Chapter 34: The Face that Launched a 1,000 Star Command Ships

"NOoo~!" shouted Buzz and Woody when they saw both women go down! Bullseye was the next to shriek as he reared up on his hindquarters, inadvertently sending his spud cargo to the ground! It was a good thing for Bart and Betty that their biology was a bit sturdier than the locals of the planet. Otherwise, they probably would have been in far more trouble after being all but trampled by a spooked horse! Needless to say, even a distant onlooker at that point could tell the potato couple was down for the count. Not even Bart's lone appendage was twitching anymore with no conscious body to move it.

Jane was coughing and having trouble breathing as blood starting filling one of her lungs. She cursed as she tried and failed to sit up from the ground!

"Lousy, cheap space folk armor! Can't even stop a mud ball bullet!" Choked Bazooka Jane as she weakly tore open the top half of her ruined shirt to reveal the remnants of a not-so-bullet-proof vest and a gapping bullet hole! Just as she suspected. The severity of the situation confirmed, Jane did not attempt to move again and angrily stared up at the sky as if it were the offending party. Bazooka Jane was many things, but suicidal had not been one of them when she threw herself in front of Bo Peep. If she was going to be like Jessie again, she would be damned if she was taken out by that deputy's heroic, self-sacrificing tenacities! Bazooka Jane was a survivor who came prepared and took calculated risks! Then again, maybe she had inadvertently been suicidal by putting so much faith in "advanced", alien technology. Evidently, laser-blast resistant vests did hardly anything in the way of protection when it came to good, old, physical projectiles! It was a careless miscalculation and she probably would have been better off wearing a door off a cast-iron stove for all the good this flimsy, meshy, space fabric did her!

Buzz was again by Jane's side in a heartbeat and so was Bo Peep the moment the shepherdess regained her senses! Buzz moved to pull Jane into her arms, but Bo Peep stopped him and started ripping her own sleeves off to cover Jane's wound before applying direct pressure! Naturally, Jane let out a painful cry at the compression!

"What are you doing?!" demanded Buzz, reacting to Jane's distress, obviously not thinking clearly.

"Bo's also the town physician." Woody flatly explained. Buzz was all amazement as to how this one person could have so many professions!

"It's gets boring herding sheep all day. It affords you a lot of time to read." Bo Peep shrugged as she continued her improvised attempt to stop the hopefully ex-bandit's bleeding. Evidently, this bored shepherdess was a prodigal, medical genius judging by the way she meticulously finished her grisly work. However, she still had a worried, dissatisfied look on her face that was not very encouraging to Buzz. "That's better than nothing. But I can't do much better for her without my surgical instruments!" Bo Peep gritted as she wiped her bloody hands on her jeans.

"There's a medical laboratory on this base! If it survived all this mayhem, we can bring her there!" Buzz declared as he searched for a clear path back to the facility that might no longer exist.

"Is it even safe to move her?" Woody questioned, worried what might happen if they jostled Jane's fragile body too much.

"I think we have no other choice, Woody." Bo Peep gently confessed. Faced with Jane's grim options of stay here and die or attempt the trip to the lab and maybe die, Buzz carefully motioned to lift up Jane.

"All right. Bullseye and Miss Peep will see to Jane's safe transport. I'll lead from the front and clear it of anyone who might try to get in our way. Woody will watch the rear in case anyone tries to follow us." Buzz stated, taking charge of their impromptu rescue mission.

"I think Jessie and I can do one better…" Jane coughed, the effort of speaking causing her to spit up a little bit more blood as she raised her hand to Buzz's chest to stop him from moving her. Much to Buzz's horror, the blood on her palm transferred on to his still mostly white and green armor, leaving a perfect, red handprint! Buzz nearly lost his reason at that foreboding sight. What did Jane mean by not wanting to be moved?! Could she not see that they needed to get her back to the lab immediately?! Despite his insistence, Jane only continued to look to the sky expectantly, which compelled Buzz's eyes to follow her line of sight. A moment later, it was as if another large blast went off in the heavens above! It only took Buzz another half of a second to realize what it really was…

"Another wormhole?!" Buzz gaped as he looked to Jane for an explanation. Lucidly, she was chuckling.

