Hello, loves. I know it's been awhile, but it's less than it could be, so that's something right? Anyway... AS A PEACE OFFERING I GIVE A NEARLY 3000 WORD CHAPTER!

I'm the only one to reread this in advance (looking for mistakes that is. My friend Danielle - the one who wrote the brain breakingly bad chapter? - got a sneak preview.

I apologize about the war talk. War's been on my mind as of late thanks to the things I'm doing in school (in my Modern Global Analysis class we just finished the Gulf War and did 9/11 today and in English we have to write a paper on War Poetry).

Now I just have to think of a title.

Chapter 14: FAQ

The party stayed silent for the next hour or so, at which point Feredir became frustrated with the way Caroline was riding. "Have you even ever been up on a horse before? You're like a sack of potatoes."

"No, I have not. Also, po-ta-toes! Boil 'em, mash 'em, stick 'em in a stew!"

"What?"

"Er… nothing. Never mind. Unimportant. But no, I have not been on a horse before. They aren't exactly commonplace where I come from."

Feredir looked confused. "How do you travel long distances then?"

Caroline made a face, "I'm pretty sure that I explained this to Lindir already. We have automobiles, also called cars. They go by themselves and a lot faster than a horse. Don't ask me to explain how, they just do."

"But I thought you said you had no magic in your world."

"Well, apparently we do as I managed to end up here. Of course, this could still all be a coma dream… Anyway, no, we don't have magic. Normally, at least. We do have this thing called fossil fuel which is basically this stuff that we burn that turns some things or something to make the car go."

Feredir snorted. "Thank you for being specific."

Caroline grinned cheekily, "No problem. I am just brimming with technical knowledge."

"Mm. I see. So could you explain to me the way a car works in more detail? And do you still use ships to cross the sea?"

"Well, sometimes we do, but we also have airplanes, or aeroplanes as the Brits say, which I think you technically are, or something. Anyway. They fly."

"You have flying machines?"

"Mmhm. Didn't you have them back in the Silmarillion or something?"

Merenil and Lindir watched Caroline and Feredir talk, amazed that for once the two of them weren't bickering. Lindir was wondering if Feredir had gained some respect for Caroline after seeing that she considered this whole thing more than a game. Merenil was smiling because it was plain to her what Feredir was doing. By no means did he definitely like Caroline any more than he previously did. He probably continued to find her one of the most annoying people he had ever met. However, he was a fundamentally good person, despite what Caroline would say, and didn't like to see her so upset. He'd found a way to take her mind off of Boromir's fate and surprisingly it seemed to be working.

Merenil spurred her horse onward, hoping to make it as far as they possibly could by nightfall.

~O~O~

When they made camp that night the Misty Mountains were in plain view, but they dared not attempt them at night. Feredir grumbled somewhat about that, saying that they would make better time if Caroline was a better rider. Merenil pointed out that Caroline was the whole reason for the quest and reluctantly Feredir shut up.

After a dinner of rabbit and a little lembas, Merenil and Lindir wandered off to do whatever they did in their spare time. Caroline highly doubted it was anything more than talking, having done enough research for fics to know a little about elvish sexuality. Still, in this screwed up version of Middle-earth, one really never knew.

Which brought to mind another question she'd had for a while. Absent-mindedly, she picked up some dead leaves and began picking them apart and tossing them in Feredir's direction. He sat on the opposite side of the small fire and most of them missed their mark, burning up instead. Unsatisfied with his lack of attention, Caroline resorted to picking up some stray pebbles and nuts and throwing them instead.

"Feredir," nut.

"Feredir," pebble.

"Feredir," clod of dirt.

"Feredir," beetle.

"Feredir," nut.

"Fery."

"Fery."

"Fery."

"What, Caroline?" Feredir asked, looking up irritably.

"I have a question," she replied, a look of utmost innocence on her face.

Feredir sighed. "Of course you do."

"No, I'm serious. It's a question I've had for a while."

Feredir looked hesitant still, definitely not trusting her. "What's your question?"

"Weeeell…" Caroline said, drawing out the word and trying to continue looking innocent. A mischievous grin tugged at her lips though, and Feredir narrowed his eyes. "I've done a lot of research for my stories, right? But I've never been able to find an answer to this question and it's been bothering me."

Feredir's eyes were little more than slits now, his suspicions all but confirmed. This was something stupid. "Spit it out, Caroline."

Caroline shrugged, apparently deciding to go for it. "How the hell do Ents reproduce?"

If Feredir had known what it was, Caroline was pretty sure he would have facepalmed. "Why would you ever need to know that? Besides, Ents are just a memory from a time long gone."

"No they aren't."

"Really now? Is that so? Because I have never met an Ent, nor have I ever heard of someone who has met an Ent." He appeared to think that that settled the matter because he leaned back against the tree he had claimed and closed his eyes.

"I have."

"You have what?"

"Heard of someone who met an Ent, stupid. Well, technically they haven't met any Ents yet. But they will. You might too, if I can convince Merenil to let us go through Fangorn on our way to Rohan."

Feredir continued to look skeptical. "Caroline, no one has seen Ents for thousands of years. I doubt Elrond has ever even seen one."

