Author's Note: Am I the only one who wanted to shoot myself in the head while watching the romance scenes in the prequel trilogy? This fanfic stemmed from my frustrations. I mean, come on. Really? This scene was one of the worst of them all. Vomit. That's all I have to say. Every fucking line they say to each other is something corny.
Anyway, I own nothing. Try to sue me. You won't get anything. Hope you all enjoy ^_^
Do I Really Have to Say That?
By: Angel Wings-008
Deep, heart-felt sigh. "You're so…beautiful."
Smiles. "Only because I'm so in love."
Chuckles quietly. "No…no, it's because I'm so in love with you."
Playful look of surprise. "So love has blinded you?"
One second passed, then another and another; before either of them knew it, the opportunity had passed yet again. Abruptly, Anakin groaned, thrusting his hands before his body in surrender.
"Stop. Please, not again. I don't think I can take hearing this bullshit again."
His female companion scowled, nearly stamping her foot with frustration. "Damn it, Anakin! The more you interrupt, the more we'll have to repeat this scene."
"I know, but…" For a moment he trailed off and covered his mouth with his hand, almost as if he were attempting to stifle sobs. It lasted but a second before he raised pain-filled eyes to meet hers, gritting his teeth in an effort to keep the agony at bay.
"It's just so bad, Padme'! Nearly all the dialog we exchange sounds like something from the back of a dime store romance novel. How am I supposed to say this in a way that would make our relationship believable? It's all I can do not to throw up in the middle of a line."
"I understand, Ani. Really, I do, but we don't have much of a choice. The writers decide how the story plays out, and we go through the motions. There isn't exactly a 'back out' option. We're entirely fictional, as much as a lot of our fans would like to believe otherwise. It's not our fault that the creator of this franchise is so dreadful at writing romance. Our very existence depends on these scenes happening, no matter how bad they are."
"Yeah I know, but can't a guy cut me a few breaks? I already have to destroy everything I've ever loved or ever will. Isn't that punishment enough? You have to give me cheesy pick-up lines and relationships straight from some trashy soap opera, too? I'd rather be banging Obi-Wan or Mace Windu. Shit, I'll do them both at the same time if it means I don't have to say one more minute of this awful drivel you call script writing. They're like, my mentors too, so that's pretty creepy if you think about it."
"Eh, depends on who you ask. A lot of people would actually find it quite appealing. A Jedi threesome? The fangirls would go wild. Trust me; I've seen the evidence first hand."
Anakin looked stricken. "Is there no end to the depravity and decay of society as we know it?"
Padme' patted his arm, attempting to provide some sort of comfort, he supposed. Too bad her next words counteracted whatever effect it might have. "Of course not, silly. The series is titled Star 'Wars' for a reason."
Naturally, his response to this could only be described as 'facepalm.' "Argh. Is it too late to sell myself back into slavery?"