Sherlock Won't Say He's in Love

If there's a prize for rotten judgement
I guess I've already won that

Sherlock sighed when the door slammed shut. This sigh wasn't a contented sigh, this wasn't the sigh he would occasionally let slip when John would put a perfect cup of tea in his hands, gently, accidentally brushing his finger tips against Sherlock's. Nor was it was the disappointed sigh he would let out much more frequently when John was being just a little too dim on their cases together, or someone that could have been a really brilliant criminal turned out to be mundane. No this sigh was completely new and foreign to Sherlock, it was a regretful sigh. This was an entirely new concept for Sherlock, regret. He had never regretted anything before John Watson had limped into his life. Now it seemed he was regretting lots of things, his drug addiction for one. John always managed to make Sherlock feel ashamed of being on drugs. Outwards he could maintain the cool, what's done is done mask. He could control his facial features but inside. He couldn't stop his insides curling into a ball like a scared kitten when John gave him that look. He felt embarrassed about it, ashamed and he knew he'd never go near drugs again. Well that what he'd said up until he'd destroyed Moriarty, Moran and most of his organisation. Now all the criminals in London were dull, dull, dull. He could play P.I. if he wanted but frankly that was beneath him. John was busy a lot of the time and pointed out continuously that Sherlock was not a child, he didn't need constant attention. So he'd stuck one needle in his arm. One measly needle and it'd screwed up everything. He wasn't even sure what the drug had been, but it had been strong and John had been home early. Not a good combination. After the shouting had finished John had muttered something about calling people and then stormed out. Sherlock felt like an idiot. He had been so stupid. So, so stupid and now everything was messed up. It was just a little drug. But he knew why John was upset but he wasn't an addict he'd been clean for five years! Yet for some reason this reasoning wasn't making him feel better like it normally did against Mycroft and Lestrade.

No man is worth the aggravation
That's ancient history
Been there, done that

Sherlock had several theories as to why he wanted to please John. Most of them displeased him and the one he was absolutely sure was correct made him annoyed. Annoyed that he had to feel again. Sherlock had given feeling a go once when he was younger and he never wanted to relive it.

Who'd you think you're kiddin'?
He's the Earth and Heaven to you
Try to keep it hidden
Honey, we can see right through you
Girl, you can't conceal it
We know how you feel and
Who you're thinking of

He heard feet pounding up the stairs, excellent John was back. No that was two pairs of feet. One could have been John or Lestrade, the other was much louder, the footfalls heavier. Oh no, he'd called Mycroft. He was inclined to believe that the other pair were Lestrade, John was too mad to come back, seeing as he had called Mycroft. Then he heard more feet. Someone in high heels; his assistant and someone walking slowly; Mrs Hudson. The front door was flung open and all his deductions were proved correct.

"Afternoon Mycroft, Lestrade, Mrs Hudson and what is your name to day?"
"I think Ophelia."
"Not very subtle." said Sherlock.
"Subtle?" asked Lestrade.
"Morphine, Morpheus, Orpheus, Ophelia. Wasn't a difficult leap."
"Right. What the hell Sherlock?" asked Lestrade "You took drugs!"
"Obviously, I was bored." Lestrade sank onto the sofa scowling at Sherlock. "Where's John?" There was a pause and suddenly all the angry looks vanished and were replaced by sly grins.

"Why?" asked Lestrade
"I wish to the location of my friend, is that too much."
"You've never asked after John before."
"Yes but John has a nasty habit of getting kidnapped."
"Sherlock, Moriarty can't burn John anymore, he's dead." It Sherlock half a second to process what Lestrade had said.

"I beg your pardon?"
"Sherlock we're not stupid, contrary to what you might think." Sherlock snorted. "We all know you're in love with John, he is as Moriarty so eloquently put it your heart and that is why you were prepared to spend all that time 'dead'. It was to save John. You're in love with him, simple as." Sherlock looked at him then at Ophelia who looked over her blackberry and nodded once in agreement, then to Mrs Hudson.

"It's quite obvious dearie," she said "You always look dreadfully lonely without him and you get awfully upset when he goes off on dates." Sherlock then looked at Mycroft who had a smug grin on his face.

"It was most obvious to me, that man had gotten under your skin. He could make you laugh, giggle even, after just meeting you. Then the protection you organised for him after the whole Moriarty debacle before you went off chasing him in Europe. You're not kidding any of us especially not me."

No chance, No way
I won't say it, no, no

Sherlock shook his head. True he may care for John and he had hypothesised that he may feel a deep affection for him but he was not in love with him.

