Hi everyone! After a long busy school year, I think I'm ready to start another story. This idea came from a poem I read by Audre Lorde. I found the poem in my sister's (MarieRock) book of poems by Lorde, the same book she used to write "Today Is Not the Day". This whole story will be based on Lorde's poem "Starting All Over Again" which will be posted before the story begins. Anyway, I hope you all enjoy!

Starting All Over Again

it's great to be able call you

at strange hours of my night

asking you to explain

yourself wondering

if that land you approach

radar in hand

climbing an unknown sea

where sailors dare not go lightly

is my face your grandfather's

broad-lipped island face

so like mine

is your own face.

It is not wrong to hunger

for a cause till the need

burns upriver

to your heart becomes

an unquenchable taste

only you must believe

yourself

and the power to choose

your own selves

your best campaign.

I believe in you my son

and I tremble

but the whole earth is trembling

and no one is talking

more than 100,000 dead bodies

in the strange land between us

and still no word spoken

but you share my sleep

with a Kuwaiti girl

impaled twice

by the sprouting hatred of a conqueror

whose face is hidden from me

and by her brother

who loathes the child she bears.

dark incandescent winds blow

the belch of smoldering oil wells

around the world

dimming my island sunsets

mingling with the black smoke

of Ellen Goodman's son

aflame on the Amherst green.

In one month I celebrate

the beginning of my second Saturn return

you were the gift of my first

and I trust you beyond question

In what do you believe?

Audre Lorde

I sat in the back of his car as we pulled out of the hospitals parking lot. The building resided in the side mirror, slowly decreasing in size as we drove away. Something in my chest tightened and a strange feeling came over me. I never thought that I would be so attached to the hospital; it was practically my home for the last two months. Both my brother and I had slept in small hospital cots every night for the majority of those two months and I assumed he was experiencing similar feelings. My clothes still smelled of surface cleaner or whatever chemicals they used to sanitize the building and I wasn't sure they'd ever lose that aroma.

As Byuakuya turned into our neighborhood a wave of sadness hit me with a fierce intensity. I never thought coming home could be this upsetting. At that moment I felt alone, I had left what was left of my sister in that hospital bed with a white sheet resting over her entire body and whatever relationship I once had with my brother-in-law was thrown away as soon as he told the doctors to pull Hisana off life support. There was no one else. It was just me; I had to find a way to cope with the loss of my sister alone.

The car slowly pulled into our driveway and I immediately unbuckled and pushed open my door, not waiting for Byuakuya to turn off the vehicle. Before I could step out he spoke up.

"You can leave your things; I'll grab them for you." His voice was tired and slightly raspy.

Ignoring his comment, I grabbed the bag I had packed weeks ago and started towards the door. I searched for my house key and after swiftly unlocking the front door; I took a few steps inside. I froze mid-step as her scent hit me; it was everywhere on everything. Tears built up in my eyes as I heard Byuakuya approach me. His feet were shuffling in but froze after a couple of steps. He must have noticed the aroma of the house like I did. I heard him sigh, sounding exhausted, before walking around me to go to his room. Still frozen, I watched as he stood in front of their bedroom door. His hand rested on the doorknob but he didn't move. After standing there for a few moments, he turned and came back down the short hallway until he reached the living room couch. After tossing his bag on the coffee table Byuakuya glanced up at me, a desperately sad expression resting on his face.

"If you're hungry I could order us something or pick you up something." His face had shifted as he tried to look neutral.

Again I didn't acknowledge him and blinked away a few tears before stomping towards my room. Once I reached my destination I slammed the door, locked it and threw my bag aside. I curled up in bed and cried myself to sleep, not even trying to hide my loud sobs.

The next morning I woke to the sound of glass clinking together. It sounded like Byuakuya was having a difficult time choosing his morning coffee mug. I pulled my pillow over my head, attempting to drown out the noise but was only flooded with Hisana's scent. I immediately sat up and rubbed my eyes, trying to ignore the overwhelming feelings of loss. After staggering down the steps, I found Byuakuya surrounded by half-filled cardboard boxes. He was packing away the glass cups and plates from the kitchen cabinet.

"What are you doing?" I reluctantly asked, my curiosity getting the best of me. He glanced up at me and gave me a weak smile.

"Good morning, Rukia." When he realized I wouldn't return the gesture, he looked around while his face grew slightly serious. "I think we should talk. Maybe you should have a seat." Again I hesitated before sitting at the opposite side of the kitchen table. "Rukia…I can't live here…" He shook his head before continuing. "I couldn't even go into our room last night. We can't stay without her, so…"

"So what?" I asked, giving him a slightly angry attitude.

"So I've decided that we're moving. I don't know when or how far, I just…can't stay in this house." Byuakuya was watching his hands as he spoke and his eyes gave away his exhaustion.

