Disclaimers, acknowledgements, notes, warnings, etc: Please see Chapter 01.

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The Sound of Music Chronicles

Part I

The Twelfth Governess

Chapter 41

A wet dress and an apology

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"Is not the most erotic part of the body wherever the clothing affords a glimpse?"

Roland Barthes

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"A dress makes no sense unless it inspires men to want to take it off you."

Françoise Sagan

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"Of all the things you wear, your expression is the most important."

Janet Lane

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"Do you mind explaining the meaning of this?"

He was pointing to her sodden skirt.

Maria looked down at herself, thinking that she had been wrong believing that he would not say anything about her walking around the house dripping lake water everywhere. Perhaps he could fire her twice in a day. What would he do now?

The wet clothes had been only the last item in the list of her problems. As she went upstairs to pack, she realized that she had absolutely nothing to wear. All the few dresses she possessed were either dirty or torn, and there was no power on earth that would convince her to look for Frau Poppmeier to see if any of them was already in a wearable condition. While she listening to the children downstairs, going through every song she had taught them in the past weeks, all she could do was to change into some dry underwear and leave. Oh, it would have broken her heart to leave like that, without saying goodbye to them, and leaving her guitar behind.

Naturally she could not reveal that to him. It would be too… humiliating.

"Well, I certainly would appreciate a few explanations myself, Captain," she blurted, in a desperate attempt to change the subject and the focus of his attention.

He had sent her away, hadn't he? Did he plan to hold her guitar hostage for some mad reason? Then why did he introduce her to Uncle Max as the governess? And how dare he question her choice of clothes? What mattered to him if she decided to walk all the way to Switzerland in a wet dress?

"Max, could you give us a moment, please?" he asked Herr Detweiler, without looking away from her.

"Ah, certainly. I'll be in the drawing room. Georg. Fräulein," he bowed politely, leaving the foyer immediately through the drawing room, with the strangest smile in his face.

Now there she was, alone with him.

"Fräulein? I believe I asked you a question," he insisted. His voice was insisting, but gentle. He did not yell at her as she would have expected.

"Yes, you did. Oh… well… you told me to pack and leave immediately, and that is what I was doing. Uh – at least that is what I was trying to do. I would never manage to do as you asked if I had to worry about staining your precious carpets."

"Never mind the accursed carpets. What are you still doing in wet clothes? Was I right about your self-destructive tendencies and your predisposition for martyrdom, perhaps?"

Maria heard the muffled sound of a giggle coming from the door to the drawing room.

"Max," the Captain said between clenched teeth.

Herr Detweiler´s head appeared from behind the door.

"I couldn´t help overhearing that one. I only would like to know why you are making such a fuss about a wet dress, Georg. The little Fräulein is merely trying to leave the house as you told her to do..." The Captain´s only response was a furious flare, cold enough to make the waters of the lake outside freeze. Naturally Uncle Max caught the meaning of it.

"All right, all right, now I am the one who should leave," said Herr Detweiler already disappearing behind the door.

"Now, Fräulein," he turned to her again.

"No, certainly not. Oooh… The truth is that… ehm… oh well," she shrugged, resigned. There was no way out of it; she would have to tell him, as embarrassing as it was. She did so in what she believed was a firm, nonchalant voice.

"I did not have anything else to wear, Reverend Captain."

He raised one patrician eyebrow.

"What about the dresses you made with the fabrics I had sent to you that first day?"

"If you must know…"

Herr Detweiler had a point. Why the fuss? Why was he being so insistent about such a meaningless detail? Why was it so important to him all of a sudden? Less than one hour before he was bellowing in rage that he wanted her out of her sight, and now he was trying to make small talk with her.

Oh, he couldn´t be displeased by the possibility that she might be taking the dresses with her, could he? Well, he needn´t worry about that, he would have his precious dresses to give them whatever destination he had in mind after they were properly washed, ironed, and, in the case of the torn one, mended.

"Indeed I must!"

"Ehm… Very well, if you insist, I will make it all perfectly clear to you with a complete report." When he nodded, apparently satisfied with her answer, she continued. "Brigitta threw up in one of them last night because…" she bit her lips, realizing that she might be placing the poor girl in trouble because she had been reading during dinnertime. "Well, she was quite sick, and she… oh well, you know, you don´t need the graphic details."

