"Bullshit."
"No, Chr-"
"No, that's fucking bullshit Darren."
"And how is it exactly bullshit that I'm in love with you?"
Darren was sitting at Chris' dining room table, his hands folded and jaw set. Chris' eyes were glaring hard at the table and his voice was lost with everything going on in his mind.
Chris replayed the scene that had just unfolded in apartment. He was just sitting at his laptop, writing of course. That was all he was doing now a days. With his new Disney show coming up, he knew he had to get everything done before the deadline.
Deep in his writing element, his door slammed closed and Chris' eyes shot up to a very crazed-looked Darren. Chris noticed something was off about Darren all week. The way he had been avoiding Chris' eyes every time they weren't filming, how normally they would always hangout after shooting a scene but Darren had raced off and shut himself off in his trailer. Not to mention how he only got one-worded replies from all of Chris' text when usually Darren's replies were like a novel.
It's not like Chris didn't care, far from it actually. Darren was always on the back of his mind. He was his best friend. Chris could read Darren like an open book. He had known something was off about him; he just hadn't had a chance to talk to him about it yet.
Darren marched right up to Chris' table, looked him straight in the eye and said, "I'm in love with you."
Since Chris could read Darren like an open book, he could see the intensity in his eyes and the firmness in his voice. He wasn't trying to be funny or just playing around. He knew Darren was being serious. And that's what scared Chris the most.
Chris was snapped out of his thoughts when Darren pulled out the chair from the table and sat directly across from Chris. Chris knew Darren was waiting for him to reply. But what the hell could he possibly say? Darren was straight. Comfortable with everyone, yes, gay, absolutely not.
Now they were both sitting there, both starring at the table like it would get up and do some sort of fancy trick.
"You're straight."
"Does it matter?" Darren looked right into Chris' eyes.
"You just came storming into my apartment like all hell was break loose." Chris didn't even know what he was saying at this point. His thoughts were not the same as what was coming out of his mouth.
"Chris, I was going crazy all week. It was all I thought about. It all came down to the boiling point where I couldn't hold it in any longer," he thought for a moment, "I could've done it some sweet, romantic way. But, I decided against that. I didn't really want to freak you out."
Chris laughed, freak him out? Already done. Chris never thought he would ever be in this type of situation. The cliché situation where it all starts off as best friends and then they both fall in love and live happily ever after. Not saying that Chris was in love with Darren, he couldn't be, because Darren was straight, his best friend, his co-star, the one person who he trusted with his life. That doesn't mean he was in love.
Chris put his arms on the table and leaned forward, "Darren… I think you are confused. We play boyfriends on a TV show. And no matter how fictional it is, that character is still apart of us. We have that ability to think and act exactly like them. But, I'm not Kurt and you are not Blaine. I think you are letting that part of Blaine inside you take over.
Now it was Darren's turn to laugh, "Chris, I know exactly who I am. You know I am nothing like Blaine and I know you are nothing like Kurt. I am completely aware of that. You don't think that when I was debating all of this in my head, that I was just getting too into character? I have Chris. And I know it's not the Blaine inside of me."
Chris starred at Darren. Well, shit, Chris thought. That was the response he thought he was going to here. He thought that Darren would just laugh it off and say something about how Blaine is really getting to my head. Then everything would go back to normal. And Chris would be fine with that, right?
Why even me, Chris thought. What was so fucking special about him? Couldn't Darren have his sexuality crisis with another guy?
"Why me?" Chris whispered.
"What?"
"Why me, Darren. Why are you in love with me? What is so fucking special about me?" Chris looked at him, his eyes on fire.
Darren starred at him with wide eyes. Could Chris really not see? Was he so blind to himself?
"Everything." Darren looked Chris right in the eye.
"Bullshit"
"Okay. Stand up."
Chris starred at him, "What?"
Darren stood up in the middle of the floor, "Stand up, right in front of me."
Chris hesitated but complied. He stood right in front of Darren, a few steps away from him.
Darren took a step closer and starred at Chris for awhile. He finally drew a breath, "What's so special about you? Let's start from the top, your hair. You don't know this but every time you fell asleep at my house, I would always run my fingers through your hair. It's just so soft and light. And I'm pretty sure you can rock any hairstyle known to man."
Darren hesitated but reached up and brushed a piece of hair away from Chris' face. Chris's breath hitched but Darren ignored it.
"Your eyes. God, Chris. I've never met anyone with such beautiful eyes. The way they light up when you laugh or smile, the way they seem to change colors depending on your mood. When you cry, you make it look beautiful. I didn't even know that was possible, to look beautiful while you cry. But, you do. It breaks me when I see you cry. When you look at me with your eyes, I feel like you are starring into my soul or something. I love starring into your eyes but at the same time, I'm always afraid because you can see right through me. Every wall I built up instantly came crashing down the moment you looked at me."
To say the least, Chris was speechless. Thousands of thoughts were running through his mind. He was failing at making his mouth form words.
Darren continued, "Your nose. You hate it, I know. But, for some reason, I think it's adorable," Darren smiled and traced his finger down the bridge of Chris's nose, causing Chris to shiver, "Your mouth. What comes out of it. You are always so quick and funny. You know exactly what to say at any moment in time. Your singing voice is the most beautiful thing I have ever heard in my life. I could listen to it all day and not get tired of it," Darren hesitated before saying the next part, "When you kiss me. Our mouths just, fit together for some reason. I know it was Kurt kissing Blaine but I've never experienced a kiss like that before in my life. It made me feel things I've never felt. That's when I debated if it was just Blaine taking over me. But, that kiss was always in my mind. I was constantly thinking about it. That's when I decided it was definitely not Blaine."
