I LIKE IT

"Pathetic."

"Paul, just what is your problem? Do you hate me or something?"

"Hm."

"You know, I only want to be your friend."

"Friends are for losers."

"I'm not a loser!"

"Tough talk coming from someone who just lost. Loser."

"Look, why can't you just be nice for a cha – hey, wait! Paul, come back!"

"Goodbye."

"I'm not finished with you yet! Get back here!"

"What do you think your doi – get off of me!"

"No, not until you tell me why you're so mean to-"

"Get off!"

"No, I-"

"Let go of my bag!"

"Why, what's so important about your-"

"…"

"…"

"You idiot!"

"Oops."

"You're pathetic! Pick it up!"

"Uh, I'm sorry, Paul, I just really-"

"Shut up."

"But I-"

"I said shut up!"

"Sorry…"

"Wait, don't pick it up."

"Sorry – what?"

"Just go away, I'll do it."

"Paul, I'll help you. It was my fault-"

"Just leave. Now."

"I don't see what's wrong with you-"

"Hey, give that back!"

"Give what back – oh, this?"

"Loser! Give it back!"

"No, get off a minute – what is this, and why are you so red?"

"Ash!"

"…Paul."

"…"

"Why do you have picture of me dressed like a maid?"

"Give it back."

"No way! This is mine! It's of me!"

"Ash-"

"Paul, what's wrong with you? You're calling me by my actual name and you have a picture of me cross-dressing – what next, you're going to tell me you're gay or something?"

"…"

"Wait – you're gay?"

"Bi, actually."

"…Oh."

"Yeah, 'oh'."

"Ah, Paul, I'm sorry, I didn't mean-"

"Just give it back."

"Oh, er, okay."

"…"

"Look, we can pretend this never happened-"

"And the point of that would be?"

"Well, um, I just figured you didn't want me knowing-"

"Knowing what?"

"That you – oh, God, this is awkward – that you're into guys and, and, and that you have a photo of me, looking like a girl, in your bag, with you, all, the, time."

"Do you have a problem with it?"

"Uh, well, I should. You have a photo. Of me. Like that."

"I like it."

"…"

"…"

"So, are you saying that, you, you know, you like me?"

"…Sure."

"Wha-Paul! Haven't you got anything else to say?"

"What do you want me to say?"

"Do you actually like me? Do you think I'm cute? Do you actually think about me like that? Do you imagine doing stuff with me? Do you-"

"Shut up."

"Paul, you can't just tell me to-mmf!"

"…"

"Ha, Paul, you just, you just…"

"Yes? Got a problem?"

"Ah, no, not at all…"

"…"

"Didn't expect to like it so much..."

"..."

"Hey, do you mind if we, uh, you know, aga-mmf!"

"Happy?"

"A little warning, please!"

"Whatever."