Disclaimer: Jeff and Nick aren't mine... but I'm getting blackmail material on Ryan Murphy, so they may be soon. (not really but don't burst my bubble)

MisterDomBarnes, though it's taken many late nights and quite a few bottles of vitamin water, you've been with me through it all. Also, special thanks to my sister for ignoring my fangirl squeals and turning a blind eye to subject matter during our writing process. You're a dear. Our reviewers have been the sweetest. I hope you all enjoy and continue to let us know what you think.

CHAPTER FOUR-JEFF

It should have been a great day. I mean it started out that way and only got better. When I woke up, Nick was already gone but left a note promising to save a muffin at breakfast. I stretched lazily and just enjoyed the warm sun against my stomach before hopping out of bed and getting to business. Beautiful start, right?

Then we had History class and Mr. Marshall handed out grades for our last tests. I got a D, not great but at least not failing. Nick got an F though and it was really uncalled for. I mean, I read his test and it was incredibly boring and informative so I was sure he'd get a good grade, maybe even an A. But Marshall had some old grievance with Nick's dad from when they went to Dalton years before and so he took it out on Nick all the time. I don't think Nick knows about it. Anyway, I had to pull him from the class before he did something that would end with us both in jail.

After that, we headed to separate classes. I had Math and got an A. Last thing I expected. Math was right before lunch and they served Mac N Cheese. Mac N Cheese is like… the food of gods. Seriously, I'm pretty sure that some variation of it is in every culture. It's the best. But lunch and my favorite food was only an hour and then back to class.

When Warblers came up, Nick was late and then marched in looking pissed. He shot me a look that said "later," and the meeting began. Nick and I lost our auditions again to Blaine, not that we really thought we'd get them. I was disappointed but no big. There were other auditions, other solos. I just wanted ti get a chance. Nick on the other hand, seemed to almost lose his cool. He didn't seem to be having a good day but I couldn't imagine why his fuse was so short.

It was bothering me. I mean, Nick was my best friend before I realized I was g-.. attracted to him. I wasn't gay. My parents had a strict plan for my life and anything that went slightly different was frowned upon. One time, I broke my wrist a month before I was supposed to start piano lessons. It was an accident but they told me they were disappointed in me and that they expected me to work twice as hard to make up for it. But I'm digressing. Nick was everything to me and for him to be upset, meant that I was upset.

I got distracted at dinner, though, because Patrick Hennesy got the brand new Need for Speed and it wasn't even out yet. So I was excited and itching to go hang out in his room to try it out. And Nick?

Gosh, I loved him but Nick was a homebody. So when he kindly suggested we go back to the room and chill, I forgot about his bad day and declined watching one of the movies we'd seen a million times. I had a new game to try after all. I'd see him later after I hung out with Patrick and the other guys. It wasn't until the third race that I realize he might not have been talking about movies.

With the prospect of getting laid, I told the other guys I'd see them later and took off back to our dorm room. I swung open the door to find Nick propped up in his bed writing in a leather bound book. I shut the door behind me, tossed my backpack down on my bed, and headed over to Nick.

"What's that?"

Nick's response was to try and hide the book and I frowned. When did we start keeping secrets?

"Seriously, what is it? Are you keeping a... a diary? Oh that's rich. Let me see!" I reached out but Nick pulled it away from me. Laughing, I climbed on top of him, a familiar position, and snatched the book from his hands before I ran halfway across the room. I decided reading aloud would make him squirm more. I figured he deserved it as punishment for hiding it in the first place.

"Today sucked. First I got an F in history for no apparent reason other than the teacher being an idiot and then my parents called. Same shit as always. And when I wanted to spend some time with the boy I was...in love with..."

I felt my jaw drop as I continued reading, silently. There was no way this was real. He had found out about what I was feeling and was making a cruel joke. He must have. He knew I'd fight him out of curiosity and so he wrote this crap just to get under my skin. Okay, so that was denial and exaggeration but I couldn't believe what I was reading. Part of me was confused and part of me elated. I knew what I'd do though. I hadn't told Nick because I knew nothing could ever happen between him. My parents would flip if they found out.

"Nick... I.. is this true?"

All the sudden, Nick was glaring, his eyes full of anger and hurt. I literally took a step back under their scrutiny. In a few seconds, he was at me, snatching the book away from me. He marched back to his bed and I knew he was going to put it away and ignore the whole situation. And then his body language changed and I was seriously concerned. He looked so broken and yet determined.

"Why... why must you always do this? Yes, we're best friends but can't I have anything that's mine? Just mine, Jeff? The things that are in this book... they are none of your damned business."

My heart ached. I knew exactly what he was talking about. I had video games and the guys but there really wasn't much that Nick did, that I didn't. He didn't have his own thing. And I just took the last one from him.

He slammed the drawer shut and grabbed his backpack before marching to the door. He was only a few feet from me and he was tense, like it was taking everything in him not to hit me. Nick shoved the journal toward me and I flinched. When our eyes met, I was convinced he hated me.

"Go ahead and read some more, since you seem to think you're entitled." His words cut at me like a knife. He was gone before I even realized the door was open .

I debated for all of three seconds before taking off after him. Nick was my best friend. Who cared how mad he was? Who cared who hurt him? I was always there for him and I would always be.