Kurosaki Ichigo: Seireitei Gigolo

By Andrew J. Talon and The EroSennin

Based upon an idea by byakuryuu

Disclaimer: This is a non-profit fan based work of prose. Bleach is the property of Noriaki "Tite" Kubo, Shonen Jump, Viz and others. Please support the official release.

Author's Note: And this was written entirely by byakuryuu, but I wanted to share it.

"Oh no!" Urahara shrilled as he went through the pad, eyes wide, panicking as his gaze was focused on the last paragraph of clients, looking to his white-haired former partner-in-crime "We missed one!" he indicated with a finger, "We missed one!"

Hitsugaya sighed, lowering his mug of piko-piko apple juice, furrowing his brows at the out-of-character action of Urahara Kisuke. Said man had just shrilled his voice, waking up more than half the spirit world; and right now, said stubbled and sandy blonde former Seireitei scientist was a mess, looking up from a file to the Tenth Division Captain.

Sometimes he wondered why he came here.

"Get Kurosaki, then." Hitsugaya Toushirou, Pimp Extraordinaire set down his mug, pulling up a newspaper and resting himself even more comfortably into the brand new red couch, intent on spending the rest of his day like a slug.

"I can't; he has a marathon appointment with Yoruichi." Kisuke muttered a blasphemous curse under his breath before finishing, "Again."

The Tenth Division Captain let out a small sigh.

"Just how did you get the schedule mixed up, Urahara?" Hitsugaya didn't look at him, instead flipping through to the business section, "You're usually much more organized than that. Besides, it's just one client, no harm done." He flipped to the classifieds, "Just send her a formal letter of apology and return her the deposit Easy."

Urahara looked at Hitsugaya Toushirou as if he was insane.

"It's not that easy! Do you know how much she's paying?!" he emphasized the last word.

"Urahara, it can't be that - !" he shoved the file to his nose, "WHAT THE SHIT?!"

Hitsugaya's jaw practically went slack for ten seconds.

"Are those fucking zeroes or are those fucking zeroes?"

Seeing Hitsugaya get to his feet and get the motor running was a relief: now they both had to work this out. He didn't have to be alone in his panic.

"W -Well what are we gonna do?" Hitsugaya rubbed his temples, "Th - That's a lot of money."

Urahara thought for a moment.

Then looked at Toushirou.

And smiled.

The Captain took a step back.

"...You are not - !"

"Yes." Urahara took a step forward.

"No." He insisted.

"Yes." Another.

"No."

"Oh yes... yes..."

/-/-/-/-/

Hueco Mundo stood still in the eternal night sky, a fortress of solitude and despair. Within its halls, a female Arrancar stood still, one tanned arm covering what little she had left of her decency, naked as the day she was born. The cold shivers in her spine took her over, the spike of pleasure slowly teasing without touch. There was nothing here; nothing in this room but her. Just her... her and her height of pleasure and sin.

Fantasy. Oh fantasy.

The cold air became collder, the walls... the walls were beginning to coat with layers of ice; an indication of what was to come, what she was to be. She tried in vain to keep herself decently presentable, one hand across the chest, the other covering her lower torso, red blush indicated embarrassment.

Her masked lower half mentioned her discomfort.

"Tia Harribel."

A coccoon of ice appeared before her, gently blooming to reveal a young man, clad in clothes that seemed to be carved of frost, regal and proud. She felt movement; she had closed her eyes before, presenting herself to her Lord and Master; her Prince; her Eternity. One moment she was cold. The next...

She and her companion were engulfed in a blanket of water and ice; an amalgamation of both, small steams, little chips, swirling all around as he brought her into a dip. His fingers gently massaged the small of her back as his green gaze met hers and kissed the lower half her mask, sending causing her to moan softly, sensing the sheer desire for him growing like a flower of winter.

His white hair was no different from the snow that blew in gusts all around them.

Her eyes regarded him in return: he was everything. Everything. He was hers. Hers... for tonight, she would show him, show her Ice Prince everything. Everything to prove she deserved him. That she deserved all of him.

Even though he was still pretty short.

In the deep recesses of the "Ice Prince's" mind, Hyourinmaru sniffed.

I'm so proud!

/-/-/OMAKE/-/-/

Harribel blushed as Hitsugaya gathered his clothes, not looking at her. He picked up the paycheck near the door, intent on leaving before it got anymore complicated than it was. It wasn't as though he didn't enjoy it; he did, really. But things... things were just weird now. He hadn't had that much of a sexual experience outside of the occasional porn video.

Were people meant to get this attached?

"It was my first time too." Harribel's eyes indicated honesty when he turned in his slight surprise to see the curvaceous arrancar covering herself with the thin sheet of his Captain's haori, "Thank you."

He smiled back.

"Can I... hire you again?" she asked.

He moved to nod, but...

"SON-IN-LAW!" came Aizen's tearful voice.

As well as a great big man-hug of a very emotional former Captain of the Gotei Thirteen who had decided to make a dynamic entrance.

"TOUSEN! GIN! OUR LITTLE GIRL'S GETTING MARRIED!"

And that was when Hitsugaya decided he was screwed.

So screwed...