Chapter 7: The Past Without a Penseive – The Deathly Hallows

"RONALD WEASLEY!" It was quite obvious that all the ginger family members of the Burrow were so accustomed to Molly's yelling – they hadn't budged at all. Hermione, Ron, and Harry were sitting in Ron's room. They were discussing plans again and Hermione could barely suppress her depression. They were on the brink of a war, her parents didn't know that she existed, Harry didn't really have any concrete locations for the Horcruxes, and Ron…Ron was leaving his entire family behind, the ghoul with spattergroit in the attic was not exactly a laughing matter.

George had lost an ear, Moody wad dead. How had things gotten to this point so quickly? Being honest with herself, she was still in shock. Following Dumbledore's funeral, things had happened so quickly she barely had a moment to let all these horrible things really sink in. What about going back to Hogwarts? What about completing her NEWTS? What about her and Ron? Her and Ron. Was there even a "her and Ron"? Last year he dated Lavender Brown and she wasn't over it. She wasn't over crying by herself over a boy when she should have been more focused on school and helping Harry. She wasn't over how he looked at her when kissed Lavender sometimes – as if he wanted her to know he was kissing someone else or maybe, he wanted to kiss her instead.

But if he wanted to so badly, then maybe he would have done it already. This yeah though, he glanced at her differently and she tried to be happy about it, but it was a sad look. He looked disappointed in her, she thought, as if he didn't want to be around her. All of these thoughts and emotions were ripping her heart apart just when she really needed it to be whole. She needed to protect her friends, they were the only thing that mattered at this point.

Ron rolled his eyes and pushed himself off the bed. "Bloody annoying." Without asking if he needed her assistance, Hermione got up and followed him downstairs. Harry lagged behind and when Hermione turned around, he had somehow made disappeared into Ginny's room.

"RONALD! HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO REMIND YOU THAT YOUR HAIR NEEDS CUTTING? AND THESE DISHES? WHEN WERE YOU PLANNING ON WASHING THEM? WAITING UNTIL THE DELACOURS ARE HERE AND THEY LEAVE IMMEDIATELY BECAUSE OF THE DISASTER THIS PLACE IS IN? MERLIN!" Ron walked into the kitchen, muttering under his breath with his hands in pockets. Hermione smiled, some things will never change.

Without a word he walked up to the sink and took out his wand. Hermione knew that Molly wouldn't appreciate that so she tried to save him the yelling and placed her hand over his and directed his wand back to his pocket. He looked down at her and she almost swooned. She was in love. He didn't scowl at her like he did at his mother. With preparations for the wedding, Molly was nearly tearing out her hair and every other moment another Weasley was being rounded on for either not cleaning or not cleaning enough.

But Hermione knew Ron was stressed and nervous. She knew her friend very well. He had circles under his eyes for someone who usually slept more than he was awake and he had lost a little bit of weight. He would never admit any of this to her but in what seemed to Hermione to be attempt to alleviate some stress, he stopped arguing with her. She'd get an occasional eye-roll when talking about new spells they needed to know or the books she planned on bringing with them but that wasn't new to her. After his normal eye-roll, he listened to her. He actually looked her in the eye with sincerity that shocked her and listened to her.

"I'll help you with the dishes. Your mother won't like it if we use magic. Let's do this the muggle way." She nudged him playfully, flirting unconsciously.

"But we're not muggles." Her nudged her back and smiled.

Hermione laughed and squeezed the soap on to the plates. He stood next to her and she realized that he wasn't really washing the dishes but he was looking at her. The side of her face was burning. The water in the sink rose and her hands dove under the surface to reach for another dish. He suddenly gained interest in the same dish and their fingers touched.

Without saying a word, he wrapped his pinky around hers. She dropped the plate, thankful for the suds. "Are you scared?"

"Terrified," and mortified and horrified, Hermione added mentally. What if something terrible happened to Ron or Harry…the thoughts entered her mind again and she tried her hardest to push them away but she couldn't. She loved them both so much that her heart hurt. What if they died and she never got the chance to tell Ron that she really needed him, more than he needed her? She begged that fate would deal her a good card and let them come out of this war unscathed – that way she could wrap her arms around his neck whenever she liked (as opposed to only doing it when she was relieved to see he was alive) even if it was just because he was her friend, even if that's all they would ever be. Hermione was in love, she reminded herself because although it was a sad feeling sometimes, it was a feeling.

"Don't be. I mean, well – be careful, still." Ron slightly tugged at her pinky. She was ready to hold his whole hand.

"I always am." Hermione was slightly taken aback, she was always careful…it was THEM who needed to be more safe.

"I know, I know that…I just, erm, stay close to me and Harry, will you? I'll keep you safe." When she realized that he wasn't trying to offend her and was simply worried about her, she was completely overcome with emotion. She lifted her hands out of the sink and stepped in between Ron and the counter. She wrapped her arms around him. There were people all over the house, she knew that, but they weren't here right now and if they were then she didn't care. Ron was her best friend. Her wet hands clutched at his shirt tightly and she pressed her cheek to his chest with all the strength she could muster. Ron's arms slowly lifted from the sink and in a surprise move that made Hermione jump (but not budge), he wrapped one arm around her shoulders, pulling her closer to him and his other hand pushed hair away from her face and caressed her cheek. How they got into this intimate position, Hermione was beginning to forget. All that she knew at this moment was that she felt so strongly for him. In her mind she repeated it over and over again. 'I love you, I love you, I love you, please…don't leave.'