"What? You're uprooting my life and making me move because of a decision you made? I know its hard Byuakuya but you did this to us!" I stood angrily as my eyes began to water. "If you just would've listened to me!" My hands balled up into fists and Byuakuya lightly grabbed my wrist. My voice took on an irritated edge that I had heard in my sister's during the few arguments she had had with my brother.

Byuakuya stood with me and spoke quickly, trying to appease me. "Hisana please-" He cut himself off as tears slid down his face, realizing what he had said. Without another thought, I reached up and slapped him across the face.

"This is all your fault!" I exclaimed, selfishly ignoring his own feelings. "Don't talk to me." I pulled away from him and stormed off, heading back to my room.

A week after our argument, we had already moved into a new house in a new town and I was getting ready to go to a new school. Monday morning, my first day at Karakura High School, Byuakuya made me breakfast but I left it untouched and didn't even sit at the table. Once it was time to leave, we both piled into the car and headed towards the school. The ride was silent, void of any sound, including the radio. The high school wasn't very far and it only took us about ten minutes to reach our destination. As Byuakuya parked I pulled on my long socks that came with my school uniform and then slid into my shoes. In the corner of my eye I saw Byuakuya smile slightly at my old habit but I ignored him and tried to open my door. To my surprise it was locked and I looked over at my brother expectantly.

"Rukia…I'm really sorry you had to change schools but…I really hope you have a good day." He smiled indirectly at me. I continued to stare at him blankly until he unlocked my door and quickly got out of the car.

I made my way to the door and tried to find my way to the office. It took me nearly ten minutes to find the room and after given my schedule, I was sent away to find my classroom. I had fifteen minutes before school even started, which I was glad for. While stumbling through the groups of people, I had the feeling that I wasn't even close to my designated classroom. As I scanned the room numbers, I walked with my head turned to the side. With my attention elsewhere, I didn't see the people standing in front of me and abruptly walked right into someone, causing their books to fall all over the floor. The girl's eyes were wide and she stood there looking confused.

"I'm so sorry! Are you ok?" I asked frantically as I bent over to pick up her things. She quickly joined me and laughed it off.

"I'm fine, thanks. You look a little confused, are you new?" She stood and I followed her, handing her the books I knocked over. As I nodded to her question, I noticed the tall guy standing next to her. He had a long red ponytail and stood probably over six feet tall. He was leaning against a locker and observing with a small smile on his face. I turned my attention back to the girl that stood in front of me. She had short brown hair that almost reached her shoulders. Her bangs were pinned back out of her face and she had a friendly smile donning her face.

"I'm Michiru Ogawa and this is my friend Renji Abarai." She offered as she gestured towards the giant redhead.

"I'm Rukia Kuchiki, it's nice to meet you." I lazily bowed my head, not bothering to be too formal.

"What grade are you in?" Renji smiled down at me as he spoke.

"The 11th" I replied, tipping my head back to meet his gaze.

"Cool so you'll be in our class. We can show you how to get to class if you're lost." At Renji's words, Michiru nodded in agreement.

"Yeah definitely. We'd be happy to!" I shrugged slightly at their offer.

"Sure, thanks."

As we headed towards our classroom Michiru continued to talk about our schedule and what the school day was like. She offered to show me to my locker and asked if I wanted to eat lunch with her. I didn't think making friends would be this easy and doubted I'd even speak to anyone so soon anyways but with her kindness, it took minimal effort. Renji seemed just as friendly as Michiru but he didn't talk as much.

We reached the classroom and they led me to the teacher's desk. They introduced me and found out where I would be sitting. The two of them continued to follow me as I sat my school bag down. I was about to sit in my seat but Renji quickly grabbed my upper arm and pulled me a few steps away from my desk.

"We wanted to introduce you to our friends," Michiru claimed as Renji led me to a small bundle of people in the back of the class. "Hey guys, this is Rukia Kuchiki. She's new." Michiru smiled and nudged me closer to her friends. Without speaking I glanced around the circle of people and stepped back slightly, feeling overwhelmed. They all noticed my discomfort and I felt Renji's massive hand pat my shoulder before he took his spot next to a tall slim girl with long curly hair. Her large bright eyes shined as she grinned at me.

"It's nice to meet you, Rukia-chan." I froze momentarily as I heard her use the nickname Hisana had always called me. Between the overcrowding and the feelings of loss, I had to take another step back and cast my eyes down towards my feet as my vision blurred slightly. "Are you alright Rukia-ch" I cut the girl off and shook my head.

"It was nice meeting you all…" My eyes were still on my feet as I took yet another step away and turned towards my desk. No one tried to stop me but I figured Michiru was disappointed with me. I pushed that thought away as I rested my head in my hands and held in the tears that were fighting to escape. Everyone continued to talk and socialize until the bell rang. Then the teacher stood and everyone else took their seats. I saw a flash of orange in my peripheral vision and turned to see an angry looking, orange haired kid take the desk next to me. When his eyes met mine he smiled slightly before turning back to the teacher.

