in this family, but I'd never prayed so fervently for that to be true.

I don't pray much. Sure, I join in with those recited lines and those mumbled 'amens' in church, like everybody does, but I rarely plead with my whole heart the way I did during those hours Joe lay so still and silent, after McKenzie beat him near to death.

If I hadn't known it was my brother lying there, I wouldn't have recognised him. With his head swathed in bandages and his face discoloured and swollen, he looked like a stranger. A very sick stranger.

The sheriff questioned me closely about everything I'd seen the previous afternoon. Like a traitor, I answered him and described the scene. I knew Roy Coffee to be a fair man, but even I couldn't help but hear the death knell in the evidence I was providing.

'I know it doesn't look good, Roy,' I said as I finished relating what I'd seen, 'but you know as well as I do that Joe wouldn't do a thing like this.'

The sheriff rubbed a hand over his moustache. 'I know how you mus' be feelin' Adam. An' I appreciate your honesty. An', like you say, I don't think Little Joe would do somethin' like this. At least, not deliberately.'

I frowned at his words. 'What do you mean, deliberately?'

'Well.' Roy nodded his head towards the stairs. Pa and the doctor were still with Joe. 'The doc says the head injury that killed Josie might have been an accident.'

'But you said she'd been attacked. You don't attack someone by accident.'

'Nope. No denying that part. The bruises speak for themselves. But if things had got a bit rough, say. Then she fell back, hit her head…'

I felt the bile rise in my throat. The sheriff rose from his chair and put a hand on my shoulder. 'Jus' sayin', Adam. Nobody knows the facts yet. When Little Joe wakes up he can tell us his side of the story. Meanwhile I'm gonna keep lookin'. Nothin' else I can do.'

Several hours later, towards evening, Joe finally came round. I think he probably wished he hadn't since there wasn't a scrap of his body that couldn't have been hurting. With his face so badly swollen, it was difficult to tell if his eyes were open or not. His lips, puffed and disfigured, could barely form intelligible words.

'Don't cry,' I thought I heard him mumble. Pa and I were sitting by his bed. We looked at each other puzzled.

'Get the doctor back,' said Pa, reaching out to touch Joe's good arm, so he would know we were there.

The doctor was downstairs, having a bite of supper before heading back to town. He hurried back upstairs with me.

'He said it again,' Pa told us. 'Don't cry.'

'Maybe he's talking to Josie,' I suggested, recalling what Joe had told us. 'He said she was upset.'

The doctor leant over Joe. My brother showed no sign of recognising anyone or anything.

'He's going to be groggy and confused. That's normal after a blow to the head like he's had. It might take a while for his thoughts to get straight again. The important thing is that he's awake. That's a good sign. Just keep a close eye on him, and I'll be back in the morning to see how he's doing.'

We took turns to sit with Joe all that evening and through the long night. Relief that he had regained consciousness was soon replaced by a growing anxiety over his incoherent mutterings and his lack of response to his surroundings. The doctor had warned us about possible damage to his brain as the result of the head injury, and whenever I thought about that, my stomach clenched in a tight knot of dread. I sat beside him and willed him to open his eyes and know me for who I was. Poor kid! He could barely open his eyes at all. It was painful even to look at his mangled face.

'God, Joe,' I murmured into the lamplight, as dawn crept stealthily closer. 'What have you got yourself into this time?' I rubbed my palms over my weary face.

'Adam?'

I dropped my hands and stared. His face was turned towards me. All that was visible between his bloated eyelids were two slits of green, but they were definitely focused on me.

'Joe! Can you see me? Do you know where you are?'

His voice was thick, as if his mouth had been stuffed with cotton, but I still smiled to hear it.

'Bed,' he said. Then he groaned and closed his eyes. 'Hurts!' he muttered.

'I know,' I told him, giving his good shoulder a gentle squeeze. 'I know it does, Joe. But I'm sure glad you can tell me that!'

10

Hoss stuck his head around Joe's bedroom door. 'Someone to see ya, Adam.'