"Yeah, well, no one in the Shire has ever seen the Rohirrim, have they? Doesn't mean they don't exist."

"How is that even relevant?"

"It's completely relevant!"

Feredir sighed and leaned forward so that his elbows were on his knees. "Caroline, the difference is that some people have seen the Rohirrim, if not everyone. No one has seen an Ent."

"Gandalf has."

"Gandalf is a wizard. For all I know he saw an Ent before the war with Morgoth."

Caroline shook her head petulantly. "Uh-uh. Gandalf came to Middle-earth after that."

Feredir sighed, seeing that denying the existence of Ents was getting him nowhere. "All right. Fine. Saying Ents do exist, which I still doubt, why would you ever want to know how they reproduce?"

Caroline shrugged, "Curiosity? Hey, maybe the Ent's were just that bad at it that that's the real reason the Entwive's up and left. Or maybe it took the Ents so long…" Caroline snickered, clearly having little maturity.

Feredir's expression was one of disgust. "Why would you want to think about that, Caroline? That's just disturbing."

"I mean, I suppose they could pollinate or something, like normal trees," Caroline continued, oblivious to Feredir now, "but Treebeard specifically said that the reason there were no more young Ents or Entlings or whatever it was because they had no more Entwives. I mean I suppose the Ents could produce only male reproductive flower parts and the Entwives only female parts, but still that doesn't seem to work quite right, don't you think?"

"I have no idea what you are even talking about, Caroline."

"Well, like, a flower has two types of parts. There male parts are the stamen and the female part is the pistil and then pollen from the anthers, which are the tips of the stamen, rub onto the pistil which fertilizes it. Then-"

"How do you even know that?"

"We were learning it in Biology when I got pulled in."

Feredir fell silent, as did Caroline. She watched the flames. "You said there was war in your world too, back when we first met," Feredir said suddenly.

Caroline nodded slowly, glancing up at him.

"You said it was worse than the war here."

"Much."

"But you also said it doesn't affect you personally."

"No, not really."

"How can that be? How can a war not affect you? Is it not your home at war?"

Caroline shook her head, "No, it is. But the war is far away. It's been there for a very long time too, so it's one of those things that gets pushed to the side and is never really your first concern. I mean, there are the collections for the troops at holidays and stuff, but that's about it."

"How did it start?"

Caroline gave a derisive laugh, "Stupid politics and false information? Well, that's not quite true. It's very complicated."

"Simplify it?"

"My country was already scared because of an attack that had happened and had killed a lot of people. We'd already invaded one country in the area looking for the people responsible. Then, intelligence that turned out to be false said that another country in the area possessed weapons of mass destruction. We went to war, tore down a dictator, shit happened and we ended up there for much longer than we were supposed to be. That happens a lot with wars, actually, that last part I mean."

"How many wars has your country been involved in?"

"Too many. Far, far too many." Caroline paused, "But if I had to number them, at least ten, probably more I'm forgetting. And we've only been around for a little over 200 years. Also, most of them were with different enemies."

Feredir looked at her in shock. "So much fighting… At least we've been fighting only one enemy for so long."

Caroline laughed ironically, "And your enemy is actually evil. Ours are just other men. Tolkien fought in one of those wars, actually, though he wasn't from my country."

Feredir looked confused, "Tolkien?"

Caroline looked at him, surprised, "You don't know who Tolkien is? Oh, I guess I never mentioned that… J.R.R. Tolkien is the name of the man that wrote the books. You know, the ones that tell of all this. He fought in World War One. Actually he based a lot of things on things from the war. The dead marshes, for example, are based on things he saw in No Man's land."

"You've completely lost me," Feredir said.

"Okay, look…" Suddenly, Caroline found herself drawn into explaining World War One. It was late before either Feredir or Caroline went to sleep that night, Caroline nearly passing out and Feredir throwing a blanket over her before going to bed himself. Merenil, watching from behind a tree was glad to see they could hold a civil conversation when they found common ground. She only wished that she could be certain that the tentative friendship the two had begun to form would last.

~O~O~

Caroline rolled over with a groan as someone nudged her with their foot. "It wasn me…" she muttered. "I didn steal the badger…"

Merenil arched a delicate eyebrow in confusion. "Dare I even ask for context?"

Caroline blinked blearily and propped herself up on her elbows. "Prolly not. I had a horde of angry Hufflepuffs chasing me, not that that means anything to you," she answered, her words still slurred from sleep.

Feredir looked over, "What the hell is a Hufflepuff?"

"Exactly," Caroline answered as she stood up and cracked her back.

"It sounds like some sort of furry animal," Lindir commented, as he handed Caroline some lembas which she accepted gratefully.

"It's a different book series. Forget I said anything," Caroline answered, munching happily.

"It's really annoying when you do that, you know," Merenil commented, beginning to pack up the camp along with Lindir and Feredir. Caroline did little to help, still preoccupied with eating.

"You could do something," Feredir snapped, as Caroline gave a particularly condescending look to the three other travelers.

