Afterword
"I was hoping you had forgotten," Zaknafein said irritably.
The Author smirked. "Well, it's my first long 'fic in a… very long time, so I decided to give you the honour of being in the afterword instead of dragging S'kaerik and Nalfein into it as I had originally planned. Aren't you proud?"
He sighed. "A year of life does not seem to have added much to your mental capacity, it seems."
"Like a few decades didn't add much to your 'mental capacity'," the Author retorted. "All that business with Drizzt…"
"He was my son," Zaknafein said defensively.
"If I had him as my son, I'd have added infanticide to my crimes. And you could have killed him nicely over that acid pit fight. I mean, don't you irrationally like being an undefeatable champion?"
"Irrationally?"
"It's something you males seem to take very seriously. In your case, it's fighting, here, it's being top in games. Just look in Battle.net."
"I have no idea what you are talking about," Zaknafein said flatly. "And if you intend to make small talk with me then I'm going to sleep."
"Go on," the Author said, with an evil smirk. "I'm within reach of my bookshelf."
Zaknafein rubbed the space between his eyes. "All right, all right. I will comment."
"And about time, too."
"Why did you put Intersections between Parts?"
"Well, I wanted at first to merge the timelines together – hence all the mention about time machines in the first few Intersections – but decided it'd be far too stupid, so I settled for this instead. Was going to reflect the 'second chance' with Nalfein – that is to say, S'kaerik having given him another way to live… but decided that ending the last Intersection the same way as the last Part would be too trite. Are you awake?"
Zaknafein woke up abruptly and caught 'The Concise Oxford Dictionary', all hardcovered 1,452 pages of it as it hurtled towards him, and set it down on the desk, unperturbed. "Fine, fine. At least you did not integrate the idea of having me reappear in the Intersections."
"Well yes, because I suddenly decided to write Nalfein in instead of you. After all, the next 'fic is still going to be about you…"
"Are you really going to write the serious 'slash' pairing?" In the distastefully fastidious way Zaknafein dropped the inverted commas over the word 'slash', one could easily guess at his feelings towards the idea.
"Maybe, if no one bribes me."
"And this bribe would be…?"
"Paying for my livejournal would be nice," the Author smirked. "But no one's going to spend US$25 on me, so maybe I'd just write it. Or maybe not. I haven't decided which one would be more fun."
Zaknafein shuddered. "Don't."
"Then you could convince me that you don't have homosexual tendencies," the Author said, the smirk widening.
"Are you concealing a 'Mary Sue' inside your Afterword?" Zaknafein asked suspiciously, though he carefully edged away from the Author.
"Oh, don't worry," the Author said, with a dismissive wave. "I'm currently playing with someone else."
"That green-haired young human with three katanas I saw earlier on the way up?"
"Eheh. Did he try to challenge you?"
"Yes… something about wanting to be the top swordsman, or something." Zaknafein shrugged philosophically. "There seems to be a lot of strange people around here lately. When was the last time you did any housekeeping?"
"Um… anyway, about Zoro – the human – don't fight him, okay? Chances are, you both will react in the same way if either of you lose. You males and your preoccupation with winning. In any case, return to the topic… Jarlaxle, or Entreri?"
"What?"
"If I make a serious slash pairing, would you rather be with Jarlaxle or Entreri? I mean, I threatened to make it Entreri, but writing Jarlaxle is great fun too. Or do you want both at once?"
Zaknafein shot her a Look that said quite plainly that he'd rather be tortured slowly in the Abyssal Plane than have to partake in this conversation.
"Well, both are cute," the Author grinned wickedly. "I guess it depends on whether you like muscles or…"
"Must we do this?" Zaknafein asked plaintively.