Title: Still Breathing (1/2)
Summary: "You're exactly what I need." The morning after prom has Blaine wrestling with his own fears. This could be considered a sequel to my fic Breathing Easy because it follows the established timeline, though it's not a necessary read. Set after PQ. Alludes to episodes Sexy, BIOTA, and OS. Chapter 1/2.
Rating: T
Category: Glee, KH/BA (Klaine)
Disclaimer: I don't own Glee. Really. Song is Watch You Sleeping by Blue Foundation.

A/N: Because I just can't seem to let this storyline go. And I wanted to know how Blaine dealt with facing his fears, underneath all the encouragement and optimism and smiles. So, of course, there's more angst. Though, honestly, I tried not to be too angsty and sentimental, but that rarely works with me. But there's always a happy ending!

And because I gave Burt some face time in my last fic, I thought it only fair that Carole get to witness the awesomeness that is Klaine too. :-) And gay or straight, who wouldn't want a dad like Burt? Awesome.

There are references to my other fic You Found Me, but again, it's not a necessary read.

...

Carole had always been an early riser, even on weekends, and today was no different. The sun was just peeking over the horizon when she left Burt still lightly snoring in bed. She slipped on her robe and slippers, and padded down the hall. Remembering Burt's mention that Blaine was sleeping over, and in Kurt's room, she had stopped at Kurt's slightly open door and peeked in.

There was just enough light coming through the window for Carole to make out the two boys snuggled close under the comforter, Kurt's back to Blaine. Kurt was definitely asleep, his head resting deeply on the pillow and lips slightly parted. A closer look at Blaine, however, revealed that his head was propped up on his hand, his elbow pressed into the pillow. Carole could just make out his eyelashes moving, giving away his slow blinking. He was looking down at Kurt's face. His soft whisper a moment later confirmed his wakefulness.

"You're perfect, you know that right?" Carole felt her heart swell at the tenderness she heard. "I could watch you sleep forever." Carole stepped a bit closer, feeling guilty for eavesdropping but wanting to hear more all the same.

"I wish I could take you away from everything that is bad and mean in this world. I wish you never had to cry, or scream, or feel pain. I wish I could do that." And now Carole heard the frustration, the sadness, in the boy's suddenly small-sounding voice. She rested her hand over her heart at the heartbreak she felt, at the realization that this boy wanted exactly what she and Burt wanted for Kurt.

"You were so brave last night. You showed everyone that they couldn't beat you, that they couldn't break you. You are so much stronger than I am.

"I ran away from my bullies. I hid myself away. I thought I was getting better, but you showed me that I was just the same. That I had just covered everything up rather than face them-the bullies, my life, myself, everything." Carole's heart clenched and she found herself holding her breath as Blaine's voice faltered.

"You say I'm too good for you, but the reality is that I could never compare to you. I'm scared all the time. I've put up a front for so long that I don't know how to tear it down. I'm barely holding myself together, and I didn't realize how broken I was until you came along." Carole thought she could hear the tears, was sure they must be there in the boy's eyes just as her own blurred her vision. She watched Blaine shake his head and heard him take a shaky breath. He leaned over and kissed Kurt's cheek lightly. Carole waited, along with Blaine, to see if her stepson would wake. But he only seemed to snuggle closer to the dark-haired boy, unaware of Blaine's torment. Carole found herself both thankful for and saddened by his obliviousness.

"I don't know if I can be what you need," Blaine revealed after a long moment of silence. "But I can't let you go. I don't know what to do." Carole was sure Blaine was crying now, could see him turn his face into the palm that had been supporting his head and could see the tremor in his upper body. She wanted nothing more than to take this boy in her arms, to hold him close and tell him that he was what Kurt needed, had seen with her own eyes how happy Kurt was with him and how much stronger Kurt was now that he had Blaine in his life. Even though Blaine had only recently become a regular fixture at their house, Carole felt nothing but love for Kurt's boyfriend. And with both Burt and Finn easily accepting him, Blaine had quickly become part of the family. As she watched Blaine continue to struggle with his emotions, Carole wondered, not for the first time, if Blaine had anyone in his own life to help dispel his worries.