So, I wasn't the only one thinking about the kiss more than he should have, Chris thought. Chris was breathing deeply now, his eyes never leaving Darren's.
Darren took a step closer so their breath was hot on each others. Darren brought his hand up and placed it right over Chris's heart, "Your heart, Chris, your heart. You are the most compassionate person I have ever met. I can't even begin to describe it, I won't do it any justice, but I'll try. Everything you do Chris, you do with so much heart. You do it because you love it. You do it for your fans who you love so much. You love everything around you, Your friends, your family, your fans, your life. You are so special, Chris. You are the most amazing person I have ever met in my life. You are too beautiful for words, inside and out. God, Chris. Nothing I say can't even begin to describe just how incredible you are. Why you, Chris? It was never a question to begin with. I can't believe it took me this long to figure it all out."
Chris wasn't a crier, only when he had to do scenes for Glee. But, tears were falling from his face because that was the most beautiful thing anyone has ever said to him. Darren barely noticed that Darren's hand was cupping his cheek and wiping away the tears with his thumb.
Chris had heard all of this before, he never believed it. But, the way Darren was looking at him, the way his voice sounded when he was saying all of it, did Darren really think of him like this? Could his life turn into a cliché?
He looked at Darren, really looked. This was his best friend whom he loved with every inch of his heart. Who he had shared laughs with, food, clothes, his apartment, his fucking everything with. He could see the loving gaze in Darren's eyes but, it was also mixed with worry.
"Chris, please say something, anything." Darren pleaded.
Chris snapped away from his thoughts, "Darren… I… I don't know what to say. And you tell me I always know what to say, but this time, I really don't. You are my best friend Darren, and I love you. What you said was, the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me before. I had no idea you looked at me like that. Want to know how I look at you?"
Darren's mouth curved into a small smile and nodded his head.
Chris brought his hand up and ran it through Darren's hair, "Your hair. I hate how they gel it for Blaine. I am probably going to talk to Ryan about when you do your transfer to McKinely, to stop putting gel in your hair. I love your curls. They are so soft."
Darren sighed and Chris's touch. No hair gel would be nice as long as Kurt got to run his fingers through Blaine's hair, Darren thought.
Chris continued, "Your mouth. I always had to hold back when they asked me if you were a good kisser because I wanted to go on and on about how an amazing kisser you were. You were right about our mouths fitting together because they do. And I'll admit, I thought about that kiss way more than I should of," Chris laughed a little, "When you get into acting mode and talk about your job. You are one of the most professional people I have ever worked with. When you talk about how much you love your fans, because you do, so much. Your singing voice is amazing, beautiful, wonderful. I am guilty to have listening to it a lot. When you sang 'Somewhere Only We Know' God, Darren, it was so beautiful. The emotion coming from your voice, it is probably one of my most played songs on my iPod by now." Chris smiled as a blush crept onto his face.
Chris put a hand over Darren's heart, "Your heart, Darren. You have an amazing heart. You are an amazing person, Dare, all around. I love how you aren't into labels, you are so excepting of everyone. I love that you are like a little kid at heart, your love for Disney is downright adorable. I can go on and on about what an amazing person you are, Darren, because you truly are. You always try to put yourself down but there's a reason why everyone loves you so much. You are such a nice person; you are funny, smart, charming, dare I say, dapper. Nothing I can say can do you any justice. I'm trying to form words to describe you but I'm failing because what you just said to me is making me say all the wrong things. You do that to me, Darren. You make me speechless when I always know what to say. I guess what I am trying to say is, you are not like anyone I have ever met."
Darren's eyes at this point where misted over. Chris may have been tripping over his words but it was the most amazing thing he has ever heard because it came from Chris. It was Chris' words.
"Chris… That was amazing because it came from you. It wasn't all the wrong things, not at all," Darren paused, "But, what are you saying Chris? Does… does this mean that you feel the same?"
Chris pursed his lips, "Darren, the reason why I had never considered liking you in that way before was because I couldn't like you in that way. You said you were straight so obviously, I put it out of my mind. But, I think it's different now. You mean so much to me, Dare, you are my best friend. I know you say I can see right through you, but you can see right through me just as much. Give me the time, Darren, and I think I can fall in love with you."
Darren's face broke out into a wide grin, "I'll give you all the time you need, Chris."
Darren reached out to Chris and out his hand on the back of his neck and pulled him into a sweet, but passionate kiss. This kiss was different because it was Darren kissing Chris, not Blaine kissing Kurt. It was more slow, both discovering each other not as their characters.
Chris was more aware of Darren now, his fingers stocking the back of his neck, his other hand caressing cheek, his thumb ghosting along his jaw line. This was Darren. His best friend. Chris knew in that moment that it wouldn't be long until he fell in love with Darren completely.
Darren couldn't have been more pleased with how everything turned out. He took the chance of his life with telling Chris his true feelings. He knew Chris wasn't in love with yet, but he had a good feeling about this. Chris was his best friend after all, they would figure it out, they always did.
"So, what does this make me, the only exception?" Chris smiled as they pulled away.
Darren smiled softly, "It was never about if the person I fell in love with was a girl or guy. It's never been about that. It's just you Chris, just you."
This time, Chris pulled them into another sweet, but short kiss.
"Just you." Chris whispered.