HULLO! Once more I'm practicing my skills!

These are rules I've done for a fic I'm working on called 'Tegami Bachi Transformed' you should read it if you don't get the characters.

Rated T for language and other stuff.

I told you I'd do this Mary!

Disclaimer: I don't own TB. Seriously. But I really want to…

Guidelines for living in Amberground

By Bree Alexanders

Rule 1#: Never, ever under ANY circumstances steal or eat my food

(Lag insisted on having this as rule one)

(I have no idea why)

(Connor learnt the hard way)

(*snicker*)

xXx

Rule 2#: The following shirts are now banned from the Bee hive:

*I survived: an angry Niche (That is an achievement in itself)

*I survived: a clusterf*ck of Gaichuu (Me and Zazie's favourite)

*Choking hazard (with an arrow pointing at the wearer's genitalia)

*I survived: one of Zazie's moods (Mary's idea)

(More to be added when I think of some)

xXx

Rule 3#: Never say the following when fighting either a Gaichuu or a member of Reverse:

(We had so much fun)

*Right now would be the perfect time to panic! (Zazie hit me)

*BLAAAAAHHHHH IMMA FIRIN MAH LAZOOOR!

*QUICK! Let's sacrifice a virgin!

*I call shotgun! (Lag)

*Where's the fire extinguisher?

*Quick! Let's show them the universal sign of hate and anger! *flips the bird*

*Quick! Get the pointy sticks! (Pointy sticks will not kill Gaichuu)

*Are you feeling it now Mr Krabs?

xXx

Rule 4#: No quoting Whose Line

*There's nothing like butt toast and head eggs! (Sylvette did a spit take)

*I love the Village People, they give me confidence. Even though I'm not too bright, I am rather dense. I have a fat, white body, and I don't have a tan. But when I put on leather pants, I am a Macho Man (I was shocked when Connor said this)

*You'll never get passed the little tea pots! (Lloyd loves his tea parties)

xXx

Rule 5#: The song the 'bird is the word' is forever banned from Amberground

(I've never seen Aria's eye twitch that badly)

(Dr. Thunderland was this close to smashing his head through a wall)

xXx

Rule 6#: Don't EVER make bets about Lag, his personality, and above all, his crossdressing

(He didn't speak to me for about a week)

(big baby)

(The director still owes me that 2,000 rin)

xXx

Rule 7#: Don't egg on Pissaro to juggle grenades or any type of explosive

(I'm no longer allowed explosives without Ebony's consent first)

(Safety first, kids)

xXx

Rule 8#: Don't randomly say in a dark voice 'I need to find a better host body…'

(I cracked up when Lag said that)

(Everyone else was slightly alarmed)

xXx

Rule 9#: Never randomly talk to yourself whenever anyone, human or otherwise, is around

(Thunderland will jump an excuse to do a medical exam)

xXx

Rule 10#: Don't ever spike Sylvette's soup with ANYTHING!

(that includes: Coke, Sprite, Nesquik, Energon, High grade or any other sugary drink or powdered drink)

(Me, Lag, Zazie and Connor went insane)

('TRY IT! IT'S MAGICALLY FUCKING DELICIOUS!')

xXx

Rule 11#: Never keep saying 'are we there yet?' Over and over when getting a ride from Connor's rental carriage

(He dumped me and Niche in a desert)

xXx

Rule 12#: Don't play really, really, really loud music

(I swear to god Aria is actually like, three times her age)

(All she does is complain about 'kids these days with their loud music and psychotic tendencies)

(Ugh)

xXx

Rule 13#: Don't accuse random people of having a boner

(It will lead to conversations other people don't want you having)

(It was fun for me though)

(killjoys)

xXx

Rule 14#: No quoting 'Potter Puppet Pals'

(Daily debriefing is sooo much more fun now)

(Everything's better out of context!)

xXx

Rule 15#: Be careful anywhere near stairs

(I manage to trip up them)

(Zazie keeps laughing at me)

xXx

Rule 16#: The following movies are now banned:

*Scream 1, 2, 3 & 4 (Lag has major trust issues)

*High school musical (This movie lies)

*The hangover (This actually ended up happening to us)

*Titanic (Zazie hates this movie) (It's so depressing)

*Nemo (Nemo was declared deformed/a mutant due to his fin) (Lag cried through the movie)

*Poltergeist (I'm pretty sure most of the Hive needs therapy for intense paranoia)

xXx

Rule 17#: No more 'That's what she said'!

(Now, almost anything can sound dirty)

xXx

Rule 18#: Don't piss off Sylvette

('Nuff said)

xXx

Rule 19#: Don't quote any of Tatyana Witwicky's fic's or anything the characters say

(Results are, insanity will ensue)

*'Whoa! I like the way you said that. BOOM!'

*'He's so boring! He doesn't get mad when I poke him!' (I suggested Niche try poking him with her swords) (Moc has now requested a bodyguard)

*'NOTHING! I JUST FELT LIKE HOLDING MY EYE AND SCREAMING!'

*'It jiggles!' (Everyone in ear-shot's faces were priceless!)

*'I'm a vegetarian...except for steak! I love steak!' (Niche has a good sense of humour)

*'I called your boyfriend gay and he hit me with his purse!' (Making fun of Zazie's 'mail bag' is bad)

xXx

Rule 20#: Don't randomly run around the bee-hive screaming 'HOLY SHIT!' over and over again

(I had to take a mentality test)

(yes, they have those in Amberground, apparently)

xXx

WOOOOOOO!

Part one is done!

I don't own anything by Tatyana Witwicky.

Please let me know what you think!

Any suggestions for rules are welcome!