Why the Navy SEALs are Men's Sexual Heroes,

Or

This is Why Steve McGarrett Drives Danny Williams Insane

Author's Note: With apologies to Peter Schorsch, who created the list which I had many laughs over, and can be found here in all its original glory: /2011/05/why-the-navy-seals-are-mens-sexual-heroes/. No infringement intended. But really...when you see a blog entry with this kind of title and you're an H50 fan, what do you expect? (And yes, this little work of showcasing my own brand of crazy will go through each and every one of those 21 reasons.)

Summary: Whether you think the Danny and Steve pairing is bromance, romance or anything else on the spectrum of things it could is irrelevant, because this? This is why Steve McGarrett drives Danny Williams insane.

Reason 1

They drop in during the middle of the night, and they've come and gone before you know it.

Danny thought for sure he was in the middle of a cardiac event. Never mind that his heart was beating perfectly fine, albeit roughly fifty beats per second too fast. Never mind that he was still breathing okay and had no pains in his arms. Or the thin sheet of sweat his body was covered in, or even the way his sleep-addled brain tried desperately to figure out whether fight or flight was the best option.

It really didn't help at all to come to the (rather) quick realization that he didn't need to feel like his doom was imminent once he saw what he saw. Which was, as he sat up on his foldout bed, sheets already soaked around him with his I-really-didn't-need-to-freak-out-quite-that-much sweat, a six-pack of beer with four ice packs duct taped to its cardboard outsides.

Danny's eyes shot to his alarm clock. It was three in the morning, and for some reason Steve McGarrett had decided that was the perfect time to prove to him that their earlier cargument had not at all been won by Danny. Oh, no, this right here, this I-got-into-your-apartment-and-left-the-beer-for-you-to-prove-I-do-so-pay-for-our-beer-sometimes move by his far-too-stealthy partner proved that Steve had indeed won it.

And while Danny knew he'd probably lay awake the next two hours coming up with every single way he wanted to verbally fillet his partner when he showed up for work, the shit of it was, he knew that was exactly what McGarrett wanted.

Damn ninja.

Reason 2

They are good in tight areas.

"How do you even...Christ, McGarrett! With legs that long, how can you even-?"

"Danny, stop wiggling, for Chrissakes!"

"Well, excuse me for trying to get my hogtied self out of the situation!"

"If you'd stop moving, I'd have had us out already."

"Yeah, no, see, that's where you're wrong, because you have way too many inches of arms and legs to even maneuver-"

…

"You were saying?"

"How the hell do you do that?"

"I'm trained."

"To endure torture? Yes. To kill a man using a leaf, a grain of sand and the blood seeping from a gaping wound in your abdomen? Probably. But to get four feet combined of leg and probably three feet combined of arms...and no, I've never measured...out of ropes and handcuffs all while tied to my back? This I cannot believe you were trained for. How do you even come up with a scenario like that?"

"You have realized, haven't you, that I've got you untied, too."

"Huh. Well. Okay, then. I'll give you this one, McGarrett. But that does not mean you get to go getting us into situations like this again just so you can show off your Houdini skills."

"Wouldn't think of it, Danny."

"Smug bastard."