"No I'm not in love with him. You're theorising with out data. I care about John because he is my friend and he is a good man to me. He puts up with me but there no way I am in love with him. I cannot be in love. It's impossible."

You swoon, you sigh,
Why deny it? uh-oh

All four people in the room rolled their eyes.

"Sherlock you're different around John." said Lestrade. "You care about what John thinks about you. You blush when he compliments you, for crying out loud."
"And you sigh every time he leaves." added Mrs Hudson
"There's no point denying it." added Ophelia "There's video footage of just staring at him for hours. It's a little creepy."
"Yes and then there's that one clip when you tuck him up on the sofa like a child and start stroking his hair." Sherlock blushed scarlet at that, how could he have forgotten about Mycroft's damn cameras.

It's too cliche
I won't say I'm in love

"I am not in love with him. Even if Moriarty is out of the way it's still too dangerous."

"Oh come on Sherlock you're going to have to do better than that. This is the man who runs around London after you, chases criminals, carries a gun. He's a bloody ex-soldier. He already gets enough attention for living with you. I think most people think you're in a relationship anyway." Sherlock just turned away but instead met Mycroft who was looking at him with a knowing eye. Of course Mycroft would remember his first experiment.

I thought my heart had learned it's lesson
It feels so good when you start out
My head is screaming "Get a grip, girl!"
Unless you're dying to cry your heart out
Oh

He'd tried feeling on his father. Tried to feel affection for the man. It had been surprisingly easy, they just had to play their violins together and Sherlock felt a bond and a rush of affection towards the man and then he'd died. Just like that. Sherlock had been 7. It hadn't been fair. Sherlock had gone to wake him so they could play when the sun rose and he was cold. It was a heart attack. It had hurt. After that Sherlock had drawn a line under that experiment. Conclusion feelings=hurt. Yet here he was feeling for John. Illogical.

You keep on denying
Who you are and how you're feeling
Baby, were not buying
Hon, we saw you hit the ceiling
Face it like a grown-up
When you gonna own up
That you got, got, got it bad?

"Sherlock we know you like John. We know John likes you." It was Ophelia. She was typing on her blackberry but she glanced over it to look at him. "There's no point denying it. All you two will do is run rings around each other. Now obviously we can't expect John to make the first move."
"How could he." cut in Mycroft. "He thinks you're asexual."
"With good reason." added Lestrade
"Yes thank you, but the point is, is that John won't figure it out anytime soon because he's already reached his conclusion. It's making him very depressed. You have the opportunity to make you both very happy."
"Yeah all you have to do is man up and say three measly words it's not hard." cut in Lestrade.
"Especially if you're as smitten as you are dear." said Mrs Hudson. "The words will roll right off you're tongue."

No chance, no way,
I won't say it, no, no

Sherlock stared expressionlessly at all four of them. The only thing he wasn't masking was the faint incredulity at the situation. This was getting out of hand.

"I am not saying anything to John and I will also not be taking advice on love from any of you."
"Hey I'm married."
"Not happily."
"That's work." Sherlock just raised an eyebrow at him
"And I was married."
"Yes and you were so happy that I got your husband executed that you gave me a discount on the flat." Mrs Hudson paused slightly affronted and Lestrade frowned trying to work out whether or not he was joking.

Give up, give in
Check the grin you're in love

"Either way we know way more about love than you and we are telling you Sherlock you have fallen head first in it."
"Yes struggling is futile." Ophelia muttered.
"It's for your own good, I don't know why you're so resistant to something that will make you so happy." said Mycroft. "Then again you always made your mission to annoy others from the age of two but not John."
"God he must have been hell as a kid."
"Funnily enough Inspector he hasn't changed much."
"Look Sherlock, I know must all be foreign to you but John is your best friend, he loves and he knows that. He'd never push you into anything. I've heard the two of you giggling like school girls up here. You're perfect for each other."

This scene won't play,
I won't say I'm in love

Sherlock was experiencing an unfamiliar sinking experience in his stomach every time he opened his mouth; was it guilt. Looking at all the evidence they were presenting him he could see where they had drawn their conclusions from. John had made him human. John had dissolved him into a bunch of human emotions with all his smiles, and patience and understanding. John the doctor, John the soldier, John his friend. John the person to take Sherlock for exactly who he was 'It's all fine'. John had honestly meant that. John didn't care as long as he got to come along to cases and his limp stayed away and they had edible food in the fridge and roof over their heads, John didn't care.

Something in his exterior features must have dissolved when he had been thinking about John because he saw them all looking at him in triumph. He carefully and efficiently reassembled his mask. They couldn't know they were anywhere near, possibly, even conceivably right.

