A/N: This is a story which has been undertaken at the behest of Zipper Whippersnapper. I don't want to spoil how the story will progress; so I'm not going to tell you what the request actually was. It was made back in January and only now am I getting around to doing it. The title of this story comes from a quote (big surprise, right?) by Thomas Dekker: "A mask of gold hides all deformities." I plan on beginning each chapter with a quote and you'll probably quickly clue into the theme.

A Mask of Gold
by Enthusiastic Fish

Chapter 1

"Do you not know that there comes a midnight hour when every one has to throw off his mask? Do you believe that life will always let itself be mocked? Do you think you can slip away a little before midnight in order to avoid this? Or are you not terrified by it? I have seen men in real life who so long deceived others that at last their true nature could not reveal itself;... In every man there is something which to a certain degree prevents him from becoming perfectly transparent to himself; and this may be the case in so high a degree, he may be so inexplicably woven into relationships of life which extend far beyond himself that he almost cannot reveal himself. But he who cannot reveal himself cannot love, and he who cannot love is the most unhappy man of all."

Soren Kierkegaard

Present...

The toilet flushed and Tim wiped off his mouth, sternly telling himself that he stood to gain nothing by making himself sick with his fear. Still, he sat back on the floor, leaning against the sink, trying not to think of what was likely coming in his life. There was just so much that had happened in the last year. He drew his knees to his chest and lay there, looking at the amazing view he had...of the bathroom. All those months he had spent resenting his friends and coworkers because they didn't acknowledge that he might have something to contribute to the things they'd been doing.

...even now, even when he knew just how wrong he'd been, how badly everything was going...even now, he could feel the anger roiling around in his stomach as he thought about how dismissive they'd been. Even Abby who should know better than anyone that he didn't just say things without having knowledge to back it up, not about science, even she had laughed at him when he'd first given his ideas.

He grimaced. It was far too easy to follow what he'd been told. Far too easy to let minor annoyances turn into deal-breakers. He couldn't believe how easily they'd reeled him in. He wasn't the kind of person who was led around by the nose. He wasn't!

Or are you? After all, who else would be dumb enough to let flattery turn them into a villain? You're a complete idiot.

He shook his head and got to his feet. He couldn't delay this any longer. He washed off his face and then walked out into the main room. Tim looked around his apartment, the trappings of his life...and his gaze lingered on his computer. If he had known where his facility with that machine would lead...

"I wouldn't have done anything different," he said aloud. "I'd just tell myself I'd be more careful. ...and end up in the same situation...because I'm stupid. How can I be so smart and be so dumb?"

He sighed and ran a shaking hand through his hair. This was just a delaying tactic...because he didn't want to face what he had to face. There were two problems: no one would believe him if he told them and it was his fault and therefore, his mess.

The biggest problem was that he had very little doubt that he'd die doing this...and he may not even succeed.

Just deserts. You got yourself into this. You don't deserve to get out of it if you can't do it by yourself.

He nodded and carefully set his badge on the counter. He wouldn't ruin NCIS by going in as an agent. He also set his phone beside his badge. He wouldn't need it anymore. With a final deep breath, he headed for the door.

...and then paused when his phone started to ring. He walked back and looked at it.

Gibbs.

Tim hesitated. Years of reinforcement screamed at him to answer.

Never be unreachable!

...but he couldn't because he couldn't clue them in to what he was doing and he couldn't let them know he was going to die. They would try to stop him from doing what he had to do.

What's he going to do, anyway? Fire you? Besides, you're following one of his rules, remember? Clean up your own messes! This is your mess, not theirs. Why should they suffer for your stupidity?

Tim smiled and left his phone where it was. He walked out of his apartment, not bothering to lock the door behind him. If by some miracle he survived this, he probably wouldn't have a job or anything worth keeping anyway.

With a final nod, he left.

On his way to fulfill his one-man crusade against those who wanted to rule the world...or at least as large a piece of it as they could get.

"Knowlege is power," he whispered.

He knew he was going to die. He supposed there was a power in that. Nothing worse that he could lose.