Notes: A very unlikely AU, all things considered. Why? Because it's been my experience that quite a few more of us guys are complete and total delinquents, so what are the chances Baby Beel would meet even a halfway suitable woman first?

Summary: Aoi Kunieda has a problem: she's been tricked into caring for the future Demon King. But it gets worse: said Demon King's presence is inexplicably attracting a lot of unwanted male attention toward Red Tail. Though as it turns out, that may not exactly be a bad thing.

Mother Infernal

A Beelzebub Fanfic Series by

Nate Grey (xman0123-at-aol-dot-com)

Chapter 1: I Was Handed the Demon King

There was precious little left in the world that could surprise Oga Misaki. As a former leader of Red Tail (a local social/peacekeeping group that had quite a bit in common with an all-female gang), she had been in virtually every kind of fight possible (including one where she'd used an actual kitchen sink with brutal efficiency), and humans were incredibly imaginative when it came time to hit someone with something. In all her adventures, however, Misaki had never once encountered an actual demon, and that, more than anything else, was what allowed her to be completely blindsided during a simple trip to the grocery store.

Misaki was actually happy to do most of her family's shopping: they lived in an arguably decent neighborhood (partially thanks to her), but it was safer than either of her parents walking around in broad daylight. Her little brother Tatsumi certainly could have managed the shopping, though only if they didn't mind using badly damaged groceries for the rest of the week (he had raw talent, to be sure, but about as much control as an eighteen wheeler truck careening off of an overpass). If nothing else, Misaki's reputation meant that the only people likely to bother her were the busybody old ladies up the street, who were constantly asking if she had a boyfriend or any plans to marry soon (of which she thankfully had neither).

Still, all that really meant was that nobody in their right mind with would mess with her.

The man that she encountered that fateful day certainly did not fit that description.

Misaki wasn't able to pick out many details about him: he was running at the time, so she only really caught a glimpse of him. She knew he was tall, muscular, and, for no reason that she could figure, distractingly shiny. More importantly, he was being chased by some local thugs (Misaki plainly heard one shout, "Get him! Nobody blows kisses at Teimo Tech and lives to tell about it!"). Most notably, he was good with magic tricks, particularly pulling rabbits out of hats. At least, she assumed he was: Misaki had only been carrying a bag of groceries when she first spotted him, and yet once he vanished around the corner, followed closely by an angry gang of thugs, Misaki was holding the grocery bag and a naked baby boy.

This last part did not register until Misaki felt what was undeniably a warm, naked rear-end on her arm. All things considered, if it had belonged to anything but a baby, she might have had to hurt someone badly. Instead, she took a deep breath, shook her head, and smiled in what she hoped was a pleasant manner (she had been told by friends that her smiles tended to border on imposing or downright scary at times). "Hey, little guy. What's your name?" she asked.

The green-haired baby looked up at her, apparently decided that she was unworthy of a response, and promptly turned away, even crossing his pudgy little arms over his chest and looking put out.

Misaki frowned, admirably managing the tic over her left eye. "Remind me to punch your dad's nose in if I ever catch up to him."

For no reason that she could understand, the baby perked up at once and began clinging to her arm, babbling excitedly. He was much cuter when happy, though she supposed that applied to most babies.

Perhaps if Misaki had been any other young woman, such a sight might have made her heart turn over, and awakened until then hidden maternal instincts. But all it really did was remind her that she didn't particularly want a baby right now, had no idea how to take care of one, and definitely didn't want to take one home to her easily-excited parents. Still, she didn't feel right trying to return to him to what was clearly a deadbeat dad, so that really only left finding someone else to take care of him as an option. On the other hand, some of the groceries would no doubt spoil if she stopped to do that. There was really only one thing left to do.

Furuichi Takayuki had never claimed to be a saint. Quite the opposite, in fact: his porn collection was rumored to be the stuff of legend, and if he pressed, he would be forced to admit that he had, at some point, fantasized about virtually every female outside of his family that he'd met in recent years. He would gladly die before ever admitting that included Misaki, but it was still true. So when she barged into his room late that afternoon with a bag of groceries and a baby, his first thought was that maybe he was dreaming. The dream ended as soon as she opened her mouth.

"Hey, perv. Go take these to my house or you're dead," she ordered, shoving the bag of groceries at him.

Furuichi blinked very slowly, and once it became clear that she was serious, asked, "What?"

Misaki was understandably short on time and patience, so she hit him in the mouth. "Do I need to repeat myself?"

"NO!" Furuichi howled from the floor, doing his best to keep his mouth from spewing blood on the grocery bag.

