Elena Gilbert stood in front of her bedroom mirror wearing nothing but a set of lacy black lingerie and black high heels. She looked over at the clock on her nightstand and groaned. The clock read 7:45pm. She was already fifteen minutes late to Mystic Falls' first annual Charity Cocktail Gala at the Lockwood Mansion. As a descendant of Johnathan Gilbert, one of Mystic Falls' founding family members in 1864, she was expected to make an appearance at the event. Her younger brother Jeremy was already there, having left the house early to pick up Bonnie Bennett, his girlfriend and one of Elena's best friends. Her other best friend, Caroline Forbes, was also at the party. Elena had already received five text messages from Caroline that demanded to know where she was and why she hadn't arrived. Elena texted Caroline back and assured her friend that she would be there soon, blaming her late arrival on a "wardrobe malfunction."

Her excuse was mostly – okay, partially – honest. Elena really had no idea what to wear to this gala. A dozen or so cocktail dresses of varying amounts of silk and lace hung in her closet, but none of them felt appropriate to wear to a charity cocktail event. Her strapless ivory lace dress looked too waifish. Her silver sequined tank dress made her feel like a go-go dancer. Her favorite little black dress suddenly seemed snug in all of the wrong places. Bonnie and Caroline always assured Elena that she didn't have any wrong places where a dress could fit too tightly, but Elena wasn't willing to risk having a real wardrobe malfunction should her dress choose to split open in front of all of Mystic Falls.

Truthfully, all Elena wanted to do was take off her high heels, put on her tank top and sleep shorts, crawl back into bed and finish reading The Perks of Being a Wallflower, the latest book on her personal reading list. She normally loved Mystic Falls' events. She enjoyed it when everyone in the town gathered together, whether it was to celebrate their history on Founders Day or to auction off (un)willing bachelors to overpaying women. The citizens of Mystic Falls had a lot of pride in their town, and Elena liked being a part of its community. She thought it was nice to always be a part of something with so many people, but for the past three months the only person Elena could tolerate being around was Jeremy. He knew how to toe the fine line between pushing her to talk and leaving her alone, something the rest of her friends didn't seem to understand.

Elena closed her eyes and took a deep breath as memories of the horrific events from three months ago filled her mind. Three months ago the Original vampire Klaus turned her Aunt Jenna into a vampire, only for her to be killed in a vampire sacrifice ritual. Her Uncle John, actually her birth father John, bound his life force to her so that she wouldn't die in the same sacrifice ritual, losing his own life in the process. Her vampire boyfriend Stefan Salvatore agreed to be Klaus' murderous wingman for the next decade in exchange for the cure to the fatal werewolf bite that his older (vampire) brother Damon received. While on his deathbed, Damon told her that he loved her, and she kissed him just as her vampire doppelganger Katherine arrived with the cure for Damon's bite-infected arm. Everything in Elena's life changed three months ago, and for the first time in her life, she had no idea how to process how she felt about everything that happened.

At the thought of the kiss she shared with Damon, Elena reached up and gently touched a finger to her lips. She'd experienced every kind of kiss before: gentle kisses, sloppy kisses, and the occasional kiss that made her spine tingle with passion and desire. This kiss with Damon, however, didn't fit into any of those categories. It was a kiss completely different from anything she'd ever shared with anyone, and the fact that it was with Damon unnerved Elena. She shouldn't have kissed her boyfriend's brother, even if she considered that brother one of her closest friends. She shouldn't – couldn't – feel anything stronger than friendship for Damon. She loved Stefan. She wanted to be with Stefan. Most importantly she refused to be like Katherine, who dated the Salvatore brothers at the same time, manipulating their emotions by pitting them against each other for her love. No, Elena wouldn't do that to Stefan and Damon. Besides, she didn't feel anything stronger than friendship for Damon to act on. No, there was absolutely nothing to be said about the blaze that burned in her stomach when he looked at her with those crystal blue eyes of his as if she was the only person who mattered. Of course she could ignore the electrical shivers on her hands, her back, and her face whenever he touched her. It's not like he affected her or anything.

Yeah, right, Elena thought as she reluctantly looked through the dresses in her closet. Of course Damon affected her. How could he not? Not only was he extremely attractive, but he was also intelligent, proactive, and had developed into someone who really cared about the people in Mystic Falls. Damon tried so hard to pretend like no one in Mystic Falls mattered to him, like he could walk away without a backwards glance, but Elena knew this act was one huge cover for his true goodness. His role as the reluctant hero attracted her to him more than she wanted to admit. The burn in her stomach ignited into a ravenous wildfire whenever he focused his intense gaze on her. God help her if he tenderly moved a finger across her cheek; the electricity between them was strong enough to power an entire city. Oh yes, Damon Salvatore affected Elena. She refused to admit it to herself, but deep down she knew that she wanted him, and she knew he wanted her. That was a huge problem. She still loved Stefan, wherever he was at the moment.

