Just Another Day.

I start my day off like anyone else would, doing my job. I have tons of very important jobs in my masters' house, but my favorite is waking them up in the morning. There's usually one of three situations that I'm in during the morning. I'm either lying at the foot of the bed with them, making my job much easier, lying on the floor in their bedroom because my tall master got annoyed with me and pushed me off the bed (I don't think he likes me very much), or I'm stuck outside their bedroom door when the tall master gets really angry with me and throws me out. Today was one of the better days, where I was on the bed, snuggled up to my short master's feet.

That's how I remember my two masters: tall and short. Short master is nice. He gives me snacks, takes me for walks, and plays with me in the backyard. Tall master usually is the one to feed me, but besides that he doesn't deal with me very much unless he's yelling at me for playing with the pillows or sleeping on one of his soft coats that happened to end up on the floor.

I crept up the long bed towards short master's face. He always slept with his face buried in tall master's shoulder, which made it hard for me to decide how to wake him up. I decided on licking his ear. That usually does the trick.

"Kurt, stop it," he mumbled, pulling the comforter over his head. Great, now that means I'll have to wake tall master up first. Standing on short master's head, I start licking tall master's forehead.

"Ah!" he yelled, sitting up. The force from him sitting up made me fall over onto his lap. "Blaine! Your stupid dog licked my face!" Tall master picked me up and dropped me onto the floor. I could hear short master mumbling something about that being something dogs do, which is very true, to which tall master scoffed and climbed out of bed.

Tall master walked out of the bedroom and into the kitchen, which means I'm getting fed! This is, of course, following the normal schedule, since short master doesn't wake up as early as tall master does. Tall master picked up my bowls, filled them up, and mumbled something about wishing he had a turtle.

I usually only get to eat for a little bit inside before tall master puts me outside with my food and water. I love outside! There are so many sounds and things to smell, even though the stupid squirrels won't stay off of my yard. I always teach them a lesson every morning and chase them down like the hoodlums they are, barking at them to go away.

"Wallace! Cut it out!" Tall master usually yells out the door when I start shooing away the squirrels. Doesn't he understand the severity of the situation? To think what would happen if I left the squirrels on the yard, heaven forbid! It'd be absolute turmoil.

After spending some amount of time outside (dogs don't have a very good perception of time, so I'm not sure how long) short master will call me in and give me a snack for being good, which tall master usually scoffs at.

"That dog is going to get fat with all the treats you give it," tall master mumbles into his coffee.

"No he won't Kurt! He's going to remain perfect," short master says while he rubs my belly. Yea, I love short master the most. "Besides, calling him fat will give him a complex."

"Like he can actually understand what I'm saying," tall master would say, rolling his eyes. Yes tall master, I know what you're saying. "We've gotta go Blaine. We're already running behind this morning."

This is one of my favorite parts of the day: when the masters go off somewhere and I get the house all to my self. No tall master to yell at me. It's the best.

"Alright, I'll see you later little buddy," Short master says, petting my head and walking out the door with tall master. As soon as the door closed, my fun began. Usually I started with going into the masters' bedroom to find something to play with.

The first place I always check is tall master's closet. It's full of different kinds of textured fabrics that he wears to school and other places. It also has nice leather shoes to chew on, and is basically a dog's heaven. I hop up to grab onto one of the nice soft sweaters and yank it off the rack. Dragging it in my teeth, I bring it into the living room, where there are enough windows for me to bark at the pesky squirrels, and a nice soft couch for me to lay on. Tall master doesn't let me on the couch when he's home, but he doesn't have much of a say when he isn't.

Then, I go back to tall master's closet and grab one of his scrumptious shoes. My favorite is a light brown one that he wore when he and tall master went somewhere fancy for some important thing. I don't pay too much attention to where they go exactly. I pick up the shoe in my teeth and bring it into the living room, lying down on my soft bed made by the sweater and chewing on my new leather shoe toy.

I don't know how long I do this, but after a while I get hungry. I already ate everything that is in my bowl, so I resort to the trash can. The masters were so considerate when they bought a trashcan with one of those lids that you pop open by stepping on a pedal, I almost wish I could thank them. Instead, I pop open the lid and pull out my favorite things: old coffee filters, half eaten toast, banana peels, apple cores, and eat until my little puppy heart is content. How nice of the masters to leave these in there for me.

Then, I hear the sound of the key in the door. Intruders! I bark at them with all my might, trying to scare them away so my masters don't come home to find squirrels in their house, until I see that it is my masters!

"Hey there buddy," short master says happily, petting my head. Tall master doesn't look as happy.

"Blaine! Your dog got into the garbage again! Oh my God there's coffee grinds all over the kitchen! Is that my shoe and my cashmere sweater! OH MY GOD I'M GOING TO KILL THAT DOG BLAINE!"

Then, since I did such a good job looking over the house, short master rewards me by putting me outside to defend us from the squirrels. I can still hear tall master yelling in the house, rambling about something that makes him angry. It must be the squirrels. They make me angry too.

Short master usually comes back outside around this time with my leash and takes me for a walk. We never go too far because short master has to do other things other than play with me (crazy thought, isn't it?) but they're one of my favorite parts of the day.

"You've really gotta stop getting into things little buddy. Kurt's going to have a hernia if you keep it up," short master would tell me while we walk on the sidewalk together. "You're not a bad dog though. Kurt just overreacts."

When we get home from our walk, tall master is usually quieter and hugs short master, kissing his forehead. He mumbles an apology about freaking out and pats me on the head. Even though tall master normally doesn't pet me, when he does, he does an awesome job.

The rest of the night is calm. The masters sit together in the living room, working on things on paper, or talking to each other while drinking coffee to stay up longer. Tall master will usually be trying to memorize something and short master will be helping him with it, or short master will pull out his shiny noise maker and play it while tall master listens and tells him what he thinks. Then, the masters take their showers and climb into bed, short master usually picking me up to put me in with them.

I squirm into my rightful place, right in-between tall and short master, but tall master scoffs.

"No way am I being replaced by Wallace," he says, pushing me to the foot of the bed and hugging short master. Short master smiles and puts his head into tall master's neck.

"You couldn't be. You're irreplaceable," he says very softly. "I love you."

"I love you too," tall master whispers, kissing short master. The masters usually fall asleep right after that, unless they keep kissing. Then I usually get thrown off the bed or thrown into the hall so they can do who knows what. But, tonight, I get to sleep on short master's warm feet again, snuggly and warm. It's just another normal day, but I wouldn't want it any other way.