Author's Notes: This is the same story as "Irresistible" but from Fye's point of view instead of Kurogane's. I wanted to give an explanation of Fye's motivations and show how Kurogane misinterpreted almost everything the wizard did.

Rated T just to be safe, for language (come on, it's a Kuro-fic, there HAS to be coarse language) and a vague reference to two men in bed together. Story takes place between Piffle and LeCourt. Complete author's notes will be tacked on at the very end of the final chapter.

The first thing Fye had felt when they'd landed in this new world several days ago was relief. It was, by now, as much a part of the arrival process as the reflexive reactions to a new world's physical realities. The agile wizard would automatically adjust to the pull of gravity, and as soon as he felt sure his head was pointed up and his feet were pointed down, he would try to catch scents and sounds and sights. This time, Mokona had released them neatly just a few feet above the ground - and it had thankfully ibeen/i ground, not water or mud or quicksand - but it had still left time enough for Fye to see green grass, smell moist sun-warmed earth, and feel that rush of relief and gratitude once again.

Not Celes.

Both the relief and the underlying fear had been habitually kept neatly out of sight from the others behind one of his usual sunny smiles, but he couldn't hide these things from himself. The fear had been steadily ignored as usual but the relief was becoming disturbing.

The former emotion was obvious in its origins and needed no self-examination or explanation. The wish he'd bargained for with the Dimensional Witch had been to travel, and keep traveling, that he might never need to go home. However, the high price of his wish had necessitated it being combined with Kurogane's wish to go back home and Syaoran's wish to travel to wherever it was necessary in order to gather up Sakura-chan's memory feathers. Fye couldn't be certain that their consolidated, generalized wish of being able to travel across worlds and dimensions contained the caveat that they would eventually visit Nihon but definitely never land in Celes. In fact, since there was still a feather in Celes, the complete fulfillment of Syaoran's wish meant that Fye's wish could not be maintained indefinitely. And so when Mokona sprouted her wings and sucked the travelers into her mouth, Fye would cheerfully wonder aloud where they'd land next with a carefree come-what-may attitude and try to keep his heart rate under control as he steeled himself for the possibility of ice and snow and blood.

The fear was unpleasant, of course, but it was only one of many unpleasant things he had to keep to himself. In point of fact it was the least unpleasant of them all and he would have gladly bargained for nothing worse than constant, unending fear in exchange for being sure that he would never again have to stand in his replacement homeland and face his adoptive father figure and King. It was a coward's solution, perhaps, but Fye preferred embracing life as a coward to the alternative of facing down his savior and ending the man's existence. Perhaps it was just the way he was built. He couldn't find fault with his decision to accept banishment rather than kill his twin or force his brother to carry the burden of murdering him, but when he looked back at his life after Valeria, Fye now sometimes wondered if he was deceiving himself by thinking that he'd always made the best choices he could have under difficult, almost impossible circumstances.

He didn't exactly remember deliberately taking what he thought of as a coward's way out, or the easy way out, or the lazy way out. He'd only begun to wonder if his actions were cowardly rather than courage fairly recently, now that there was such an example of manly bravery so strikingly different from his own style right in front of his face all of the time. The blonde's decision to flee Celes had certainly not been born out of fear of fighting his King but rather from love and gratitude to the man who'd rescued him from the valley of endless torment and shown him and his brother's corpse tenderness and acceptance. And instead of hesitation and timidity, he'd felt determination to bear hardships, endure as long as need be, and do whatever needed to be done at the start of his new life in Celes. He hadn't taken on his brother's name and personality in order to hide behind them, but instead to keep them alive and in safekeeping until the day he would be able to return them, along with the life he'd stolen.

Oh sweet Saints, how had he done it? How could he have done it?

He recalled with horrific clarity the sound of his childish voice demanding with unwavering determination and decision that he himself be the one to be rescued from the timeless valley instead of his brother, but he couldn't remember thinking the offer over or coming to that unthinkable decision. Those memories were lost, his own soul apparently shrinking from looking into such a dark moment, and only holding onto the sound of him speaking his decision as a necessary weapon of self-torment. The double-expatriate couldn't remember committing the crime, but he held himself responsible for paying the price, and after having vowed to do so, had never wavered from his decision in the years since.

At least, not until very recently.

This was where the relief he felt upon landing in each new world became disturbing, because it was no longer mere relief at having delayed the dreaded confrontation for one more world. He was beginning to dream that the day would never come; that these adventures with the others would continue on forever. He hardly knew how it had started. Probably in a deliberately self-mocking question of, "now wouldn't it be nice if this was just the way it was from now on?" without expecting any answer from himself except for sadness at the certainty that it could never be. His own quick wit had gotten away from him and begun spinning fantasies, and before he knew it, Fye was neck deep in wistful daydreams. He was already running from his King and hoping never to have to see him again. It wasn't so far a stretch of the imagination to think of running forever from the chessmaster who stood opposite to the Dimensional Witch and of never having to confront him again either.