It was late morning. I was on duty again. It would be some time before we could leave Joe unattended, so I was slumped in the armchair with a book in my hand. The doctor had called in earlier and changed Joe's dressings. He seemed pleased with his progress. 'But it's going to take time,' he reminded us. 'Don't expect too much too soon.'

I looked up at Hoss, lifting my eyebrows. 'Who is it?'

Hoss couldn't suppress a mischievous grin. ''S Beth.'

'Beth?' I looked at Joe. It was difficult at a glance to tell if he was awake or asleep, but he hadn't moved so I assumed he was sleeping. 'Do you want to stay here with Joe? I'll go down and see her.'

Hoss gave a little backwards jerk of his head and scrunched his face. 'She's right behind me. Wants to see how Little Joe is.'

I sprang out of the chair faster than I'd intended, running my hands over my hair, the blood rising in my face.

'Can she come in?'

'Er… yeah. Yes. Er…' Flustered, I adjusted Joe's sheets around him, straightening up as Beth entered the room. She wore a dress of primrose yellow, and there was a pink flush on her porcelain cheeks.

'Hello, Adam,' she began. 'I… oh!'

She caught sight of Joe and the rose faded from her face. She drew in a sharp breath. I reached out for her arm and she let me take it, her stare still transfixed by my brother.

Making a concerted effort to pull herself together, she dragged her eyes from Joe's face to mine. 'I just wanted to tell Little Joe I hoped he would soon feel better.'

'He's asleep. But when he wakes up I'll tell him.'

'Is that what Mister McKenzie did to him?'

I nodded.

Beth was silent for a moment, while she looked once more at Joe. I read horror and disbelief in her face. 'I didn't realise. Pa said there had been a fight at the McKenzie's.'

'Not sure how much of a fight it was,' I told her. 'More of a beating.'

'Pa didn't say that.' She hesitated and looked back at me. Her eyes were cloudy. I still held her arm, but she kept her distance. 'Is something wrong?' I asked her.

She pursed her lips and dropped her eyes. 'I… er… I had to come out and see you Adam. Pa didn't want me to but I had to come. I couldn't not say anything.'

I felt like a wintry draught had blown over my skin, turning it cold.

Beth took a deep breath. 'I can't see you any more, Adam. I'm sorry.'

Just like that. I can't see you any more. I'm sorry. Maybe my mind was already numb from too much reeling, but for a moment I could think of nothing to say. And when I did manage to speak, my voice sounded weak and pathetic. 'Why?'

She had the grace to look awkward. 'Well, you know my father is Mr McKenzie's lawyer.'

I must have looked blank because she pulled a face that said I should have understood.

'With this case going to trial, we can hardly carry on seeing each other, can we?'

Going to trial? My brain seemed to have ground to a slow crawl. I heard what she said, but the words made no sense to me. She looked almost impatient. 'What did you expect Adam?'

'I…. ' I shook my head as if that would start the cogs of my brain working again. 'But Joe didn't do anything, Beth!'

'That's not what everybody's saying.'

Everybody? I stared at her in growing dismay. We had been so caught up with our own immediate troubles on the Ponderosa, I hadn't spared a thought for what was going on in the town.

'What are they saying?'

'What do you think? Seems like Joe already has something of a reputation in the town as far as girls are concerned.'

I remembered myself quickly and took her by the arm again, wheeling her firmly onto the landing. 'Sssh,' I said. 'Keep your voice down. Joe doesn't need to hear this right now.'

'Well, he's going to hear it sooner or later. Mister McKenzie's accused your brother of murdering Josie, and my father will be helping to bring the case against him.'

'My brother does not attack women!'

I watched the blood rush swiftly to Beth's cheeks. She dropped her eyes so she wouldn't have to meet mine.

'It doesn't matter what any of us thinks. With things the way they are, we can't see each other any more. That's why I came out here today, to tell you that. And to say sorry.' She hesitated. 'Goodbye, Adam.'

She turned away; then half turned back and threw a glance at the bedroom door behind me. 'And I really do hope little Joe gets better soon.'

Bitter gall was rising in my throat. 'Why? So you can watch him swing from a gallows?'

Her eyes met mine for an instant, then she looked away embarrassed. 'Goodbye Adam,' she repeated in a flat voice.