"Good. I'm using your phone, too," Misaki added, selecting a relatively clean spot on the bed and sitting in it.

It was then that Furuichi really noticed the baby on her arm. He was going to ask about it, but then Misaki noticed him noticing, Furuichi noticed her noticing him noticing, and he made himself scarce before she decided to remind him of her previous order with another punch to the mouth.

Misaki picked up the phone on Furuichi's nightstand and paused. She had plenty of friends, but none that she really felt comfortable forcing a baby on (not if she wanted to keep them as friends, anyway). That aside, she was starting to grow fond of the little guy, and wanted him to have a decent foster home.

Around that time, Misaki noticed that there was someone peering at her from Furuichi's window. The peeping tom was female, blond, green-eyed, and staring at Misaki as if she were a very interesting bug.

"You've got two seconds to come in, or my first call is to the cops," Misaki demanded. There were not many people that could clutch a baby under one arm while waving their free fist threateningly, but Misaki was one of them.

"I assure you that would be both unnessecary and pointless," the young woman said as she opened the window and stepped in, standing on Furuichi's desk as if it were a soapbox. "I have come merely to collect my charge."

Misaki scowled at her. "I'd know if I owed you money, sister, and I've never seen you before."

The woman sighed. "I meant 'charge' as in a person entrusted to my care." When that got no response, she pointed at the baby. "Him, in other words."

Misaki immediately set the baby behind her on the bed. "Oh, yeah? Give me one good reason why I shouldn't skin you alive for leaving him with that freak!"

"If you are referring to Arandron, I assure you he is quite capable despite all appearances to the contrary. The child was delivered to you safely, was he not?"

Misaki had to reluctantly admit that was true. In fact, what she had first taken for the child being abandoned on her arm could very well have been a desperate method to keep him safe from the thugs pursuing his "father" at the time. It just really hadn't seem that way at the time, from her perspective.

"At any rate," the woman continued, "I am here to collect the child and relieve you of any responsibilities related to him."

"You think I'm going to hand my kid over to some stranger that looks like she just stepped out of a gothic novel?" Misaki asked with a smirk.

The woman frowned at her, ignoring the insult only in the interest of saving time. "He is not yours."

"The fact that he's been hanging on my arm since I found him says different. Either way, he's not going anywhere with you until you answer some questions. Starting with your name, why you're dressed like that, and what makes you think you have any claim on this kid."

Hildegarde was generally a very patient demon maid. She had to be: demon lords were known for being enormous annoyances to their subordinates, and the ones she served were no exception. In the past twenty-four hours, she had been ordered to the human world with no preparation, and far worse, her young charge had decided to leave, ahead of schedule, without her. She could not blame Arandron for his cooperation: refusing a direct order from the young master (young as he was) was a very bad idea. At the very least, he seemed to have handed the young master off to a capable (though not suitable) temporary parent.

But it was becoming very obvious that the parent, whoever she was, took her duties very seriously. She could not really be faulted for that (at any other time, Hildegarde might have even applauded the effort), but the longer the young master remained in the human world without a decent parental figure, the more at risk he would become. Time was of the essence, and Hildegarde was not feeling particularly friendly in the first place. Rude as it was, she was only seconds away from knocking the mother out and simply taking the young master back.

And then the young master took in her intention with a glance, and scowled deeply. It was not even his typcial scowl, but his "You-Have-Displeased-Me-Greatly" scowl, which had not been directed at Hildegarde for quite some time. She froze at once, not wanting to anger him further. Clearly, he did not approve of violence being used against his new, temporary mother. It was odd that he had become fond of her so quickly, especially considering that he had not made a formal bond with her, and clearly had no plans to.

"Well?" the mother snapped. "I'm waiting!"

Hildegarde sighed deeply. "I am Hildegarde, demon maid to Kaiser de Emperana Beelzebub IV, future Demon Lord. This is typical dress for demon maids of the Royal Family. My entire existence is devoted to the young master's well-being, and-"

The mother, having been yawning for the past several seconds, grunted loudly. "So you're his maid Hilda, and his name's Beel?" she asked, having clearly missed most of the introduction. "I guess that makes sense, but I don't see any proof. Does he even know you?"

Hilda paled. Of course the young master knew her, but whether he chose to acknowledge that was another matter entirely, and depended on his current mood. Fortunately, he seemed to be in a forgiving mood: when the mother held him out to inspect Hilda, he reached out and grasped at her face with his pudgy hands, before making a spirited grab at her breasts, reminding them both that he was probably hungry by now.

Hilda immediately began to readjust and open the front of her dress, much to the mother's shock. "Forgive me, young master, but I did not have time to prepare your preferred meal of hydra milk. I hope my own will serve as a suitable substitute."