Fye knew from first hand experience that bad things happened to good people. Who was to say they couldn't happen to bad people too? Fei-Wang Reed probably had a line of vengeful victims a mile long waiting in the shadows, hoping for justice or retribution. Perhaps one of them would slip a knife between the man's ribs or burn a magical hole between the man's eyes one day and release Fye from his influence without any additional guilt being laid upon the Valerian's slender shoulders. Or perhaps the monocle'd megalomaniac would simply slip in the bathroom one day and break his neck. Maybe he'd eat some bad fish and die.

During these mental wanderings, the wizard shut his eyes to the other princeling's destiny that hung upon Reed's failure or success. He told himself that he wasn't abandoning his brother, even in thought. These were just daydreams, not wishes he was making or plots he was hatching. If he suddenly found himself standing over an unconscious Fei-Wang Reed with a sword in his hand, the blonde knew he wouldn't strike. It would be a dual murder of both his keeper and his brother. He could have committed the former, but not the latter, even though in one sense he already had.

But it didn't keep him from daydreaming.

Maybe they'd gather up enough of Sakura-chan's feathers to make her nearly whole again, but the conflict of Fye and Syaoran's wishes would keep them traveling endlessly, unable to stop until Syaoran found the last feather but unable to find it because Fye's wish kept them out of Celes. The determined little band would not stop trying, but they'd also gradually break free of the stasis their lives were in. Syaoran and Sakura-chan were already relearning to laugh, and the princess also seemed to be relearning to love from what keen blue eyes could see. Mr. Tall Dark and Homicidal was still his usual self, but Fye knew that the man's "usual self" held far more kindness and thoughtfulness than first impressions had revealed. The ninja just needed to loosen up the iron hold he kept on himself to make their happy little family a perfectly happy little picture. They even had a family pet of sorts, though Mokona was usually given the honor of being considered the eldest child rather than a pet.

He could see them now, five years or so later, maybe more, still dropping out of thin air to land in new worlds. Syaoran would be taller, and heavier too, with the musculature of a warrior thanks to his mentor's rigorous training regimen. Sakura-chan would have grown out of her childish charm and into the bloom of young womanhood. Perhaps wedding bands would grace the young couple's hands. Perhaps there would even be a tiny addition to their party. The serious young man would certainly protest the idea of starting a family while their oft-times dangerous quest continued, but accidents happened, especially when one had such a sweet little spouse at one's side and also had to deal with heightened emotions and adrenaline on a fairly consistent basis.

Kurogane would look much the same, no doubt. A handful of years would mean little to one still so comparatively young and in such good health. Perhaps there would be another scar to add to his dangerous demeanor. Perhaps there would be more frequent smiles to reveal his hidden nature. If there was a Syaoran Junior or Little Sakura to tote around, Fye would have to get the ninja used to being called "Grandpa" instead of "Daddy". The man would probably roar out that he was far too young for such a nickname, and perhaps by then Fye would be able to pry out a grudging admission that the man preferred "Kuro-sama" or "Kuro-rin" to the patriarchal titles. It would be growled out, of course; Kurogane had a very healthy pride, but there would be no real heat in the tone and Fye could imagine a little sidelong glance and nearly imperceptible smile that would speak of mutual understanding and comfortable affection. A little laugh escaped him at the idea as he cut his blue eyes over to the dark-haired man as if thinking to share the joke, and Fye very nearly startled as he was glared at.

Right. Just a daydream.

He covered up the slip by raising his eyebrows and keeping his eyes faux-innocently wide as he smiled inquiringly at the ninja.

"Whatever could be the matter with Daddy?" he wondered aloud. "It can't be the weather; it's a perfectly pretty day to take a nice long walk with the children."

"Quit fooling around and pay attention," the ninja snapped. "Dangers aren't restricted to nighttime." And with that, the dark-haired man turned away and continued stalking through the grass, leading the little band northward - or at least, what they assumed was north on this unfamiliar world - on a search for civilization. Syaoran followed a few steps behind, slowing sometimes to keep his princess within sight as she did her best to keep up with the ninja's long strides, though her progress was impeded by long grass and a long-eared bunny-esque creature in her arms distracting her with incessant chatter. Fye was the rearguard, sandwiching the "children" between the two adults in a silent concession to Kurogane's insistence that they remain on alert despite having spent a week on this planet already without seeing so much as a lone wolf or traveling merchant, much less a pack of dragons or horde of pillaging barbarians. He didn't stay silent on the subject, however, and spent at least a little bit of each breakfast and dinner teasing his taller companion about the disparity between the peacefulness of the planet and Daddy's overprotective paranoia.