I watched her walk down the stairs before I turned back into Joe's room and crossed to the window. I saw her climb into her rig and take up the reins. I watched as she headed away along the road, the yellow of her dress visible long after the rest of her had vanished into the distance. Behind me Joe stirred and muttered. I sat down on the edge of his bed and picked up a cup from the bedside table. With a spoon I carefully trickled water between lips too swollen to drink.

'I'm sorry, brother,' I murmured as he swallowed painfully. 'If I'd just kept my big mouth shut, they'd be looking for the real culprit now.'

I could see he was looking at me but there was no way of knowing whether he'd understood. I spooned more water into his mouth. 'McKenzie's accusing you of murdering Josie. There's going to be a trial. You need to get better, Joe, so you can tell them what really happened.'

Joe blinked. Although his face was incapable of expressing anything, I thought I saw something flicker in his eyes. Puzzlement maybe. 'Huh?' he grunted. And it was impossible to know what it was that he didn't understand.

Later that day, Hoss and I rode out with the sheriff to the spot by the creek where I had seen Joe with Josie on Thursday afternoon.

'Right there,' I told Roy, pointing. Just in front of that flat rock, that's where they were lying. The horses were just down here, by the water.'

Roy looked where I was pointing, then he walked six paces downstream to another boulder. 'An' this is where we found Josie's body. There were traces of blood and hair on this rock. You sure you ain't mistaken, Adam?'

'I'm sure.' I walked to the place where I knew they had been. The image of the two of them, wrapped together, had implanted itself deeply into my brain. 'Look, the grass is still flattened.'

'Well, it ain't far.' Roy measured the short distance with his eyes. 'They coulda moved across there without much thinking.'

I stared at him in disbelief. 'Roy, you sound like you think he's guilty.'

Roy shook his head. 'Sorry, Adam. I'm jus' thinking like a jury is gonna think, that's all. We've been over and over the tracks leading in and outa here. There's your brother's, and Josie's, and Zach McKenzie's, but there ain't no others. See for yourself.'

Hoss had crouched down, ruffling through the flattened grass with his fingers. He scraped at something in the dirt. 'Adam, Roy, look at this.' He lifted his hand. Between his fingers dangled a small gold locket swinging on a broken chain. He got to his feet and handed it to Roy.

The sheriff wiped the dirt from the chased gold, and opened the thin casing. There were two miniature portraits tucked neatly into the locket. One was unmistakably Harriet McKenzie, the other her first husband, the late Walter Donohue. Roy pursed his lips. 'Mus' be Josie's.'

We were all silent for a minute as we stared at the sombre memento of a dead girl. At least, it showed that the place I had seen Joe and Josie was not the spot where she had met her death, close as it was. I looked from one rock to the other with a heavy heart. It was close, though. Much too close for comfort.

11

Joe's recovery was a two-edged sword. After a few days the swelling on his face subsided, and his bruises began to heal and turn all colours of the rainbow. But as he began to look better, so the dark shadow of jail and a trial loomed ever nearer and ever darker.

We were still worried too. Although his body showed signs of healing, Joe's mind was confused. Doc Martin said that was only to be expected, but his reassurances didn't lessen our concerns.

The sheriff came back to ask Joe questions. 'You're looking better, son,' he said, as he sat down on the end of Joe's bed. 'You up to a few questions?'

Joe drew down his brow in a small frown. 'Questions?'

Pa had already warned Roy downstairs that Joe was functioning erratically. The sheriff nodded. 'I need to ask you about what happened down by the creek on Thursday afternoon.'

'Thursday afternoon?' Joe's frown deepened.

'You met Josie, d'you remember?'

'Josie.' Joe thought for a few moments then gave a small nod. 'Yeah, Jo and I went for a ride. Was that Thursday?'

'Yeah, that was Thursday. Can you remember exactly what you did?'

Joe stared at him with a blank expression. Roy tried prompting him. 'You went for a ride. What did you do then?'

Joe didn't answer. The sheriff leaned forward. 'Listen, Little Joe. Josie's dead. We need to find out who killed her. You have to tell me what happened.'