"It worked…"

"How?" Buzzed stuttered.

"You know that flare I sent up Porkchop's glowworm of a beam before? The one right before I let your ship go to the dogs? Well, it wasn't a flare. It was a message beacon."

"What?!" Everyone exclaimed!

"Yep, specifically a message to Star Command. Something to the tune of 'Unless you lunk-headed space folk don't give a Continental that Buzz Lightyear is in trouble, get your rears over here now!'" Jane smiled smugly, despite the blood trickling out the corner of her mouth, while everyone else stared at her in disbelief. Then there was another flash! A full Star Command armada blasting through the new wormhole, shortly followed by the loud sound of thousands of smaller Star Command ships stopping just short of busting through the planet's atmosphere! Even jaded Jane was a bit in awe at the sight she brought about. She smiled harder. Looks like, among other things, they actually heeded her warning encoded in her message about the danger their ships would be in if they tried to land on the planet's surface. Good. They did not need any more space knickknacks crashing in the desert.

"Looks like the cavalry has finally arrived!" Laughed Woody.

In the pandemonium that followed, Buzz was happy to let others clean up the mess. Others could quash any of Zurg's minions who were still pointlessly fighting or returning fire from the ground. He had more important matters to attend. He opened a com-link.

"This is Space Ranger Buzz Lightyear. The most imminent Zurg threat has been neutralized. I repeat, neutralized. Requesting a medic team be dispatched immediately to my exact coordinates. We have a critically injured Terran down here. I repeat. Critically injured Terran in need of immediate medical assistance. Do you copy?"

["I'll escort them down myself. Looks like you've been keeping yourself busy while everyone else thought you were dead."] Came an all too familiar, arrogant voice over the com-link, it was "Captain Major Pain", himself!

'Guess he survived our last encounter with the Zurg's warship.' Buzz thought to himself as he resisted the urge to roll his eyes. Major Pain could be just like his nickname all he liked, for all Buzz cared. Just so long as he could get a medical team down to them without intercepting any enemy fire or crashing a ship like he did.

Apparently Star Command could do one step better too. In a flash, the irksome captain and several space rangers teleported directly down along with a full medical team. Their laser guns were out the moment their feet touched the ground to provide cover fire if needed for the medics or to contribute to Zurg Crony Cleanup. The medics worked fast getting their patient ready for teleportation. Buzz, Bo Peep and Woody stepped out of the way to give them room, but Buzz tried to be in Jane line of sight for moral support. The head of the medic team really took charge of the situation. She quickly complimented Bo Peep's first aid attempt as she replaced the wrappings with some serious, medical space tech and all while asking Bo Peep a series of rapid fire inquires. The result of which was Bo Peep being quickly scanned for a medical reference of a healthy, female, Terran cardiovascular system. They did not have anything adequate on file. Jane's condition was still critical, but steadily stabilizing and so Buzz was allowed to take Jane's hand for the rest of the duration of teleportation prep.

"You're in good hands, Jane." Buzz promised, as he kissed her hand in a way that was surprising out of character to all observing except the two parties involved.
"Channeling Spanish Buzz again, space toy?" Jane could not help but tease.

"Maybe," Buzz actually flirted, "Won't it be helpful when you take me places near here where Spanish is spoken? Especially in that place you mentioned last night. What did you call it? 'The Border of South'?"

"Some thing like that." Jane could not help but laugh at Buzz's jumbling up the place name in spite of the increasing pain from being prodded at. Boy, he really was not-from-around-here. "Yeah, I think I'd really enjoy going there with you, Buzz." Jane smiled.

"Yeah, that's not happening." Major Pain's voice suddenly cut in so unexpectedly Buzz practically jolted to his feet.

"What?" Buzz demanded confusedly, the shock of being torn from his private, little world with Jane still so disorienting. Major Pain's team had made short work of any stragglers in the immediate area and so he had come back to check on the progress of his original assignment: extraction. Seeing the mission leader, one of the medical technicians automatically handed over a report on the Terran's condition so he could determine how soon it would be before his team could join in the real fight. Half reviewing the report, he was relatively convinced that he would be relieved of his babysitting duties soon when he heard his space ranger of interest seemingly making future travel plans with the injured, alien inhabitant?!