"Fräulein…"

"Believe me, Captain, you don´t." She took a breath. "The… the one with the stripes was torn after I got stuck in a tree."

"You found yourself stuck in a tree again?" he asked, incredulously, undoubtedly remembering her previous tree incident.

"It was not exactly my fault this time …."

"No, it never is, is it?" he said, as if to himself. She heard his comment, and was not amused – her eyes shot daggers at him. "What about the hideous thing you brought from the convent?"

"I'm afraid it was badly soiled after had to help bringing three kittens into the world the other day…"

"I will certainly want to hear everything about these kittens later, Fräulein." It was odd – he was not being sarcastic, he was not mocking her, he did not even sound angry. "Stay where you are for the moment, please," he said, as she motioned to continue descending the stairs.

What made it all more unsettling was the expression in his face when he looked up at her again, after a quick look inside the drawing room to make sure that Herr Detweiler was gone from the premises. He practically looked like another man altogether, a man she did not know in person yet, but had just glimpsed when she saw him singing with the children. Almost like the legendary Captain the children raved about…

"Fraulein..."

What on earth was going on?

His words were given him every indication that she had indeed been fired, that the curious little debate about what had happened to her dresses happened only because he was the Captain, and he would always want to know everything. Biting her lips, she tried her best to hold his gaze, and discovered, in that instant, that, for some reason, it was a lot easier to do that when he was angry.

"Please," she pleaded bravely. "I don´t know why you are delaying me, Captain, but it will be dark soon. The… my bus leaves in ten minutes, and if I miss it there won't be another one until tomorrow morning. I still have to fetch my guitar case in the gazebo."

"There is no reason to fret; I'll have it fetched for you. Forget the bus," he added, dismissively. "I will drive you myself, if necessary."

"You?" She looked absolutely dumbfounded.

"Oh, I assure you, Fräulein, I can drive… Better than you can handle a skiff, at least."

She let out one of outraged little moans.

"Show off," she mumbled. His lips curving into a smile were the only indication that he had heard her. She shrugged, no longer caring if he indeed had.

"I'll drive you to your Abbey if you still wish to go after… after I talk to you."

"But Captain, I don´t understand. You just fired me…"

"Can't you stop being difficult just for a moment, Fräulein?"

"Difficult? Me? Forgive me, but it is you who is not making any sense, Captain."

"Then I will make myself perfectly clear, if that is what you wish."

"It is. Thank you."

"It doesn't matter if I fired you or not. I obviously cannot allow you to return to Salzburg in such a state. Not when I gave the Reverend Mother every reassurance that no harm would come to you in this house."

She rolled her eyes in amusement.

"Oh, do not worry, I am not harmed, Captain. This dress will be dry before I even get into the bus. It is quite a walk to the village and by the time I get there I am sure…"

Her voice trailed away, as she caught him staring at her with the most unspeakable expression in his face.

"Captain?"

It was almost as if she were a little daft, as if there was something meaningful about her dress being wet that she did not quite grasp. At the same time, there was something in his eyes that was so intense that she was unable to hold his gaze any longer. Feeling her cheeks grow strangely warm, she lowered her gaze.

He spoke then, very seriously.

"If you think for a moment that I will allow you to wander alone in the dark dressed like that, Fräulein, I…"

Her head was bowed low because she had been avoiding his eyes. When he said those words, she saw exactly what he meant; she saw it right in the direction of her eyes. Her head snapped up instantly. She crossed her arms in front of her chest, with an outraged little moan.

How could she have been so naïve, or so distressed that she did not notice her own condition before? What was it about her that, when angry, she would forget everything else except for her anger, even herself? The fabric of her bodice covered her as best as her habit ever would under normal circumstances, but when wet, it was sheer, so that…

"Oh no, no, no!" she swallowed. It was so horribly embarrassing. Even now, with the fabric almost dry, her attire was still revealing, to say the least, especially around her bosom.

What was she turning to?

In her first day in the house, she fell on top of Captain von Trapp and was unable to control her hysterical laugher as he tried to disentangle himself from her. Now she was parading in front of him, his guests, and his children, in wet clothes that were horribly revealing. Had he been the only one to notice that? Why anyone else didn't say anything to her until she had to hear it from him?