Joe swallowed hard and his eyes misted over. Pa put his hand on the sheriff's arm. 'He's not ready for this Roy. Give him a day or two. It's there in his head. He just hasn't pieced it all back together yet.'

'We need to get to the truth as soon as possible, Ben.' Roy looked back at Joe. 'Sorry, son, I know this is difficult but you gotta try and think.'

I looked at Joe and saw a tear slide down his cheek. He closed his eyes. 'I only wanted to help,' he murmured.

Roy's cocked his head. 'Help with what, Little Joe?'

'She was crying.'

'Why was she crying?' asked the sheriff when it became plain Joe was not about to volunteer any more.

Joe shook his head. 'I don't know.'

Roy reached in the pocket of his vest and drew out the locket on its thin gold chain. 'Do you recognise this, Little Joe?'

Joe stared and gave a small nod. Another silent tear rolled from his eye. 'It's Josie's,' he said, his voice cracking. 'She showed it to me. It has a picture of her pa inside.'

'She was wearin' it on Thursday?'

'I... I think so. I don't really remember.'

We left Pa with Joe and went downstairs with the sheriff. He looked solemn.

'It's not good, boys,' he told us. 'If Little Joe can't tell us more 'bout what happened, we'll have to go on what you saw, Adam, and what the McKenzies have to say. It's beginning to look like the best we can hope for is a terrible accident.'

Hoss shook his head with certainty. 'No, sheriff, if that's what'd happened, Little Joe would've told us.'

'You sure of that Hoss? He didn't tell you he'd been seein' her in secret, did he? I'm fond of your brother, boys, but I can't pretend he ain't got a big appetite for women. It's common knowledge.'

I saw Hoss bristle. 'Yeah, but he ain't never hurt none.'

Roy held up a hand as if we might have been about to hit him. 'An' maybe he never meant to hurt Josie.'

12

Sometimes I wonder if the law has anything to do with truth and justice.

Pa, Hoss and I sit in this hotel room and stare silently at the carpet, the walls, the beds, the windows, and we see none of it. We no longer know what to say to each other. All the hours we've sat in that hot, muggy courtroom these past few days are like a nightmare from which we will never escape. And tomorrow, Joe will hang for the murder of Josephine McKenzie.

When the sheriff took him away from the Ponderosa, we knew he still wasn't right, even though little visible evidence of his injuries remained. True, his arm was still in a sling, but his hair was already growing back over the jagged scar on his head and his clothes hid the fading ravages to the rest of his body. Doc Martin promised Pa he would visit Joe every day in the jail and make sure he was well enough to attend the trial.

The judge said that if Joe was fit enough to walk to the courtroom and sit in a chair, he was fit enough to stand trial.

I've watched my brother at the mercy of the judge and the lawyers for the last three days. I've watched him battle pain, fatigue, and the constant confusion of his aching head. I've watched the whole town judge him and pass verdict before they've even heard all the facts. I've watched the doubt and embarrassment in the faces of friends, and I've watched Beth cross the street to avoid me, averting her eyes so she won't have to meet mine. Worse, I've had to stand up in front of the court and relate what I saw that day by the creek.

I wish I had never opened my mouth.

Always tell the truth, Pa taught us. It's better to be punished for the truth than to hide behind a lie.

But Joe can't remember. And every time he hesitates or slurs, or shakes his head at a question, I can sense the antagonism in the courtroom.

The prosecution brought in character witnesses to testify to what was described as 'the dissolute side' of Joe's nature. Mainly, of course, they focused on Julia.

'You can see they think he's lyin',' said Hoss after the first round of questioning. ''Tain't fair, Pa. How can he defend himself when he can't remember?'

Pa's very quiet right now. He's walking without the stick at last, but his shoulders are stooped, like the stick's still there. It scares me to see him looking so old.

'Joe,' said the prosecutor, 'what happened after you and Josie rode to the creek and you got down from your horses?'

Joe was frowning. He'd had to work hard to keep his mind focused on the events of that day, but with the help of the sheriff's collective statements, we had ascertained that he and Josie had met twice before, in secret, although Josie had confided her whereabouts to her mother. Harriet McKenzie, appearing in the courtroom only long enough to give her evidence, had confirmed that. They'd ridden out together like they'd done as children, while Zach McKenzie was at a prayer meeting in town.