"I do hope you're joking, Lightyear." Major Pain catechized as he opened his helmet, "You know any sort of relationship with her would be against the Prime Directive. No species capable of Interstellar travel is to have any interaction with a species that has yet to do so themselves. Our mission here, as always, is to clean up the mess your dad's made, probably mind wipe the whole, primitive planet and then leave." he stated coldly as he looked up from his report.

"Buzz...?" Jane's weakened voice shook and her borderline-panicked eyes flew to the space ranger, not believing what she was hearing. Woody was of the same mind as his sister and turned to the only space folk he trusted.

"Buzz, is what this space folk saying true?" he asked Buzz point blank. Buzz was too stunned to answer. Interference with underdeveloped planets was strictly prohibited, as a rule. But it inevitably happened anyway and when it did, depending on the circumstances, the way that Star Command mitigated the problem could very well be just as extreme the captain said. Mind wiping was only reserved for extreme cases though. Usually to avoid a planet's inhabitants going into a worldwide panic. Surely that would not be necessary here, though! All of his friends' seemed to handle the concept of aliens without destroying themselves with fear. But in all honesty, he honestly did not know how Star Command would rate this incident… Unfortunately, Buzz's unintended lack of response was a good as a confirmation of his friends' and Jane's worst fear…

Major Pain looked back down at his report and concluded, "Hmm, I see here this poor woman has already had several botched memory wipes performed on her with outdated equipment. With the proper adjustments, we should be able to successfully mind wipe everyone on the planet and allow this harassed species to continue to advance uninfluenced by outside forces-"

"Her blood pressure's spiking!" shouted one medic interrupting the captain! Everyone forgot about the captain's disturbing reality check after that and turned to Jane! Jane had a dazed, terrified look on her face with her arm outstretched towards her space ranger beyond her reach, and soon, in more ways than she could ever remember.

"Buzz…" She called. Then Jane started to seize.

"What happened?!" Another medic asked one of his colleagues.

"I don't know! I was monitoring her stress levels when they suddenly just shot up!" The third medic answered pitifully.

"She's going into cardiac arrest!" The head medic continued! Her whole team was scrambling around their patient now! Through some sort of method that neither Bo Peep or Woody understood, the team got their patient as "stable". Well, as someone probably in hypertensive crisis could be expected to be. The head medic then shouted into her communicator, "We are not getting this patient any more stable! Override the safety protocol, I need a teleport now!" The words barely left her lips before Jane and the entire medic team dematerialized! Buzz, Woody and Bo Peep were effectively left behind.

Buzz turned to Major Pain, still present with his team of space rangers.

"I need myself and these two Terrans beamed up to wherever the patient was taken, now!"

"Don't forget Bullseye!" Woody insisted.

"Three Terrans." Buzz corrected, he had no time to argue the ramification to having a horse beamed onto a starship right now. The captain was speaking again and it was all Buzz could do not to start a brawl with the arrogant space ranger.

"None of them are going anywhere, Lightyear. If the woman survives, these Terrans will be reunited with their friend back here on the planet. Afterwards, they will be mind wiped and none the wiser of the stress they endured during Zurg's lackey's intrusion. Also, if you have not forgotten, Lightyear… I don't care what the higher-ups say, you are still technically persona non grata and we have a Zurg invasion to clean up down here. It would look better for you, Son of Zurg, to stick to the job and forget about any little dalliances you had on this planet that you were never meant to have had in the first place. There's no harm in you going a bit native. But you have to do it with, in this case, alien women from more advanced planets than this-" POW! Bo Peep saved Buzz the trouble on getting written up for assaulting a fellow space ranger and Woody's already over-tested limbs from further injury by giving "Major Pain" a major pain in his unhelmeted chin! The man was down and whimpering on the ground from the unexpected attack.

"Seems to me, without all that space tech, you space folk go down just as easily as we 'Terrans' do. Maybe even more so." Bo Peep said smugly.