"That Mrs Hudson is the stupidest thing you have ever said to me. It also won't happen because, surprising I'm not with John, I'm a high functioning sociopath."

You're doin' flips, read our lips:
You're in love

"Sherlock can we please drop this ridiculous 'sociopath' label. You care about John, if you no one else you care about John. That means you're capable of caring and that sort of ruins the diagnosis." said Lestrade.
"I have to agree with the Inspector. You care about John, just then your whole face softened, you looked like a love struck teenager. All because you were thinking of John."
"That's love."
"Yes the Japanese prime minister agrees with us." there was a pause in which everyone in the room looked at Ophelia. "It's a very good way to build ties with other countries by the way, thank you Sherlock. Don't worry he doesn't know your name or anything. I just summarised the problem and discussed it between policies." Mycroft sent her an appraising look.
"I knew there was a reason I hired you."
"Anyway he thinks you're in love and you should get together ASAP."

You're way off base, I won't say it
Get off my case, I won't say it

If Sherlock had thought it had been out of hand before it definitely was now. The Japanese prime minister. He was annoyed at them. They were sitting in his flat telling him how he felt. No one told Sherlock anything, no one, Sherlock told them. Especially not his brother and Lestrade.

"Look I don't know what world you are living in but you have this completely wrong. I don't love him. Now get of my flat, you're all starting to slightly irritate me."

Girl, don't be proud
It's ok you're in love

For some reason this made them smile all the more.

"Don't worry Sherlock. We know and we're not telling anyone but I received word John is on his way back." Mycroft stood up swinging his umbrella slightly, a sickeningly sweet smile on his face. Sherlock scowled at him. Ophelia stood too.

"The Japanese prime minister wishes you the best of luck in your endeavours." she said. His scowl deepened. Mycroft and Ophelia both left conversing in low tones. Mrs Hudson got up muttering about afternoon soothers.

"You'll get there in the end, dear." she said patting his leg, before leaving. This left Lestrade standing in the living room. He got to his feet.

"Sherlock, you do know it's okay to be in love don't you?"
"Of course why wouldn't it be?"
"No for you to be in love. It won't make you any less clever. Just because Moriarty was right and he got there first." he shrugged and walked to the door. "Sherlock if you continue to put your pride in front of your and John's happiness, you might find another drugs bust coming your way." He left. Sherlock remained sitting there, confused. Was that really the reason he wouldn't say it, because Moriarty had got the answer before Sherlock had even considered it a possibility; that could very well be true.

Oh
At least out loud,
I won't say I'm in love

He heard footsteps on the stairs. This time they were Johns, he could tell by the way his left was slightly heavier than his right that the earlier argument was weighing heavily on his mind. Sherlock put his chin on his fingers. Was there a way for him to tell John that he loved him without those words passing his lips. He could hear John turning the keys in the lock. He pushed himself to his feet and crossed the room in one stride and was at the door when it opened.

John had not been happy with Sherlock's relapse but he thought that the time he had had to spend being lectured and threatened by Lestrade and Mycroft put together should be sufficient punishment. God he hated Sherlock sometimes, but most of the time John pitied him. It must be awful to be so bored that you had to resort to drugs to alleviate that state of mind. However John knew this empathy was only inclined towards Sherlock because John loved him, and honestly it wasn't doing him any favours. He had noticed his limp had returned because of how much this was troubling him. He marched up the stairs with a fact set resolutely in his mind. He was going to tell Sherlock how he felt. He didn't care if he had to move out, he didn't care if the detective scoffed and pretended it never happened. He just needed to get it off his chest.

He wrenched open the door, a lot more forcefully than necessary and was greeted with Sherlock; kissing him. John froze for a second and then relaxed, he had no idea what Mycroft and Lestrade had done to provoke this reaction but didn't mind. It was a lot less awkward than actually talking to Sherlock.

Downstairs Mrs Hudson crept into her kitchen a smile on her face. Her mobile phone was clutched in her hands. She quickly sent a text to Mycroft, 'Ophelia' and Greg.

Success!-Mrs Hson. Accompanied with a picture of the detective and the doctor kissing in the doorway. They might not have said it but this was the next best thing.

A/N: This fic was inspired by a video on youtube that shares the same name. I've posted the link below.
.com/watch?v=HrrZz7uXMdg
Please leave a review, of how you thought, this was. And I am aware Mycroft's assitant is doing really random things in my songfics but she's really hard to write because she does nothing in the couple of minutes she's on screen, is it just too random though?
Thanks for reading!
Sopphires