Still amidst an internal debate about whether to make her presence known and comfort Blaine, Carole was startled to hear Kurt's voice.

"Blaine?" Kurt's voice was quiet, slurred. Carole saw Blaine tense, heard his slow intake of breath. Carole held her breath, waiting. But Kurt didn't turn around, nor move at all. Blaine leaned closer to the other boy, careful not to jostle the bed too much. "You found me," Kurt murmured again, relief clear in his tone. Blaine let out a soft chuckle.

"God, even in sleep, you're perfect." Carole found her lungs taking in air again, hearing the lightness return to Blaine's voice. She could still hear the sadness and regret, but at least they weren't overpowering. She marveled at how such a few words from her stepson could ease Blaine's turmoil, and he wasn't even awake. She stifled a laugh at the last thought.

Blaine pressed another kiss to Kurt's cheek and settled back, his hand cradling his head again. He seemed content watching Kurt, and Carole no longer had the desire nor felt the need to interrupt such an intimate moment. With one last look, Carole headed down the rest of the hall and down the stairs.

...

"Did you get any sleep last night?" Kurt murmured, eyes still closed as he rolled onto his back. He smiled when Blaine rested his chin against his shoulder and felt his breath against his neck, the other boy's arm still firmly wrapped around his waist. "Or did you watch me the whole time?

Kurt felt Blaine shift, knew the other boy was looking at him even before he opened his eyes. Kurt blinked, letting his eyes adjust to the already bright room. When he turned his head against the pillow, his still blurry eyes met Blaine's clear ones, confirming his suspicion.

"You're always watching me," Kurt answered Blaine's curious expression. The blush rose on Blaine's cheeks and he blinked, looked away, clearly embarrassed at being caught. Kurt shifted closer, pressing his palm against Blaine's jaw. "It was disconcerting at first, but now I find it endearing." Kurt kissed Blaine lightly, hoping to reinforce his next words. "It makes me feel safe, loved," he whispered against his boyfriend's lips. Kurt felt Blaine's sharp intake of air, felt Blaine's arm tightening around his waist and tugging him closer, kissing him deeply. Kurt sighed happily, sliding his fingers along Blaine's neck to lace through the dark curls at his nape. Blaine slipped his other arm around Kurt and pulled him even closer. Kurt was keenly aware of their bodies pressed together, of the heat he felt and the desire to have more. Tongues danced as the kiss continued.

Too soon, Kurt felt Blaine pulling his lips away and not wanting the kiss to end, Kurt slid his other hand over Blaine's chest, gripping the fabric of his t-shirt to keep the other boy close. Blaine moaned into Kurt's mouth as Kurt pressed his lips more firmly against Blaine's, and Kurt's heart hammered against his chest at the knowledge that he had caused that sound.

When Blaine attempted to pull away a second time, Kurt allowed it only because he felt the need for air tugging at his now hazy mind. Taking in several deep breaths, he opened his eyes only to find Blaine's still closed and the other boy's breathing still ragged.

"Blaine?" Kurt loosened his grip on Blaine's t-shirt and let his fingers slip from the back of his neck. His fingers traced up the other boy's cheek, where they ghosted over his eyelids and back down to lips that were now slightly swollen and parted. He felt stilted breaths against his fingers. Blaine finally opened his eyes and Kurt pulled his fingers back at what he saw, at the look of adoration he had come to recognize tinged with what he could only describe as desire. And the redness Kurt first took as tiredness, seemed more indicative of an underlying sadness.

Blaine ducked his head, pressing his nose against Kurt's neck. "I'm sorry," he breathed against Kurt's skin, sending shivers throughout Kurt's body.