The only way Elena knew she could trust herself to not act on her feelings for Damon was to not be around him, so she went out of her way to avoid being alone with him during the three months after their kiss. It wasn't easy. He had completely embedded himself into every aspect of her life. But when Elena nursed him back to health from his nearly fatal werewolf bite, she asked Caroline, Jeremy, and her vampire hunting history teacher Alaric Saltzman to be there with her. When everyone split up to search for Stefan, Elena chose to stay with Caroline, Tyler Lockwood, and Alaric while Bonnie, Jeremy, and Damon went elsewhere. She closed and locked all of the windows in her house and told Jeremy to do the same, not wanting to wake and see him sitting at the foot of her bed, watching her with his passionate eyes. She knew he could force her to talk to him, to demand an explanation for ignoring him, abandoning him, and treating him as if he didn't matter, but he didn't, and Elena appreciated that. She felt horrible for treating him so poorly, but she didn't know what else to do. She didn't want to face him because then she would actually have to acknowledge her feelings for him, something she didn't want to do with Stefan still in the picture.

The corners of Elena's mouth turned down into a frown as she spotted an unfamiliar splash of crimson peeking out from a pile of sweaters. She pushed them aside, picked up the red fabric, and held it out at arms length to see what it was. She gasped. She bought this dress four months ago to wear to her and Stefan's one year anniversary dinner. Stefan had hinted that he was going to take Elena on a weekend getaway, and he urged her to pack a dress he "couldn't wait to rip off her" if she wore it. Caroline and Bonnie joined Elena on the shopping trip for this dress, and when they saw it, they unanimously agreed that this was the dress for her. It was made of a crimson red silk that stopped at her mid-thigh and hugged every curve of her body. The front of the dress had a moderately low cut scoop, but the back of the dress was open to the base of Elena's spine. Stefan had indicated that Elena's back was his favorite body part of hers through the extra time and kisses he lavished there, and Elena wanted to accentuate that feature for him. Unfortunately, Stefan disappeared with Klaus a month before their anniversary, and in a tearful fit Elena shoved the dress to the back of her closet. She didn't want to see it and be reminded of his absence. Tonight was the first time she'd seen the dress in nearly two months. Part of Elena wanted to wear it upon Stefan's return, but a larger piece of her knew that he wouldn't be back any time soon. She had to wear this dress tonight.

As Elena began to lift the dress over her head, she heard her front door creak open. Startled, she dropped the dress on the floor and silently moved to grab the stake she permanently kept by her nightstand. After months of her house being casually invaded by vampires, Elena knew it was best to be prepared for any kind of supernatural attack.

"Jeremy?" she tentatively called out to the empty house. "Is that you?" The resounding silence deafened Elena's ears as her hand gripped the stake tightly. Her heart rate increased as a boiling sensation coursed through her blood. Please don't let it be a vampire, werewolf, doppelganger, or any other creature that isn't supposed to exist. Looking down at her body, Elena realized she still wore nothing but high heels and lacy underclothes. Desperate to clothe herself, her eyes darted around the bedroom until she spotted her lilac bathrobe on the floor by her windowseat. Keeping her eyes on her bedroom door, Elena slowly walked backwards, around her bed and to the spot where her bathroom lay on the carpet. As she crouched down to reach the robe, she felt a sharp crack in her right ankle as it wobbled in her heels. Elena stumbled and fell forward, taking her eyes off the door to focus her attention on her ankle. She massaged it and hesitantly rolled it around in its socket. Nothing felt out of place, so Elena tentatively crouched on her feet before propelling herself back to a standing position, her mind miles away from the creaking sound she heard earlier.

"Elena."

Elena froze. She knew that voice. She'd memorized its velvet sound, the way he said her name as if it were a hybrid of a caress, a plea, and a prayer. She heard that murmuring voice in her dreams at night, whispering words of longing and desire in her ear that made her want to grab, kiss, and claw him until the fireworks in her blood stopped bursting. They never did, and she'd been denying them access to each other for so long that the fireworks had been replaced by landmines. Landmines were far more dangerous and far easier to set off than fireworks, and Elena wasn't prepared to explode just yet. Steeling herself against feelings she didn't want to experience, Elena slowly turned to her bedroom doorway and saw Damon standing there.