Hilda was secretly pleased when the young master lurched out of his mother's arms and latched onto her breast, sucking industriously. This went on for several minutes, until, with a hearty belch, the young master raised his head...

...and immediately climbed back into the mother's arms.

Hilda was stunned. The young master had always preferred to be rocked to sleep in her arms after a meal. That he had apparently grown out of this habit in less than a day was both shocking and painful to her. She admirably supressed the very strong urge to attack the mother, recalling the young master's reaction the first time she'd tried it.

"Uh, not saying it bothers me much, but you can put that away now, I think," the mother muttered, gesturing vaguely at Hilda's chest.

Blinking slowly, Hilda re-secured her dress and cleared her throat. "May I know the name of the parent the young master has chosen for the time being?"

"Oga Misaki. And on that much we agree: there's no way I can keep him past today."

"Then we must work quickly. The young master requires a strong and ruthless caretaker to fully unleash his potential."

Misaki stared at her in shock. "Um, why?"

Hilda stared back. "He is the future Demon Lord."

"Wait, when did that happen?"

Hilda sighed. "That is the whole reason he was sent to the human world." Since Misaki was only a temporary parent, Hilda figured it would be best to leave out the whole "destroy the human population" aspect of the trip. "If you are willing to help, then we must begin now. Otherwise, surrender the young master to me at once." She extended her arms, doing her best to ignore the way that the young master turned away and tried to climb higher into Misaki's arms.

"Hush, Beel-chan, it's okay," Misaki cooed, bouncing him gently until he calmed down. She eyed Hilda warily. "You said future Demon Lord. That means he's got real parents somewhere, right? Why isn't he with them?"

"I was ordered by his father to accompany the young master here," Hilda replied. "You do not need to concern yourself with him. This is the way that things are done in our world. All you should worry about is finding the young master a suitable parent."

"And do you have any proof that he's a demon? I haven't seen any signs so far."

Hilda sighed. "Very well. Please put the young master down and step away."

Misaki glared at her. "No way."

"Then remember that I did warn you. I will now try to remove him. Please observe carefully." Hilda stepped closer and grasped the baby's legs. "Forgive me, young master, but this is necessary."

He responded the way that Hilda expected. At first, he merely began to fuss and kick at her, but with continued tugging, he teared up, let out an ear-splitting wail, and then caused both women to scream in pain as he unleashed a powerful electrical shock. Hilda hung on for a few seconds just to prove her point, and then let go. The shock stopped at once, and Misaki stood there smoldering, with the young master whimpering in her arms.

"...he's a demon," Misaki said faintly.

"Yes," Hilda agreed.

Misaki blinked slowly. "And so are you?"

"Yes."

"And the weird guy I saw earlier?"

"Yes."

"Anyone else I should know about?"

"No."

Misaki took a deep breath. "Okay. I assume we're ignoring the fact that a human would have no idea how to raise a demon?"

"I am here to ensure that the most suitable parent has all the additional information they require to look after the young master."

"And we agree that I'm not... suitable?"

Hilda nodded. "The young master appears more than satisfied with you for the time being, but for your own safety and his, we must find another parent soon."

"I have an idea of someone who could either be his parent, or find a more suitable one quickly," Misaki offered, "but we'd have to go to my house first. It's not far from here."

"That is acceptable," Hilda replied. "I will accompany you."

"Good idea," Misaki agreed. "Then I can tell my family that he's your baby and not look like a total liar."

Passing Beel off as Hilda's son started off a bit harder than Misaki had thought. For one thing, despite being familiar with Hilda, he did not seem to want to be held by her, or anyone else that was not Misaki, for very long. Misaki finally decided to simply hold him herself, not wanting to risk another light show that her parents would either see or hear. If her parents still didn't believe Beel was Hilda's son, she planned on reminding them that she herself had never been pregnant, or away from home for nine months straight. She was simply going to introduce Hilda as a friend and hope for the best.

But the preparation was totally unnessecary: not only did her parents believe that Beel was Hilda's baby, they seemed to need to believe it in order to maintain their sanity. Her father kept checking his insurance rates as if they were on the rise, while her mother kept bursting into tears at odd moments and hugging Misaki for no reason. The only one who did not seem to buy the story was Tatsumi, and he was far more concerned that Beel be kept far away from him. Which was odd, since Beel kept trying to jump on Tatsumi's back. Hilda assured her that this was either due to a side effect of gas, or the fact that Tatsumi greatly resembled an oni from behind (which Misaki had been saying for years). At any rate, they were both convinced that Tatsumi would make a horrible parent, and kept Beel far away from him the entire time. This made Beel start to fuss, but he quieted down once Misaki gave him a popsicle.

