Comedies aren't popular in fanfiction, I know, but I love writing them and the Bonanza comedies are easily some of my favorite eps. Of course this story still has its share of drama, adventure, and self-discovery, because that's what I write, but in writing this I got to watch A Knight to Remember, The Wooing of Abigail Jones, The Frenchman, The Dowery, Old Sheba, Ponderosa Matador and many others I can't think of right now over and over for inspiration. After I finish posting I think I'll go watch them again.

Love's Labours

by

Lissa B.

November 2000

This story is dedicated to Alex Sharp, with many thanks for some of my favorite and fondest Bonanza memories. Special thanks to my long-suffering (and I do mean LONG-suffering!) betas: Gus Downey, Jan McDonald and Debby Warren.

Chapter 1: Much Ado About Everything

"O! What men dare do! What men may do! What men daily do not knowing what they do!"

IV, i, 35

"It's not what you think..." began Joe Cartwright ingenuously, proffering his most innocent, boyish smile.

His brother shifted his weight to his hip and studied him through suddenly narrowed eyes. "Good. Glad to hear it. Just to be clear, then. What do I think?"

Joe cleared his throat, glancing at his middle brother for support, but Hoss was gazing with profound intensity at some point across the room. The boyish smile faded just a smidge.

"You think we're goofing off." The tone was wounded and faintly reproachful.

His oldest brother raised his brows and nodded approvingly. "Very good. That's exactly what I think." He pulled out one of the capacious leather chairs facing the desk where Joe and Hoss were seated and made himself comfortable. "Why don't you clear up that little misconception for me?" He leaned forward expectantly and pinned Joe with a look. "What is it that you are doing?"

Joe opened his mouth to give a flip response, but it withered under the sardonic beam of his brother's penetrating gaze. "Fixing that line of north fence," he answered lamely.

"Really." Adam let his eyes drift slowly around the great room with pointed thoughtfulness. "From here."

Despite his intention to remain unflustered, Joe felt his ears redden.

"Well, that's very ingenious of you. Considering that stretch of fence is over an hour's ride away. How are you managing that, did you say?"

Joe stuck out his lower lip, all pretense of charm gone. What was the point. It never worked on Adam anyway. He was eighteen years old, for Pete's sake - how was it that his eldest brother always made him feel like he was six?

He glanced at Hoss again, but Hoss's brow was furrowed as though he were working out a very tough problem deep within his brain. Joe glared at him. A lot of help he was.

"We were just taking a break," he mumbled finally.

"A break," repeated Adam slowly. "You rode all the way back here to take a break and then planned on riding all the way back out there to finish?"

"Now, it ain't like that at all, Adam," Hoss interjected hastily. "That'd-a been plumb loco! We ain't actually made our way to that line a fence yet - we came here straight from fetching supplies in town." The moment he finished it occurred to Hoss that the words weren't likely to have the soothing effect he'd been angling for when he'd started.

His brother's smoldering expression told him that he was not mistaken.

"Are you telling me," began Adam with dangerous calm, "that you have not even begun the work on that fence yet? That, in fact, you have not even been anywhere near it?"

Hoss winced at his tone and offered a weak smile. "Adam, that's where we was goin' the very next thing."

Adam opened his mouth to answer, closed it abruptly, pushing himself explosively to his feet.

For a second both Hoss and Joe flinched expectantly, but he moved away from them to take a turn around the room, swung back to face them, pointing his finger for emphasis, then dropped his finger and waved his hand dismissively. He turned his back to them for a long moment, rubbing his hand over his face while Hoss and Joe held their breath. When he finally turned back his expression was that of a man steeled for the worst.

"All right," he said slowly, enunciating meticulously. "Slowly and clearly. Exactly what have you two been doing?"

Hoss eyed him cautiously, but Joe jumped in eagerly. "Adam, you're gonna to love this. Hoss and me had a great idea. We've all been working hard at the branding, right?"

"Almost made ourselves crazy with it," Hoss chimed in.