He looked stunning. Dressed for the Charity Cocktail Gala in a black suit with a black button-up open at the neck, his black boots, and his hair windswept to the side, Damon exemplified masculine perfection. His eyes and jaw were tense from a combination of desire and frustration, and Elena clenched her fists to keep from walking over and smoothing the aggravation from his face. His eyes roamed up and down her body, stopping to appreciate her lean legs, toned stomach, rounded chest, and finally her full lips. Damon sharply inhaled as he looked at her, and Elena knew that he was exercising a serious amount of restraint to remain on the opposite side of her bedroom. Elena struggled to stay calm as she watched Damon, although she was positive that he could hear her heart pounding through her chest. She licked her lips and opened her mouth to break the silence.

"Damon, I –"

Damon was in front of Elena before she could even finish her sentence. Her eyes widened in surprise as Damon grabbed her hips and walked both of them backwards until her body was deliciously pressed between his chest and her window. As Elena lifted her hands to Damon's chest in attempt to push him away, he roughly grabbed both sides of her face and crushed his lips to hers in a potent, bruising kiss.

Elena knew this was wrong. She shouldn't be kissing Damon, not when she was technically still together with Stefan, but she craved the feel of Damon's lips against hers ever since they shared that kiss in his bedroom. Now they were in her bedroom, and the nature of this kiss was significantly different from their last one. Elena felt a whimper escape her throat as Damon's lips eagerly moved against hers, and she unconsciously reached up to run her fingers through his tousled black hair. Her nails clawed at his scalp, and Damon released a throaty moan as he pressed his bulging length into Elena's center. His hands frantically moved everywhere on her body as if desperate to touch every part of her at once, and he paused to place brief, fiery kisses on Elena's neck, shoulders, and collarbone before returning to capture her mouth in another soul-quenching kiss.

Elena's eyes snapped open as Damon reached around her back to unhook her bra, and she quickly slipped out of his arms. She scurried around to the other side of her bed, eager to put necessary space between the two of them. Damon's eyes overflowed with want as they both struggled to regain their breath. He leaned forward, as if to join Elena on her side of the room to continue what they just started.

"Damon, we can't," she whispered. Realizing how weak that sounded, Elena stood up straight and attempted to defiantly stare at Damon. "We can't. I'm still with Stef—"

"Don't you dare say his name," he growled, causing Elena to jump back in alarm. "Don't you dare ruin what just happened by bringing little brother Stefan into this."

Elena crossed her arms in attempt to appear stronger than she actually felt. He had kissed her absolutely boneless, and she hoped her limbs would stop feeling like jelly soon. The electric air crackled as his brilliant blue eyes glared at her.

"How did you get in the house? All of the windows are locked," she finally asked, anxiously shifting her weight from one foot to the other. Damon's lips curled upwards to form what Elena called his signature smirk. It reeked of arrogance, ownership, and pure dominance.

"Your door was unlocked."

"Do you normally just walk into people's houses without asking permission?"

"Do you normally avoid people for three months after you kiss them?" Damon immediately shot back, his voice filled with anger and hurt. He briskly removed his suit jacket and laid it on Elena's window seat before rolling up his shirt sleeves. She couldn't help but notice the way Damon's arm muscles bulged as he completed the action, and she clenched her hands into fists once again to keep from running her hands over them. He looked up at her once again, this time with a pained expression on his face that made Elena's heart wrench.

"I thought our relationship meant more to you than that." His words were both a statement and a question, and Elena felt her cheeks flush with shame as she looked down at her feet. She knew he needed answers, and she wasn't sure what any of them were.

"I needed some space," she finally said, biting her lower lip. She couldn't look at him, not when she'd been so unfair to him. "I wanted some quiet after everything that happened."

She watched him as he nodded and walked over to her bed. He sat down and picked up her tattered copy of The Perks of Being a Wallflower. A small smile cracked his stony features as he flipped through the pages.

"Are you sure this book wasn't written by my brother?" he joked, stopping to read from a section Elena underlined. "I don't know if you've ever felt like that. That you wanted to sleep for a thousand years. Or just not exist. Or just not be aware that you do exist. Or something like that. I think wanting that is very morbid, but I want it when I get like this. That's why I'm trying not to think. I just want it all to stop spinning."

Elena tried to match Damon's small smile with one of her own, but her mouth quivered as she saw the pain that was still present in his eyes, pain that she'd caused by avoiding him. His smile disappeared as he tossed the book on the nightstand, stood up, and leaned against the window they'd just been pressed up against.

"What's the real reason you've avoided me, Elena?" His words were now a demand instead of a statement. Her eyes searched his as she mechanically reached up to touch the vervain-laced necklace Stefan gave her, reminding both of them that it was still there. He watched her finger the locket, impatiently waiting for her to say something. Elena opened her mouth to say something but immediately closed it, unable to bear the words that are dying to escape her lips. Because I want you but I won't let myself act on it. Damon threw his arms up in disgust.