As if he had heard her silent plea, he bent down. When Hermione sensed him moving, she regretfully let go of his shirt and placed her hands in front of her. His arm was still around her shoulder and his other slid from her cheek to her chin. She smelled the soap and figured that this would be another fragrance she'd associate with him.

"It's going to be rough. I don't…want to leave. But we're helping Harry and you've made so many sacrifices." Tears threatened to leave her eyes and she bit her lip. She looked down and remembered whispering Obliviate behind her parent's back. He lifted her chin back up. He too, looked almost as if he could cry. "Don't cry, 'Mione. It'll be alright." With that, she couldn't take it anymore and began to sob audibly. She hugged him again, another hug initiated by sadness. When he wrapped his arms around her this time though, he held her flush against his body instead of awkwardly stepping back.

"I'm so scared to lose you." Hermione whispered nervously, her voice shaking. He held her even a little tighter and inhaled deeply when she said it. In what seemed like an eon later, Ron replied. "You won't, I promise."

At the time, Hermione believed him full-heartedly not caring what really lie ahead.

Not much longer after that night, Bill and Fleur we're getting married. Viktor Krum had made Ron very apparently jealous. Harry was looking nothing at all like Harry. And Hermione was dancing…with Ron. They had been staring at each other the entire night and when Ron had finally said "come and dance," Hermione felt as if she could die of happiness.

He looked fantastic in those wizard robes. Molly finally convinced him to get a haircut and Hermione was missing the locks of hair that played at the nape of his neck. She got to see his blue eyes better though, and they were focused on her face. Sometimes she could almost swear his eyes left hers and dared to look lower at her lips. She summed that up to her imagination, as usual.

"It's so bloody hot in here." Ron had his hands on her waist confidently. Hermione smiled at him but said "Language, Ronald. It's your brother's wedding." Her hands were on her shoulders and she remembered the freckles she counted under his robes. She wished she could see them right now. She shook her head and felt ashamed. Her cheeks were furiously red.

"It's still hot! Look, you even look hot!" Ron looked up immediately after noting his choice of words.

"Do you want to…um, just go outside the tent for some air…just for a bit." Hermione tried to savor the moment. Ron nodded and quickly guided her outside. She looked at him and almost tripped over her uncomfortable heels. He pulled her toward a tree near the house and pulled her in front of him.

"It's so much better out here." He sighed and put his hands in his pockets, then he took them out and pulled at his ears, and then he put them back.

"What's wrong?" She giggled and realized she was acting like a daft twelve year old girl.

"Ah…nothing, just a little overwhelmed with the wedding, I suppose."

"What's there to be nervous about? You're not getting married, silly."

"May as well be with the whole deal my mum made about it." They both had to laugh at that. Hermione's heart was beating hardly against her ribcage and she leaned on the damp tree behind her. Even in the dark she could see Ron's blush. "When I get married, I hope it's not that big of a fuss. If I ever get married that is."

"You will. One day." Hermione didn't want to hear him say that it may not happen because he might die in the coming months – she knew that's where the conversation was headed.

Ron gazed at her. He stepped a bit close and soon enough she could feel his breath on her face. Ah, spearmint toothpaste. He did that thing again – where he caressed her cheek but this time is was so ridiculously slow that his hand may have not been moving. His lips parted and so did hers. If this was the moment she'd been waiting for, she didn't know if she could handle holding back her words. She'd probably confess everything if he kissed her right now. But he was coming closer and closer and she couldn't move, maybe she wouldn't do anything at all and stand there like a bump on a log. Then what would he think?

She shut her eyes and suddenly she felt his lips brush against her cheek where his hand had been. When had he even moved it? Against her cheek he spoke softly, causing Hermione to stop breathing altogether. "You look really, really nice tonight." He moved back and tucked a curl behind her ear. If she could meet his eyes, she wondered what they'd say: I love you too. I'm scared.

"T-thank you," was what she could muster at the time. When she looked back up at him and saw the care that lingered in his eyes she found the strength to reply. "So do you." After smiling at each other for a while, they were interrupted by Fred and George making whistling noises as they walked in to the house.

"Let's go back in." Ron angrily walked back to the tent, but he held Hermione's hand still. She didn't care about the twin's making fun of them. Ron had kissed her.

Inside the tent, Ron went to go get them drinks and Hermione joined an awkward Harry…he looked uncomfortable and depressed. In an instant, he would have more of a reason to be.

Kingsley Shacklebolt's patronus shone in the center of the tent, silencing the celebration. Her ears rung as he warned them that the ministry had fallen. She almost blacked out and before she could react to the news, Death Eaters tore through the fabric of the tent and immediately began hexing people. Why? Why was this happening to such good people.

Harry looked at her from across the table and they shared the same look of fear – where was Ron? "Ron! Ron! Where are you?" She ran through the throng of people on the verge of tears. This wouldn't be the last time she saw him, that wouldn't be the last time he kissed her, she wouldn't let it.

"RON!" In an instant, his arms wrapped around her and his face projected her emotions – fear, relief, and love. Harry grabbed on to her hand and without thinking much more of the situation, Hermione apparated with her boys.