Once Misaki had gotten Hilda and Beel up to her room, she dug through her closet until she found a certain white coat, which in turn had a certain phone number tucked away in a pocket. It hadn't been used in a while, and she had no idea if it was still any good, but it was her only real option. Misaki sat next to Hilda on the bed and dialed the number into her cellphone, smiling faintly as she watched Beel sleep peacefully between them.

The phone was answered on the third ring. "Ōmori," said a weary but rough voice.

Misaki bit her lip. "Hey, Nene-chan. This is-"

"Misaki nee-san!" the younger girl blurted out, all traces of fatigue gone from her tone at once. "How are you?"

"Uh, I'm okay. Did-"

"If there's anything I can do for you, just let me know!" Nene gushed.

Misaki paused. "I take it that means you're still with Red Tail?"

"Yes, of course! You must want our leader, right? I'll go get-"

"No, no, there's no need for that," Misaki said quickly. "Well, I hope not. Is there any chance I could meet with her today?"

"Yes, right away!" Nene cried. "We've just returned to town, and she will be free to meet you at 2 AM tomorrow morning!"

This seemed like an odd time to Misaki. "Um, are you sure about that?"

"I'm sure she will make an exception for you, Misaki nee-san!"

Misaki had dealt with Nene's eagerness before, and wasn't sure the current leader would share the enthusiasm. "Let me see if I have this right. You're going to tell your leader to meet me at 2 A.M., and you're not at all concerned that she might be upset about it?"

"She's always up at that time, Misaki nee-san! Her baby brother wakes up around 1:30 A.M. every night, and he won't go back to sleep for anyone but her!"

Misaki grinned. "Oh, great. In that case, go ahead and set it up, Nene-chan."

Nene excitedly gave Misaki the location and hung up, likely to inform her leader that very second.

"So? How did it go?" Hilda asked.

"We're going to meet the potential mother in a couple of hours," Misaki replied. "If she isn't suitable, someone in her group likely will be. And if they're not, she'll attract one. She's that strong."

"Very well," Hilda said. "The young master and I appreciate your cooperation in this manner. I will see to it that you are well compensated for your trouble."

"What, you mean money?" Misaki asked. "I don't care about that. Just... promise me you'll keep a closer eye on him, okay? If I can't be around to check on him, I'd at least like to think he won't end up in another chase."

"I give you my word that I will kill anyone who pursues him," Hilda answered solemnly.

Misaki stared at her in disbelief. "...that's not even close to what I meant."

"You had better be right about this, Nene," Kunieda Aoi said for the third time as she paced in front of the the temple steps. "It's true that I was going to be up anyway, but you know I don't like to conduct business around Kōta."

"It'll be fine, Aoi nee-san!" Nene assured her. "I've only met her once in person, but Misaki nee-san embodies our ideals more than anyone I've ever met! She would never harm your little brother. I hear she has one of her own, though I've never met him. Besides, you left Kōta with Chiaki so your hands would be free, just in case. I'm sure there's nothing to worry about."

Aoi sighed and shook her head. "But you don't even know why she wants to meet with me. Suppose it's a hostile takeover? From the stories I heard, she could do it by herself if she really wanted to."

"I can't believe she would ever do that!"

"Why, because of some secret moral code she has?"

"No, because it makes no sense! She would never call an enemy and tell them she was coming. I'm sure she would prefer to see the looks of shocked surprise on their faces right before she destroyed them. So her calling us first was a good thing!"

Aoi stared at Nene, wondering if she was kidding, but she looked perfectly serious. She was about to smack some sense into Nene when she noticed two people approaching them. Misaki was easily recognized; she had chosen to wear her Red Tail coat for that very purpose. Aoi wasn't sure what to make of what looked like a gothic maid with her, but had every intention of asking.

Misaki and the maid stopped a respectful distance away, clearly reading the suspicion in Aoi's eyes. "Thanks for doing this, Nene-chan. I wouldn't have called if this weren't really important."

"It was no trouble at all, Misaki nee-san!" Nene replied, bowing deeply.

"So what did you need?" Aoi asked bluntly.

"It might be easier to explain if I just show you," Misaki sighed, opening her coat.

Aoi immediately tensed, and was indeed completely unprepared for the concealed weapon that greeted her. "A baby?"

"What did you think it would be, a bomb?"

Aoi kept her mouth shut, as that was exactly what she'd been thinking.