"You really have nothing to say to me, Elena? Nothing at all?" Damon instantly appeared in front of Elena again and backed her into the bedroom door. She lifted her hands to stop his advances, but he interwove his fingers with hers and lifted their hands above her head. He pressed his hard length against her and lowered his mouth to nibble at her ear. An involuntary moan escaped Elena's lips as her body and blood began to tingle. Damon playfully nipped Elena's ear once more before intently staring into her eyes.

"You know why I think you've been avoiding me?" he asked as he leaned down to kiss Elena's bare collarbone. She inhaled sharply. Damon's scent of spice and sandalwood filled her nose. She looked right back at Damon, a challenge in her eyes.

"Damon, I don't have time for this—"

"I think," he said, abruptly cutting her off, "that you've been avoiding me because you want me more than you care to admit. I think that you have feelings for me that are way stronger than any feelings you have or ever had for my brother, and that you've been avoiding me because you're afraid to act on them."

"Oh really," Elena whispered as Damon kissed a delicate trail from her shoulder to her neck.

"Really." Damon paused as he felt Elena move beneath him, stifling the heavy groan that threatened to spill from his throat. "And you know what else I think, Elena?"

Elena was speechless. An excruciating pressure dominated her inner core, and that pressure grew stronger every time Damon touched her. Her body needed Damon's hands, lips, and body to cover hers, betraying her weakening desire to remain loyal to Stefan until they could save him from Klaus. She shook her head as Damon leaned over to gently touch his forehead to hers. The beauty and strength of his eyes hypnotized her as she looked into them.

"I think," he began, his eyes hardening, "that you're a coward, Elena. You're a coward because you know that what we feel for each other is real and important and good and you're not even giving us a chance because you're scared of everything we could be. You're scared of being like Katherine. You're scared that your friends are going to judge you for loving me too. Yes, I said it," he interrupted as Elena gasped at his mention of the word love. "And worst of all, you're scared of me and how much I love you, because you know that no one will ever love you the way that I love you. You know that your soul doesn't burn for others the same way it burns for me. You know that I understand you better than anyone else, and you know how painstakingly perfect we are for each other."

Elena's heart pounded heavily in her chest as Damon leaned in even closer and placed his hands on either side of her face. Tears outlined his eyes as they searched hers for a sense of understanding. "I used to think of you as the sun in my life, Elena. The sun's bad for me. I burn in the sun, but I want to bask in it so badly. I cheat by wearing this ring, because it allows me to get close to something I never thought I could have."

A tear rolled down Elena's cheek and Damon quickly lifted a finger up to wipe it away, his eyes remaining intently on hers. She slowly fisted her hands in Damon's shirt. "And now?"

Damon looked at Elena with a passion that made her toes curl with desire. His hands moved beneath her and they surfaced without his ring. He placed it on her dresser.

"Burn me, Elena. Kiss me, touch me, do anything you want with me. I need to be in your sunlight more than I've ever needed anything else in my entire existence."

Tears fell freely from Elena and Damon's eyes as they looked at each other. Elena's heart was breaking because she saw the need in Damon's eyes that so desperately consumed him. His entire existence revolved around his search for acceptance and self worth. His father and Katherine both rejected him in favor of Stefan. The people Damon had needed the most didn't need him back, and Elena knew that knowledge haunted him. Damon needed her to need him, to give him a reason to stay around. He needed her to prove that he was just as valuable in her life, if not more, than Stefan, and Elena started crying harder because she knew that she wasn't at that place yet.

"I'm so sorry, Damon," she finally managed to say through her tears. "I can't."

Damon slowly stepped away from Elena as her rejection sunk in. She wept even harder when she saw him remove the emotion from his face and replace it with a blank look. He was shutting his emotions off because of her denial. He refused to let himself feel the pain of being rejected by the person he loved more than anything or anyone in his entire existence.

"Have it your way, Elena," he ground out through clenched teeth as he grabbed his suit jacket off her window seat. "I hope you have a miserable life with your precious saintly ripper boyfriend. Maybe your wretchedness will teach you to be braver when you have the chance."

As Elena opened her mouth to say something, anything, she felt a gust of air move past her body. When she looked up, her room was empty. Damon was gone. Elena slowly sank to her knees and began to sob, hugging her body as if he were the one holding it. She pressed her hands to her heart, feeling it shatter into thousands of shards of glass. She was an idiot to turn him away. She loved him. She, Elena Gilbert, was in love with Damon Salvatore, and she was the coward that he accused her of being. She could set this right. She had to set this right.

Elena shakily got to her feet. She walked over to her dresser to find a pair of earrings to wear with her red dress. As she looked down at the dresser's edge, Elena released a huge gasp.

Damon's ring sat right where he left it, and Elena had the horrible feeling that he wouldn't return for it.