'I kissed her,' said Joe, finally.

'Had you kissed her before, on the other two occasions?'

'No. That was the first time.'

'How did she respond?'

Joe looked puzzled. 'What d'you mean?'

'Did she want you to kiss her? Did she back away? Was she offended?'

Joe frowned and shook his head slowly. 'No. She... she kissed me back.'

'Carry on. What happened then?'

'We sat down on the ground together.' Joe squeezed his eyes shut as he struggled to piece the events into order. 'We kissed some more.'

The attorney nodded. 'And then?'

The room was stifling. Even the flies buzzing against the windows seemed sluggish. My chest was tightening as though the air was heavy enough to crush it.

Joe didn't answer. He dropped his head into his hands and pressed his palms against his temples. His skin looked pale and clammy. The judge nodded at the doctor who stepped forward and leaned down to speak quietly into Joe's ear. I saw Joe shake his head. The doctor looked up at the judge and gave a quick nod of his head, then slipped back to his seat.

'What did you want to know?' asked Joe, looking up again, his eyes dull and confused.

'You were kissing Josie, sitting on the ground. What happened next?'

Joe was still silent. His gaze had dropped to the floor and he seemed mesmerised by the wooden boards.

'Joe,' said the judge, and my brother's head snapped up. 'Answer the question, please.'

Joe stared at him as if he'd forgotten the question again. It was the judge's turn to frown. Frank Winsley rose in his seat. 'He's stalling, your honour.'

The judge held up his hand and Winsley sat back down.

'Joe,' said the prosecutor, fixing Joe with a direct gaze, 'did you do more than just kiss Josie McKenzie?'

I tried to take a deep breath to calm my racing heart and quell the sickness rising ever higher in my throat, but it was as though the air in the room was no longer breathable. Lie, Joe, I willed him. Don't tell them the truth. Tell them you and Josie paddled in the creek. Tell them you got up and went home. Tell them you recited poetry together. Tell them anything, but don't tell them the truth!

Joe was staring at the attorney, but his eyes looked glazed, as if he really saw nothing. 'I... I don't know. I... I don't remember.' He paused and ran his hand over his face. 'She was crying. I remember she was crying.'

He was fumbling, struggling to keep the pictures in his mind. Sweat trickled down between my shoulder blades as I watched him. Tension had built to such a pitch in me that I'd begun to tremble. Hoss, beside me, gave my forearm a gentle squeeze. I glanced at him and saw his face was as beaded in perspiration as my own.

'Why was she crying?'

'I don't know.'

'What did you do?'

'I... I didn't know what to do. She just kept crying. So I put my arms around her.' Joe screwed his face as though he was in pain and pressed his hands again to his head. Every eye in the room was fixed upon him, but he didn't seem to be aware of that. He was struggling with something inside. 'She...she wouldn't say anything. She was just sobbing, like her heart was fit to break.'

'And you were just holding her?'

Joe nodded. 'Yes.'

'And what happened then?'

Joe thought hard. 'She... she fell asleep.'

The prosecutor looked like he was waiting for Joe to continue, but Joe had fallen silent again. 'What did you do then?'

Joe looked puzzled. 'I fell asleep too.'

'Nothing else happened?'

'Like what?' The confusion on Joe's face was genuine. The man gave him a hard look.

'Josie McKenzie was murdered Joe. We've already heard from your brother how intimate you already were with Miss McKenzie. Did you take advantage of the situation while she was asleep?'

Joe's face was very white. I wished he wouldn't look so scared and uncertain. 'N... No,' he stammered. 'I didn't.'

'So nothing else happened between you? When you woke up, Josie was anxious to get home because she was late, and you watched her ride away. And that was the last you saw of her?'

Joe's eyes were blank again. Exhaustion had drained the colour from his face. Even his lips looked pale.

'The statements from your family say that that was what you told them when you got home that Thursday night. So how is it, Joe, that Josie's body was discovered lying less than twenty feet from the spot where your own brother saw the two of you lying together?'