"Anyway, to make a long story short, I found him, but I can't take care of him. He has... certain needs that I can't meet, but that I think you could, Kunieda." Misaki gestured to the maid. "This is Hilda, his nanny. She'll tell you everything you need to know, but what he really needs is a full-time parent."

Aoi wanted to tell Misaki that she was crazy, and that there was no way they were going to take in some strange baby off the street. That's what she wanted to say, at least. But as a part-time mother figure herself, all Aoi could think to say was, "What's his name?"

Misaki grinned and came closer, holding the baby up to her. "Look, Beel-chan. This is my friend Aoi. What do you think of her?"

The baby boy stared at Aoi intently for a moment. With no warning, he leaped into her arms, tucked his head under her chin, and immediately fell asleep.

"It would seem the young master approves of you as his mother," Hilda reported coolly. "The transfer is a success."

This only reinforced the bomb theory in Aoi's mind, for some reason, but she laced her arms under the baby's bottom without protest. "Fine. We'll look after him. Anything else?"

Misaki opened her mouth, feeling this would be an excellent time to warn her about the electrical shocks. But Hilda chose that moment to cut across her and say, "I will provide you with any additional information as needed." Everyone stared at her, no doubt awaiting some of the aforementioned information, but Hilda just stared at them blankly until Aoi got tired of waiting.

"I guess that's it, then." Aoi nodded to Misaki. "It was an honor to meet you, Misaki-san. Please feel free stop by and visit him anytime." Aoi had just started to turn away when Misaki's arm slipped around her shoulders.

"In that case, let's go!" Misaki said cheerfully, grinning at her. "I would like to see where the little guy will be sleeping. You barely even flinched at the thought of having to look after a baby, so you must be pretty confident about it. So I'm assuming you already have everything you need to take care of an extra baby, and wouldn't mind showing a friend your setup, right?"

"I... suppose it's okay," Aoi murmured, still somewhat uncomfortable with all this. She no longer really considered Misaki a threat, but she couldn't ignore the idea that somehow, someway, she was being played for a fool. "Yes, it should be fine, as long as we don't disturb my grandfather," Aoi added, a little more confidently. "My little brother will be excited to finally have a playmate his own age." She turned to Nene and held Beel out to her. "Nene, why don't you introduce him to Kōta while I give Misaki-san a tour?"

"Of course, Aoi nee-san," Nene responded at once, reaching to take the baby.

Beel's eyes snapped open at once.

Misaki and Hilda dove aside, the resulting electrical burst just missing them.

Once the light faded, Aoi and Nene were revealed, looking particularly stunned and somewhat singed. Safely still in Aoi's arms, Beel immediately went back to sleep.

"You're sure we shouldn't have mentioned that before?" Misaki muttered to Hilda.

"Experience is the best teacher," Hilda insisted.

Tanimura Chiaki was in the middle of babysitting Aoi's baby brother when a brilliant light suddenly lit up the night sky outside the window. She immediately gathered Kōta in her arms and held him up so he could watch. "Look, Kōta-chan. Fireworks," Chiaki told him in a hushed tone.

Kōta cooed excitedly and clapped his hands.

A few hours later, Aoi was carefully bathing Beel and herself (the smell of fried hair had finally washed out). At the time, she was somewhat self conscious: Beel had eyes for no one but Hilda whenever he got hungry, which had been a major blow to Aoi's pride as a woman. Indeed, even while Aoi was naked, Beel seemed more interested in the red rubber ducky that Chiaki had given him than in Aoi's breasts.

Aoi was not so depressed that she failed to notice the new addition to her body, though: after scrubbing away what she first mistook for a particularly thick patch of burned skin on her arm, she revealed a bright red tattoo that had certainly never been there before. No amount of scrubbing could remove it, and the harder she tried, the more upset Beel became (she mistakenly assumed that he thought she was hurting herself), so she finally gave up.

Even after she was in bed, with Beel sleeping soundly beside her, Aoi kept staring at the tattoo, wondering how and when it had gotten there, and what it could possibly mean.

Next Chapter: The Tattoo from Hell is Highly Contagious

Aoi's mysterious tattoo next appears on Nene, immediately drawing the attention of Tōjō Hidetora, who challenges her to a fight. Nene's unexpected response, however, leads to the loss of Tōjō's latest job and, unexpectedly, the first male member of Red Tail.

Endnotes:

To be clear, Hilda is described as a wet nurse more than once, so frankly, I find it more odd that she hasn't breastfed on-screen/in-panel more often than not. And I'm not even going to get into the implications of Beel preferring the milk of a male hydra over Hilda's.

I think it's pretty much canon now that Beel likes Aoi, likely for reasons other than her being strong, though I'm sure that probably factors in somewhere.