"For what?" Kurt asked a moment later, sure he could hear the tremor in his voice.

"I-," Blaine hesitated, still sounding breathless and still hiding his face against Kurt's shoulder. Kurt ran his fingers through Blaine's now unruly hair.

"Tell me," Kurt ordered gently. Blaine took a deep breath before lifting his eyes to meet Kurt's.

"I need you to be here," he whispered, and Kurt could now see the sadness and fear in the other boy's eyes. "I need you to be real, to be really here," he rambled on. Kurt sensed the panic just under the surface and his heart clenched. He so rarely saw Blaine so insecure, that his fears ran just as deep as Kurt's, if not deeper for having gone through what he had. Kurt's heart fractured at the thought that Blaine hadn't had anyone like he had Blaine when things were at their worst, and that he had put up a much stronger front then Kurt had ever had to.

"I'm here," Kurt asserted, not sure what else to say. Blaine ducked his head again. Kurt continued to run his fingers slowly through Blaine's hair, his other arm wrapping around Blaine's shoulder and pulling him close. Kurt felt Blaine tighten his arms around his back.

"I just need you so much," Blaine murmured against Kurt's shoulder. Kurt felt tears rising, felt his heart pound at the emotion he heard in the other boy's voice and the way Blaine clung to him. Blaine had been there for him last night, at prom and after, when the adrenaline had worn off and he was left with only his doubts and the reality of what had happened. But now, having slept peacefully in the early hours of the morning and with daylight filling the room, he was more at peace with last night's events then he thought he would ever be. Kurt was pretty sure it was all due to waking up with Blaine beside him.

"You were so brave last night," Kurt said softly. Blaine pulled away, his expression doubtful. "You were," Kurt asserted. Blaine didn't respond, instead he let go of Kurt and rolled onto his back. Immediately missing their closeness, Kurt scooted nearer and propped his head up with an arm on the pillow, watching Blaine. He rested his hand on Blaine's chest, matching his own breathing to the rise and fall he felt there. Kurt reveled in the fact that after everything at prom, they were here, still breathing, still together. Blaine looked back at Kurt, his expression clearly adoring. Kurt felt the blush creep over his cheeks, but he didn't look away. They stayed like that, looking at each other, for some time.

"What are you thinking about?" Kurt finally asked, no longer waiting for Blaine to respond to his previous comment. Blaine quirked a smile.

"How beautiful you are." Kurt's blush reappeared, but he would not be distracted by the compliment.

"Besides that," Kurt prodded further. Blaine let out a quiet sigh and closed his eyes. Kurt waited expectantly for several moments, but when Blaine didn't open his eyes, he leaned in and pressed a chaste kiss to Blaine's lips. He felt Blaine respond, and lingered in the kiss for another moment. When he pulled away, Blaine opened his eyes. Kurt could see the conflict. Staying close, he said softly, "I want to be here for you, like you always are for me." Kurt felt Blaine's breathing hitch, felt Blaine's hand wrapping around his own. "Please let me," Kurt whispered, squeezing Blaine's hand and wanting so much to banish the other boy's worries just as Blaine had done for him so many times before.

"I wanted so much to run away last night," came the quiet confession.

"But you didn't," Kurt replied emphatically. "I'm going to say it again, you were so brave." Blaine shook his head slightly, laughing bitterly.

"I couldn't ask you to dance. I couldn't kiss you." Blaine paused, only to continue before Kurt could interject. "I couldn't even hold your hand." He looked ruefully down at their intertwined hands.

"But you did," Kurt contradicted, clearly remembering when he had turned around in the middle of the dance floor to see his boyfriend with his hand extended and a nervous but encouraging smile. He remembered how they had kissed in the parking lot, and he felt his heart race as he relived their heated kiss in the car.

"It's not the same." Blaine spared a glance at Kurt before looking away again.

"Why not?" Kurt asked gently.