Joe dropped his head between his hands and his fingers clenched at his hair. 'I... I don't know. I can't remember.'

'Aw, come on Roy!' Hoss paced the sheriff's office that evening, while Pa went into the cells to see Joe. 'Would he do somethin' like that to Josie an' then mosey on up to Ol' Trapper's an' dig out his outhouse like nothin' had happened?'

Roy shook his head. 'I'm not likin' this any more than you, Hoss. But unless Joe comes up with somethin' more, it don't look good. We've only got his word that she was fine when he left her.'

'What if she was fine then?' I said. 'What if she rode away fine but then she came back again, after Joe had left?'

'Why'd she come back? You said Joe told you she was already frettin' that she was late. That Zach would have her hide for bein' out when she wa'n't supposed to be.'

'The locket,' I said. 'What if she realised she'd lost it and she came back to try and find it again?'

'You think she'd go back even though she was already scared she was gonna get a thrashin'?'

'For a picture of her pa?' said Hoss. 'I'd go back if it was my ma in that necklace.'

Roy pursed his mouth. 'Well, maybe. But Joe's not denyin' anythin', Hoss. That don't help his case none.'

'He's not denyin' it 'cos he can't remember,' pointed out Hoss. 'An' he can't remember 'cos Zach McKenzie beat him to a pulp!'

13

Pa gets to his feet. There's still a slight limp in his step as he crosses to the door and takes his coat off the hook.

'I'm going across to the jail,' he tells us. 'Roy said to come back after supper.' Pa looks grey and stooped. I want to go to him and put my arm around his shoulder, but somehow I can't. Hoss gets up too.

'Yeah. I'll come too. Adam?'

I heave myself out of my chair. I know I have to go, but I wonder how I'll meet Joe's eyes. I'm the brother who betrayed him. If I hadn't spoken up, none of this might ever have happened.

When we reach the jail, the doctor is there again. Roy has called him back. Joe lies on the bunk like a pale, thin ghost.

Pa sinks down beside him. I almost wince to hear Joe trying to sound bright as he tells Pa, 'I'm all right, Pa. It's just a headache. Don't worry.'

Pa squeezes his hand.

Joe says, 'I didn't kill Jo, Pa. I know I didn't. I'm sorry I can't remember.'

Pa nods his head and speaks with difficulty. 'I know you didn't, Joe.'

Joe looks past Pa and finds my face. There's a tight pain in my chest.

'I didn't hurt her Adam. I was with her that day but I never hurt her.'

I cannot bear to look at my younger brother and know that my evidence has done this to him. I elbow my way past Roy and out onto the dark street. I can hear the sounds of laughter and music from the saloon. It feels unreal to me. I hunch against the wooden planks of the sheriff's office and the tears burn my eyelids as I try and force them back.

'Adam?' Hoss's voice is soft in the darkness. I can't speak to him right now, but he seems to know that. He puts his hand on my shoulder. His presence gives me the strength I need to control my grief.

'I can't do this, Hoss,' I whisper once I'm sure I can trust my voice.

'Yes you can,' says my brother. 'You have to, for Little Joe's sake. And Pa.' He takes my arm and leads me back to the door. 'Come on, Adam. There's nothin' else left now.'

None of us sleeps that night; I'm sure of that. I can think of nothing but Joe, lying in the jail, knowing he will hang at noon tomorrow, in front of the whole town. When the light starts to brighten the rectangles of the hotel windows, I get out of my bed and stand looking down on the deserted street below. Thankfully, from here I can't see the platform they've built in the street outside the jail.

Gradually the city wakes up and people begin to move about, just as though it were an ordinary day. I watch a buggy drive down the street below me and my heart jumps when I see Danny McKenzie driving it, and his mother on the seat beside him. I haven't seen her since she gave her brief evidence in court. I've wondered vaguely about her absence and put it down to her not being able to face it. But it looks like she's ready to watch my brother swing from a rope. Why else would she be riding into town today? Not too squeamish for that then.