He seemed to have read her thoughts.

"You don't have to derogate yourself, Fräulein. I tried not to offend your delicate sensitivities, but I failed miserably. I... behaved badly. I apologize," he said softly.

"No, I'm…" At first she was not sure exactly what he was apologizing for – if for their fight or for pointing out the state of her clothes. Among all options, she chose the safest one, for the time being.

"I don´t think I made it any easier for you. I'm far too outspoken. It's one of my worst faults."

He shook his head.

"It is not just that, Fräulein, although we will discuss that matter in a moment. I had no right to… embarrass you about. – uh - your attire. Not when the first thing I heard from you after you fell on the water was a request to go inside and change."

"A request which you denied," she added, accusingly, now self consciously tightening her arms against her chest.

"Guilty as charged. You were right about that and many other things as well." He paused briefly before saying, "I don't know my children."

When she heard the admission that was so evidently painful to him, Maria softened. Her arms relaxed and fell to the side. Maybe she had not vanquished the Sphinx, but maybe she had weakened him a little. There could be hope after all. She held on to the banister, and leaned down a little to talk to him.

"There's still time, Captain. They want so much to be close to you."

"I know… Tell me, am I as difficult as you are, perhaps -Fräulein?" he asked slowly and carefully, almost as if he were bracing herself for another one of her verbal attacks.

She gave him the blunt, honest answer that he clearly expected of her.

"Much more, Captain! At least as far as your children's upbringing is concerned."

"O-ho, yes. You have stated your opinion very, very clearly about that."

"I know I went too far, but as I said, you had to hear it from someone!"

Maria took the opportunity to stress her points of view more clearly and less emotionally his time. Ignoring the frown that was once again threatening to appear in his forehead, she continued, this time in a much leveled tone. "Now you have nothing to lose, Maria – you've lost it all," she told herself, before taking a deep breath and using what could be the last opportunity to help that family.

"I may not have much experience with family life, but I have lived enough to know that children belong together with their parents. Naturally, when the father is traveling all the time..." He frowned at her, and the haughty aristocrat again swiftly returned. There was, however, more than just annoyance in his penetrating gaze.

"Fräulein…"

"I am sorry; I did not mean to meddle again. If you could just let me go now… I need to… to catch that bus!"

It was odd, but he seemed to be no longer listening to her babble. But he was looking at her, really looking. Not at the wet dress and what it revealed, but to her. Maria did not think anyone had ever gazed at her so attentively before, with such… wonderment? Scrutiny?

"I must be seeing things," she thought. "The lake water I swallowed must have affected my sanity…"

"I assure you that everything you said will be considered in due time."

"It will?"

"Yes. Congratulations, Fräulein – that is one battle you won. For the moment only, I am not ready to concede you complete victory yet."

"No, I imagine you would not, Captain," was her honest remark.

"There is something else I have in mind, however. Something much more meaningful and important. Something else that you have done."

Her heart sank.

"Now what?" she asked herself. What else had she done? It had not been the meddling, not the wet floor, not the state of her clothes, not the children's play clothes. That left only…

He provided her with the answer, but not with words she would ever expect to hear from him.

"You've brought... music back into the house. I had forgotten." His eyes were so painfully blue, so expressive when he said that that they burned her. She could not look away.

"Music?" she whispered, and tried to bring out her thoughts back to the word, and not in his eyes.

Music was something that was always part of her life, even in the darkest days of her childhood, and she had never stopped for a moment to think what it could mean to live without it. She certainly never had, never even tried to. How could anyone live without music? Yet, the Captain had survived three years pretending that it simply not existed, and, what was worse, keeping his children from enjoying what was obviously a natural talent the whole family possessed. The mysterious grand piano that she was yet to see, locked away a dusty attic, was a symbol of all that – of how much music once meant to this man and his family, and how much it meant for all of them to have it back.

She remember Frau Poppmeier rambling about the piano while they were working on the children's play clothes:

"Twelve strong men. That was how many of them were needed to lift the piano up there. Since it could not possibly be carried through the narrow stairs to the attic, they had to use the window. It wasn't large enough, so it had to be broken, and part of the wall surrounding it. The Captain did not mind any of that mess. He would not mind bringing the whole house down, if necessary. All he wanted was the Bösendorfer out of his sight."(1)

Would he want the piano back where it belonged now?