For now, however, he kept his mouth shut and relaxed slightly as he got away clean with his daydreaming. Kurogane had proven over and over to have preternaturally keen sight and insights, and it was too easy to get careless and think that the callous disregard with which he was treated meant that the man wasn't paying attention, and that he didn't care. Protest he might, but Fye knew Kurogane was kind and caring. If it were otherwise, the dark-haired man wouldn't have had all those insightful comments to make or sound advice to give, the "Daddy" nickname Mokona had given wouldn't have stuck if the man hadn't been so watchful and protective, and Fye wouldn't have found so much joy in teasing and tormenting him if there hadn't been a good nature hidden underneath all the grump.

Fye likely wouldn't be daydreaming about never-ending adventures with the man, either.

It wasn't just the knowledge he'd gained about the ninja being a sort of chestnut; soft and smooth on the inside and prickly-hard on the outside. Fye knew that he himself was gaining a place in the ninja's thoughts and perhaps heart. The wizard's wary watchfulness wasn't just the defense mechanism he'd intended it to be. It allowed him to observe his companions in unguarded moments just as his chatty overtures let him get to know them in a more direct manner. Kurogane put up with Mokona's sweet silliness with patience, responded to the potential that he saw in Syaoran, and found echoes of home in protecting the Princess of Clow since the Princess of Nihon was not within reach. And Fye felt that he himself was trusted and relied upon, despite the fact that Kurogane made it obvious that he knew the wizard was hiding things. It was hard to explain, even - or perhaps especially - to himself, but he felt it to be so.

When they'd first landed on this idyllic world of pleasant scenery and perfect weather and peaceful nothingness, the band of travelers had done little more than investigate the hilltop they'd landed on before deciding to move on once they found that Mokona couldn't get any sense of one of the princess's feathers. The little white creature's attempt to whisk them all away had failed, however, and she had cried out in confusion that her skills were unavailable to her all of a sudden. She couldn't trigger her travel ability nor open a portal through which to communicate with Yuuko-san, and even an attempt to swallow up a note to send to the Witch resulted in nothing more spectacular than Mokona mumbling around a mouthful of crinkling parchment. Thankfully, her innate abilities still seemed to be in play, and they were all still able to understand each other. She cheerfully claimed that her excellent timing and sense of humor were also still intact, which drew laughter from the blonde half of the party, at least.

Fye had cast about with his eyes, then, as if searching the surrounding landscape for inspiration, but in reality all his focus had been turned inward, and he'd soon realized that his own magical abilities were severely suppressed. There was a dampening effect in play, but the very fact of it existing kept him from being able to pinpoint it or investigate how it might be negated. He'd turned his face and attention back to the others and found red eyes fixed on him in a steady gaze and a minuscule arching of perpetually frowning brows.

Well? that look had seemed to ask.

With nothing useful to contribute but no wish to state so aloud and possibly add to the worries of the children, Fye had give the other man a small shake of his head and a little shrug while the other three were occupied with each other.

I've got nothing, sorry.

Kurogane had turned immediately away and begun making suggestions - or rather giving orders - that they pick a likely looking direction and try to find civilization and hopefully answers. It could have been seen as a rude dismissal but Fye knew it was otherwise. The ninja had expected the wizard to turn his mind to the problem and when Fye came back with a less than satisfactory response, it had been accepted straightaway for what it was. The nearly constant bickering between them was a byproduct of the secretive wizard's desire to keep everyone from getting too close by being overly familiar with them. When left alone, Kurogane showed - perhaps without realizing it or intending to - that he thought of Fye as a reliable adult and ally, whose intelligence and character could be trusted in the moment even if there were secrets and motives kept hidden.

The blonde danced an uneasy dance with himself, finding satisfaction in these little discoveries and trying not to acknowledge to himself that he was doing so, because that would be admitting that he needed to do a better job of shutting everyone out and keeping them at a safe distance. It was like stepping along the crenellations of a parapet wall with your eyes shut, and telling yourself there were no dangers before you since you couldn't see any.

Compounding Fye's problem was the fact that the world they were currently trapped in was not giving him anything to do except dance along his metaphorical parapet.

While their situation was by no means dire, the weather being warm and their surroundings being equally full of good foraging and hunting and empty of hazards and enemies, still the travelers could not simply shrug their shoulders and settle down. Each had their hopes and fears and desires to attend to, and no matter how idyllic their current location, it could not satisfy them. They did what they could, walking each day in the same direction, hoping to leave behind whatever was negatively influencing the magical abilities of the party or find people who could help them find a solution. Fye also kept a careful inner eye on the level of repression his magic was suffering and actual eyes on their surroundings. After a week, he felt certain that it was not his imagination telling him that the mysterious dampening effect was fading slightly with each passing day. Besides the fact that they were traveling steadily in one direction, the only other change he could see in their situation was that the large, ever-present moon in the sky was waning. It had been nearly full when they'd landed, and each day the shadow of another planet or star cast itself just a tiny bit further across the pale blue face.

He decided to experiment.