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Unbeta'd. Read at your own risk.

Come On

"Captain, the color of your eyes is really quite remarkable," Spock said.

Jim knew it was Spock because said Half Vulcan's face was only about 6 inches from his nose. The rest of the world was somewhat fuzzier. And dark, and cold. But wait...Did Spock just say what Jim thought he said?

"Wuh?" said Jim, somewhat less articulately than his actual thought.

"Your eyes...They are a very vivid color of blue," Spock continued tilting his head against the stone slabs of the wall they both seemed to be leaning against.

Chuckling nervously, Jim said, "Spock, did you just tell me that my eyes are pretty?"

Squinting Spock, said, "Most assuredly not. I said that they are a very vivid color of blue."

"Isn't that the same thing?" Jim asked.

"No," Spock said.

Swallowing Jim said, "Good. Because, Spock, you know...I'm really hoping that isn't a come on."

Narrowing his eyes, Spock said, "That would be a rather amateur come on. If I came on to you, you would know." He raised an eyebrow.

Leaning back, Kirk said, "Errrrr...I'm starting to have really vivid recollections about the rumors of male Vulcans and bisexuality, and seeing as I seem to be alone with you in a really dark, kind of cold place."

"The rumors are correct," said Spock.

"Ummm..." said Jim trying his best to scoot away. He felt like he was moving through jello.

"But I am bonded, to Nyota." Both of Spock's eyebrows went up. "And I am nowhere near Pon Farr." He rolled his head against the wall so he was no longer looking Jim in the eyes. "And in any event, I prefer women."

"Good to know," said Jim, feeling slightly better.

Spock sighed. "There is something, very base about it. Primal. Perhaps it is just the biological imperative at work. But I prefer women - the way they feel, the way they look, the way they smell."

The half Vulcans lips smacked softly. "The way they taste."

It was a good thing Jim wasn't drinking anything. It would have come out his nose. Was he having a sex talk with Spock?

Eyes widening, Spock said, "Sometimes I think I am a lesbian trapped in the body of a man."

Despite the cold, the dark, and the hardness of the stones under his back and butt, Jim laughed. "I think we all think that, Spock."

"Really?" Spock said.

"Yeah, I had this conversation with McCoy back at the Academy," said Jim, staring off into fuzzy nothingness.

"Fascinating," said Spock. His brow furrowed. "Although your sample size is really very small."

"Hmmmm?" said Jim. "Yeah...we were really drunk." He smiled at the memory.

And then a warp coil suddenly illuminated in Jim's brain. "Spock, I think we've been drugged," Jim said, not feeling terribly concerned.

"I find the precise odds of that impossible to calculate at the moment, Sir. But I agree with the hypothesis," said his first officer.

"So...yes," said Jim. He forced his hand to move to his belt. Damn. No communicator. This probably meant he should try to stand up. He really didn't want to stand up. Maybe Spock would do the standing. "Don't you think we should do something about that?" said Jim.

"That is very a very illiberal suggestion, Captain," said Spock head lolling back in Jim's direction. "I am quite content with my sexual orientation, or rather inclination, and furthermore -"

"Oh, come on, man! I mean about the fact that we're drugged and locked in a cold dark prison cell, and I don't know about you, but I don't seem to have my communicator!" said Jim.

Spocks head lolled forward. "Oh, yes. That."

A/N:

Just a short drabble. It's actually the only scenario I've thought of. But if you've got requests, put them in the comments, I'd love to do more funny little scenes.