.

.

I love you.

.

.

b e l i e v e r

They don't know
how it began
It just did.

.

beads of sweat run down
his face, and his
lips are closed in
an unheard cry.
she purses her lips and
smooths his hair
down and touches
his forehead for a f e v e r.
his eyes are covered and
his hand is twisted in
the bedsheets.
("I know he hates me. He does.")
and she doesn't say anything because
what is there l e f t to say?

.

rain patters on the
windowsill and she sits still
by it's glossy surface.
his silhouette is in the d i s t a n c e
so close and she can see
the blond of his hair
the pallor of his skin
the way he w a l k s in a limp
the way blood trickles down his arm.
("I'm home.")
barely.
she runs out in the cold
thunders t o r m and feels the rain
silvers on her arm and legs
and her dress hugs her thin body
and he looks at her like he can't see
because he can't recognize her
she's sure ("You idiot. You were supposed
to come back to me
safe.")
but she starts to wonder
when has he last kept his promise?

.

cigarette stains on his
lips, his face taunted, his
eyes d u l l e d and his voice
calling her name
reduced to whispers
that still d a n c e in the night.
("I'm sorry. I didn't mean it to happen this way.")
but as she thinks
sherealizes that nothing
ever happens the way we w a n t it to.
she wishes to know
what happened to the boy who
kissed her on the cheek and never a d m i t t e d it
who smiled at her between the fences
and p r o m i s e d her the world. "Would you still
get the sky for me?"
such a silly promise.
("Of course I will. Anything.")
but he promised her the world.
she just had to dream, exactly
where was the world n o w?

.

the lines that pronounce his l i f e
have never been more
clearer to her than now and
she wants to erase them
all. she wants to
draw new ones in place
of the old and show him
that the sky was blue and the
g r a s s was still green and that
time was still waiting and
so was she, that
he had a home even
if he didn't w a n t to admit it.
and she was thinking about how
he looked at the world with
different eyes. ("Don't you trust me?")
it took her a s e c o n d
to reply.
"More than the world."
more than anything.

.

he's that bad boy that
sits on the leather seat of his
motorcycle, but the p r o b l e m
is that he doesn't have one
because they were death traps.
(His brother was worried.)
and he didn't want to die.
she thinks about
how the boy she once k n e w
destroyed himself
s l o w l y and buried himself six
feet under. how he
looked at her with those e y e s
lit by insanity.
strangely, she was addicted
to the way he smiled
to the way he l i v e d
to the w a y he smirked and
someh o w she let herself fall
so deep enough to
break. but he was not
c o m p l e t e l y gone and somehow
he had caught her
six feet under.

.

(That boy is a monster.)
with his jacket and r e d stained hands
that gleam i n v i t i n g l y inside dark
nights and burning m o r n i n g
suns. he smiles at her from
across the table and r e a c h e s over
k i s s i n g her on the cheek
and it burns but she doesn't care.
("I love you.") because he
really means it.
so she smiles and giggles
because somew h e r e inside her
she believes - no, she knows
that she will kiss him back.
"I love you too."
funny thing was,
she actually meant it,
even though she was sure that
his e y e s, lit by insanity
and the fever of no hope
that was c r u s h i n g him
was more attractive
than any model boy in
any magazine
was to her.

.

addictive, he was to
(That boy is a monster.)
her brain, her functions, how
she lived and b r e a t h e d and
loved. his lips, his f a c e, his
smiles, his smirks, his t e a r s
that were as clear as
broken g l a s s that
she barely got to see.
("You can't love me.")
he was a f r a i d
of falling because he
knew for sure that there
was no one to catch him.
she c r i e d because she
knew that she wasn't
strong enough to
hold him up when he fell
and even though he still
smiled at her and loved her
and promised the w o r l d
to her and brought to sky
to her lips and s o l d his heart
for hers she still knew
that inside,
he was just as broken
like fragile g l a s s
like his tears
just as she w a s.
("I already do.")

.

he was a nice boy
once a upon a time.
but now was happily ever after
and he was n o t h i n g near
what he used to be.
what she used to make him
out to be. he was not
her dreams, n o t her
expectations, not
her anything. but she managed
to someh o w make a place for
him in her warm, s o f t heart
and he knew that he could
n e v e r repay her for
what she's done to him all
these years.
(Because she struts through
the halls with her
goddamn curvy hips.)
but it's more than that.
it's much more than that, he
thinks, he b e l i e v e s, hard
and desperate as he grips
onto something nonexistent
and he m a n a g e s to keep her
close to him, eyes lit by the f e v e r of
insanity.
(That boy is a monster.)

.

while he is in chains she
comes and visits him her
e y e s still that beautiful blue
that he fell in love with
and her h a i r still that shiny lemon
that he adores and her
smile that still rivaled
the g l e a m of the sun.
she teaches him the power
of how something so s m a l l and
insignificant can affect one's
life so much ("It's just a
piece of automail, Win.")
and change it as much as
she did. she teaches him
what it means to be ("Your
hands are not meant
for killing.")
part of a w h o l e.
what it means to be together.
("Make me an apple pie for when
I get back!")
she t e a c h e s him that believing
is part of dreaming
("I love you.")
and dreaming is part of
("I love you.")
living, and living is part of
("I love you.")
loving, and loving is part of
("I love you.")
life, and life is part of
("I love you.")
d e a t h, and d e a t h is part of
("I love you.")
dreaming. dreaming is for
them b o t h, who have no
hope to c h a s e.
(That girl is a monster.)
("I love you.")

.

she taught him that
no matter how much pain you
go through, how much you f a c e
as long as she was by
his side and as long as he was
by hers, they would turn out
just fine, because
their hearts had always
and f o r e v e r will
beat as
o n e.

.

("I love you.")
("More than you can imagine.")
("More than the whole world.")
("I love you.")

.

.

fin.