Itachi and Sasuke the...Frog?

Once upon a time, there lived Itachi, Prince of Akatsukingdom and son of King Pein and Queen Konan. He had everything, well almost everything, that he wanted. He had the kind of life where the whole world would bow down at his feet if he wanted it. Women? He could have that too. With his good looks, they just die at the sight of him! But the Prince needs none of that. All he wishes is for his brother Sasuke to come back. Oh poor little Sasuke, who was lost at the little age of seven. He left his mother devastated and his father...sad? No. At that time, he was too busy getting a new piercing done. Such a loving father, little Sasuke must've been proud.

Itachi, on the other hand, was furious. He was angry at the guards who didn't watch him well enough, angry at the servants for not following him closely enough, angry at his father, who just didn't care, and most of all, at himself. He blamed everyone for Sasuke's disappearance. One day, Itachi went to full rage mode and murdered every guard and servant with Sasuke that day. On that same day, he killed everyone within a ten feet radius of him, sparing no one, every child, every animal, even his secret lover(who we will NOT talk about today!) Ah, yes. The young Prince had gone mad.

One particular warm, Spring afternoon, Itachi was found walking by the lake in the outskirts of town.

"Itachiiiii!" He heard something whisper-no, more like croak.

"Who's there?" He asked.

"Look down." Itachi looked down, only to see a frog.

"Where are you?"

"I'm right here!" The frog screamed, jumping up and down. Itachi retreated a few steps back in surprise. "It's me, Sasuke!" Itachi's face fell.

"How dare you pretend to me my brother, stupid frog!" He was about to kick the frog away into space before the reptile said something that made him stop.

"I really am! I can prove it! I really can!"

"How?"

"Kiss me! You have to kiss! Then I'll become human again!"

"..." Itachi's face showed no emotion but inside, he had the urge to run off and puke. Kiss a frog? How utterly disgusting. But this is Sasuke we're talking about...it's worth a try, right?

"Well?"

"Hn." Even though his instincts were telling him no, Itachi shut his eyes and kissed it. Slowly, the frog began to glow and took the form of Orochimaru! JUST KIDDING! Did I get the image burned into your mind yet?

The frog was indeed Sasuke. Itachi backed away and opened his eyes to see. There was his brother, twelve years old now, still wearing the clothes he had on that day he was lost. The two brothers awkwardly stared at each other.

"Itachi."

"Sasuke." Begin the staring contest of the century!

...

...

...

...I lost...

...

...five minutes in, Sasuke's eyes began to squint. Itachi smirked, he will win this. Sasuke's eyes got smaller and smaller until..

"Itachi, look! Dango!"

"What?" Itachi asked, momentarily forgetting what he was doing, a.k.a he blinked.

"Ha! You blinked! I finally beat you, brother! I have finally defeated you and broke your undefeated streak!"

"Sasuke...you will get nowhere in life with dirty tricks like that." Itachi said, matter-of-factly. Sasuke's hands formed fists and he shook.

"Itachi...I...I..." For some unexplained reason, Itachi thought Sasuke would thank him for teaching him a life lesson. Instead, Sasuke reached into his pocket and pulled out...one tomato.

"I WILL KILL YOU ITACHI!" With all the force he could muster, Sasuke threw that tomato in Itachi's direction. The Uchiha prince just got tomato'ed.

"Why?" Itachi whispered behind a face of smushed tomato.

"Because...because...it was all your fault! That day I was lost, all the guards scattered across the land to look for me. The servants called my name all day and night. What were you doing? You had your butt glued to a chair in a shop, eating fifty sticks of dango!"

Itachi thought back to that day, five years ago. Those were some good dango. It was on sale too. Uncle Kakuzu had a big influence on Itachi at the time.

"I'm sorry Sasuke. Would you like me to take you to that Dango shop sometime?"

"No! I hate dango and I hate you! Eating all those sweets aren't good for you, Itachi. You should eat some more vegetables!" With that, Sasuke pulled out a cannon and fired tomatoes at Itachi, who took every blow while adding comments of his own.

"This is very childish of you Sasuke." Boom. "I thought we raised you better."

"Shut up!" Sasuke stopped for a second to refill the crate of tomatoes, then started firing immediately.

"Sasuke, you do realize that tomatoes are fruit."

"They are not!"

"Yes. They are." Itachi cleared his throat and began a lecture on fruits and tomatoes. "Fruits have seeds in them." End of lecture. Clap. Clap. Clap.

"Itachi!" Sasuke ran and made a wild grab for his brother. Itachi stopped him by knocking him out cold. Sasuke fell to the ground and Itachi dragged him back to the castle.

"Is this really him?" A woman whispered.

"Yes, this is him, mother."

"I can't believe it. After all these years. Pein? Pein? Itachi, where is your father?"

"Piercing."

"Ah..I see." Sasuke's eyes slowly opened and focused on the people in the room. There was a blue haired women and a black haired man.

"Who are you?"

"Sasuke, don't you remember me? I'm your mother!"

"..who?" Konan looked at her son with a worried look.

"Itachi...why doesn't he remember?"

"Sasuke, do you know who I am?" Sasuke stared at Itachi, racking his brain for some clues as to who this man is.

"I don't know." Itachi let out a sigh and explained everything to his little brother.

"I'm Itachi, this is Konan. I'm your older brother and she's our mom. You were just a little boy when you got..."

"Sick! You got very, very sick and suffered from a coma all these years!" Konan finished.

"Really? I don't remember any of this. You guys must've been worried."

"We were. Very much, Sasuke." They all hugged.

"I hope father doesn't mess this up." Itachi whispered to his mother.

"Don't worry. I'll make sure he won't." Konan assured him with an evil glint in her eyes.

And they lived happily ever after.

"The end." Kirina finished. "Now wasn't that a good story, Kisame?"

"Sniff...sniff."

"Ki...same?"

"I should've been the one to kiss Itachi!"

"Umm...okay." Deidara burst into the secret recording room.

"What are you talking about, un! I should be the one!"

"Deidara! What are you-"

"BACK OFF ALL OF YOU! HE'S MINE!" Everyone stands there, dumbfounded.

"Who the heck are you?"

"I am the greatest ninja of all time, Uchiha Madara! FEAR ME!"

"...Nah."

"You don't look as hot as I am, un."

"What are you saying! How dare you!"

"I'm just saying that you're a bag of wrinkles, un."

"I have smoother hair than you!"

"Oh no. You did NOT just go there, un!"

"Hey...don't forget about me..." Kisame sulked in his lonely corner once again.

"I have awesome eyeliner, un!"

"Well I have Ah-mazing nail polish!"

"Where?"

"In my house!"

"Umm...guys?" -_-" "You're kinda going off topic here..."

GOMEN NASAI! I'm sorry for not updating for such a long time! The weasel gave me a really hard time. I had to rewrite this chapter at least three time because the stories just didn't seem right. I really want to thank The 5th Arisu for giving me the idea of The Princess and the Frog!

Okay, poll results. For the poll, 'What would you wish for if you met the golden shark?'

7 voted for somehow warping into the Naruto world and meeting the crush of your dreams. (no surprise there)

3 voted for money (and one of them was Kakuzu...)

1 voted for teddy bears! (Again..Kakuzu)

1 voted for world domination!(Please don't kill me!)

The next poll will not be Naruto related at all. Is corn a fruit? That's what I'm wondering...It has seeds but it just seems vegetable-like. What do you think?

...I'm surprised if anyone reads this...it has been a while, ne?