The class dragged by and I found it extremely hard to pay attention. Every couple of minutes my thoughts returned to my sister and how much I missed her. I didn't take any notes and can't remember a single thing that was said during that first lesson. After two more hours of other classes the teacher excused us for lunch and everyone but me stood. Kids began grouping together and heading out the room. I stayed seated and debated whether or not I even wanted to eat. After my rude actions, I doubted Michiru's offer was still up for grabs and I didn't feel like finding out. While starring out the window the teacher approached me, a concerned look on her face.

"Hey, Kuchiki. Aren't you ready for lunch?" She sat on the desk next to mine and smiled down at me in a friendly manner. She was probably informed about my situation.

"I'm not very hungry," I answered quietly and didn't raise my head to look at her directly.

"Are you sure?" Before I could answer, Michiru chimed in.

"It's okay sensai, she's eating with us. Right Rukia?" She walked up to my desk and smiled down at me, just as friendly as before.

"Uh…I suppose." The teacher nodded and smiled before standing. Her hand reached out and she patted my back.

"Alright then, if you need anything just ask Kuchiki." With that she went back to her desk, leaving me with Michiru and her group of friends.

"Are you ready?" Without looking up at her, I sighed quietly and nodded. I stood and followed her out tall the door. They led me to the schools ceiling where a few other groups were sitting and sat down in their designated spot. I ended up sitting between Michiru and some girl with black spikey hair. They hadn't yet been properly introduced and I still knew none of their names. Renji was aware of this and nudged Michiru lightly. She looked up and him and then at me.

"Oh," she stated, smiling at me. "We never got the chance to tell you everyone's names." She then began naming them all off rather quickly, giving me practically no chance to actually remember them. To my left was Tatsuki, the girl with dark spikey hair. She seemed quiet and sort of rough around the edges. Next to her was Kon, a scraggly kid with shaggy brown hair and who talked and laughed louder than appropriate. Then there was Ichigo, the orange-haired boy who was sitting next to me. He was quiet and had a constant glare on his face. To Ichigo's left there was Mina, the girl who earlier called me 'Rukia-chan' and who also appeared to be Renji's girlfriend. Renji sat next to her and on his other side was Hisagi. He had dark hair and a strange 69 tatoo on his face. Hisagi seemed fairly nice and laughed a lot, a smile constantly resting on his face. Next to him was Michiru who I assumed was dating the boy next to her.

They continued to talk through lunch and tried to involve me in any way possible. Most of the time I didn't make any effort to join in on their conversations and after a long period of time of silence Michiru turned the attention to me.

"So why did you move, Rukia?" Everyone stopped talking and turned to me for an answer.

"Uh…my brother just decided to move." My words came out evenly and I tried to keep my personal life to myself.

"He decided to move for no reason?" Renji looked down at me with a small smile on his face.

"Hm…" I responded with a shrug and received a few quiet laughs. My gaze was steady and blank as they looked among each other with slightly confused expressions on their faces.

"Oh that's interesting-" I cut Michiru off while shaking my head and sighed before speaking.

"My sister died…so my brother wanted to move out of our house." My voice grew smaller with every word and everyone was silent. Michiru laid her hand on my shoulder comfortingly but I pulled away as a slight glare formed on my face.

"…I'm sorry." Her hand rested in mid-air above my shoulder as she apologized. Again I shook my head and stood.

"I just don't want to talk about it." With that I turned and left, heading back to our classroom. I could feel all their eyes following me but did my best to ignore them. I sat at my desk and waited for class to start again.

At the end of the day Michiru came up to me and apologized again for making me uncomfortable and assured me she would "be more sensitive" to my situation. I told her it was fine and apologized for my rude behavior. After our conversation, I quickly headed to the exit so I could go home and isolate myself. As I was turning a corner, I accidentally walked into someone else. I quickly apologized and looked up to see that Ichigo kid standing in front of me.

"Oh, no I'm sorry. I wasn't watching where I was going." He looked down at me with a concerned expression on his face. He nervously scratched the back of his head before speaking again. "Um…I know you don't want to talk about your sister but…I'm really sorry for your loss." I quietly thanked him and headed towards the door. Ichigo walked a few steps behind me and once we were outside, he slightly waved and told me goodbye.

I headed for Byuakuya's car and pulled myself in swiftly. He greeted me with questions about my day but I refused to answer him. Every time I looked at him I could hear his words to the doctors, telling them to pull the plug. All the pain from the last few months came rushing back as soon as I was with him and I dreaded being home with him. A few tears slid down my face but I quickly wiped them away and rested my head on the window, thinking about how badly I missed my sister.

I hope you all enjoyed! Sorry this chapter was a little boring but it'll get more interesting and I have a plan/basic outline for the rest of the story. Please read and review, I can't wait to hear what you think of it! :)