How many doors and windows would be willing to break this time in order to finally have music fully back in the house? Would what she had accomplished be enough, not only to bring music back, but to bring a father to his children as well? How many of his own strict rules he would have to willingly break before that happened?

"When the Lord closes a door…" she started to quote the Reverend Mother, but he stopped her.

"Fraulein." She looked at him again, the look in his eyes more than enough to render her speechless. "I want you to stay," he smiled contritely. "I ask you to stay."

It took her a few seconds to fully process what he had just said, and to convince herself that he had actually said it.

I want you to stay. I ask you to stay…

Those words would follow her for the months to come. There would not be a day when she would not remember them. There would not be a night she would not dream about the moment when he said them. Words that would haunt her, but also, in the end, give her hope. Finally, although it would be weeks before she realized it, words that had been the first indication that a new window had finally opened itself for her.

"If I could be of any help," she said, her hands gripping the banister once more, feeling the solid wood beneath her fingers convince her that she was indeed awake.

"Oh Lord, please, let me stay," she prayed inwardly.

He wanted her to stay. He asked her to stay.

"You have already. More than you know." Their eyes met again. "But…"

Maria felt apprehensive again. There always had to be a "but" with him. She decided to speak up before he said anything else.

"I'll try to live by your rules from now on. I'll try, I promise I will!"

He smirked.

"Fräulein, I was under the impression that young postulants such as yourself were taught at the Abbey not to make promises they certainly will not be able to keep. That is one rule that I certainly live by. I never break a promise," he said, his eyes unbearably intense.

Yes, he had a point, hadn't he? If he indeed allowed her to stay, he knew as well as she knew that in less than one day, she would be finding a way to defy him, in spite of herself. His behavior was still puzzling – she simply could not read what was going on in his mind. He wasn't angry, he wasn't mocking her. It was almost like if he admired her stubbornness.

He took a few steps forward. She thought he was going to climb up the stairs to meet her halfway, but he simply rested his right leg in the first step.

"And since both of us obviously take our promises very seriously, I must tell you that I too, shall try."

Her eyes widened.

"I am not sure I follow you, Captain."

"Oh yes, you do, Fräulein. You follow me perfectly." His look was meaningful enough to let her understand the rest of his message. He would not allow her to do as she pleased, to break all the rules concerning the running of the household and the children's upbringing all at once. After all, he was still the Captain, the head of the house. His word was still the law within the grounds of the Trapp villa, just as it once was in the strict confines of his U-boats. If she wanted to make changes, she would have to convince him first that they were necessary.

Oh, that would be tiring. Maria immediately concluded that she would have to prepare herself for at least one battle of day. It was something that she would not mind – on the contrary, something that she would look forward to. Not only it would be for a very good cause – he was certainly a worthy opponent.

"I see that you understood my message," he added, ironically. "Yes, you are staying until September. I'll be honest; I am not sure if it is even wise of me to ask you to stay, but for some reason I want you to stay. I need you to." His voice, which had softened when he said the last few words, hardened again. "However, I would very appreciate if you tried to control the amount of – uh - chaos you bring into this house." She swallowed. "I am having dinner in town with my guests tonight," he informed. "I am expecting you in my study tomorrow, at 10 in the morning, so that we can start discussing about my children's musical education - or lamentable lack thereof. Try not to be late, will you please?"

She nodded. "Very well, Captain! I'll see about the children and their dinner now."

With a gentlemanly bow and a quick, half smile, the Captain strode back to the drawing room.

There – it was done.

Her sigh of relief was audible – in fact, she wanted to shout her feelings. Instead, she merely clasped her hands, and smiled. Looking heavenward, she thanked the Lord.

She was staying. She passed the test – she was officially a governess now. Oh, she already had a million ideas dancing around her head, about what to do with the children for the next couple of months.

"When the Lord closes a door, somewhere He opens a window," she chanted, skipping as she made her way to the nursery.

End of Part I of "The Sound of Music Chronicles"

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A/N: (1) Bösendorfer is considered to be one of the eldest piano manufacturers in the world. The company was founded in Austria, in 1828.