Plenty of people will be hurrying to Virginia City today. Everyone loves a good hanging. And a Cartwright? There are enough people in this town who resent Pa's success, the wealth he's worked so hard to earn and keep. Plenty of people who will extract huge satisfaction from seeing a Cartwright swing.

We drink coffee in our room. We can't contemplate food. I try to think ahead to what will happen after Joe's hanged. Will we ever feel hungry again? Will we ever enjoy a meal? Will we laugh again? Enjoy the sunshine on our backs? I cannot imagine that we will ever return to our old lives after what has happened to Joe.

We talk only in short, strained sentences. There is nothing to say. I know we must go back to the jail. See Joe again. See him for the last time before he climbs the steps to the scaffold. I haven't had the courage yet to question Pa on whether we will be there, to watch it happen. To see Joe die. I know somehow that has to be Pa's decision. I don't want to go back to the jail. I love my brother, but I don't want to go back to the jail. I don't want to go back to the jail because I love my brother, and I don't want to see the fear in his eyes. And I don't want him to see the guilt in mine.

The coffee tastes bitter on my tongue. There's a knock on the door. It's the sheriff. He takes off his hat and looks around at us all with an odd expression on his face. For a fleeting instant, I think he's come to tell us that Joe's already dead, and I confuse myself with the sense of relief that wells up unexpectedly inside me. What is happening to me? But Roy shakes his head and rubs his chin.

'Judge is reconvenin' the court. Hanging's postponed 'til tomorrow. Don't ask me why, Ben. Somethin's come up, that's all.'

I see the hope dawn in Pa's face and I want to howl. Is this a reprieve or more torment?

14

It's just as hot and stuffy in this room as it was yesterday. There's been a mixed response to this unprecedented turn of events. Lots of curiosity, but just as much disgruntled muttering. Nobody seems to know why we're here.

The doctor sits next to Joe today. Paul has hold of Joe's arm. I wonder if he's propping him up. Joe has a glass of water in front of him.

The judge enters. We all rise then we all sit again, and everyone waits to hear what the judge will say. He clears his throat and looks around the courtroom. 'This court has been reconvened to hear new evidence in this case. If this additional evidence warrants it, I have the power to overturn the sentence passed yesterday.'

There is a brief disturbance at the back of the room and the sheriff and a deputy appear. Harriet McKenzie and her son are with them. They walk together to the front of the court. Danny holds his mother's arm. Harriet McKenzie is trembling visibly and her face is as white as Joe's. Harriet sits down in a chair and it is the boy who follows the sheriff to the judge's stand.

He's just a boy with untidy dark hair. He's reached that age when his arms and legs have outgrown the rest of his body and his voice can't decide whether to pitch itself as a man or a child. He looks skinny and scared, but he also looks determined. I have a brief recollection of him, white-faced and terrified the morning Zach McKenzie beat up my brother.

'I know I should have come forward before,' he says, in a wavering voice. 'Me and my Ma. The reason we didn't is that we didn't think Joe Cartwright would be found guilty, see. My step pa wouldn't let us come to the trial so we didn't know.' He stops to take a breath and summon courage to go on.

'It's not right to hang a man who's not guilty, and Joe didn't kill Josie. Ma and I knew she was meetin' him, but my step pa would have beaten her if he'd've found out so we didn't tell him. We didn't tell him 'til we heard Josie was dead, then he hit my ma 'til she told him where Josie had been.

'My sister kept a journal. It was supposed to be a secret. She didn't think anyone knew, but I did. I saw her writing in it, and... and after she died...' Danny's voice wavers, but he sticks out his chin and pushes on. '...After she died, I went and found it. I brought it to the judge so he can see for himself.' His voice founders in an audible gulp. Tears spring in his eyes and his shoulders shake. The judge leans forward and speaks to him gently.

'Sit down, boy. You spoke well.'

As Danny, in tears, takes a seat next to his mother, the judge holds up a small fabric bound book.

'This is the journal Danny brought to me, written in Josie's own hand.' He places the book back down on his desk, but he keeps his hand pressed to it. 'I am not going to read the contents of this journal publicly, but I have read it, and it contains disturbing accounts of Josie's life with her stepfather.'