"Well, we were thinking - what if we gave a party - to thank all the men - you know - a big party and invited - oh - a whole bunch of people - "

"That's right, Adam," Hoss took it up. "We could have music and dancing…and invite - well - a whole bunch o' people."

Adam looked puzzled and wary. "A party," he repeated slowly.

Joe bobbed his head for emphasis. "That's right, Adam - the best darn party this town has ever seen. We could invite - well - just all kinds of people - "

"All kinds of people," Hoss echoed enthusiastically.

"Exactly," agreed Joe. "All kinds."

Adam held up a hand. "All kinds of people. I see. You wouldn't, by any chance, have anyone special in mind?"

Hoss reddened. "Well…now…" he began stupidly, glancing at Joe.

Joe glared at him and took over quickly, trying to summon a nonchalant smile and succeeding only in looking a little queasy. "Well, now, Adam - nobody special. You know. The men. Neighbors. Friends. Townspeople. Neighbors."

"Uh - huh." Adam nodded slowly. "Let me just take a wild leap in the dark - " he held up a hand again as Hoss and Joe opened their mouths to protest. "Please. Don't embarrass yourselves. If there's someone - or, as I'm assuming, two someones, you have a burning desire to impress, I'm sure Pa'll have no objection to your little party. But for now, we have plenty to occupy us and I don't want to find you two goofing off again, understood?"

Hoss and Joe exchanged a cautious glance.

Hoss cleared his throat. "Uh - Adam - we was athinkin' ta have it afore Pa came back."

Adam raised his eyebrows. "Before."

Joe could see the party disappearing before his very eyes and pushed a little. "We've had parties before without Pa here."

"Of course we have, occasionally, but at least then we've had Hop Sing. What were you planning to do about food?"

For a second both Hoss and Joe looked nonplussed. With beautiful visions of dancing and strolls in the moonlight floating before their eyes they had completely forgotten about a measly detail like food.

Adam smiled a little, comprehendingly. Hoss must really have it bad for somebody to overlook a thing like that.

"Miss Mamie!" said Joe suddenly. "Miss Mamie can always use the extra cash and she cooks great! We can ask her to prepare stuff and bring it here the day of the party!"

"You're going to haul it all the way from town? No telling what kind of shape it will be in by the time it gets here."

"Hop Sing's cousin!" interjected Hoss hopefully. "I'll bet Hop Sing's cousin will come out and cook fer us!"

Adam shook his head as though to clear it. He couldn't believe he was getting sucked into this when they had so much to do. "All right. And where are we going to get the money for this party?"

Both Hoss and Joe stared at him.

Joe shrugged. "Well, from the safe. Where else?"

Adam leaned back against the dining room table. "No, you don't. That money is for operating expenses and emergencies and has to last us until Pa returns."

"Oh, come on, Adam - you have power of attorney. You could get a draft from the bank if we had an emergency."

"I could, but I won't. Believe it or not, we operate on a budget and I'm not going to throw it all out of whack because you two have a couple of girls you want to impress. Use your own money."

"But I'm broke!" Joe protested, his voice rising.

Adam was unmoved. "Then take her for a walk or a ride or something else that's free. Just don't do it until after the branding's done."

There was a long, pregnant silence.

Adam eyed them suspiciously. "What now."

Hoss cleared his throat. "We was all set on Friday night, Adam."

"Friday night!" Adam stood up straight. "How could you possibly have a party Friday night? We have to show those horses to that Cavalry buyer early Saturday morning!" Their blank faces showed him clearly that they'd forgotten all about it. Adam felt his temper rise. "Look, this is an important deal for the Ponderosa. I need you both awake and alert Saturday morning. And we need the branding done before that. Not that all the branding in the world is going to mean much if our fences are all lying around in disrepair."

Hoss thrust out his lower lip. "Dadburn it, Adam, we've been working like dogs. Seems we should be able to take it a little easy with Pa away."

Adam ground his teeth. "The idea, Hoss, is for things to run just as if Pa were here when he's gone, not to let everything slide until he gets back."

