A/N: Hm...warnings, mentions of non-con, slash...same warning as all the other chapters. if you're this far in and haven't read the warnings, shame on you. And don't complain if you see something you don't like now. -wags finger- Anyway, off to the fic.

After he was finally done, Reid just laid there, allowing himself to process everything he felt. He felt...guilty, confused, and ashamed. There had to have been a better way to do this...drugging Hotch wasn't the answer. Sure, it made sense at the time. Less chance of rejection if he just did this and left Hotch's life. He barely spared Hotch a glance as he flew out of bed, his stomach beginning to roll.

Reid barely made it to the toilet, dropping to his knees, before he began dry-heaving. His fingers gripped the porcelain so tightly his knuckles turned white. There was no excuse for what he did. His body shook as he rested his head against the toilet. His breathing was coming in short gasps as he tried to calm down, at least slightly. He knew one thing...he would still have to transfer to a different department. How could he look at Hotch the same way now...?

Even with all that he'd just admitted...Hotch would never see it that way. He'd raped the man. And he knew it. He took a shuddering breath and forced himself to stand. He slowly walked out to his living room and began cleaning up. He paused, his mind formulating a plan. It was horrible...but in order to save his friendship with Hotch... He steeled himself. If he put out alcoholic drinks, and pretended they'd merely slept together...it'd be better for Hotch than finding out he'd been raped by a co-worker.

He grabbed two glasses and poured some of the wine he had in it. It was a housewarming present from forever ago, so he didn't mind wasting it. He then headed back to his room, his heart pounding. He went into the bathroom and grabbed a rag, wetting it. He cleaned Hotch off before doing the same to himself and throwing the cloth into the laundry basket.

He stood at the foot of his bed for the longest time, debating just sleeping on his couch. But, that wouldn't work with his plan. He sighed and curled up on the side Hotch wasn't on, staying away from him for now. He was afraid to touch him. After all, hadn't he done enough damage?

He squeezed his eyes shut and forced himself to calm down enough to sleep. Surprisingly, falling asleep wasn't as hard as he'd expected it to be.

~ o ~

Hotch was the first of the two to wake up. He blinked a few times, confused by his surroundings. He sat up slowly and winced, apparently jarring his well fucked hole. He looked over to see Reid curled up. Bits of what had happened flooded through his mind, mainly: Reid on top of him, thrusting and Reid and himself kissing. Oh...God...he'd screwed Reid. He must have coerced the younger man into it...probably by drinking. His stomach sank. It would explain the memory loss he had from the time he'd set the papers down to now.

Reid rolled over suddenly, his eyes opening. He saw how pale Hotch was, and his heart rate increased. "Are you all right, Hotch?"

Hotch jumped when Reid's voice cut through his musing. "Um...yes. Just out of curiosity...what happened last night?"

Reid blinked, and took a breath. "We...ah, had too much to drink. And then we had...sexual relations." His voice faltered at the end, and he hoped Hotch would chalk it up to embarrassment.

However, when Hotch heard the falter, he knew Reid wasn't being honest. Though he thought that he, in fact, had forced himself upon Reid. He closed his eyes , guilt flooding him.

Reid watched Hotch, and mistakenly assumed that he'd been right. Hotch would never love him...That didn't make what he did right though. He took a silent, shaking breath and waited for Hotch to yell at him. He really did deserve it, after all.

Hotch opened his eyes slowly and looked over at Reid. The man looked terrified. "So...where do we go from here?" His voice was halting as he spoke.

"Where...where do you want to go?" Reid asked, before adding, "If you want we can pretend none of this ever happened." The last part was spoken rapidly.

Hotch's suspicions grew at the way Reid was speaking and acting. He did something to Reid...he just couldn't remember, and that was killing him. He bit his lip and shrugged. "Whatever you want."

Reid instantly relaxed. It looked like Hotch had bought his story. He stood up and went to his closet to get clothing, using it as a distraction. He grabbed an outfit suitable for work and headed off to his bathroom. He stopped in mid-step, biting his lip. Hotch only had what he'd worn yesterday. "Uh..."

Hotch caught the issue immediately. "I have my go bag, and I always keep a change of clothing in my office. You never know when a pen will explode." He shrugged and found his clothing folded on the hamper by the door, which Reid had done while he was cleaning everything else up. He grabbed it and waited for Reid to go into the bathroom before changing.

Reid gave a nod and hurried into the bathroom. He changed quickly, and by the time he came out, Hotch was also dressed. He chewed his lip again before looking at his alarm clock. They had to go. He glanced at Hotch, waiting for him to leave first. After all, he had to lock up.

Hotch went to the door, then paused. He felt so incredibly guilty. "...See you at work," he muttered, before leaving to go to his own vehicle. He drove to the office quickly, wanting to talk to Rossi before they had to actually work. He pulled in, and nearly ran to the elevators. The moment the elevators landed on his floor, he strode to Rossi's office and knocked.

"Come in," was the gruff reply given. Hotch opened the door, and stuck his head in.

"Can I talk to you?" Hotch asked, resting against the doorjamb while waiting. His heart was pounding as he waited.

"Sure. What's going on?" he asked, noting the slight anxiety in Hotch's eyes. Not many people would catch it, but Rossi knew Hotch, oh so well. He waited as Hotch sat down, fighting back a wince and gather his thoughts.

"I think I raped Reid last night," Hotch stated. Oh, saying the words aloud, the actual admission burned him. It tore a hole in his heart.

Rossi fought to keep the shock off his face. "That doesn't sound like you. What happened, exactly?" His profiling abilities were taking over, helping him assess the situation.

"I...don't exactly remember. I was drunk. What I do remember is Reid on top of me...us kissing." He swallowed thickly. "And Reid's been acting strange since, acting awkward."

"Hotch. This is Reid we're talking about. He's never had a relationship, so he was probably embarrassed. And afraid you'd be, hell if I know, upset? Have you talked to him?"

"No," Hotch answered. What Rossi was saying made sense. He let out a deep breath, slowly calming down.

"Then go talk to him. Find out exactly what happened, and if there was consent." Rossi rolled his eyes slightly, sighing. "And Hotch. I don't believe you raped him. That's not you. Even if you were drunk," he added.

Hotch nodded, standing. "All right." He walked out of Rossi's office and saw Reid already working. "Reid," he called. Once Reid's head turned, he added, "I'd like to see you."

Reid stood and went into Hotch's office, where Hotch had already entered. He shut the door behind him and fiddled with his hands. "You, ah, wanted to see me?"

"Yes, sit down," Hotch said, motioning to the chair. He was a bit nervous about this, but Rossi's talk had helped calm him down. Once Reid was sitting he started. "All right. I have a few questions. Well, mainly one. What we did last night, was it...consensual?"

Reid jerked, shocked. Did Hotch know? "Yes," he lied. The word was out of his mouth before he could stop it.

Hotch nodded, sated. "All right. That's all I wanted to know." He was inwardly sighing with relief as he watched Reid nod, then stand. "Also, Reid. You are aware this can't happen again, correct?"

"Yes, sir," Reid murmured, numbly. He walked out of Hotch's office, feeling a bit vindicated. While what he did was wrong and always would be, he was right in the end. Hotch would never love him. His eyes prickled as he sat down at his desk, glancing towards Hotch's office.

Maybe...just one day, he'd move on from this unrequited love...Maybe...he'd find love...

And maybe, just maybe...the guilt would fade from his heart...

A/N: Okay. I probably have a lot of errors since I wrote most of this at eight am. So, feel free to nitpick me on those. Anyway. Another fic will be up shortly. Just have to finish it. Hope somebody likes this.