Mrs. McKenzie is now weeping too, as she holds her son close to her. I realise at that moment that Zach McKenzie is missing from the courtroom, for the first time since the start of the trial.

The judge is looking very sober. 'If it were possible for a victim to return from the grave to give evidence with her own voice, then that is precisely what Josie McKenzie has done today. If indeed Josie did ride away unharmed from her meeting with Joe Cartwright, then logic dictates she must have returned to the creek, for whatever reason, and was there attacked by the only other person to have been present in that place on that evening: her stepfather. Zach McKenzie has already been detained as a precaution, in the interests of protecting the witnesses here in this court.'

Pa sags beside me, whether from relief or exhaustion, I'm not sure. My own head is spinning. I place my hand on his arm. He lifts his head to me and there are tears in his eyes. He reaches out and puts his arm around my shoulder and pulls me towards him. 'Thank God, Adam!' he mutters as he hugs me, and his deep voice breaks as he says it. 'Thank God!'

Hoss, on the other side of me, has gripped my arm, just above the elbow. I don't think he realises it, but he is squeezing so hard, I will have a bruise for sure. But I don't care. Right now I wouldn't care if he broke my arm, my relief is so intense, so overwhelming.

The courtroom is emptying. It seems to have happened magically. I don't remember the judge leaving. Pa pulls back from me and looks round at Hoss and he actually laughs. The sound takes me completely by surprise. I can't remember when I last heard any of us laugh. I look across at Joe. He is still in his chair. Roy Coffee is talking to him. Or talking at him. Joe's eyes are hollow. His face looks... empty. I rise at the same moment as Pa and Hoss. Joe lifts his blank face to us as we approach. Pa grabs him by both shoulders and almost lifts him into the air as he embraces him. Joe's blank expression is replaced by a confused one.

Roy says, 'You can take Little Joe home, Ben. The evidence against Zach McKenzie is overwhelming. Good enough for me, anyways.'

Hoss's face splits into a grin. 'I'll go an' get the rig an' bring it round,' he tells Pa, wasting no more time.

I realise the courtroom hasn't emptied completely. Harriet and Danny McKenzie are still here. They have their arms around each other and I am not certain who is supporting whom. Harriet detaches herself from her son and crosses to join us.

'Little Joe,' she says. He turns to face her. She is trying to hold herself together, we can all see that. 'Little Joe, I'm so sorry! I can never forgive myself for what I've done to Josie, or to you.' Her voice trembles. 'You know, it was the first time Josie smiled -– really smiled -– in a long time, the day she met up with you again. You made her happy again, Little Joe. That's why I let her go, even though I was scared he'd find out.'

Joe shakes his head very slowly. 'I should have stayed with her. I should have ridden back with her. I... I knew there was something wrong.'

'No. None of it's your fault, Little Joe. It's mine. I should have known. I should have...' Harriet's face crumbles and she breaks down. Danny wraps his arm around her.

Pa puts out a hand and takes her by her shoulder. 'Harriet, I'm so sorry about Josie. About everything. But you have to take strength in the fact that Josie was a wonderful girl. Beautiful, strong-minded, tough. And you have a son to be proud of too.' He looks at Danny. 'It took courage to do what you did today, Danny. Josie would have been proud of you. And you saved Joe's life.' He holds out his hand and the boy grasps it. 'Whatever you decide to do next,' Pa says, 'I'll help in any way I can.'

We move on out into the morning sunshine. There are still crowds of people milling about outside the courthouse. I see a figure standing alone on the other side of the street and my heart does a small flip. Beth Winsley. She is looking across at me, a nervous smile on her face. I catch her eye and she starts to cross the street towards me. By my side, Joe staggers drunkenly and I catch hold of him in time to stop him stumbling. 'Steady,' I say.

He looks exhausted. I wrap my arm around him to prop him up. Beth is drawing closer. She's wearing a blue and lilac print dress. Her blonde hair shines like the sunlight. She is as beautiful as ever.

'Come on, little brother,' I say to Joe as I turn my back on her and lead him away in the direction of the livery stable. I don't need to look back to know her eyes are following me. I don't want to look back. Instead I look at Joe. And I smile. 'Let's go home.'