"It doesn't count when it results from a stupid prank." The bitterness and sadness were evident, and Blaine slid his hand away from Kurt's. Kurt let him go, but only because he wanted to press his fingers along Blaine's jaw to pull the other boy's attention back to him. When their eyes met, Kurt mustered his most convincing tone.

"But it does count because that's when it mattered the most." Kurt held his gaze, but he could still see Blaine's doubts despite his own conviction. His heart clenched at seeing his normally happy and confident Blaine so clearly unsure of himself, and his heart broke at Blaine's next words.

"I can't be what you need." Kurt stared at the other boy, wondering how Blaine could ever think that he wasn't everything that Kurt needed. But Blaine was looking at him with such a look of fear, as if Kurt might actually agree with him. Kurt felt the tears stinging his eyes and he leaned in to press a desperate kiss to Blaine's lips, wanting to dispel all of Blaine's insecurities. Feeling the other boy's reluctance only fueled Kurt's determination, and he shifted so that he was lying partly atop him, their chests pressed together, his hands alternatively gripping the other boy's shirt and caressing his neck. Kurt trailed kisses along Blaine's jaw and neck, reveling in the way Blaine's breathing stuttered and his fingers clung to Kurt's waist. When Kurt found his way back to Blaine's lips, he pressed a light but lingering kiss there.

"You are exactly what I need," Kurt whispered once Blaine blinked his eyes open, the fear tempered but still present. Kurt stroked Blaine's cheek tenderly as he continued, "you are strong and caring. You are kind and sweet and giving. You are beautiful." Blaine's gaze faltered, but Kurt refused to let him look away. Propping himself on his elbow, Kurt cupped Blaine's face with both his hands, ghosting his thumb across Blaine's lips.

"You give me courage and confidence," Kurt continued, his gaze not wavering from Blaine's, wanting the other boy to see the truth. "You make me better." Blaine blinked, and Kurt could see tears pressing against dark eyelashes. He leaned close and whispered conspiratorially, "you make me happy." Kurt kissed away the tears that now escaped slowly down Blaine's cheeks. Blaine wrapped his arms tightly around Kurt moments later, burying his face in Kurt's shoulder. Kurt could feel the other boy's shaky breathing.

"You are exactly what I need," Kurt repeated, running his fingers through Blaine's hair again. Despite the awkward position as Kurt still lay partly on top of Blaine, he couldn't have cared less. All he thought about was making sure Blaine knew how amazing he was and how much Kurt needed him. They stayed like that for several long moments, Kurt whispering soothing words as Blaine struggled to regain his composure.

Gradually, Kurt felt Blaine's breathing even out, felt his arms loosen around him. And when he felt Blaine's lips against his neck, Kurt smiled. Bracing himself with one hand on the bed beside Blaine's shoulder, he pressed himself up enough to look at Blaine. The small smile that graced the other boy's lips had Kurt smiling back.

"Better?" Kurt asked gently. Blaine nodded despite his eyes still shining with tears. Kurt could feel his own mood lightening, feel his happiness grow with Blaine's smile.

"Thank you," Blaine said softly, his voice still rough with emotion.

"You know you're amazing, right?" Kurt teased, remembering Blaine's words from last night. He also remembered the way Blaine held him as he cried, when he had needed someone to comfort him and ease his own sadness. Kurt felt tears stinging his eyes again. "I love you," he affirmed, his vision blurring.

"God, I love you," Blaine replied sincerely, blinking away his own tears. He offered Kurt another smile. "We're quite a pair, aren't we?" he added ruefully.

"Perfect for each other, I'd say." Blaine laughed at that, tugging Kurt down for a kiss. The kiss instantly deepened as tongues tangled together. Blaine slipped his hand between the mattress and Kurt's hand and tugged it down, pulling Kurt more atop him. Kurt made a noise, a mix of surprise and contentment at feeling Blaine so close. He raised his free hand, tracing light touches along Blaine's jaw, neck and shoulder. When Blaine tilted his head to kiss Kurt even more deeply, Kurt's hand tightened around Blaine's and his fingers gripped Blaine's shoulder. His desire flamed, and Kurt shifted against Blaine, eliciting a moan from the boy. They pulled away moments later, breathless.