"Why you little, primitive, scum ball-born…" the injured space ranger tried to get up, but she kicked his legs out from under him.

"Yes, and about that. You would think with the advancement of your cosmos traveling species, you would have learned one universal truth. It doesn't matter if you are born on a 'scum ball' or the offspring of the biggest one in the Universe… It's the strength of your character that defines the person you are. And right now, yours is lower than a snake's belly." Bo Peep quipped with her cowboy, a Zurg-spawn space ranger and a horse flanking her on either side. "Now, do you need help getting up?" Bo Peep offered kindly, extending her hand for the space ranger to take it. He refused to take her hand and even to look at her.

"Just get up there and out of my sight." He muttered as he brought his com-link to him swollen face. "Requesting beam up for Priority One and two Terrans—" Major Pain was interrupted by Bullseye's whinnying. "Correction, three Terrans." With that, Buzz and his ragtag team of rebels were gone before Major Pain could even get back off the ground. One of his more politic team members was not bold enough to offer to help his captain up from the dust, but they did ventured a kind word.

"It's just as well Lightyear went up as soon as he did, sir. Normally, he always wants to stay and fight. And with his plainly damaged suit, he wouldn't have been much help to any of us down here." The kind words might not have been necessary though, Buzz being removed from the situation and the jolt to his system in the form of a left hook seemed to have calmed him down. Major Pain spit out a bit of blood from his mouth before sealing his space helmet up again.

"Agreed. Babysitting him until we could take him back to the commander would have just cramped our style." With that, the team raced out to find some bad guys to round up.

Buzz did not skip a beat as they rematerialized on one of what was scores of teleportation platforms.

"I want to express my most sincere apologies for the captain's behavior. That was no way to treat anybody and I'll be sure to report to Star Command about it. I can still do that, no matter what my standing is now, I won't shirk my duties." Buzz stated in full, by the book, space ranger mode to his friends. Reassuring his friends that his space ranger associate would be held accountable was an appreciated gesture. However, as they took in the colossal, brilliantly lit, metallic room they now occupied, it was a little lost on his friends. Not to mention that the experience of being teleported, more so without the feeling of being ill immediately following, was a bit distracting too. This was especially true for Bullseye who had never been teleported at all and Woody hurried to comfort his bewildered horse as he gently led him by the bridle and followed after Buzz. Bo Peep was undoubtedly in awe of the technology that was infinitely more splendid than anything she had even seen in Porkchop's base, but she tried not to let it distract her. She was on a mission: find their friend with two names: Jessie Pride and Bazooka Jane.

"I assume that sick bay is somewhere near here, Buzz?" Bo Peep inquired craning her neck towards the enormous set of large, metal door he was speedily walking towards.

"Affirmative, sick bay is down the corridor right beyond these double doors." Buzz could not help but break his serious demeanor and smiled at Bo Peep's intuitiveness even when out of her element. "Once in sick bay, I won't stop you from seeing…" Buzz paused for a moment, unsure what to call the fiery haired cowgirl who stole his heart anymore. "Patient" was acceptable before when referring her to strangers, but certainly Bo Peep and Woody must want to think of her as Jessie again and he did not want to upset them. More confusing, she had been referring to herself as both individuals in the minutes before she was shot and even before she was beamed up to sick bay. Heck, her… condition could have changed drastically since then too with her under the care of some of the best medical minds in the galaxy… It was all so bizarre, surreal and complicated and it was not helping being back on a space ship when for a time he thought he might be stuck on Jane's planet and become her "partner in crime"… Then it hit him what to call her! "Miss Peep, Woody… I won't stop you from seeing our partner, but I would like to encourage you all, at some point, to have the doctors examine you for injuries too. If only as a precautionary measure after such an ordeal. The doctors will probably insist anyway." Buzz explained as he was about to activate the doors. Catching Buzz by surprise, before he could open the large doors, they swished open on their own. It was not nearly as surprising though as what lied beyond the massive doorframe as Buzz Lightyear found himself standing face to face with Buzz Lightyear?! Flabbergasted at seeing double, Woody raised his hand up to get Buzz's attention and had only one thing to say.

"Buzz, I think I will take you up on that medical exam now, please."