"Yes, well, I could, but come Mirkwood I'm going to be exhausting myself turning people back. Imagine if you had to carry me around," Caroline replied smugly, badly faking a distraught tone. "I am simply preserving my strength!"

"Mmhm, that's bullshit. Gather your things, Caroline, or we're leaving them behind," Feredir said.

Caroline pouted before reluctantly beginning to pack her things. "This isn't my blanket…" she said, as she held it out in front of her. It was brown and coarse and she was sure that the one she had packed was green and much softer.

Feredir glanced over, "Oh that's mine. Give it here."

Caroline's eyebrows pulled together in confusion, "Why was I sleeping under it?"

"Because it was on hand and you looked cold."

Caroline grinned maniacally. "Ah hah! Now I see why you were so interested in me and Boromir yesterday!"

Merenil glanced between the two while Lindir began, "Oh, you two. Don't start this again."

"But isn't it obvious, Lindir?" Caroline asked, struggling to keep a straight face.

Merenil gave Caroline a disapproving glare, "Caroline…"

"Clearly," Caroline continued gleefully, turning back to Feredir, "You are the one with a crush on me! You were jealous!"

Feredir stared for a moment and then began laughing hysterically. "You think, you think that I could possibly have a crush on you?" He began laughing again, harder if that was possible.

Caroline drew herself up, indignant. "What do you mean by that?"

Feredir attempted to straighten up, "I just mean," he gave another snort of laughter, "that the idea is so utterly ridiculous. I would never even consider that."

Merenil attempted to say something but Caroline cut her off. "What you mean I'm not attractive?" Caroline glared at Feredir.

"I never said that! I just mean you aren't from here and you barely know anything."

"I know plenty, and certainly more than you in some cases!"

"You're an ignorant child who thinks they understand things because they read it in a book!" Feredir answered, exasperated. "You said it yourself last night; war has never even touched you!"

"And that makes me ignorant?" Caroline demanded, glaring at Feredir in disgust.

"Well, yes! I mean, well," Feredir attempted to backtrack, seeing the anger in Caroline's face.

"You mean that you don't think I know anything. Well, you know what? I know how everything here comes out. I know who suffers and how they suffer. I know who is changed so irreparably that they are never the same again. I know who will lose friends and who will gain them and I know that it's up to me to let everything be as it should. I know who dies. And then I have to look around at these people who I care for, even though some of them never talked to me, like I never had a conversation with Gimli and god knows the issue with Legolas, and I have to know this. So don't tell me I don't know anything." Caroline huffed angrily and stuffed the remainder of her things back in her bag.

"Everyone calm down!" Lindir tried, to no avail.

Feredir snatched the blanket from her, "Oh, but it is all just a story, isn't it? You wouldn't dream of doing anything to stop those terrible things because it would ruin your precious, beautiful book!"

"Yes!" Caroline shouted, frustrated that he couldn't see. "I can't change anything! Don't you see? I could do more harm than good. You haven't read the books, you can't see as plainly as I can how everything leads to another. Every bit of the story is as important as another!"

"You say that, but you don't know for sure! You could at least try! You don't even care!"

"How dare you say that?" Caroline demanded, before launching herself onto him. She took him by surprise and tackled him to the ground before he had time to react. She began to hit him, but within seconds he had pinned her down while she struggled helplessly. Glaring at him fiercely, she twisted wildly and managed to bite his wrist.

"You bit me!" Feredir yelled, jumping back. He turned to Merenil and Lindir helplessly, "She bit me!"

Caroline stood up, brushing the hair off her face and attempting to look smug. This was somewhat hindered by the fact that she was a bit short of breath. "Yes, you son of a bitch. I did bite you."

Feredir turned and glared. "Don't talk about my mother like that."

Caroline stuck her tongue out and him and huffed, turning away.

"You know nothing of our world, you never will, no matter how many books you read," Feredir spat. He watched in satisfaction as he saw Caroline's shoulders slump imperceptibly as she walked toward the horses.

Merenil glared at Feredir. "You really didn't have to go that far, did you?"

Feredir sniffed, "And why shouldn't I? It's true!"

Lindir spoke up, "She's turned more people back than she cares to think about, and will have to do more than that soon. She obviously cares to some extent."

Feredir raised an eyebrow. "She does it to get home!"

Merenil gave a short laugh and began walking over to Caroline to help her saddle the horse. "She never told you how she changed Sam back, did she?" she called back over her shoulder.

~O~O~

Four or five hours later Caroline found that riding all day had left her seriously sore and that today was only making things worse. Also, they did not appear to be climbing much at all; in fact, they seemed to be descending. She grew suspicious and a little bit worried, unsure whether to hope her suspicions were true or not.

Half an hour later, Merenil confirmed them. "There it is, not too far away now. Mirkwood: home of the wood elves, and, more importantly, Thranduil."

Caroline pulled Nell to a stop and eyed the forest suspiciously. "How did we get over the mountains so quickly?" she asked.

"What are you talking about Caroline? This is the normal time such a journey would take," Merenil responded. Feredir was stubbornly refusing to talk to Caroline.

Caroline turned and looked at Merenil, suddenly very serious. "Merenil, where the hell were the mountains?"