"You drive me crazy," Blaine whispered against Kurt's lips. Kurt kissed Blaine again, letting the contact linger but not deepen.

"I want you so much." Kurt's voice cracked, barely a whisper, when he spoke. Though embarrassed by his confession, he looked down at Blaine, seeing the desire reflected in the other boy's eyes. Blaine smirked, and Kurt gave him a curious look.

"Clearly." Blaine slipped his hand out of Kurt's and rested it gently on Kurt's hip. Kurt followed Blaine's attention and noticed he was atop Blaine more than he had realized. His hips were pressed against Blaine's pelvis, and his leg was wrapped around Blaine's thighs. Kurt's eyes went wide and he felt the heat on his cheeks. He hadn't remembered doing that when they were kissing. Blaine only smiled, kissing Kurt's cheek. "As much as I enjoy having you wrapped around me, I think your dad might have something else to say."

Kurt took his time untangling himself from Blaine, not wanting to lose the closeness but understanding the need for some distance. There was no awkwardness. Both knew they weren't ready for more, and both knew that a time would come when they would be. Surprisingly, neither was in any hurry. They settled on their sides, facing each other, hands clasped between them. Kurt was pleased to see Blaine more relaxed, a lazy smile on his face.

"You didn't answer my question from before," Kurt started, tucking his free hand between his cheek and the pillow. "Did you get any sleep last night?" Blaine shrugged, but Kurt could see the exhaustion now that the fear had left his expression. It had probably exacerbated his previously dark mood. Kurt knew by the way the light streamed in through the window behind him that it was mid-morning. And while he rarely slept in this late, he had no problem making an exception.

"You should sleep," Kurt recommended softly.

"I slept a little. I'm okay."

"Blaine," Kurt chastised lightly. "Finals are coming up. I won't have you failing because you didn't get enough sleep." Blaine got a goofy grin on his face.

"Finals are a month away."

"So?" Kurt quirked an eyebrow in mock defiance. "I can't be concerned about my boyfriend?" Blaine's grin grew wider and before Kurt could argue, Blaine had pulled him into another embrace. Kurt wrapped his arms around the other boy and laughed at the way Blaine nuzzled his neck. When Blaine released him, Kurt settled on his back. Blaine laid his head on Kurt's shoulder as Kurt wrapped his arm around Blaine's torso.

"I love hearing you call me your boyfriend," Blaine said contentedly, letting his hand rest on Kurt's chest. Kurt covered it with his.

"I love that you're happy," Kurt replied earnestly.

"Only because you're here."

Kurt kissed Blaine's forehead then, letting his lips linger, "sleep, my sweet prince. I'll be here."

"Will you sing?" Blaine asked shyly a moment later, voice muffled against Kurt's neck.

"What do you want to hear?"

"Anything." Kurt thought for a few moments, mentally scanning through the hundreds of songs on his computer. He finally dismissed a song from Wicked, and opted for a less well known song.

I want to watch you sleeping peaceful
Resting your heart and your soul
We should never awake without the other
Lying by our side

I want to learn from the calm with which you
Aim at your dreams and your goals
And I'm sure your stories always will unfold

I want to join you sleeping peaceful
Feeling the sun in our room
What a plenty of rays and beaming light
Surely, it does me good

I want to trust the pulse
In which decay is followed by bloom
And I'm sure any flaw will turn out beautiful

As Kurt sang, he ran his hand soothingly over Blaine's arm. He felt Blaine's breathing slow and his body relax against his. Sure that the other boy was asleep, Kurt closed his eyes, letting the quiet lull him back into slumber.

...

(continued in chapter 2)