Joe frowned. "I'm with Hoss. We've earned a little break and I say we take it."

Adam's cold look silenced him.

He finally broke the uncomfortable pause that followed, speaking with measured care. "Well, given the fact that the north fence is still not fixed and you two have spent God only knows how many hours in town this morning and then God only knows how many hours here, planning your party, I'd say you've had your break."

Both Hoss and Joe winced involuntarily. They hated it when he used that particular voice.

"I hope you both enjoyed it, because here's what we're going to do now.

I'm going to find a couple of men and send them to finish that fence you haven't gotten to and you two are going to the branding site and move things along there. And then this evening we're going to talk about what's left to do in branding and what else we need to do to get ready for this sale and we're going to forget about everything else until those things are taken care of! Am I clear?"

Joe scowled and muttered something.

Adam fixed his gaze on him. "Did you say something?" he asked with deceptive gentleness.

Joe was not ready to back down yet. "I said you treat us like kids!" he burst out.

Adam folded his arms. "And can you think of any reason why that might be?"

Joe's cheeks flamed. "I just think we'd do a lot better if you let us do things in our own way and our own time!"

Adam looked at him. "Like today."

"Yeah, like today! We would have gotten it done, Adam."

"Fine. Eventually. And do you think you would have gotten anything else done? And what about the horse sale? What do you think you would have accomplished toward that, given that apparently you'd forgotten all about it?"

Hoss and Joe looked at each other, then away.

Adam nodded. "Right. There's too much work to keep a spread as large and varied as ours running, Joe, for anybody to do what needs to be done in their own time. It needs to be done in the ranch's time. A little delay, a little carelessness and everything can unravel before your eyes. Now, I need you both at the branding pits - an hour ago - do you think you can oblige me or is that something you need to do in your own way and time?"

Hoss shrugged and nodded reluctantly.

"Good."

"Adam!" the door flew open and one the ranch hands, Clyde Decker, stood in the doorway, a little out of breath. "Sorry to barge in, sir, but I saw your horse tied outside. That bridge finally gave way over Hammond Crick."

Adam reached for his hat. "Anybody hurt?"

Clyde shook his head. "No, sir. Got two horses in though - one probably have to be put down. Got the other out okay, but don't think we can put off repairs any longer. Where you want me to pull somebody from?"

Adam closed his eyes for a minute and sighed. "Nowhere," he said at last. "I'll go."

Clyde looked doubtful. "Thought you were gonna help with the brandin'. Could sure use an extra set of hands there. Was thinkin' I could pull Lem offen breakin' them horses…"

Adam shook his head. "No, I need to pull Lem to fix that north fence. I'll need to send somebody with him as it is. I'll go myself."

Clyde opened his mouth to say he thought Joe and Hoss were taking care of the north fence, then closed it abruptly as he caught sight of their faces. "Yessir," he said doubtfully. "Sure do hate to lose the pair of hands with the branding, though."

"You won't be." Adam was pulling on his gloves. "Hoss and Joe will be joining you at the branding pits." He skewered them with a glance. "Won't you?"

They both shuffled their feet and nodded sullenly.

"Good. I'll see you two at supper."

Hoss scrunched his face into a frown. "Hey, with no Hop Sing, who's gonna fix supper tonight?"

Adam smiled sweetly. "I have no idea. Why don't you two work that out. In your own way and time, of course."

Joe scuffed at the floor with his boot toe. "Adam, don't you ever get tired of telling people what to do?" he asked bitterly.

Adam gazed back at him, something in his expression that Joe hadn't expected. "Yeah, Joe," he said at last. "I really do."

Joe and Hoss watched in silence as he followed Clyde out the door, shutting it a little more sharply than necessary behind him.

Hoss swallowed, wrinkling his forehead. "Sure is mad," he said glumly, breaking the long silence that followed.

Joe nodded soberly. "Yeah. But not nearly as mad as he's gonna be when he finds out we already invited everybody."

TBC